When you’re sitting down at dinner and your friend leaves, or a service worker tells you to wait for a few moments to be helped at the front of a line, what is the first thing we all do?  We check our phones!  Why do we do this?  It’s a comfortable behavior, and we are familiar with everything on our phone, and it provides shelter from the crazy world around us. I mean who would just sit there and look around? That’s weird!

Well no, it’s actually a really good and beneficial thing to do, and here is why. First, it keeps you from hunching over your phone, and sitting or standing up with good posture reflects positive in your physiology. Second, we seldom take time to just be in the moment. Society is very fast paste these days, and setting aside time to be with yourself is valuable from a mental health perspective. Lastly, it’s a small way to break the habit of relying on our phones. We have developed a strange dependence on our phones that is pervasive in our lives and behavior. 50% of people feel uneasy when they don’t have their phones with them, and 61% of people keep their phone either under their pillow our next to their bed. Although technology and connectivity is important, just like any behavior it needs to be done in reasonable amounts.

So, resist the urge to take out your phone in non-stimulating situations. Or, better yet, if you’re really up to the task, choose to leave your phone behind for a while. Give it a try and see how in-tuned you are with everything else going on around you.

Alright, let’s talk dollars and cents. What is the safest place to put your money? I’ve heard real-estate is pretty good, or what about mutual funds? The answer to this question is neither of those, the best place to invest is in yourself.

This can be done in a number of ways. One thing you could do is get an education. The concepts you’ll learn and the ways that you’ll learn to think will benefit every part of your life. This can mean going to college, taking online courses, buying books, or whatever form of education reaches you best. Something else you can invest is your time. Dedicate a summer to learning a new trade, or working under an expert in your field for free. The time you spend doing these things with authentic intentions will set you up for future success. Or last, you could try investing in your body. This means eat right, exercise, have loving relationships, limit stress, and practice gratitude.  Doing the things necessary to have a healthy body is incredibly valuable because it allows you to live in a good mental state. So, be prepared to take advantage of an opportunity when it presents itself.       

Investing in yourself goes beyond financial gain and professional performance. It leaks into your mentality and approach towards life. You’ll feel more confident in your abilities, eager to take action, and fulfilled in your life. Success comes as a result of taking care of yourself, which is hard but important work. That is why investing in yourself emotionally, physically, financially, and spiritually, is the best thing you could ever do.

You’ve heard the expression, “be comfortable being uncomfortable”, haven’t you? It is important for anyone to be able to execute in situations that aren’t cozy or convenient. Well, there’s only one way to get better at situations like that, and it is exposure. But, this exposure doesn’t need to be hugely disruptive. It’s okay to put a toe in the water instead of jump into the deep end. In fact, it’s much more practical to easily introduce yourself to uncomfortable situations.

Break your routine in subtle ways.  

This concept is strangely effective. Breaking routine requires your brain to take conscious control of your actions and uproot the habit it is accustomed to acting within.  What this does is it activates different areas of your brain that usually aren’t active, strengthening neural connections that go underused and forming new connections among neurons. Our brains have the ability to adapt, so electing to put yourself in uncomfortable situations slowly changes our brain’s wiring for the better.

Something that I do is I set my wake up alarm for a weird time, like 6:37.  For whatever reason, It feels uncomfortable to that, but I do it anyway knowing that breaking my routine in a small way has great benefits. A fun example of this was an experiment I ran on myself when I brushed my teeth with my non-dominant left-hand everyday. I initially felt extremely uncoordinated and awkward doing it, but was shocked to see how quickly my motor cortex adapted to the exercise and became completely capable of the task.

Our brain and thought patterns are largely influenced by the way we feel and perceive things. For that reason, treating ourselves in a way that sets us up for success should be a priority. And we can do that by priming our brain to think a certain way simply by telling it how it feels. This is the concept of self talk.  

A great but a bit exaggerated example of this can be found in this viral video of a girl talking to herself in the mirror:  

Video 1

So, the tip is to use self-talk to your advantage, and that starts by knowing how. To create a positive setting, use affirmations in the first person. This is exactly what we just heard. But, when in a negative setting, it is more effective to dissociate a little from the message by talking in the third person. LeBron James handles a question when he decided to sign with a new team: 

Video 2

As you can probably tell, taking a step away from the situation makes internal thoughts feel a little more rational and controlled. This is something to give a try next time you start feeling overwhelmed.

Have you ever benefited from something somebody did out of the goodness in their heart? Afterwards, you tried to wrap your head around why they did it, how it brought value to them, and what their long term play was. Although it seems like there is no good reason for the gesture, oftentimes people do it for one simple to pay it forward.

The concept of pay it forward survives to keep a string of good karma going by serving other people without expectation. This can be done in response to someone else doing a good deed for you, or it could be done out of gratitude.  

