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Weekend Recap 7/15 - 7/19

July 20, 2024
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Live By Design, Not By Default

July 19, 2024

My mentor Jim Bunch shared a line with me that has been tattooed into my brain ever since the moment he said it: “Live by design, not by default.”

As a species, one of our greatest assets is how adaptable we are. We can survive and succeed in so many different ways. But since we can make it by in so many different conditions, we forget to think about the conditions we want in life.

A life by default is the one that settles in based on natural rhythms. It’s allowing the environments we’re exposed to completely dictate the direction of our lives. We don’t have agency in this type of life and are tasked to react to what’s given.

A life by design is one that understands that we’re in control of our future and what happens to us. Rather than being at the whim of environments, we can make intentional adjustments to our environment so that they have a positive influence on us and support us in getting where we want to go.

A life by design is proactive in that you have a clear vision for what you want and you take action to make it so. There’s an infinite amount of possibilities available to us in our life, and we can hand select which ones we want to experience. We can choose the ones that give us the most joy, fulfillment, and life.

Taking the job that fell in your lap is life by default. Knocking on doors, putting yourself out there, improving your skills, and stating your value attracts your dream job by design.

Feeling like you’re overstressed, overworked, and inconsistent in your health habits is a life by default, reactive to what everyone else wants around you. Creating stronger routines, putting up boundaries, and enrolling yourself in a healthy vision for your life gets you in better shape while getting more work done, by design.

The realities of your life are not a reflection of you, they’re a reflection of your design. And if you know you’ve got more in the tank, aren’t you unhappy with just letting life run you?

Let’s change that! I’m leading a free, hour long workshop where I help you build out your Ideal Daily Design. You’ll be surprised to see how you’re just a few tweaks away from making your health a priority, having a personal life, excelling in your work, and feeling on fire with full and productive days!

Register for the workshop here!

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"You can have it your way."

July 18, 2024

I can’t remember the last time I ate at a Burger King, but I’m a fan of their long-time catch phrase! In a world that can be overly selfish at times, it was a welcome reminder that each one of us matters and deserves to be cared for.

The catch phrase was “Have it your way”.

We don’t need to settle for things how they are... We can create a new reality for ourselves.

We don’t need to diminish ourselves at the expense of others... We can pursue our fullest ambitions with pride. It’s a message of empowerment that we can change our future if we have the courage to do so.

For those of us with good intentions, having it ‘our way’ is actually what’s best for everyone. When we enforce better boundaries at work we can maximize our contribution to the project. When we insist on eating healthy in a social setting, we’re not inconveniencing others but we’re helping them make better choices themselves.

Being selfish in investing in yourself actually becomes one of the most selfless things you could do because it creates the greatest impact on others.

If you’re overstretched at work and compromising your own health, that’s not having it your way.

If you don’t have as much time for the things and people you love, or the energy to do anything at the end of a long day, that’s not having it your way.

But fortunately you can make small adjustments to how you do things that completely change your life reality. A change of plan, or reordering priorities, or making a commitment all start to shape your life your way.

Honestly, the main thing keeping people from balancing their personal life, career, and passions in a way that they feel good about is simply figuring out how it all fits together.

And if there's opportunity for you to get more consistent with the things you know you should be doing... I want to help you with it!

Next week I’m hosting a free life-design workshop where I help you see your day to day beyond how it is and explore how it can be! It’s profound how radically you can improve your life with a new design, with a new perspective, and a commitment to a new plan.

I just opened registration for this Ideal Daily Design workshop - Sign up for free live and replay access!

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Acting Your Way Into Thinking

July 17, 2024
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Tim Ferris has a great philosophy I want to elaborate on with you. He says “It’s more effective to act your way into a new way of thinking than think your way into a new way of acting.”

It rests on a foundational framework I talk a lot about called the Identity Behavior Feedback Loop.

One of the most reliable ways to upgrade our belief system is by taking consistent action. It’s the evidence of your action that causes your unconscious mind to update your beliefs.

