I had a deeply inspiring conversation with a new friend and nonprofit leader named Ariel Moore. Ariel got into the story that has brought her to the work she does today, supporting people in recovery and giving them the resources and humanity they need to make positive change to their life.

Her message about the topic is compelling because Ariel herself was a drug addict, squatting in a vacant lot, and squandering her life away. That was until the police came, brought her to jail, and took her child away from her.

But with years of support and dedication, she has recovered and returned to be really effective in helping people like who she used to be, because she knows what it’s like intimately well.

As she reflected on her life and circumstances, she viewed it from two different perspectives - The ‘then’ version of and the ‘now’ version of herself.

It’s a testament to how we can change as people. We all have that past version of ourselves who at some point made a bad decision, was unethical or out of integrity, or somehow existed in a way we aren’t proud of. Some people let that history control the present.

But what Ariel proves, and what’s fundamentally true, is that you can change as a person. In fact it’s expected! Our interests, morals, values, lifestyle - everything changes with time. So don’t get hung up on letting who you used to be keep you from becoming who you can be.

It’s almost helpful to see the ‘then’ version of you as a separate person. Someone else operating from a different level of awareness with different priorities and characteristics. You can’t change the ‘then’ version of you, but you can do everything about the ‘now’ version of you.

And I’ve got a feeling that who you are today has a whole lot to offer the world!

The most basic, fundamental unit that determines the trajectory of our lives is our choices. The results we get are dependent on the actions we take, and the actions we take come from the choices we make. To achieve the result of a better and more fulfilling life, we need to make better choices. 

We are constantly making choices, positive and negative, consciously and unconsciously, and each choice we make slightly alters the direction of our path. James Clear in 'Atomic Habits' demonstrates this as a tree where for every good choice we make branches up and every poor choice branches down.  Brian Johnson with Heroic calls these "+1s" and "-1s" with the intention to identify and choose the "+1" moment to moment.

That’s what it means to feel good about the choices we make. We know it’s serving our highest good. We know that what matters more is the pride we feel at the end of the day and not the pleasure of indulging in a moment. This should be the filter you use to arrive at making better choices. 

However, there are times we make choices that feel perfectly well-reasoned, only for them not to pan out and lead to negative results. A negative result doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a bad choice. We can feel good about the choices we make as long as we feel good about the intention we had with it, given the level of awareness we were at.

Our feeling of things is our own perception. The outcome of any event is dependent on the meaning we assign to it, and the same goes for our choices. So let’s have grace when we feel like we did things for the right reasons but didn’t get the result, and let’s have the discipline to try our best no matter the temptations we have or the low motivation we may feel. 

If you make choices with those two things in mind, a good intention and disciplined follow through, you’ll be set up to feel proud of the way you’re showing up in the world.

Recently I’ve been really curious about Benjamin Franklin’s philosophies. As one of the Founding Fathers of the United States of America, his commentary on the fundamentals of life are timeless. One of his quotes that you’ve probably heard before is "By failing to prepare, you're preparing to fail."

This came to mind over the weekend. Not getting political, I had a conversation with a young woman who knocked on my door wanting to talk about a candidate that’s running for office this election cycle. Wanting to reward her for the courage she had to knock on strangers doors, my intention was to make this the best conversation she had all day.

Rather than listening to her script and sending her on her way, I wanted to ask her questions and give her a real opportunity to advocate

First I asked, “What’s your favorite part about this candidate’s position and what they hope to do for the community?” She didn’t really have an answer. Then I asked “Who are they running against?” and she didn’t know the opposition’s name, but in a fluster she shared some details about this candidate that I later found were misinformed. Clearly she was underprepared and in terms of her intention to persuade me to vote for her candidate, she failed.

But I’ll bet that the second she got out of eyesight, the first thing she did was Google who the opposing candidate is. And I bet she reflected a bit on why this is important to her, and reconnected with her reasons for investing her weekend talking to strangers about politics.

I don’t judge her. I’m proud of her! She’s in it! She’s learning! By putting herself out there and exposing herself to failure, she gained an awareness of her weaknesses and knows the areas she needs to be more prepared for. There’s no faster teacher than lived experience!

Beyond complimenting her on her courage to knock door to door, I wish I would’ve asked her if she has her own aspirations to get involved in politics. To have learned more about her rather than who she was speaking on behalf of.

But that’s okay! Lesson learned on my end - Now I’m more prepared to make the most of the next conversation I have with a stranger who knocks on my door!