So, try to pay it forward. It can be financial, by paying someone else’s toll or bus fare. It could be emotional, by taking the time to send a nice note to someone who could use a pick me up. Or chronological, by giving away your time to help someone through an issue they are having.

The benefits of paying it forward are associated with acquiring a broader understanding and appreciation for your life. By doing things for other people with nothing expected in return, your actions come from a place of sincerity that spurns self-reflection.  

Another thing to think about paying it forward is it's usually practiced by a superior, or someone in the position to offer value, to an inferior. This establishes a mentor-protege relationship that can be replicated in the future for generations, keeping the goodwill chain alive!

Try paying it forward sometime soon, either financially, emotionally, or with your time.

Manu Goswami talks about all of the great things that come from taking a phone call.

"Today I want to share something that I have incorporated in my life that has returned more than I ever could have asked for. As simple as it is, it is often overlooked by people who spend the time doing it. It is really simple. Take a five minute phone call just because. Everyday I try to set aside the time to take a call with someone in my network and I'm usually surprised by how it went. This helps me give some kind of advise, and these conversations keep me really sharp and to the point. Also, there is nothing like human connection, and getting on the phone portrays so much more than commenting on social media ever could. If you are not confident taking phone calls, then that is even more of a reason to just do it. Just like creating your own content, the only way to get past that fear is just try it once".

Success is relative and having a good perspective on the status of your life bring more fulfillment than you could imagine. A famous monk and influential figure, Guar Gopal Das, put perspective into perspective in this message.

"Whether you drive a Volkswagen or you drive a Bentley, the road remains the same doesn't it? Whether you speak on a Samsung or whether you speak on a Iphone X, whoever is calling remains the same isn't it? Whether you are flying economy or you are flying business, the destination remains the same isn't it? Whether you are wearing a simple fast track or you are wearing an Omega Rolex, the time remains the same isn't it? Its quiet amazing how we work ourselves up so much with increasing the standard of living without increasing the standard of our life".

Have a fair understanding of the privileges that you have in your life. You can gain this understanding by expressing gratitude, doing community service, or practicing empathy.

I am in progress right now with a big move and going through a major cleanse myself. I can relate to how difficult it is to get rid of certain things, but I can also attest to the great feeling a fresh start brings.  

So, take time to simplify your life. This comes most obviously in the form of material goods and excess possessions that you don’t really need, but it also comes in your approach to what you need. One of my favorite lines from Darius Rucker’s song "alright" where he sings, “I got all I need, and that’s alright by me”, really embodies this thought.  

But, what does simplifying your life actually do? First, it decreases your overall stimulation and allows you to live in the moment and enjoy things around you.  From a more physiological stand point, reducing over-stimulation can increase concentration, decrease stress levels, and help you sleep better.  

Simplify your life today by cleaning up a little and identifying the essentials. With current technology, nostalgic possessions can remain a part of your life forever if you take a picture of it before discarding it. Keep those memories in a tidy place on your computer where it does not overwhelm you. You will soon get over the sadness and realize that a weight has been lifted and you can better focus on the things you want to do

Each and every one of us has had the next billion dollar idea that never came to fruition, or that job we never applied for.  Imagine where you would be if you had just committed to trying it.

In my experience, committing fully to something is best accomplished through accountability. Personally, I respond best to interpersonal accountability, which involves telling someone else about my commitment. Studies show that you are 65% more likely to stick to something if you told someone about your commitment, and 95% more likely to stick to it if you have a weekly follow up with that person. In Darren Hardy’s book, The Compound Effect, he talked about finding a peak performance partner that you follow up with every week.  

So, create interpersonal accountability because it forces you to commit, and there are a few things you can do today to make it happen. First, make a goal sheet with your weekly goals and share it with someone else. You can also make that someone else your Peak Performance Partner. Lastly, you can share your ambitions on social media or in social media groups. 

There is an unwarranted stigma around this next tip that I want to address. Too many people are afraid to ask for help. I don’t know if this is out of pride, fear, or something else, but the sooner you get comfortable asking for help the sooner you will benefit from the value around you.  

Many people view asking for help as a weakness because it implies that there is a deficiency in your capabilities, when in reality, it’s usually viewed as a strength.  It requires a certain confidence to ask for help, and people appreciate that. Additionally, acknowledging your own limitations makes you seem more human, and people can relate to that.

So the next time you are struggling with something, mental, physical, emotional, spiritual, seek the opinion of someone you respect, and ask them for advice.  Not only will you probably get some useful advice that helps your situation, but you will actively be growing the relationship by laying a foundation of trust and reciprocity.   

Beyond that, asking for help also brings others happiness, as well as increases productivity. So give it a try, and ask someone you trust to help you out.  I think you’ll be surprised by their willingness to offer their services!