One of the most important elements of our personal development is clarity.

In our efforts to improve our lives and contribute to the world, we’re only fractionally effective if we don’t have clarity. Knowing what result you want to create, what strategies to employ in creating it, and what tactics execute the strategy are critical to maximizing the impact. 

Having said that, let’s be practical of the fact that you can never have 100% clarity. We’re always limited by our awareness and our task is to do our best with the context and information we’re given.

However, when you know what you’re working toward and you’re clear on how you’re going to make progress on it, it gives you confidence. Maybe you’re not placing the perfectly right bet, or maybe there are some things that you don’t know to consider, but clarity helps you make a decision you believe in.

It reminds me of what Tom Bilyeu of Impact Theory says:  “When you’re presented with 1000 open doors, it’s your job to know which 999 to close.”

While you don’t know perfectly well what’s on the other side of any of those doors, you’re making a confident decision that you believe maximizes the likelihood of getting the desired result.

To gain clarity on anything the most important question to ask is “What do I want?” 

To get clear on questions you have about a romantic relationship, to understand if the sacrifices you’re making for your work are worth it, as you’re debating whether to choose fries or salad…

“What do I want?”

And not just the immediate ‘want’ but the long term, full-life vision of what you want for your life. Every time you take a disciplined and faithful step toward that, it reinforces your belief and confidence.

If that long term vision is too hard to see, then you can start with using inversion and identifying what you don’t want, and use the process of elimination.

Clarity starts with the self-awareness of knowing what you want, transfers into knowing how to create it, and requires follow through so that it’s more likely to happen. When you have all that in place, it instills confidence.

Do you have clarity on how you want to spend your time? Watch the Replay of the live session I created about building your Ideal Daily Design. It will help you strike that perfect balance and support you in being more consistent in your health routines, more dialed in during your working hours, and more present with your loved ones.

This very popular quote inspires me deeply. It’s about how we must not limit ourselves to accommodate our own fears and insecurities. 

Throughout my life I felt like I’ve permitted myself to not be as bold or loud as I could have been, and it has come at a cost. I haven’t been able to give the world all that I have to offer.

That’s unacceptable, but now since I know better I’m committed to doing better. And I hope the same for you.

The quote I’ve been referencing comes from Marianne Williamson, and it goes as follows:

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“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

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What this quote suggests is how we think that diminishing ourselves serves others because it makes them feel less bad about themselves, but the reality is when we model excellence and full self-expression it inspires others to be better themselves. 

And I’ve found that this limiting story is entirely self-sabotage. It’s a convenient rationalization that keeps you in the confines of your comfort zone. It convinces you to not make waves in the world because your success threatens others.

“Your playing small does not serve the world.” 

So quit playing small! What does playing big look like? What would you commit to? What would change?

Allow yourself to picture that possibility and if you’re courageous enough, choose it today.

Something that kills dreams and stalls people on their pursuit to becoming the best version of themselves is comparison. We live in a world where we can see the best parts of everyone’s life and it makes us question the quality of our own.

Our need to compare ourselves to others actually has evolutionary roots.

As a social species it was critical that we could assess our relative placement within our tribe. The quick metric we use to calculate that is an evaluation of power, which is a combination of physical prowess, strength of community, and attractiveness.

Perhaps that’s why so many of the world’s problems come back to people doing unethical things to obtain it…

Knowing this mechanism is in place, let’s find a more constructive and healthy way to utilize comparison by expressing it internally. This means we compete with ourselves and stop discrediting our performance because it doesn’t stand up to someone else’s.

You can’t fall behind in your own race.

When you define what winning and losing is, and make the unit of comparison your previous best or a reflection of your own effort, now you’ve created a fair playing field. And doing so requires advanced intention so that you can make an accurate comparison rather than try to see if after the fact.

And in life, I think we should be racing! There are problems to solve, memories to make, and good to be shared. We should apply ourselves fully to it. But we should be going at our pace, for our reasons, on our accord.

Rather than feeling bad about yourself that you are not living up to the ‘doing it all’ example you see in other people, how about you figure out what’s practical for you! Because comparing to others neglects all of the conditions and circumstances that are so important to consider.

And your first step to creating the fair but maximized version that represents YOUR best, not anyone else’s, is registering for the Ideal Daily Design Workshop. In one hour I walk you through an exercise that helps you set up you optimal life balance where you figure out how to integrate your career, your responsibilities, and your self-care in a harmonized way.

You can register for the Workshop here!

I find there are 3 limiting beliefs that constantly come up for busy professionals, keeping them stuck at a level of career and personal success that is falling short of their full potential.

This is particularly true for professionals with big career ambitions (who really want to make their mark on the world!) and have big personal responsibilities (like providing for their families)...

Limiting belief #1 - Time on self-care takes away from time doing other things.

