We are all perfectly imperfect.  It’s human nature and it’s part of life.  I think a huge factor that separates to “good” from the “great” is how we manage those imperfections. Let’s listen to Jeremy Ryan Slate, the hugely popular podcast “Create Your Own Life”, and hear his thoughts on this.

Slate says, " Are you going to make mistakes in business? Absolutely! Because I will tell you why. I do not care how many years you have been in business, there is going to be something you are doing in your business that it is the first time you have ever done it. And it could be in life. Like, it could be the first time you ever asked a girl out. First time you have ever had a kid. There is always going to be the first time you ever do something, so it is not going to be perfect. I think that the real success or the real winning at something is how quickly can you learn for that mistake and create a solution that actually works and actually solves the problem, and does not create that same problem again. So, I think the real idea here is how quickly can you learn from your mistakes because they are absolutely going to happen".

So, learn from your mistakes. It’s not about the mistake you make, but rather the way that you go about correcting that mistake. The first step to correcting a mistake is to act quickly by accepting that the mistake was made. Instead of holding onto our previous position and wasting precious time to protect our ego, we can move onto the more actionable component of it, which is correcting it. Once you’ve made it there, be sure that the lesson is learned by reflecting on the experience a number of times, ensuring the same mistake won’t happen again.

In the United States, we are celebrating Martin Luther King Jr. Day, who is one of the most influential leaders in the history of the country. His dedication to the civil rights movement changed the face of the world for the better, and his legacy lives on with every breath of every American. Thank you Dr. King.

He was an effective leader because he possessed a dangerous combination, which was a mission that he wholeheartedly believed in, and a clear vision for how he wanted to bring about that change. Dr. King is the epitome of a person who had a voice, built a platform, and stood up for what they believe in.

Not only can we take many great lessons from Dr. King’s work about leadership, public speaking, and idea execution, but we can extract King's mentality as well. I encourage all of us to stand up for what we believe in.

With a strong sense of self, and a confidence in your voice, you too can impact this world like Martin Luther King. Yea, everything is relative to scale, but we all have a lot of influence in our micro-communities that we live in, and a better regional environment will leak into neighboring environments, and continue to cascade farther than you would believe!

The theme for my 2019 is to be dialed in. To me, this means to be laser focused and engaged in everything I do. The main way I believe I can achieve this is to eliminate distractions, and for most of us, the largest source of distractions is on our phone.

Try to change your iPhone’s “raise to wake setting”. The raise to wake setting is basically the feature that you don’t need to push a button to have your phone light up, you just need to move it a little bit.  Throughout my day, I find myself picking up my phone to quickly check to see if I have any notifications. As quick as that check is, it significantly interrupts my work flow and any momentum I had working on a task. By changing this setting, it will require more effort to check my notifications, and therefore I think I will do so less, and overall be less distracted.

If you want to change your settings, it will 15 seconds and 3 touches. Open your Settings application, then find and click the “Display and Brightness” section. From there, click off the setting called “Raise to wake”.  

If this works for me, I’ll start exploring other ways to minimize distractions through my phone, and will proudly report back other opportunities for improvement.

 “Always remember that your present situation is not your final destination. The best is yet to come.”

This quote references the journey that we are all on. Although it doesn’t seem clear, we are all on our own life path. Different opportunities open up, some other doors close, but it’s important to remember that the journey we are does have a direction.  I am a firm believer that anything good in life is a process, and the process is meant to be enjoyed just as much as the final result.  But, this quote also serves as a good reminder on troubled days that our current state is not indicative of the larger picture, which brings some optimism to our tomorrows.  

Good things take time, and everything that is happening to you right now is preparing yourself for that imminent breakthrough. If you truly believe that, then the challenges you experience have found a new context, and the hard times more bearable. That’s where this “the best is yet to come” part ties in. Our path might feel aimless and without direction, but we have greener pastures ahead, and one day we will look back on our life experience and understand how everything worked out the way it was meant to.

So, have a belief that your present situation is not your final destination, and that the best is yet to come. Painting your future with a positive finish will help you get the most out of your today, and appreciate the progression we experience as we get there.

I played college soccer, and more than anything I wanted to win a conference championship my senior year. My co-captain, Ramon Martin Del Campo, and I adopted a simple message for or season, “Why not us?”.

There were 8 teams in our conference, and obviously somebody had to win it, so we figured “Why not us?” It didn’t feel like too much of a stretch, and it gave us a renewed confidence stepping onto the field to help try and turn our dream into a reality. With this mentality we became the #1 seed and clinched home field advantage.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t us. Our season ended with a heart-breaking last second loss, but I learned the valuable lesson that it’s okay to dream to beat the odds. And I feel like this lesson translates beyond sports. This has encouraged me to be the one that stands out from the crowd in all areas of my life.

