Self Improvement Daily Podcast

Even though we live in a world that’s comfortable and all of our needs are catered to, let’s not forget our evolutionary past. Humans are designed through evolution to be patient, resilient, and durable. There are few animals capable of running the distances that humans can, and that’s because our hunting strategy was to outlast our prey. We’d track animals until they got too tired to escape. It’s a gritty way of life, and it’s wired into each one of us.

However, because our survival is ensured by the fixings of modern life, that side of us doesn’t need to come out as often. Author Michael Easter calls this “The Comfort Crisis”. 

In his book (by the sane title) he elaborates on all of the concerns that come from our modern world: We live in temperature controlled environments when our internal systems require variation… We keep everything clean and it weakens our immune system… We’re sitting all day sedentary when our bodies need movement. 

And with all these things out of whack it’s no surprise that rates of obesity, mental health issues, and cardiovascular disease are at an all time high.

Since we don’t naturally get the things our mind and body need any more, we need to find our own outlets for it. Working from a standing desk and midday walks helps with blood flow and muscle activation throughout the day. Cold exposure through a plunge or shower kickstarts our metabolism. Getting some sunlight in the morning kickstarts our circadian rhythm, and eliminating blue light and screen time in the evening helps us wind down. 

Our natural spirit of resilience, dedication, and toughness is masked by the comforts of our modern world. Deep down we still have the same drive that propelled our species forward for millennia, it’s just not being expressed. 

We can consciously bring that side of us out when we need to every once in a while, but the real goal is that it’s infused as a spirit within everything we do. And the way to bring that forward is by intentionally doing hard things. Push yourself in a workout, get in cold water, do a breath work routine, take a bold action in business. It’s unbelievable how small consistent actions like that ignite a fire within you.

Every high-achiever who wants to be the best version of themselves is constantly battling a desire to want to do more. More experiences, more time with loved ones, more trips, more businesses, more impact initiatives, more self-care and self-awareness. And that's because making the most out of life truly involves pushing the boundary in all of these areas, and more.

The challenge is, ‘doing more’ isn’t all it’s cut out to be. While it’s good in theory, it’s different in practice. I want to offer a reality check that gives voice to the perspectives and tradeoffs that come with doing more.

First, what’s the purpose for doing more? Many people seek to do more, and become more, because they view that how much they do and who they are isn’t enough. It’s a means to filling a bottomless pit. When our day to day matches that of the person we admire, we expect to feel the same admiration for ourselves. But we bring the same belief system that sees what we’re doing today as not enough, and it comes to the same conclusions in different circumstances. 

Second, especially if you’re already fully busy, doing more of one thing requires doing less of another. It works out if you know that you’re wasting time, but if you’re not, then something needs to be pushed out in order to create space for what you’re bringing in. It’s great to want to add on a new volunteer position, but be practical about what that means for your current commitments. Something new will certainly take time from something else.

For many, that thing is sleep, which brings us to the final point - we each have a finite amount of energy. Our energetic state is most responsible for the quality we bring to the things we do. Doing more means you’re putting energy into more things, which takes energy away from everything else. That is unless you’re investing that time in life-giving activities that fuel your body and soul. 

I’ve found that when people say they want ‘more’, they really mean ‘better’. They don’t want to work more to make more money, they want to make more in less time - they want to work better. They don’t want 5 volunteer roles they’re committed to, they want one that offers more and better fulfillment. 

When we reframe the desire for growth as a pursuit of ‘better’ rather than ‘more’, our life opens up. We can actually deliver on having a more expanded life because we’re no longer operating from a finite and linear capacity. We tap into the exponential equation that life offers.

I’ve always liked the expression ‘there’s a window of opportunity’. Sometimes it can feel like we’re pushing really hard against a rock-solid wall that won’t budge. No matter what we do, or how hard we try, we don’t make any progress. 

But when the moment comes where something moves, and you punch through in the smallest of ways and see the light on the other side, it inspires you to keep going. A window of opportunity is a visual reminder that there’s a reason to be hopeful, that there’s a reason to keep pushing, and that your efforts aren’t being wasted.

To be fair... The opening you create could be really small, and it could be closing really soon. That’s why when you see your window of opportunity, you need to take full advantage of it. And here’s how:

First, you need to act fast. The second the window opens, it starts to close. The opportunity gets less and less fresh the longer you wait. So put together your next steps as quickly as possible. Now don’t completely cut corners, but done is better than perfect. Capitalizing on the enriched environment of a fresh opportunity is just as important as putting your best foot forward. 

The mistake people make is - since they’ve been trying for so long to create an opportunity, they want their next step to be perfect. They’ve only got one shot. But that keeps them hesitating and delaying taking action, which really hurts their chances.

That’s why it’s important to be ready. Be proactive about putting thought into how things would work, or what you’d need to have prepared when the opportunity presents itself. There’s a quote that goes “You don’t need to get ready if you stay ready.” It’s that level of preparedness that will help you to take fast, high-quality action when the window opens up. 

