Self Improvement Daily Podcast

There is nothing more human than a human connection. With the rise of technology, we are starting to lose sight of that. But, we still know that there is so much joy to be found, opportunity within, and emotion around building face to face relationships.

A timeless book titled Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi, gives us the best practices on how to build a network. A network is important professionally because, as per the latest estimates, 80% of job placements are done through referral rather than a traditional interview. So to be successful, it’s important that you know people, and Keith Ferazzi’s book does a great job explaining how to do so.

The first thing to keep in mind is the type of relationship you’re looking to build. Ferrazzi puts it as having refrigerator rights. Basically, you should have relationships that are intimate enough that you have no issue going through each other’s fridge without permission, which is pretty intimate if you ask me, but a relatable standard.

He also explains that relationships are like muscles, don’t work them and they won’t grow, work them too hard and they’ll strain. These relationships require reciprocation to continue validating that there is mutual value in the exchange. The quality of time is better than the quantity of time.

Lastly, Ferrazzi talks about being proactive about building your network, and that you should do it before you need it. This gives you the time to let those relationships mature and leverage them when the time is right for you.

If you’re looking to grow your network, look no further than Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi. He is full of great ideas that can improve the quality of your relationships and life.

Many people are fighting with themselves, trying unsuccessfully to manage their own lives. Whether it is depression, substance abuse, addiction, or anything really, it feels like a solo battle, but know that these people aren’t alone. There are many ways to get help, and that everyone has what it takes inside themselves to beat it. 

An extremely brave soul by the name of Brittany Burgunder is a pioneer in the fight against eating disorders after living through it herself. But, her message applies far beyond her immediate influence.

As Brittany mentions, it is a long process to get back to being okay and restoring quality of life. The first and most important step for someone is to admit they have a problem, because that can serve as the trigger and motivation for more action to take place.  

Big or small, I challenge you to take a look at yourself and see what you find. Maybe you aren’t motivated to workout, and you could use the accountability of a coach or friend. Or maybe you eat too many sweets before bed. Or maybe you do have clinical depression. Whatever it might be, the first step in the right direction is acknowledging you have a solvable problem and need help.

Recently, I watched a movie called “Free Solo”, which is about a guy named Alex Honnold who dared to climb El Capitan, one of the tallest rock faces in the world, without a support rope.  It is arguably one of the greatest athletic feats in history, but the underlying message in it was fascinating and something I want to talk more about.

At one point in the movie, Alex said something extremely profound. Alex stated, “if you keep pushing to the edge, eventually you’re going to find it”.  While the quote has quite a literal meaning in his life, the figurative meaning applies to us all.  So often are we told to go above and beyond and push the boundary because that is where opportunity lies. But, that thinking is misguided if you believe that there is no limit to the possibility.  The reason people color between the lines is because there is danger in stepping outside of the lines. This means that you need to take extra caution and be prepared for things to go wrong anytime you do push the boundary.

Now, how do we quantify that trade-off?  It seems like a big dilemma between risk and reward.

Well in Alex’s case, it was deciding between life and death. The way he approached it is exactly how all of us should approach our own relatable circumstance. First, Alex was practical, and had accepted the consequences of his decision, which freed him to act without obstruction. Second, he prepared incessantly, and got to a point where he was content with being uncomfortable.

While the stakes might not be so severe in your life, be mindful of this trade-off between risk and reward. Be sure to pursue opportunities in a way dares you to dream and acknowledges your limits.

How often does this happen to you. You hope for big results and create big plans, but then when it comes to start working toward it you don’t know where to start?

That’s me, and just about every big plan I’ve had.

But I’ve gotten better at it over the time, and here’s why

I started slowing down and thinking about the actionable steps that create results.  This often involves setting micro goals, forecasting timelines, and not thinking twice about decisions I’ve already made. In my mind, all of the above and more are all part of creating a cohesive action plan.

Action plans are important because they do exactly mean what they imply. They give you direction on how to go about executing.  An action plan naturally has a hierarchy of priorities that can help you to complete more fundamental components before others and set you up for success.

Still, going through an action plan can be daunting, especially at the beginning, because there is such a long list of things you have to do to get there.

So do you want to hear my personal hack? Add things to your action list that are already completed!  This will shift your psychology on how you approach your list of things to do.  