“Why not us?” is a mentality, and it creates an aura of possibility. And that hope is all of the motivation you’d need to dedicate yourself to making it happen. Take it from this timeless quote from Dumb and Dumber. After Jim Carrey’s character, Lloyd Christmas, hears that it’s one in a million that he will end up with the girl he loves, his response was “So you’re saying there’s a chance?”

Now that we are deep into the New Year, and we have some of our resolutions and goals in effect, it’s important to think about what that means for us.  Sure, the New Year serves as good motivation to start working toward something that is important to you, but then what does that mean for how you used to spend your time last year? I’m sure there was a lot of good that happened. And that’s what Kim Kaupe, the CEO of The Superfan Company is sharing with us in this video.

So,we’re not working on a new version of ourselves, we are expanding upon the framework we have already built, and finding areas for improvement. Everything about is makes us who we are, and it is extremely important to acknowledge and appreciate the person you have become. Thanks to Kim, we won’t lose sight of that.

In my favorite book of all time, Influenced by Dr. Robert Cialdini, we are introduced to six different mental shortcuts we have the certain people that can take advantage of for personal gain, and they are reciprocity, commitment, consistency, social proof, liking, authority, and scarcity. The pillar I want to focus on is commitment and consistency.

Our behavior is affected by previous commitments that we make because our mind prefers to maintain a consistent state. This means that if we make a micro-commitment, it could very well grow into a larger commitment simply out of comfort.  

So In the spirit of today, which is the second episode of my guilty pleasure “The Bachelor”, I am going to share a Bachelor related example. 

To be on the show, all of the girls completely uproot their life in the hopes that they would find love. With all of that sacrifice, the girls must justify their decision to leave, and the only thing that could truly validate their decision is to end up with the bachelor.  So, their behavior becomes consistent with that decision they made, and they become over-infatuated with the Bachelor because that is the only things that would validate their commitment. This explains why they truly believe they can fall in love so quickly.

No,today’s tip isn’t to be on the Bachelor, although that would be a good one, it is to be aware of your behavior after making a commitment. You would be surprised how many micro-commitments we make a day, and how strongly motivating it is to be consistent with that commitment. It’s the reason why accountability is so effective. Your brain prefers to follow through on the things you set out to do, or else you will experience cognitive dissonance, which is a state of inconsistency in your thoughts.

This message is about dread, which is defined as “to anticipate with apprehension or fear”. In discomfort we find growth, and when we feel that cringe-worthy event, conversation, or speech is fast-approaching on the horizon, we have a tendency to avoid the way we feel about it.  But Mark Bradford, the founder of Alchemy for Life has a different take on it.

Bradford states, " Do you experience dread? We all do. It's the feeling that you don't wanna do something. When you think about it you just say, 'ugh'. You have this flight or fight reaction or more accurately you wanna leave your house. You wanna do something else. You just procrastinate and do everything you can to avoid it. We all done this a number of times. To get rid or dread, you have to direct the play going on in your head. Studies have shown that we can be our worst enemy. The amount of theory that go on in our head can really drive us crazy. So, here is what to do. If you are feeling dread, and i have to stress that if you are not feeling dread this won't work. This only works when you actually are experiencing dread in your life. Take a breath and allow yourself to feel it. I know it a negative emotion. I know it is unpleasant, but allow yourself to feel it, and let it wash over you. Now , ask why you are dreading this particular thing that you are avoiding. Is it because the person on the other side is just gonna yell at you? That they are going to have an overly-emotional reaction?That they are definitely going to disagree with what you are telling them? Now, get off the infinite loop and make the change and make the change. Which means take the next step and play it out in your mind. Is what your saying to the person or the situation correct? Do you feel that that is part of who your character is doing the right thing? This is important, because if you feel like you are doing the right thing, you will notice the play start to change. If what your doing is not tainted by spite, anger, and disrespect or things that really what you really are, you will suddenly gain control of the play. There is no guilt or no bad feelings. Just you trying to do the right thing. Now that you feel that, one or two things are going to happen: Because you are the person controlling the play and doing the right thing you may find that the theoretical person on the other side doesn't react so terribly. It might be more plausible and realistic. Huh. That's not a big thing. That is not a big deal. And if like it? Well, that is reasonable. Now, go back to the feeling of dread. Is it still there or did it dissolve. It may very well have dissolved. So, if you are suffering fro dread why not try this today?It could literally work in the time it took for me to describe it to you. Try it".

Addressing emotions head on is a very healthy approach, especially when the emotions are negative.

Lets take a quick moment to share more about Mark and his life coaching practice Alchemy for Life. Mark believes that our lives are the combination of 3 things such as time, energy, and resources, and he has developed many frameworks and tools to optimize different areas of your life.