James Clear says “every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become”. And it’s through this shift in belief that we change our baseline way of thinking.

The opposite approach, thinking our way into acting differently, is a constant struggle. How easy is it to convince ourselves that we’re going to be a healthier, more focused, more discipline person, but then very quickly even our best intentions fall off fast.

That’s because there’s a lot of resistance between new ideas and following through on them. If it were that easy we’d be doing it constantly.

That’s why being self-disciplined is a foundational mindset. Cultivate that belief first and it will support you in taking the actions necessary to upgrade other beliefs.

And here’s a pro tip - The way you do that is by finding one thing that’s easy to do but you can do consistently, and every day when you successfully complete it, you reenforce the belief by saying “That’s like me, I’m self-disciplined”.

That’s exactly what I teach you to do in my subconscious audio program called Discipline On Demand, which is one of the 9 Super Habits in the 21 Day Challenge.

Expanding on what Ferris says one step and likening ‘thinking’ to ‘feeling’, the premise of “mood follows action” is also true. If you want to feel energized, happy, focused, etc - Your first step is to take action as if you were and you’ll start to genuinely feel that way.

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A Switch To Be More Empathetic To Others

July 16, 2024

As much as we’d like to turn it off, it’s human nature to be judgmental.

In fact it’s hardwired into us evolutionarily because it helped early humans to figure out their spot in the tribe. Without proper judgment we might have been outcasted, threatening our safety and survival.

But in modern society, judgment doesn’t play quite the same role and causes us to be less friendly, less self-confident, and more unnecessarily critical of others.

To combat this, there’s a more human-centric approach I learned from Lindsey Fuller, a phenomenal nonprofit leader at 'The Teaching Well', that helps flip judgment into curiosity.

If someone acts out in an unexpected, inappropriate or insensitive way, rather than thinking “Why are they like this?”, you can ask the question “What happened to them?”

And it’s not meant to explain their flaws with a condescending tone… It’s meant to be an invitation to explore what made them who they are.

The shift in focus takes the attention away from someone’s character (Why are YOU like this?) and makes it about what they've experienced. This respectfully acknowledges the value and goodness of the self while seeking to understand its present expression of choice.

When we do this we see people as human beings first and don’t just judge their doings. We all find ourselves in situations that make us emotional, trigger unhealthy patterns, or pull us out of alignment. Recognizing the same in others helps us best support them and the uniqueness they have to offer the world.

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Conscious Wants And Unconscious Wants

July 15, 2024

Your life as it is right now is a perfect reflection of what you want. No matter the level of wealth, success, connection, or joy you live with, it is the result of you getting exactly what you want.

I understand how that might not sound believable because there are so many people living in circumstances they wouldn’t choose, tolerating life conditions that they don’t like, or are falling short of the level they know they’re capable of…

But again, we’re getting exactly what we want right now. And that’s because we’re not fully aware of what we want.

This is why I want to make a distinction between conscious wants and unconscious wants. 

A “conscious want” is something that you in your right mind see as something you’d like to have in your life. You could want to have a thriving business, lead an incredible initiative, have a deep connection with friends and family, or see the world. We express the vision of how our life could be as a conscious want.

Then there are “unconscious wants”. These are the motivational forces that work behind the scenes to drive our choices and behaviors. These are the things that cause our lives to organize into the results that we’re currently getting, even if we tell ourselves we want something else. And that’s because embedded deep down in our psyche we actually want something more or different than what we think we want.

One of the great “unconscious wants” we all share is a desire to be safe and feel secure. Even though we tell ourselves we want to start that new business or live an adventurous life, our desire to be safe and secure overrides it. It causes us to be fearful, doubtful, and keeps us cozy in the familiarity of our comfort zone.

If we want to push the pedal down on the side of really pursuing our conscious wants, we need to take our foot off the break and remove the unconscious wants that are holding us back.

We need to get introspective to understand the ways that fear and limitation are expressed in our life. And with that awareness we need to unpattern our behavior and redesign our beliefs.

