Self Improvement Daily Podcast

There’s a theory I’ve been working on for a long time, since 2020 actually, but it’s only resurfaced with new energy and fresh insight. I’m committed to changing my life, changing the world, and helping others do the same. It gives me so much joy and purpose to be a beacon for others who want to play a bigger game in their life. If, even in the smallest of ways, I can encourage someone to step up as a changemaker - that’s mission accomplished.

When you break down the etymology of the word ‘philanthropy’ it features two Greek words. ‘Philos’ means love, and ‘anthropos’ means people. This means that the truest definition of philanthropy is “a love for people”.

That’s not how most people think about philanthropy. They think that earning the title as a philanthropist is reserved for people who’ve donated large amounts of money to charities and causes. But that’s simply not the case. You are acting as a philanthropist any time you show up with a genuine concern for a person.

With that in mind, there are two ways that philanthropy surfaces in today’s world. The first is in moments. When you choose to be patient toward a spouse, loving toward someone who’s made a mistake, or present with someone that you normally wouldn’t give the time of day - you’re a philanthropist. In fact, in every moment you encounter there’s a way to bring more love, peace, patience, and presence to it. Being a philanthropist is a mindset.

Then you can also be a philanthropist in movements. This is a more formal application of your love that is meant to create a sustaining benefit to humanity. Leading or getting involved in an initiative, fundraising for a cause, and helping to overcome some injustice that exists in the world. There’s no shortage of movements to support. In fact I think we each have one inside us. A mentor of mine Adam Braun finished his book ‘The Promise Of A Pencil’ by saying “Within every single person there lies an extraordinary story waiting to unfold.” That story is your movement.

That’s what I mean when I say I’m committed to changing the world. I want to show up as an everyday philanthropist and leave people and places better than I found them. I want to get involved in projects that have real implications for how they improve others lives and well-being. I want to sacrifice a little of my own comfort to create a lot for others. It’s a movement I’m leading called For Purpose, and we’re just getting started!

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I wanted to make a minor distinction today, especially as many conversations are dominated by the radical improvements that have happened in artificial intelligence in the last few years. 

Throughout human history, people have used tools. We rubbed sticks together to create fire, used rocks to bang open nuts, created nets to capture fish, built tractors to harvest crops, and so much more. Humanity has advanced because we’ve innovated the way we do things. That’s exactly what tools are - they improve what a person can accomplish, helping them use their time and effort more efficiently.

Technology, on the other hand, is a little different. Technologies augment a person’s work by doing parts of it for them. In many ways it operates without direct human involvement and performs the task on their behalf. Email uses the internet to streamline communication and replace the steps of manually moving it. Uber creates a two sided marketplace where people don’t need to call a taxi, their ride is sourced and assigned for them. And of course, artificial intelligence is now autonomously doing everyday virtual tasks for people with no more than a prompt and some instruction.

Both tools and technology are helpful in increasing the well-being of your life, but they also have their drawbacks. We already have a bias to be lazy, these enable us to be even lazier. We already have vulnerabilities to do things that tempt us and please us in the moment, now those vices are way more accessible.

There’s an expression that goes “money doesn’t change people, it only makes them more of who they already are.” The same can be said for tools and technology.

That’s why it’s so important that we build the right foundation of values and beliefs. We can be a source of more goodness in the world and technology could pull that out of us! It’s just a matter of orienting the objectives of our lives around good and healthy things, that are genuinely enjoyable and serve others.

You get that right and you’ll become an unstoppable force for good in the world!

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Something that has been fascinating me recently is the infinite potentiality of existence and the miracle that is the present moment. The exact moment we’re experiencing right now is the perfect result of everything that ever came before it. This involves every decision you, me, and anyone has ever made, as well as all that’s happened before and during our existence. 

Think of it this way: There’s an estimated 7.5 quintillion specks of sand on the Earth. That’s 7.5 x 10¹⁸ grains of sand. The present moment is infinitely more unlikely than picking out a specific speck. There are countless alternatives that could have come to pass, just like there are countless specks of sand that could have been picked instead. The truth of it is - the one speck that’s here before us is the one that came to be. Every moment of reality is a miracle. It’s statistically impossible.