And second, think bigger. When you deliver quickly on something that is high quality and way more than what was expected, it makes an impression. Don’t just send a follow up email - make a custom demo. Work fast to overdeliver because it sets the pace for what comes next. 

Here’s my experience with this last week. Over the course of the last 11 months I’ve been working on creating a collaboration with Jesse Itzler. I’ve attended his events, offered insights, even ran a marathon with a custom flag that had his life mantras on it. The wall wouldn’t budge. No window.

Then after another one-off email, I got a response saying he’s interested to hear more about what I have in mind. I don’t need to build the case, do research, or figure out the best way to present this opportunity. I’ve been ready for this for 11 months. So I turned around a highly-thoughtful follow up video that outlines how everything would work, fully-customized, and sent it over within 24 hours.

That’s how you seize your window of opportunity. The work doesn’t start when the window opens. It starts now as you prepare for the small chance that you get an opportunity. It can come at any time, and you need to make sure you’re ready for it.

You’ve probably heard this excuse before and made it more times than you’d like to admit: “I’ll do it later.”

Need to wash the dishes? “I’ll do it after this show is over”.

Have to follow up with a government agency to straighten something out? “I’ll do it later this week on a day that isn’t so ridiculously busy”.

Planning to workout first thing in the morning? “I’ll do it after work today, I’m too tired right now.”

We all know how this ends - You watch TV late and have a bunch of chores to do, so the dishes way until tomorrow. Later in the week your day is just as ridiculously busy as before and you still feel you don’t have time to make the phone call. If you thought out were tired in the morning you’re completely wiped at the end of a work day and feel even less likely to get a workout in.

Here’s the thing about ‘later’… It’s like ‘tomorrow’. It never comes. It’s permanently pushed off into the future. 

For whatever reason, we underestimate our future capacity. We sense that work will slow down someday soon, but new things get added to your plate. We think we’ll have more energy or motivation in a future moment. But when reality catches it’s just more of the same. So here are a few things you can do to actually follow through on the things that are important to you.

Eckhart Tolle wrote a book called “The Power Of Now”. The only time you can genuinely impact is the present moment. David Meltzer often says “100% of the things you do now get done” and that’s because you’re operating in a timeframe that you have control of - the present moment. So when possible, leverage it.

Outside of doing the thing right then and there, you can take action in such a way that supports you in doing said 'thing' in the future. Here's my process for that: If there’s a new idea that comes to mind or task that needs to get done, I capture it in my Task Management System. I don’t let myself get pulled too far out of my way, but I do take a moment to capture the thought or task in a centralized place. Then every evening as part of my wind down routine, I review all of the things I added over the course of the day and organize them so that I understand their level of urgency and importance.

Here’s why that’s helpful: ‘Later’ is undefined, and that’s why it never comes. There are no specific details to it. However, when you plan something for a future day or time, the calendar catches up. Doing something ‘later’ is different than scheduling it for the future. That’s why I create a schedule for the day. I take all of the things that I have on my list, review them, select the tasks that are most important to get done, and assign them a day and time by putting them in my schedule.

Being more productive on any given day is pretty straightforward - Spend more of your time doing more of the right things. All that requires is more intention and focus. In most cases you need to plan your day to maximize it. It gives you a definite direction to an otherwise aimless intention. So don’t do it late. Do it now, or plan it for the near future so that when the day and time comes, you do it then.

Awareness is arguably one of the most important elements to creating life change. If you don’t know that something’s happening, then you can’t stop it. If don’t know the consequences of an action, you wouldn’t think to question if it’s the right thing to do. If you don’t know what all of your options are, you can’t confidently pick the right one.

Awareness is closely connected to the idea of consciousness. When we’re acting consciously, it means that we’re acting thoughtfully and purposefully with an understanding of the outcomes. When we act unconsciously, we’re doing so without awareness and therefore, are incapable of intervening and the pattern continues.

It’s for all these reasons that increasing your level of awareness (or consciousness) is one of the primary pursuits of personal development. And not just from an enlightenment standpoint through meditation, but as a way to better understand the landscape so that you can operate more optimally within it.

Now here’s an important question… What’s your system for cultivating more awareness?

The truth is there’s a system underlying everything, governing what’s happening behind the scenes. Some people build habits that function as systems, like a journaling practice to slowly reflect and review their day.

Some people have a spontaneous system of asking for feedback from others who will point out blindspots and unknown weaknesses.

And some people haven’t created a system, which means they inherit the one that we all get by default - positive emotions like joy and fulfillment, and negative emotions like anger and stress, that serve as timely indicators that something’s happening.

If awareness is so critical to our growth, it’s irresponsible to not have a highly-effective awareness generating system integrated into our daily routine. If we are serious about maximizing our potential then we should be proactive about seeking out the details we’re missing so that we can make more informed decisions.

If I’m being honest, in everything I’ve done for my self-improvement, doing exactly this is what most changed my life.