If you’re not getting what you consciously want in life, this is why - you're not fully aware of what you unconsciously want. And when you shift one thing in one area it’ll cause your reality to shift as well.

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Weekend Recap 7/8 - 7/12

July 13, 2024
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Self-Improvement Is An Evolution

July 12, 2024

One of the biggest points of resistance I get from people who aren’t like us, who don’t invest in their self-improvement, is: “If I choose to do self-improvement I’m basically admitting that I’m not good enough as I am, and I don’t like that.”

I hear where they’re coming from, but I have a different perspective. I see our growth as a dynamic process that’s never-ending. It’s an evolution that is only possible because we take who we were and build on top of it. Our current self is required to evolve from.

It’s not that you aren’t healthy enough or that you weigh too much… It’s that your current self and your years of living have prepared you for this moment to commit to being healthier.

It’s not that you’ve wasted your life in a dead end job or relationship that was never going to work… It’s that you now have more experience to know where your skills can make the greatest contribution, and better identify who you’re more compatible with.

Nothing is still in life. Everything exists as an equilibrium.

The idea of ‘balance’ isn’t static but rather constant micro-corrections to maintain a neutral position. So understanding that everything is constantly changing around us, we’re best served to meet the moment and maximize ourselves within an ever changing environment.

Now if I’m speaking directly to the self-improvement skeptic’s perspective, who feels like seeking improvement is unhealthy, I’d argue that there are greater consequences to not taking personal growth seriously. Having no room for improvement implies that we’re achieving perfection as we are, and I personally find that hard to believe.

The tricky part is - I understand there's religious context that refers to being made perfectly in the image of God, and seeing imperfection in ourselves is choosing to see imperfection in God.

I can’t comment on that and I support whatever your beliefs are.

What I’m attempting to share, and found to be true for myself, is that people can change - Change themselves, change their life, and change their contribution toward others when they commit to their own self-growth.

And knowing that our growth journey is just an evolution from who we are now into who we are becoming, we realize that we’re constantly building off of our current foundation, where everything before it happened in a perfectly crafted way to support our personal evolution.

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"Walk with a purpose."

July 11, 2024
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The 3 Sources Of Discipline

July 10, 2024

The missing factor that’s keeping many people from leveling up their life is self-discipline. They know what they need to do but they don’t do it consistently.

Whether they get distracted, talk themselves out of it, or can’t find the motivation to take action, a lack of self-discipline leaves so much potential on the table.

But I think self-discipline is a bit misunderstood. It’s not staying consistent at all costs like most people think...

I disagree with the idea that there are ‘non-negotiables’ in life. True self-discipline is about consistently making the choice that most serves you and want you want most in life, even when you don’t feel like it. 

When you think of self-discipline, you probably relate it with having self-control. But as it turns out that’s just one of 3 sources for discipline.

But starting there, using self-control to be disciplined is the approach of using your willpower. It’s about consciously making yourself do something. It’s an effortful push get yourself into action and often works against the grain of your life.

Which leads us to the second source for discipline - environment. This is the natural flow that life is pulling you toward. When uninterrupted, your environment will guide you to wherever it is designed to take you. There are tactical things you can do to your environment to change where this force pulls you, which ultimately makes consistency more or less difficult depending on the design.

And the 3rd source of discipline is identity, which is basically your personal set of beliefs. Identity is a specific form of environment but rather than it being externally driven, it’s internally produced. Your beliefs shape your choices unconsciously and guides your actions. When doing something violates a belief you have, it creates resistance. When something is in alignment with a belief, it becomes easy and automatic. 

So if you want to be more disciplined, you need to think beyond willpower.

First, find ways to shift your environment to support positive action... And second, upgrade your belief system so that you genuinely see yourself as an accountable action taker in everything you do.

If you want support in doing both of those, that’s what the 21 Day Super Habits Challenge is all about. You complete a 21 day subconscious priming audio program called Discipline on Demand to transform your mindset, and you install a new life-operating system that shifts your environment and support you in being more consistent with you health habits and more productive overall.

Check it out here!

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