In college I was lucky enough to take a class from the foremost leader in gratitude research named Dr. Robert Emmons. Not only has gratitude become a cornerstone of my life, but in the class he had us read a really intriguing book that has left an impression all of these years later.

The book was titled “Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers” by Robert Sapolsky.

It’s primarily about how our evolutionary hardwirings as animals are maladapted to our current world. Built into our physiological process is a stress response that surges us with energy should we need to respond to a threat. It’s often called our ‘fight or flight instinct’ and it’s effective at keeping us alive.

However, today’s society frequently presents stimuli that activate our internal stress response. It’s not just physical danger that we feel threatened by, but everyday instances related to money, relationships, the expectations of others, and so on. 

Even though the nature of the threat is very different, the body only has one way to handle it. Our natural stress response, which is meant to be temporary and acute, has become overactive and is causing chronic health issues our bodies aren’t evolved for. Things like cardiovascular disease, accelerated aging, problems with the immune system and digestive issues.

Thus the title “Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers”.

When it comes to combating stress in life, the suggestions are simple: More exercise, mindfulness, social interaction, and focusing on things that are within our control. And even though we feel like our stress is our problem, we can engage others to help us manage our stress, and even be more thoughtful about how they impact our life so that we don’t live in such a stressful environment.

All in all, our society is extremely overstressed and our collective health is suffering as a result. It’s a public health issue, and the best way we can contribute to solving it is by modeling what healthy living looks like for others.

Hey you! Yes, YOU reading this article - You’re a really great person. The fact that you’re investing time in this right now means that you genuinely care. (Cheesy but stay with me!)

You want to be a better version of yourself, and improve the way you show up in the world. And you want to inspire others to do the same so that they can also taste what it’s like to be happy, healthy, and contributing. You have so much to offer the world and you’re dedicated to making sure the world gets to see it rather than missing out on tapping into your fullest potential.

This isn’t something I’m just guessing to be true… I know it is. But sometimes it’s hard for us to see it for ourselves.

My friend David Terzibachian taught me this framework of how we’re all in our own picture frame. As a static image we can only see the things immediately around us in 2 dimensions. But someone else can see the corners and details of the picture that you can’t, and help you fill in the blindspots that are the gaps in your own understanding.

This is a really powerful concept and I imagine it’s something that will be central to Ed Mylett’s next book, which is in progress right now, with a working title “Let Me Tell You About You”.

Now here’s something I want you to ask yourself. What’s that thing that everyone notices about you? When people introduce you to others, or comment about your character, or describe you in subtle ways… Is there a theme to what comes up?

If so, it represents the energy you’re putting off to others. And if that’s the case, it’s something that is true to your core.

But maybe you have a hard time seeing it. Some examples for me: People say that I’m really consistent, and I agree with that! That’s something I’m very aware of.

People also say I’m really genuine and authentic. That’s something I am working hard on and is very important to me, but I don’t always see of myself, so it’s helpful feedback to know that maybe it’s more integrated than I give myself credit for.

What is it for you? Think about what people are saying in front of you, and also what they might be saying about you when you’re not there. And if you’re feeling really inspired to tap into this, ask the people who are closest to you directly - “When you think about me and how I show up in the world, what are the top 5 things that come to mind?”

In fact, you could send this article forward as an invitation to have someone reflect back their perspective on you!

We don’t have all the answers. Our awareness is limited. But in pursuing more awareness and being more informed about it all, we’re better positioned to be the person we’re capable of being.

Self-efficacy is a term that maybe you’ve heard before but the true meaning of it still might be hard to pinpoint. Self efficacy is “a person's belief in their ability to perform the actions needed to achieve specific goals”.

This ability takes two forms: First is that you have the freedom to do what you want (which is called agency), and second that you have the necessary skills or experience to pull it off.

In that way, self-efficacy connects closely with self-confidence. I define self-confidence as “as your sense of belief that you’ll be able to perform in uncertain circumstances”. It’s forecasting your ability into an undetermined future moment and believing that you have what it takes to rise to the occasion. And etymologically ‘confidence’ means “intense trust”, which fits in nicely to this concept as well.

