There are some things that we procrastinate on, delay doing, and avoid unlike anything else. The longer we wait, the more anticipation builds making whatever it is feel insurmountable. This is true for things like doing a cold plunge or taking a cold shower, getting around to doing your taxes, or beginning a difficult conversation.

But the truth of it is, we overestimate how much these things are going to hurt, or how frustrating they’re going to be, or how uncomfortable it might make us. Our minds create a perception that what we’re about to do is a bigger deal than it is, and it keeps us stuck in inaction.

In my experience, I’ve found that it’s not as bad once you start. A cold plunge was colder and more painful in your head than it is when you’re actually in it. Taxes are way more confusing when you’re thinking about them rather than in the thick of doing them. A difficult conversation is way more constructive and natural than you expected it to be.

The reason it's not as bad once you start is because there’s a shift in intention. No longer are you negotiating with yourself about if or when you’re going to do the thing, and instead you start investing yourself in how you’re going to do the thing. ‘If’ creates an uncertainty where your mind gets to fill in the blank with a worst case scenario, but ‘how’ means you’re in the experience of it and there’s less up to interpretation.

Metaphorically it’s like hiking up a mountain. At the bottom as you’re about to start, you look up and see how daunting it is. But once you’re actually hiking, you just have to take it one step at a time. There’s an exaggerated expectation of how hard it’s going to be at the beginning that gets put in its place once you get started.

And rightfully so, that’s why the hardest part of anything is to start. I do a lot of Spartan Races, which are like Tough Mudders with obstacles and barriers, and they say “The hardest part about running a Spartan Race is getting to the starting line.” More dreams die from the fear people experience before getting started than from being incapable of doing it.

So for that thing that feels too big for you, that you don’t feel prepared for, you’ll never feel fully ready for it. And, the fastest way to feel more confident is to begin and you’ll realize, it’s not as hard as you made it out to be in your mind.

It’s not as bad once you start, so get to it! Otherwise you’re choosing to sit in the pain.

Back in 2019, I set the intention to connect with a person who has now become one of my foremost mentors, David Meltzer. I had heard him on a friend’s podcast and instantly felt attracted to his message of abundance, spirituality, and business influence. I started following him on Instagram and as the Algorithm Gods would have it, only a few weeks later I heard him announce that he was hosting a meet up in my city in just a few days. Seeing this as an opportunity, I changed my travel plans so that I could be at the meet up and connect with him in person.

I’m the type of person where if you give me an inch, I take a mile. So after meeting him in a group setting I hustled to walk with him to his next commitment and got to speak with him 1 on 1, quickly share a bit more about myself, and coordinated more time with him later that day. When we linked up then, and not so rushed, we had an exchange in our conversation that I’ll never forget.

I said “I really admire you, what you’ve built, and how you show up in the world.” And to that he responded “Don’t admire me, be inspired by me.”

He didn’t explain the difference, but he didn’t have to. When you admire someone, you see them as separate from you. That you couldn’t dream of achieving the same level of notoriety, success, or whatever it is you admire about them. It’s fawning over them that makes them feel untouchable, and it creates more distance between you and your dream. It keeps you from even trying because you feel like you’re so far from what you see in them.

But when you’re inspired by someone, you see their success as a model for your own. You take encouragement from their example and see that your dreams are possible because they made their dreams come true. Inspiration is uplifting and works as a much more actionable energy that drives you closer to what you want rather than pull you away.

This is exactly what David Meltzer wants. His personal mission is to inspire 1000 people to inspire 1000 people to inspire 1000 people to be happy. That way he plays a part in 1 billion people being happy. And every time I see him I tell him “I’m 1 of your 1000” because I feel the way he invests in me, and offers me advantages that I can use to further my mission and in turn his.

Admiration works kind of like jealousy - it gives you insight into what you care about and what you want. Otherwise you wouldn’t feel a certain way about it. But don’t let it end there and feel empty in your efforts to make your dreams come true, alchemize it into inspiration that drives you forward as you realize your mission in the world.

One of the things that makes life harder than it needs to be is stress. Finances, difficult situations, and our day to day demands pulling us beyond our capacity all add stress to our lives.

Originally, our body’s evolved to have a stress response so that we can escape from imminent danger. Stress is meant to be adaptive and advantageous. But in today’s world our stress response is activated in new ways that don’t actually threaten our safety. Our minds are misinterpreting the events of modern life and creating reasons to be stressed that don’t align with stress’ intended purpose. 

