As much as we’d like every day to be perfect, where we jump with enthusiasm to take on everything we have in front of us, it’s an unfair expectation to have. Even further there are some days where we’re even lower on the spectrum, we feel more tired, less creative, and less motivated. I believe it’s in these moments where our character really shines, and how we act when we are sluggish is a great indicator of who we are. I’m human and not above any of this myself, in fact as I’m preparing this I feel a little bit of it today. So I want to share a few of the things I’m thinking about that are helping me work through it.

The first is being self-aware and honest about it. Don’t try to reject how you feel, feel sorry for yourself that you feel that way, or judge yourself for not feeling how you want to. Be truthful to yourself about how you feel so that you can work within it rather than fail to overcome it. I did that, and now I’m weighing it against the full and ambitious day I have planned for myself, and in this energetic state it’s daunting. So instead of being paralyzed by that overwhelm and doing nothing, I’m choosing to prioritize a few things on my schedule and give myself more time to do them well. It’s not ideal but it’s certainly better than doing nothing, which could be the end result of trying to do it all.

Then also, give yourself what you need. If it’s a nap then take it. A break then plan it. It’s unlikely you want tomorrow to be the same so make sure you do what it takes to get your energy back on track. Yes, some of this is mindset, and something that might help kickstart a better way of relating with everything is to take a little napitation. Close your eyes and give yourself a midday meditation, and take all the pressure off of how it goes.

When you don’t have everything to give you need to make sure you give something, double down on that somethings and prepare yourself to make tomorrow different. This happens to everyone, and to give some presence to it I’ll ask you to reflect on this question - When was the last time you didn’t have your 100%?

If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily prompts that help you get to know yourself better and build a more meaningful life every day. 

If you’re looking to grow alongside a community of like-minded improvers, then click here to join the Better Together Community.

“All you can do is all you can do.”

Although the quote repeats itself both statements carry their own meaning. The first half touches on the idea that so many things are out of our control, and they affect us in significant ways. The reality is we’re vulnerable to outside forces and that’s just the way it is. So this part of the quote is a reminder that life is uncertain and unpredictable by no fault of your own, and you need to be prepared to navigate it. That’s all you can do.

Then the second repetition of the statement is a suggestion about what is in our control, which is our effort, persistence, and mindset. While some things are beyond our capacity there are many things that we can do to impact a situation. In fact you have more influence over your life than you might think, and unless you give your 100%, you’re leaving opportunity on the table. All you can do is give it everything you’ve got, applying yourself fully, and do as much as you can to generate the outcomes you desire.

Alright, two “all you can dos”, one expression... What does it mean when you put it all together? My summary is this: You need to accept that many things out of your control, but with those things that are in your control you need to give it your absolute best! 

It’s sad to acknowledge about people, and myself included, but I don’t think people give things their all as often as they could. With that in mind I want to pose a question for you to reflect on - When was the last time you gave it your 100%?‍

If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily prompts that help you get to know yourself better and build a more meaningful life every day. 

If you’re looking to grow alongside a community of like-minded improvers, then click here to join the Better Together Community.

One thing that I guarantee will make your life better is being more grateful. In fact implementing a gratitude practice is my first recommendation for anyone looking to change their life. But what’s interesting is there are two sides to gratitude, the first we’re more familiar with is how it affects us in the present, and the second is how it affects our future.

In case you needed to hear it - It is entirely possible and perfectly acceptable to be grateful for what you have and still want more. If you’re like me, maybe you carry around a guilt that you aren’t truly grateful for what you have because you place so much value on what you don’t have. What I’ve come to find is that these two elements are not connected, and the self-criticism we carry often inhibits us from pursuing the things we want as whole heartedly as we’d like.

Yes everyone’s circumstances and means are different.  But knowing that you have access to the internet right now, you benefit from some sort of privilege. But everyone in the world is worthy of aspiring for more. That's not reserved for the privileged, it’s accessible to everyone, so why reject that within yourself?  I’d argue that your privilege allows you to dream bigger, and you should, because then you can create more value for others and help pull them up.

I’d like you to reflect on this question - How much are you allowing yourself to dream?

If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily prompts that help you get to know yourself better and build a more meaningful life every day. 