Psychologist Albert Bandura outlined that there are 4 ways to cultivate self-efficacy:

1. Reflecting on your own past successes. If you’ve done it before and proven to yourself how capable you are, it’s reason to believe you can do it again. Having personal examples of times when you’ve overcome challenges boosts your sense of belief.
2. Reflecting on other people’s successes in similar areas. Guess what? Humans are human just like you! This means that if they managed to do it, you can too. When you use other people’s successes as evidence it’s possible rather than a point of comparison to diminish yourself, you start thinking that you can do it too.
3. Encouragement from someone else. When someone else sees the potential within you that you don't see, and has a belief in you that you don’t have, it’s inspiring. Our perspective is limited by our own awareness and exposure, and often we’re too in the weeds to see the big picture. Someone else who can pull you out of that, who reminds you of how great you are and how doable this is, goes a long way.
4. And last is taking care of your own energy. Our physiology drives our psychology. If you’re dehydrated, underslept, or haven’t exercised in a while, that’s certainly going to affect your baseline energetic state, which influences your thinking. When we feel better we play better. So simply taking care of your own health improves the thoughts connected to your self-belief.

The reason this all matters is because someone who has more self-efficacy is more likely to make bolder, confident, committed choices, that lead to improved actions and better results. Our lives are built from the inside out, and one of the core drivers is our own sense of self-efficacy and self-confidence.

Need support maximizing your potential so that you can live and extraordinary life and make an extraordinary impact? Check this out!

Our unconscious mind is constantly influencing everything we do - from the choices we make, the way we feel, and the meaning we assign to different events. Last week in the same day I was aware of two instances where my unconscious mind was shaping my life behind the scenes, one good and one not so good. I'd like to share both.

First, the not so good. Every day as part of my daily goal setting system I outline my goal for the day. It’s important to me that I do it because it’s one of the criteria I use to see if I “win the day”.

Explicitly written, the goal was to record two videos. But once I recorded the first, and it took longer than it should... And it wore me out more than I expected... I started to challenge my commitment to record the second. Thoughts like “It’s not as important as the first” and “They’re both similar enough, maybe I just use the first video for the same purposes as the second”.

My mind was trying to logically convince me to not do what I committed to, and in the moment it was compelling. But I knew in reflection I’d have a different opinion, so I chose to suck it up and do it anyway. I’m glad I did.

The other, empowering example happened when I was on a run. It was the same route I normally go on but as I reached a certain part of it, the road was closed because of construction. I run in a neighborhood so there weren’t that many other places to go.

I checked my timer and I had another 2 minutes to go before turning around and heading back. The first thought that came into my mind was “It’s only a few minutes, you can turn around early” but then my mind overruled it and said “No you committed to this full workout so you’re going to do this full workout.”

It took no effort on my part to convince myself to do a loop in a cul de sac and head back down a hill, only to retrace my steps once I hit the halfway point and began my way back. In this case my mindset prevented me from considering anything less than what I was expecting, even when unexpected circumstances came up.

The lesson in both of these stories is the same - Your thoughts need to be questioned. The unconscious mind influences your rational thinking in ways that you aren’t aware of, leading you to draw conclusions you otherwise wouldn’t have. Sometimes it’s helpful, sometimes it’s not, but every time it’s there.

One of the most popular ways for businesses to align on their priorities and measure their performance is by establishing objectives and key results. Although the theory was initially created by a man named Andy Grove, it was one of his pupils John Doerr who really used these ideas to help companies like Google, leaders like Bono, and nonprofits like The Bill And Melinda Gates Foundation to succeed at the highest levels.

Objectives and key results serve as a roadmap to success. They are a mechanism to give you specific orders around what you want to achieve (objective) and what needs to happen to achieve it (key results). 

Going one layer deeper, objectives are more of an aspirational intention. They’re the mission at hand, the change you want to see in the world, that serves as a motivating rally cry for those who are working toward it. The key results are the specific, measurable milestones where you believe that in successfully hitting them, you fulfill the objective. 

The value to outlining it this way is that you get to define the game you’re playing. You get to make the rules and determine what success looks like.

An example used in John Doerr’s book “Measure What Matters” - If The Bill And Melinda Gates Foundations wants to reduce childhood mortality in developing countries (objective), then they need to Increase vaccination coverage from 80% to 90% in target regions, decrease the incidence of malaria by 30% in the next two years, and provide clean drinking water to 5 million more people (key results).

This mirrors the framework I learned from Jim Bunch that I like to use called “Goals, Strategies, and Tactics”. The goal is the overarching inspiring objective and the strategies are the key results. 

Now what’s important to mention is how in both cases, the strategy and key results are meant to orient your actions. It becomes a filter for you to pick the tactics that you think will most likely produce the key results you’re after. It keeps you focused on doing what will actually move the needle in making progress toward the change you want to see in the world.

That’s why you put all of this extra work in beforehand, it streamlines efficiency for everything else that’s to come. It’s taking carefully aligned action that really moves the world forward.