Further (and I believe in God but whatever higher power you believe in) each one of the infinite possibilities was designed into that first creation. If we speed through a yellow light or stop at it shifts the trajectory of existence permanently. Not to mention the infinite amount of details that could be different from every single person in every single moment moving forward… The scope of potentiality is impossible to comprehend. 

Only God, or a higher power, is capable of something so vast. 

What’s really encouraging about this is that there are potential realities that include exactly what we want. There are paths we can walk on that take us into the sliver of existence we want to experience. In fact, that future is designed to be influenceable. In that way every choice co-creates every moment that will ever exist moving forward. 

Some people use that power for evil, and have done so. Political assassinations and attacks have put history on a new course. Existence is forever altered by their acts. Equally there are people who are committed to being a force for good amid the uncertainty. They give others opportunities, resources, and favor that are carried into the next moment of their lives and beyond. 

Do not underestimate how impactful a single moment of kindness can be. It’s infinite and impossible to quantify. Isn’t that interesting… As we discuss the infinite possibilities that exist, the once that comes to be is determined to be impossible? 

Life is the sandbox we get to play in. It gives us the raw materials to create whatever our minds can dream up! What are you going to build?

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I just finished listening to the audiobook “Unreasonable Hospitality” by Will Guidara and enjoyed the level of thoughtfulness he puts into his work. As a world-famous restaurateur there’s intention in every part of the dining experience - from how people are greeted, the slower pace of a waiter delivering dessert to a table, and the specific dish soap they put in the dishwasher. 

Throughout the book Will featured stories and lessons about his experience managing his team. He knows that he couldn’t have achieved a fraction of the success he did without a high-powered group of people around him who were equally committed to making the product and service exceptional.

One of the best things he said on the topic was “A good manager makes sure everyone knows what to do, and then makes sure they’ve done it.” 

There’s nothing profound about that statement. It’s advice you’ve heard before, in fact it’s something I say often related to managing yourself. And it reinforces what is truly important.

In a management capacity, the main reason people don’t meet expectations is because they don’t know what those expectations are. The task or command isn’t clearly defined enough and it leaves room for interpretation. What one person thinks is sufficient may not be to someone else. That’s why clarity of expectation is such an important part of effective management.

The next part is ‘making sure they’ve done it’, and I want to tackle that from a different angle that Will implies. As a manager it’s your responsibility to make sure that the people you’re managing are fully supported in doing the thing they’ve been assigned to. It’s not as simple as setting the goal and then measuring if it was achieved… That’s a strategist. Management involves hands-on and detailed iteration. Management requires constant adjustment. 

As I alluded to, it’s this same philosophy that steers our own self-improvement and self-management. We set clear intentions for what we’re going to do and how we’re going to show up in the world, and then we execute it. The process of converting intention into action is more artistic than scientific. There’s a lot of nuance that a perfect plan can’t account for. Those are the details that require your personal management.

I’m sure you don’t need another book recommendation, but if you’re in a position where you’re running a business and want to hold the organization to an exceptional standard, or learn what high-performance and a connected culture looks like in a team environment, then I recommend reading “Unreasonable Hospitality”. 

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For the last 6 months or so I’ve really been enjoying doing things in silence. I’ve noticed how easy it is to keep yourself stimulated but how much more peaceful life is without it. In practicing some of that, while I was getting ready to board a flight, I chose to create a moment of mindfulness of doing nothing but standing there and waiting.

I noticed the guy in front of me on the jetway was also just standing and waiting – which is pretty abnormal given how everyone else was looking at their phones. I had the crazy idea to strike up a conversation, but chickened out. I could have asked about his shoes, a brand I was interested in, but didn’t. I could have asked him where he was flying to, an easy and obvious topic. 

I realized that I was scared to talk to a stranger, which is silly and not who I want to be, and I asked a question abruptly that he responded to, and we chatted for a minute or two. He was a nice guy and nothing to fear.