If you’re looking to grow alongside a community of like-minded improvers, then click here to join the Better Together Community.

We’ve probably all been there. As you are ending your day, ready to go to sleep, you resolve to be different. I’m going to wake up at 6am, jump right out of bed, meditate, journal, get a work out in and cook breakfast all before 8am. Then I’m going to do the 20 things I need to do for work, the 10 chores and errands around the house, and just do it all. Have you ever felt that? I call it night-time motivation. It’s way easier to say you’re going to do it than to actually do it isn’t it? 

Of course we know how this story ends - The alarm goes off and you’re feeling absolutely exhausted so you give yourself another 20 minutes of sleep. Then when you wake up the last thing you want to do is work out, and you’re already behind on your day, so you don’t deliver on your priorities like you intended to. You go about the things you need to do without any real organization or structure, you felt busy but not really productive, then you put your head down for bed and again resolve that tomorrow will be different.

I’m not here to just tell you that this happens, I want to share how you might be able to fix it. The intention is good, I’m a huge advocate for deciding what you want to do in advance to avoid emotional decision making, but you need more than an intention. You can use a commitment device - Threaten $20 of your own dollars if you don’t follow through, tell someone else what you’re going to do. You can make a plan detailing what specifically you’re going to do when, and for how long. Or you can tie a reward to a successful day that you can only access if you got it all done.

The important piece to highlight is you need to do something else, anything else that converts that intention into action. Nighttime motivation is useful in getting clear on what you want to do, but it’s bad at getting you to actually do it. So if you have a big day coming up make sure you put in the work and elements required to pull you through it, knowing that at times you’re not going to feel like it.

If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily prompts that help you get to know yourself better and build a more meaningful life every day. 

If you’re looking to grow alongside a community of like-minded improvers, then click here to join the Better Together Community.

I realized that throughout my life I’ve carried a lot of unconscious fear and energy. Like many people I fear failure, but what’s interesting in my case is that I don’t fear failing at something new I’m trying, I’m plenty happy to do that. It’s more that I fear the overall idea that I’ll be a failure in my life - Someone who is irresponsible with their money and gets into really bad and unhealthy habits, becoming homeless or worse. 

It’s completely irrational and once I brought my attention to it I realized that it wasn’t something I need to be afraid of. I’m fortunate to have people who love me, and who will take me in if I really needed it. I’m fortunate to be smart where I have something valuable to offer, and I can always be employed. And I’ve never touched drugs, so thinking that I’ll start making some bad decisions now in my late twenties is pretty illogical. Ultimately I realized that this fear I’ve had is ridiculous and this idea that I’m a complete and abject failure... Well that will NEVER be me.

I share this perspective because I want you to think about that worst case scenario in your life. This is real talk - Do you fear you’ll be abusive to a loved one? Do you fear that you won’t be able to put food on the table for your family or that they’ll have nowhere to turn if things turn South? Think about that worst case scenario would actually look like. You’ll probably realize that there are many things you could do to climb your way out, and even before that there are many things in place that will prevent you from ever getting there in the first place. I want you to look at that fear and say “That will NEVER be me.” Release whatever it is you’re holding onto unconsciously so that it doesn’t take up any more of your energy. That’s not you.

If you're up for it, let me prompt you to get to the root of it - Think of that deepest, darkest moment you’re afraid of experiencing, and prove to yourself how that will never be possible in your life.‍

If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily prompts that help you get to know yourself better and build a more meaningful life every day. 

If you’re looking to grow alongside a community of like-minded improvers, then click here to join the Better Together Community.

An important topic for all of us to understand is stress and the role it plays in our lives. Of course, most fundamentally stress is a physiological response that is in place for our safety. It gives us the energy and focus to fight or flight when confronted with a threat. Biologically our sympathetic nervous system is activated, releasing cortisol which creates these downstream effects.

Unfortunately stress in today’s human world is a bit out of place. I read a book in college that explained this phenomenon perfectly, and it’s called “Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers” by Robert Sapolsky. But now that humans are cognitive beings in a modern world, we experience unhealthy levels of stress because we perceive many psychological threats that activate our sympathetic nervous system on a daily basis. These chronically elevated cortisol levels create health issues for us, whereas a Zebra only activates a stress response when it’s being chased by a lion.

