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January 10, 2019

Dealing with Dread with Mark Bradford

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This message is about dread, which is defined as “to anticipate with apprehension or fear”. In discomfort we find growth, and when we feel that cringe-worthy event, conversation, or speech is fast-approaching on the horizon, we have a tendency to avoid the way we feel about it.  But Mark Bradford, the founder of Alchemy for Life has a different take on it.

Bradford states, " Do you experience dread? We all do. It's the feeling that you don't wanna do something. When you think about it you just say, 'ugh'. You have this flight or fight reaction or more accurately you wanna leave your house. You wanna do something else. You just procrastinate and do everything you can to avoid it. We all done this a number of times. To get rid or dread, you have to direct the play going on in your head. Studies have shown that we can be our worst enemy. The amount of theory that go on in our head can really drive us crazy. So, here is what to do. If you are feeling dread, and i have to stress that if you are not feeling dread this won't work. This only works when you actually are experiencing dread in your life. Take a breath and allow yourself to feel it. I know it a negative emotion. I know it is unpleasant, but allow yourself to feel it, and let it wash over you. Now , ask why you are dreading this particular thing that you are avoiding. Is it because the person on the other side is just gonna yell at you? That they are going to have an overly-emotional reaction?That they are definitely going to disagree with what you are telling them? Now, get off the infinite loop and make the change and make the change. Which means take the next step and play it out in your mind. Is what your saying to the person or the situation correct? Do you feel that that is part of who your character is doing the right thing? This is important, because if you feel like you are doing the right thing, you will notice the play start to change. If what your doing is not tainted by spite, anger, and disrespect or things that really what you really are, you will suddenly gain control of the play. There is no guilt or no bad feelings. Just you trying to do the right thing. Now that you feel that, one or two things are going to happen: Because you are the person controlling the play and doing the right thing you may find that the theoretical person on the other side doesn't react so terribly. It might be more plausible and realistic. Huh. That's not a big thing. That is not a big deal. And if like it? Well, that is reasonable. Now, go back to the feeling of dread. Is it still there or did it dissolve. It may very well have dissolved. So, if you are suffering fro dread why not try this today?It could literally work in the time it took for me to describe it to you. Try it".

Addressing emotions head on is a very healthy approach, especially when the emotions are negative.

Lets take a quick moment to share more about Mark and his life coaching practice Alchemy for Life. Mark believes that our lives are the combination of 3 things such as time, energy, and resources, and he has developed many frameworks and tools to optimize different areas of your life.

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