After landing and having a short layover, when I was in line to board the next plane I challenged myself to do it again. This time someone was asked to check one of their bags because they had too many. I heard the conversation and his complaints, walked over, and offered to allocate one of his bags as my carryon because I didn’t have one. The request was denied, apparently that was illegal, and when we both returned to line we had a quick conversation and he appreciated the gesture.

Nothing majorly profound came from either exchange but it reinforced something important inside me. Life is better when we’re connected and a part of each other’s world. From a stranger to a close friend, there’s something instinctual within us that wants to be in community with others. Yet we are surrounded by people that choose to pay attention to the world on their screens.

I’m guilty of this myself and setting an intention to chat it up more often with the people around me. It’s harmless, fun, and a little exhilarating. If you have some social anxiety or want to improve your social skills, give it a try once and you’ll realize it’s not as scary or hard as you thought it would be.

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I don’t know if you’re a recovering people-pleaser like I am, but sometimes still when someone invites you to something it’s hard to say “no”. FOMO creeps in, you don’t want to be looked over for the next opportunity or invitation, and it’s possible that you agree to doing something that doesn’t make sense. 

One of the things that I’ve found has helped me navigate situations like this, is by simply stating “I have another commitment”. It very subtly implies that you’re interested in doing the thing, you’d like to be a part of it, but this time you’re unable to attend. 

Even if you have nothing going on, this is better than making a white-lie. A commitment is just a strong way of communicating what you’re planning on doing. That can be as serious as fully occupied plans, related to lighter plans that you could move around if needed, or as open as keeping space in your calendar so that you’re not booked. A commitment is a firm decision and ironically, that decision can be to commit to nothing.

Also what I’ve found to be true is that people don’t usually ask follow up questions when you keep your answer short and sweet. They respect the boundary, recognize it’s none of their business, and the conversation moves on. Having a simple expression like this in your back pocket helps you not make plans doing things you don’t want to do.

A sister expression that doesn’t state a position but buys you more time to consider your options is “Let me think about it.” This isn’t a new and grand idea, it’s probably something you’ve done before, but I’m bringing it up because it works. People aren’t going to probe and make you make a decision on the spot. You give yourself space to be thoughtful about what you want to do without the pressure and bias of the moment.

The most helpful insights of personal development often revisit the fundamentals. They’re in place because they work when you work them. So rather than getting caught up in committing to things that are out of alignment with how you want to invest your time, take control of it with intentional language in conversation.

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I want to clarify a mistake I see a lot of people making in their self improvement and because of it, they’re not giving themselves enough credit for the progress they’re making. 

What does it mean to be accountable? Believe it or not, it does not mean to do the thing that you said you were going to do. It’s way simpler than that and flips the idea on its head. Most people have an avoidant relationship with accountability because if they didn’t do the thing they were supposed to do, it means they were bad and are disappointing others. 

If you go to the etymology of accountability, you can see the meaning more plainly. To ‘account’ for something is to keep track of it. That’s what accounting is for a business. Then ‘ability’ is to be able to take action on it. When you put that together, accountability is ‘the act of keeping track’. It does not require that you did what you said you were going to do, it makes you produce an answer as to whether you did or didn’t do it. So long as you provide that answer, you are accountable.

The great part about this reframe is that you can then learn so much from times when you didn’t follow through and do what you intended to do. You can diagnose the conditions, context, and circumstances around it to understand what got in the way. Rather than wallowing in disappointment, you can learn from your mistakes and oversights. That’s what generates growth.

You can’t improve something that you aren’t aware isn’t meeting your standard. Follow through is behavioral, accountability is awareness. When you hold yourself accountable it means you make yourself aware of your performance. When someone else holds you accountable, they make sure you’re reflecting on how you did. In that way, accountability borrowed awareness.

That’s not to say that you’re actions don’t matter. Of course they do. You need to follow through if you want to get results. But when you don’t, you can still be accountable and drive positive improvement for your next attempt.

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