And it’s doing more harm than good. Not only does stress erode our health but it clouds our judgment and causes us to take action in ways that add on more to be stressed about rather than relieve us of it. That’s why I want to share 3 steps to move through feeling stressed and overwhelmed. 

1. Take 6 slow deep breaths.
   
   Physiologically, our stress response activates the sympathetic nervous system. This sends a rush of cortisol (also known as adrenaline) through our body preparing us for fight or flight. It’s in this state that the human mind goes into survival mode, making choices that are helpful in the moment but have long-term unintended consequences. But 6 slow deep breaths turns the sympathetic nervous system off, immediately makes us feel less stressed, and helps us move forward with a clear mind that isn’t being hijacked by panic and overwhelm.
   
   
2. Identify the sources of your stress.
   
   It’s within this more thoughtful, controlled headspace that you can start to examine what’s causing you stress. The road to feeling less emotional starts with knowing exactly what is causing the stress. Is it fear, uncertainty, sadness, strain, or something else? It doesn’t need to be this underlying chronic feeling… It can be something that’s understood as a response to something specific. Listen to how you feel and figure out what the source of it is.
   
   
3. Determine what’s within your control and what’s not.
   
   Once you’ve identified the source, now it’s time to figure out what you can do about it. The reality is your stress response was triggered by an event in your life. The way through that response is by changing the way you relate with that event, and the way you respond to it. There are some elements of the situation that are out of your control, and there are elements that you can do something about. By separating the two you can determine what’s worth your energy. It’s the Serenity Prayer: “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference"”

Part of what makes things so stressful is they’re uncertain. You don’t know how things are going to resolve, and what that means for the well-being of yourself and your loved ones. It carries an energy of fear that the worst could happen. But when you know what you can do to impact the situation, you sprinkle in some hope.

That’s not to say that the stress goes away, but it starts to feel more manageable. You aren’t at the mercy of everything around you but you can influence what happens. And it’s with this sense of agency that you take productive actions that actually begin to make progress on the problem that’s causing you stress.

Be patient with yourself, know that it’s normal and it’s not the end of the world. Life might deal you difficult hand but you get to choose how you play it. All you can do your best - You got this!

When you think about someone who has really good habits, what comes to mind? Maybe it’s someone who does their morning routine every single day, which includes meditation, journaling, and some stretching. Or maybe it’s someone who completes their checklist, gets their email inbox to zero, and updates their to do list at the end of a work day. 

No matter the case, it’s likely that you see someone who has good habits as being really consistent on a daily basis. But why do habits need to be done daily? When we open our minds to seeing habits existing on different intervals, we realize how much more doable it is to stay consistent, and how many more opportunities there are to get into good habits.

What this suggests is that a habit doesn’t need to be done daily… It just needs to be done with reliable consistency. And consistency can exist on any interval of time. Yes you can do things daily, but you can also do them weekly, monthly, yearly, every other day, every other week, every 10 days, every 6 weeks, only on Mondays and Fridays, every 3 hours… The options are truly endless.

I have many good daily habits. I do some version of my morning routine, fill out my Self Improvement Scorecard every day, email my grandma, and do at least one session of Duolingo (among many other things) every day.

But I also have habits done consistently on different time intervals. I call my Dad on Fridays, have time on Tuesdays and Thursdays dedicated to follow ups for my business, I do a weekly relationship review with my wife, I do monthly strategic business planning and accounting, I go to the grocery store once a week to get fresh produce after a workout, and I use my standing desk when I take meetings throughout the day. All are good habits that contribute to my goals, and I do them all consistently but with different frequencies.

And while we're at it, here's another perspective - Consistency can even be situational and contextual. For example, I don’t really watch TV but can get caught up in it when I’m visiting my Mom, so I’m in the habit of leaving the room by 9 pm. Habits aren’t something you do all the time, but something you can count on doing when they need to get done.

At the end of the day, we want good habits for one reason - To get consistent doing the things that most generate the results we want in our lives. And those critical actions can be taken however much that you feel is most doable or most serves you.

It might be more natural for you to think about this through the lens of building good routines. Routines don’t need to be done daily, but they’re most useful when done with a reliable consistency. There’s a level of intentionality that goes into what the routine is for, what the action steps are, and how often you want to complete it. Habits benefit from the same level of thoughtfulness.

So try throwing away this bias that habits need to be done daily, that it can only be considered ‘consistent’ if it happens every day. Embrace the full spectrum that our actions take and cultivate the right habits, on the right intervals, that fuel your life. That’s not to say you can’t have daily habits, but know there’s a lot more to it, and oftentimes cultivating habits that exist on a different time interval is a good place to start.