This is often mistaken because we all have only 24 hours in a day, and time doing anything means you forfeit spending that time doing anything else, right?

That doesn’t give the full picture. What’s more important than the quantity of time we spend on something is the quality of time we spend. It’s more appropriate to see time spent exercising, or on your self-care, as an investment. Prioritizing your health and energy means that you can focus better on everything else, which overall produces more output and better results.

Limiting belief #2 - A better life is more productive.

I believe productivity is improperly defined, and misunderstanding the true meaning of it causes us to compulsively seek to do more. A more productive day means we did a lot of things…

But truly exceptional, high-quality days aren’t optimized for productivity. They’re designed for intentionality. It’s not just doing more things, it’s doing more of the right things that produce the highest leverage results in our work, health, and life. That’s what we actually want when we seek to be more productive, so pursue it directly.

Limiting belief #3 - I just can’t do it all.

Many people get hung up on comparing things to how they used to be - their level of fitness, number of hobbies, time spent with friends… And they get discouraged because they’re falling short of the standard they have for themself.

The more accurate truth is that people can’t do it like they used to, and it’s true! But they’re not meant to.

Priorities change. Life evolves.

And rather than trying to be the person they used to be in a previous environment, they need to update their expectations for themselves so that they’re fair to the realities of the present. This helps them align on the version of ‘doing it all’ that fits with this chapter of their life.

And here’s an opportunity to get support with all of it!

For those who want to be prolific in their career, improve their health, and maximize their life, it all starts with establishing an ideal daily design that allows you to integrate all aspects of your life into one cohesive plan.

And that’s exactly what I help you to do in the hour long Ideal Daily Design Workshop. Register today because we're going live on Thursday!

Many people in their personal development focus on building new habits and taking new action to change their life. I very much agree with the idea that actions generate results, but perhaps our effort isn’t best applied to the action itself.

There’s something else that provides more effective and sustainable intervention, and it’s part of an ongoing cycle. And that thing is ‘systems’.

A system is a procedure or sequence of events that reliably leads to a certain output. Whether we realize it or not, systems run our lives behind the scene leading us into action as part of our environment.

For that reason, 'systems make people' and shape us into who we become. Built into human nature is a predisposition to take the path of least resistance. Systems are designed to maximize output for any given input, creating as little waste as possible, and therefore serve as the path to least resistance.

How do systems get there in the first place? People create them.

In order to achieve a certain result, or in response to a certain circumstance, systems are put in place to make our lives more predictable. Sometimes we architect systems unconsciously, and sometimes we build them with a specific purpose in mind. In either case, they’re implemented by people (or groups of people) to set the environment.

Systems make people, people make systems. That’s the cycle.

And if you’re looking to change your life, I’d recommend thinking about the baseline system that needs to be developed in order to get more consistent, or pull yourself into taking compelling action.

It’s not just getting in the habit of exercising, but having a plan for what workouts you’re going to do on what days.  That’s a system.

It’s not just trying to make your relationship more of a priority in your life, it’s creating a standard monthly check in process to voice any concerns or opportunities for more intimacy. That’s a system.

Think about the habits of course, but know that the real action step is to build the system that creates the habit and you’ll really start to get results!

The main system that dictates our overall life-balance, our productivity level, and our ability to prioritize our self-care is having a detailed schedule that incorporates it all.

If you want to create new awareness around how you can do it all, and build a system that supports it, register for the Ideal Daily Design Workshop I’m leading.

It's free to attend!

My mentor Jim Bunch shared a line with me that has been tattooed into my brain ever since the moment he said it: “Live by design, not by default.”

As a species, one of our greatest assets is how adaptable we are. We can survive and succeed in so many different ways. But since we can make it by in so many different conditions, we forget to think about the conditions we want in life.

A life by default is the one that settles in based on natural rhythms. It’s allowing the environments we’re exposed to completely dictate the direction of our lives. We don’t have agency in this type of life and are tasked to react to what’s given.

A life by design is one that understands that we’re in control of our future and what happens to us. Rather than being at the whim of environments, we can make intentional adjustments to our environment so that they have a positive influence on us and support us in getting where we want to go.

A life by design is proactive in that you have a clear vision for what you want and you take action to make it so. There’s an infinite amount of possibilities available to us in our life, and we can hand select which ones we want to experience. We can choose the ones that give us the most joy, fulfillment, and life.

Taking the job that fell in your lap is life by default. Knocking on doors, putting yourself out there, improving your skills, and stating your value attracts your dream job by design.

Feeling like you’re overstressed, overworked, and inconsistent in your health habits is a life by default, reactive to what everyone else wants around you. Creating stronger routines, putting up boundaries, and enrolling yourself in a healthy vision for your life gets you in better shape while getting more work done, by design.