Recently I heard stress defined as a perception that your demands exceed your needs. This makes sense because then your body reacts to expand your capacities in the only way it knows how. But on the other side of it, I want to propose more mindful practices to manage stress where you intentionally lower the perceived demand. Writing out a plan, doing objective thinking, or utilizing gratitude or perspective can help to reframe the meaning of the stressful stimulus and make it more manageable.

At the end of the day, it’s important to be aware and in control of our body’s process, paying extra attention to the ways our bodies might not be caught up to the times. So let’s wrap up by reflecting on this question - What causes unnecessary stress in your life?‍

If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily prompts that help you get to know yourself better and build a more meaningful life every day. 

If you’re looking to grow alongside a community of like-minded improvers, then click here to join the Better Together Community.

Many things only have meaning because there is the opposite to compare it to - Life and death,  health and sickness, night and day, success and failure… What I want to highlight for positivity Thursday is that same idea but the relationship between positive and negative.

Positivity only has meaning because the fulfillment, enthusiasm, and optimism of it can be compared to the feelings of despair, pain, and struggle of negativity. Oftentimes a positive mindset is tasked to see everything in a positive light, but that can be harmful to the necessary contrast it has with negativity. If you ignore negativity, or act like it doesn’t exist, then it dilutes the value of positivity because you won’t have the same spectrum to reference. It also makes you more vulnerable to negativity when it pierces that barrier because you don’t have as much experience managing it. That’s why for today’s positivity quote we’re going to talk about how we “conquer the negative”.

To say it another way, negativity is not meant to be avoided. It is meant to be felt because it provides more richness to your positivity, and in order for us to receive that value we need to allow ourselves to feel it. Just because you’re negative in the moment doesn’t mean you’re a negative person. You can be a positive person and have negative feelings… I am a positive person and I often have negative feelings. But it’s about what we do with those feelings.

To conquer the negative you need to see above it. You have an opportunity to reframe the meaning you attach to the negative feeling with perspective and gratitude. You can do whatever it is that helps you feel good, like exercising or talking it over with a friend to get it off your chest. You must not ignore the negative, you must move through it, you must conquer it.

So with all of that in mind let’s get self-aware about how you personally experience negativity: What do you do to best conquer negativity?

If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily prompts that help you get to know yourself better and build a more meaningful life every day. 

If you’re looking to grow alongside a community of like-minded improvers, then click here to join the Better Together Community.

I’ve come upon an interesting and unique idea that I wanted to share with you. I recognized that the words “aware” and “beware” have the same root - ‘ware’. In fact the only difference is the very beginning - A-ware or B-Ware. Knowing what the words mean I started relating it back to something I’ve been fascinated to learn more about, which is seeing life through the lenses of love and fear. The qualities of love and fear arguably distill the human experience into its most fundamental basics. On an instinctual level these are the two forces that influence everything else, and we evaluate everything against them. Just about everything can be related back to how it helps you experience love or avoid fear.

Our A-wareness brings consciousness to the things we’re experiencing, and when we choose what we want to experience it’s typically the pursuit of pleasure through self-mastery (or self-love), and connection (loving others). Even when we’re aware of something negative, that awareness is a means to move it toward love. Alternatively, bewareness is our brains subconscious background process that when triggered, provokes fear. It’s the threat detection system that’s on high alert at all times to protect us from all kinds of harm (physical, financial, emotional, etc.) and danger.

We have this tug of war between the two - Go for it vs hold back, 'this is great' vs 'what’s the catch?'. But what’s exciting about this relationship is love always wins. Our awareness can beat our bewareness, meaning that we can think through the nature of our threats and make more logical decisions when we allow ourselves to. A great way to do that is to take deep breaths, deactivating the sympathetic nervous system and allowing you to think more intentionally, unemotionally, and clearly. Let me leave you with this question - What is your favorite way to bring more awareness to the emotions you’re experiencing?

If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily prompts that help you get to know yourself better and build a more meaningful life every day. 

If you’re looking to grow alongside a community of like-minded improvers, then click here to join the Better Together Community.