It’s human nature to follow the crowd. We trust restaurants more people are sitting at, go down roads we see other people turn on, and make choices that don’t draw attention to ourselves. We have an unconscious bias toward it and in many ways, it steers our life.

But here’s something to consider: Just because something is common doesn’t mean it’s normal. And the difference is subtle…

If something is common, it means that it happens a lot. It’s the exposure to the many instances of this thing happening that makes it common. It’s common to get divorced, be overweight, get less than 7 hours of sleep, and not like what you do for work.

But that doesn’t mean it’s normal. When something is normal it means that it’s the way it’s intended to be. Normal doesn’t deviate too far from how things are supposed to go. Normal isn’t an outlier or noteworthy. 

And the problem is normal has become uncommon. A long and healthy marriage is now considered to be an exception to the rule. Many people are overweight but that’s not how the human body is intended to work. We’re not supposed to be unhappy and stressed in our work, it’s meant to be something we find meaning and purpose in.

These days, following the crowd gets us doing common things that lead to not normal results. And many people have no awareness to question it because they’ve chosen to accept the abnormal, unhealthy, poor lifestyle that comes with it. This thought is captured well in what Jiddu Krishnamurti says “It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society.

To set yourself on the right path, be uncommon. Do things your way, the way you know they need to be done and not the way everyone else is doing it. Challenge the assumptions you have about the world to broaden your understanding.

When you live an uncommon life, not everyone is going to understand. They don’t see the harm in having a few bites of greasy appetizers or indulging in dessert, but you prioritizing your nutrition will help you keep your body fueled instead of fat. They might give you a hard time when you decline an invitation to something fun, but they aren’t thinking through the added pressure it puts on a relationship to be out of the house so often.

Question the common path because if you look around, you’ll see where it’s headed. And for many it’s a level of financial strain, unhealthiness, lack of deep relationships and lack of purpose that make many people less happy than they could be.

But not you, not us! Keep doing the work and you’ll be one of the few who feels inspired by how they’re maximizing their potential every day.

One of the things that I desire most in my life right now is to feel more alive. To feel the buzz, excitement, and thrill of stretching my capacity and experiencing new things. Bridget Hilton wrote a book called “Experiential Billionaire” and has a life mantra that goes “I’m on a living spree” and I’ve been enjoying leaning into that. 

It might be self-evident, but the basic idea is that instead of being on a ‘spending spree’ and buying a lot of things for yourself, you can be on a ‘living spree’ where you’re off finding more adventures and experiences that give you life. Perhaps that’s part of the reason why I’m going to be in Cancun, Scottsdale, Puerto Rico, Japan, South Korea, and Lake Tahoe for the better part of the next few months…

And while my travel plans will lead to big moments and experiences that are very meaningful, there’s also a spirit of everyday living that anyone can take into their life, at home or abroad. Things like trying new foods, exploring nature, a hard workout, striking up conversation with strangers, getting in some cold water, joining local meet ups, talking a bigger game, deeper connections with loved ones, being involved in initiatives that align with your passions… It all gives you a little taste of what more life feels like.

So many of us are focused on being really healthy so that we can add more years to our lives… But how about we also add more life to our years? More moments, more stories, more unrestrained freedom. We have daily practices that microdose wellness, why can’t we microdose moments that make us feel more alive?

The thing that keeps us from it is the status quo. The way we do things know is comfortable and psychologically safe. If we keep doing the same things then we don’t need to worry what people might think of us, what criticisms they might have, or what insecurities they might project onto us when we live a bolder life. And if we keep doing the same things then we won’t put ourselves in situations that make us afraid, or that might make us look stupid, or where we might fail.

But if you’re like me and you want to make the absolute most out of life… That’s something we cannot accept! At the end of the day the only person you need to worry about is you. And as amazing as friends, family, colleagues, and loved ones are, there’s a reason why the number 1 regret of the dying is that people “wish they had lived a life true to themselves, not the life others expected from them”. You coming fully alive threatens their decision to accept a life that’s just good enough.

We don’t want ordinary, we want extraordinary! And in my opinion, one of the surest paths to cultivating the spirit of living all out is to microdose things that make you feel more alive, in small ways, on a daily basis. 

It will help you build momentum and live in a way that you’re proud of, that’s authentic to you, and that you feel is the purest expression of yourself. So let me charge you with this - what’s one everyday moment that you can turn into a moment that makes you feel more alive? The next time you encounter it, show up with more life, and see if you like it.