The realities of your life are not a reflection of you, they’re a reflection of your design. And if you know you’ve got more in the tank, aren’t you unhappy with just letting life run you?

Let’s change that! I’m leading a free, hour long workshop where I help you build out your Ideal Daily Design. You’ll be surprised to see how you’re just a few tweaks away from making your health a priority, having a personal life, excelling in your work, and feeling on fire with full and productive days!

Register for the workshop here!

I can’t remember the last time I ate at a Burger King, but I’m a fan of their long-time catch phrase! In a world that can be overly selfish at times, it was a welcome reminder that each one of us matters and deserves to be cared for.

The catch phrase was “Have it your way”.

We don’t need to settle for things how they are... We can create a new reality for ourselves.

We don’t need to diminish ourselves at the expense of others... We can pursue our fullest ambitions with pride. It’s a message of empowerment that we can change our future if we have the courage to do so.

For those of us with good intentions, having it ‘our way’ is actually what’s best for everyone. When we enforce better boundaries at work we can maximize our contribution to the project. When we insist on eating healthy in a social setting, we’re not inconveniencing others but we’re helping them make better choices themselves.

Being selfish in investing in yourself actually becomes one of the most selfless things you could do because it creates the greatest impact on others.

If you’re overstretched at work and compromising your own health, that’s not having it your way.

If you don’t have as much time for the things and people you love, or the energy to do anything at the end of a long day, that’s not having it your way.

But fortunately you can make small adjustments to how you do things that completely change your life reality. A change of plan, or reordering priorities, or making a commitment all start to shape your life your way.

Honestly, the main thing keeping people from balancing their personal life, career, and passions in a way that they feel good about is simply figuring out how it all fits together.

And if there's opportunity for you to get more consistent with the things you know you should be doing... I want to help you with it!

Next week I’m hosting a free life-design workshop where I help you see your day to day beyond how it is and explore how it can be! It’s profound how radically you can improve your life with a new design, with a new perspective, and a commitment to a new plan.

I just opened registration for this Ideal Daily Design workshop - Sign up for free live and replay access!

Tim Ferris has a great philosophy I want to elaborate on with you. He says “It’s more effective to act your way into a new way of thinking than think your way into a new way of acting.”

It rests on a foundational framework I talk a lot about called the Identity Behavior Feedback Loop.

One of the most reliable ways to upgrade our belief system is by taking consistent action. It’s the evidence of your action that causes your unconscious mind to update your beliefs.

James Clear says “every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become”. And it’s through this shift in belief that we change our baseline way of thinking.

The opposite approach, thinking our way into acting differently, is a constant struggle. How easy is it to convince ourselves that we’re going to be a healthier, more focused, more discipline person, but then very quickly even our best intentions fall off fast.

That’s because there’s a lot of resistance between new ideas and following through on them. If it were that easy we’d be doing it constantly.

That’s why being self-disciplined is a foundational mindset. Cultivate that belief first and it will support you in taking the actions necessary to upgrade other beliefs.

And here’s a pro tip - The way you do that is by finding one thing that’s easy to do but you can do consistently, and every day when you successfully complete it, you reenforce the belief by saying “That’s like me, I’m self-disciplined”.

That’s exactly what I teach you to do in my subconscious audio program called Discipline On Demand, which is one of the 9 Super Habits in the 21 Day Challenge.

Expanding on what Ferris says one step and likening ‘thinking’ to ‘feeling’, the premise of “mood follows action” is also true. If you want to feel energized, happy, focused, etc - Your first step is to take action as if you were and you’ll start to genuinely feel that way.

As much as we’d like to turn it off, it’s human nature to be judgmental.

In fact it’s hardwired into us evolutionarily because it helped early humans to figure out their spot in the tribe. Without proper judgment we might have been outcasted, threatening our safety and survival.

But in modern society, judgment doesn’t play quite the same role and causes us to be less friendly, less self-confident, and more unnecessarily critical of others.

To combat this, there’s a more human-centric approach I learned from Lindsey Fuller, a phenomenal nonprofit leader at 'The Teaching Well', that helps flip judgment into curiosity.

If someone acts out in an unexpected, inappropriate or insensitive way, rather than thinking “Why are they like this?”, you can ask the question “What happened to them?”

And it’s not meant to explain their flaws with a condescending tone… It’s meant to be an invitation to explore what made them who they are.

The shift in focus takes the attention away from someone’s character (Why are YOU like this?) and makes it about what they've experienced. This respectfully acknowledges the value and goodness of the self while seeking to understand its present expression of choice.

When we do this we see people as human beings first and don’t just judge their doings. We all find ourselves in situations that make us emotional, trigger unhealthy patterns, or pull us out of alignment. Recognizing the same in others helps us best support them and the uniqueness they have to offer the world.