I fixed my midday fatigue because I started tracking my sleep and learned that I was averaging under 7 hours a night. I started completing projects faster, and with less stress, because I started planning each next step in advance and reviewing my progress daily. I set the intention to take bigger and bolder action every day, and I started doing it because I had to report back on it every day, and new opportunities started flooding in.

For years I was operating on assumptions thinking I was doing enough to make progress on my goals, but then wasn’t getting any traction. It was frustrating because I was reading books and learning all the right things, but still wasn’t getting any of the improvement. I was putting way more in than I was getting out.

And that’s because I had maxed out my previous system of awareness. I wanted to go faster but my engine was already going at max speed. When I upgraded my engine, aka increased my foundational system of awareness, the invisible blockers were removed and I started accelerating.

Now I'm making progress so much faster and actually hitting my goals. It took me a decade of trial and error to get to this point, but if you’re interested to upgrade your foundational system of awareness, then check out the 21 Day Super Habits Challenge.

It’ll change your life... And you’ll start seeing the results and success you’ve always known you’re capable of.

Wired into me is a deep desire to make an impact in the world, and one of the ways I’m seeking to do that is by leading a campaign called New Year For Good. It’s a fundraiser for charity where I partner with influencers with massive followings, build a New Year Challenge for them for free, and we sell it to their audience and donate every dollar to charity. 

For months I’ve been hustling to open doors and establish connections with influential partners, and my most recent attempt backfired pretty bad. I got blatantly rejected.

The story is: I took a redeye flight last Wednesday night for a happy hour Thursday evening, then traveled home all day Friday. And it was primarily to meet one particular person who’s an ideal partner for this charitable campaign. We’ve been in touch for years and mutually supportive of each other, we had been emailing back and forth as recently as the previous week trying to coordinate a time to chat about collaborating, and I figured that showing up in person would be a great way to accelerate things. 

However, at the event when I saw her and introduced myself to her for the first time in person, she had no idea who I was. And after explaining our history, our recent emails, and how she even introduced me to the person who was coordinating the event we were at, I got the sense that she had no interest to learn who I was. It was a quick and disappointing encounter.

About an hour later after she had settled in more, I went to speak with her again and had a little more time. It was awkward, I stumbled over my words trying to establish any type of connection with her, and she was hardly responsive. I even gave her a small but thoughtful gift, and it didn’t seem to land. 

I’m not sharing this to villianize this woman. I deeply believe in what she’s doing and will continue to support her. My intention is to share the way I’m processing this personal experience with rejection.

I spent half a day preparing for my conversation with her, a day and a half traveling away from home, and a few hundred dollars for this opportunity - just to completely fumble the opportunity.

Did it sting? Oh ya. But am I going to let it weigh me down? Not a chance.

Showing up without notice was a big and bold move, and one that I’ll learn from. But what I realize is, you need to take big swings if you want to achieve big results. When you take a swing, you risk missing the ball. When you put yourself out there and aggressively pursue what you want, there’s a chance you get rejected. 

And while there are many things I’d do differently the next time I attempt something like this, I’m not going to let this experience keep me from trying. I’m actually fired up about it because now I have this story. Now I have this personal example I can lean on the next time a big idea doesn’t pan out. Because it will help me take bigger and better swings. And I hope the same for you.

One of the hardest things to be clear on in life is knowing what ‘enough’ is.

What’s enough money to be making, enough influence to have, enough life experiences to feel like you made the most out of life?

Each person’s answer is deeply personal and highly specific to the context of their life. And that’s why it’s so hard to feel confident that your needs are met, and that you have enough.

Layer onto that the additional complexity that ‘enough’ can mean two different things: One definition being about sufficiency and completeness, and the other about tolerating what’s still not ideal.

That’s why I was so interested to hear Larry Kesslin’s “Enough Equation”, a formula for knowing that you’ve achieved the level of wholeness your soul is seeking. This is what Larry had to say about it:

“Enough Academy for me is about when we have enough, what’s our responsibility back to society. And I don’t think we teach that. So I came up with this ‘Enough Equation’, and the idea of ‘enough’ is killed by comparison. So you’ll never have enough if you compare yourself to somebody who has so much more.

But in the numerator of the ‘Enough Equation’ is being. It starts with being. Being authentic. Plus giving, Giving intentionally without knowing what the outcome of the giving will be. Or just giving for the reason you want to give.

And the last piece is ‘having’. So when we understand the difference between a want and a need, that’s the idea of ‘having’ for me. Having what we need, not what we want.


(Being + Giving + Having) / Comparison = The Enough Equation.”

Let me add my extra breakdown:

Being is about feeling aligned, you’ll never feel complete if you’re not being yourself.

Giving is about purpose, and the fulfillment that comes from connecting to something higher than yourself.

Having what we need rather than what we want is a big differentiator, because there will always be more to want.

And then comparison puts into question  if the extent of your being, giving, and having is satisfactory - which has the potential to disqualify your significance.

If anything, take this as another reminder to live your life by your own rules, and if you must compete, compete with yourself.

This is a snippet from my conversation with Larry about his most recent book, ‘The Joy Molecule’, you can watch the full interview here!