How does this happen? It’s the endowed progress effect. Basically, if you have already made some form of advancement toward a goal, you will be more motivated to complete the goal because you’ve already made progress. So in this case, having a few things completed on your action plan will help motivate you get to other items in it!

I don’t consider it cheating, I call it working with what you’ve got!

“I may not be there yet, but I am closer than I was yesterday.

This quote is all about acknowledging progress. When working towards our goals, we can get impatient and hope to get results in a time frame faster than we are meant to. This can create disappointment, and discourage us from continuing to take our goals as seriously. It creates room for excuses and doubt. But, when you assert to yourself that you know you’re not at your goal yet, a strange thing happens. Your current becomes more contextual, both in the sense of looking forward and looking behind you. Recognizing that you are on the path to your goal, you can begin to see how the pieces come together and the stars align.

Seeing life in this way, that small wins compound into large wins, brings a wave of positivity into your life that enriches your every action. With that heightened motivation and presence, you can be more effective making more progress on your goals, feeding and sustaining the cycle.

So, if things don’t seem like they’re coming together how you wanted, or something still seems to be missing, provide a layer of context to the state of it, you may not be there yet, but you are closer than you were yesterday.

Something we overlook in life is how much we accomplish every day. Even when it seems like we didn’t get anything done, we can look back at the big things. The hours we spent working, and the small things like making your bed and preparing lunch.  Everything that gets done is a task completed and deserves some recognition.  But, where does that recognition go?

The key takeaway is to give credit where credit is due, meaning, make sure that praise and recognition falls on the right person. There are three different ways to go about that.

1. Especially when working in a team, it’s important to realize that everyone plays their own unique role in the project. The result could not have been possible without everyone’s contribution. In that case, the credit goes to the masses, not the individual.

2. When you are in a management position, and capable of delegating work to others, be sure to make your role as supervisor second to the work of the person tackling the task. This empowers others to take ownership of their work, and earn the result they receive. This is giving credit to someone else.

3. Don’t be shy when acknowledging yourself. If you truly are the fundamental reason something got done, the person that provided the breakthrough solution, or the worker that put in the necessary hours to finish a project, don’t hesitate to give yourself the credit. I understand there is a fine line between self-promotion and taking credit, but at least intrinsically it is important to acknowledge and recognize your own efforts.

Rise and shine!

Basically, when you rise and shine correctly, your alarm goes off and you excitedly bounce out of bed ready to start your day. It’s greeting the new day with a rush of energy. 

I want that feeling every day, and if I want to make it happen, I had to realize it starts way before the alarm goes off.

So first, set your alarm at a time where you feel like you get enough rest. Having a negative relationship with the time you set makes it that much harder to listen to your alarm when it goes off. So, don’t ruin yourself from the beginning and set a reasonable alarm.

If your alarm is too early, then fall asleep earlier! Everyone has different requirements when it comes to their sleep schedule, so be sure you don’t neglect your own.

When that alarm does go off, then get up. In Mel Robbins’ book, The 5 second rule, she says that our brain can’t always process things within a 5 second window, so if you get out of your bed in those first 5 seconds your brain will hardly resist you.  

Rise and shine! Get up, get out, and get after it!

So first, the intent of this goal sheet is to hold you accountable to doing the daily tasks that contribute to your larger goals.  That is why the first exercise is to determine your theme and points of emphasis for the sheet.  After doing that you can then fill in the daily goals that map toward that intention.

The sheet itself is a point scoring system that helps hold you accountable to taking action on a daily basis. It does so by having you set your target number of points that you want to earn in each category over the course of the week.  A really important part of this concept is to set reasonable expectations, or else you won’t take the goal sheet as seriously. The sheet should serve as your baseline, what you expect to accomplish at minimum in any given week.  For example, I try to read before bed every night, but I set my goal to be three times a week because I know at a minimum that is how often I want to be held accountable to be reading before bed.

When writing your goals, it is important to phrase them in a binary way. Using that same example, instead of having the goal be written as “read for 30 minutes”, I have it written as “read a book three times a week before bed.”  That way, when it comes to report on my performance, I have a clear yes or no answer about whether or not I earned the points. In this same example, having a strict definition means I can’t convince myself that I should earn points for reading an article on Facebook before bed, which is exactly the purpose.

Lastly, keeping track of your points on a weekly basis helps you compare between weeks and observe your improvement. If you feel like your baseline needs to be bumped up or down, you can implement that change at the beginning of any week, making your goal sheet realistic for your circumstances.