Self Improvement Daily Podcast

We live in such a consumerist society that encourages us to get more... and more... and more... Then when we get it we see that we’re not "there" yet so we keep pushing and sacrificing and exerting ourselves beyond our means to attain something that will always evade us. My ambitions are out of this world, trust me, and I’m proud of them, but they are not everything. I need to find value in who I am right now, not who I want to be, what I want to have, and what I want to do. That’s something Chalene Johnson taught me:

It’s the truth - An aligned life includes satisfaction and fulfillment. If we’re always off chasing something else that will validate us then we’ll never experience the joy of the present. We’ll never appreciate it, and that’s a sad thought and no way to live. But with a little more awareness, and an emphasis on being mindful in the moment, we can find the joy and fulfillment we so desperately seek. Give yourself some credit, cut yourself some slack, and accept that you are enough, and it is enough.

You have so much to offer! Your energy is contagious and your love even more so. When you choose to show up for others, and provide your heart, you’ll discover that it doesn’t take much to make a big difference. Love is an emotion that speaks louder than all other emotions, it’s a dominating force, and it comes in so many different shapes and sizes. And that’s what you I encourage you to affirm today. You can be intentional about leading with love and spreading love everywhere you go.

It’s taking an extra moment with a stranger to acknowledge them, to give them your attention, and make them feel heard and seen. It’s picking up a piece of trash on the ground out of respect and love for the other people you share this space with. It’s going the extra mile for no reason other than to facilitate someone else’s happiness.

And to me, that’s the point. It’s a choice. It’s your choice to spread love everywhere you go. Wherever you focus your attention will attract more of the same in your life, which will amplify your ability to provide more of it and your willingness to receive it. Make that thing love, because the world needs more of it, and no matter what you think, you have a ton of it to give.

In my core, I truly believe you can change someone's life for the better. I have been incredibly inspired by the Founder of the non-profit Pencils Of Promise, Adam Braun, particularly his book called “The Promise of a Pencil” where he chronicles the formation of his world changing organization Pencils of Promise. The beautiful part about Adam's journey is that the impact he created is relatable to everyone. It started small, one individual at a time, and has grown to affect thousands!

Every single one of us can make a difference. We’re all capable of inconveniencing ourselves a little to provide a lot for someone else. And it’s not even an inconvenience, it’s an aligned decision, and it gives you taste of what you have to offer. Adam’s career is a testament to everyone’s personal capacity for service, and his example has inspired me to take a larger role of service in my life.

Have you ever had one of the moments where you know that you know something, but you just can’t produce it? That “its on the tip of my tongue” kind of phenomena? Maybe you’re trying to remember someone’s name, or the title of a song, or a common knowledge trivia question that you’re sure you’ve been exposed to.

You think on it and you don’t make any progress until all of a sudden POOF you remember it clear as day, like you’ve known it all along. How does that happen? 

In order to understand we need to talk about memory. There are 2 types of memory - working / short term memory (while something is on your mind) and long term memory (something that encodes in your brain and can be recalled). Different bits of information are encoded to different levels and can be recalled with variable ease.

One of these levels is called episodic memory. This is when something major, what was labeled as most important, encodes in your brain. However, other details around the event aren’t encoded with the same complexity and therefore can’t be recalled as easily. That’s why we easily remember the emotional experience of the song lyrics we liked the most, but can have a hard time remembering the artist.

So what we do is we use episodic memory to simulate the environment and prompt our brain into recalling more details around the event. And that’s why it can take a bit of time, because you need to think through the memory, trigger word, or experience that is the gate to the information you are seeking. It's the very reason why you can think through something for a long time, make no progress on it, leave it for a bit, return to it and discover your answer! It’s because you gave yourself the time to come upon new possible events or memories that included the detail you are trying to recall.

The standard definition of judgment is far different than the real association we have with it as people. It is intended to be an unbiased evaluation of the way things are, but our egoistic minds have taken that and used it as a tool to self-soothe, which often leads to negative interpretations.

When we’re being judgmental we’re looking for criticism and fault. This happens because we want to validate our belief system, which reinforces the importance of the values we hold. This is a mechanism that is intended to make ourselves feel better about who ere, but what’s interesting is that it implies that we have pain or doubts that need to be comforted.

Your judgment is a projection of your own insecurities. What you see in others is simply a mirror of what you consciously or subconsciously see in yourself. And a lot of our behavior is driven by this mission to accommodate for the areas in our lives that feel like they’re out of alignment, or not enough.

So how can you be less judgmental? Stop judging yourself. Forgive yourself for wrongdoings. Recognize your own biases. Face-off with your insecurities and doubts. After gaining clarity within yourself, your relationship with those concepts will change, and the way you see those qualities in others will change.

The reason I know is because I’m becoming aware of certain negative thought patterns I have about others and their choices, that originate from my own insecurities. So I’m going to work on those, it’ll get better, and I encourage you to do the same!

Monday - Elevate Everyone with Sarah King

Tuesday - "Masks" Spoken Word by Adam Roa

Wednesday - Garrain Jones' Wheel of Power

Thursday - "You do you."

Friday - Complex Problems Require Simple Solutions

Simplicity is so underrated. We get in our heads that we need to be innovative and elaborate and complex to create a high-quality solution. More often than not, that is not the case. It’s the simple thing, that exists in plain sight that likely is the source of greatest potential.

Let’s take the example of a hose. You’re watering your garden and you realize the water pressure is low. There are two things you can do to fix it. You can increase the water pressure from the source handle, or fix the kink in the hose. That’s a pretty obvious decision, but let’s think about the concept within it. You can add more effort and force the pressure into the hose, even coming up with some elaborate contraption to do so, and it might achieve the outcome you wanted but with diminishing returns. But, if you fix the hose and simply evaluate the efficiency of the system, you can get the result you wanted without much challenge.

Beyond that example, there is an important distinction: Simple is not always easy. If you want a better relationship, kiss your partner in the morning and tell them you love them. Simple. If you want to feel more fit and healthy, exercise a regular amount and eat more healthy foods. Simple! Those things aren’t easy, cause if they were we’d already be doing it. There are complex emotions and associations and histories involved with these problems that often distort the clear and simple solution.

Steve Jobs described it well in this quote, “Simple can be harder than complex: you have to work hard to get your thinking clean to make it simple. But it's worth it in the end because once you get there, you can move mountains."

There’s so much going on in the world right now, too much to keep up with to be honest, and it is exhausting. It’s Coronavirus, it’s racial inequality and Black Lives Matter, it’s news about UFOs, and publicly suppressed information. In the face of it all we need to figure out what we want to do about it, and how we relate to others about it. This is so difficult because there are so many different opinions and arguments. So, let’s simplify it to something basic. “You do you”.

This is an expression I use when someone is making a decision that I don’t want to play a part in. If it’s something I disagree with, something I don’t have an interest in, or something I don’t understand, at some point you just gotta let someone else be their own person and make their own decisions. You do you.

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t engage in important debates and share your perspective, you absolutely should, but when your points continue to fall short and you can’t seem to get through to someone, you need to respect their own understanding and not continue the issue any further.

Because that’s mutual. That’s what you would want from someone else who was questioning your beliefs. The expectation is “alright, you can do you, but I’ll do me”. This means that you’re entrusted to make your own decisions and doing the best with what you have to work with on hand.

Now again, this can be very difficult. When it comes to people making decisions that put others in harm’s way, it’s not ethical to just let it go. It’s complicated, there’s no one size fits all solution to this,. I guess the point I’m trying to make is that we should be more tolerant of each other and look to understand first before criticizing. But what do I know? You do you.

This is an exercise I learned from Garrain Jones. Garrain swears by something called the 'Wheel of Power', which is a tool you can use to see where the deficiencies are in your life, relative to where your life could be in all its potential. It’s a simple exercise and it goes as follows.

Draw a circle, put a dot at the center, and divide the circle up into 8 even slices. It should look kind of like a wheel with 8 spokes. Those lines meet the circle at 8 different points, and each one of those points represents one of 8 areas of your life. Then, label each intersection with one of the 8 elements. Do this on the outside of your wheel, and those 8 elements are: Fun and adventure, health and nutrition, culture and tribe, current business, contribution, personal and spiritual development, physical challenges, and friends, family, and relationships. 

Next, you’re going to get introspective. Rate how you are doing in each of these areas of your life on a scale 1-10. A 1 means you’re very unsatisfied with your performance in that area, a 10 would mean it is fantastic. When you come upon your number, place a dot on that line estimating where that number would be on a scale 1-10, with the 1 being the center of the circle and 10 being all the way out on the edge of circle. Assign a number for all 8 qualities you are evaluating, and be honest because it could illuminate something important.

Then, connect all the dots! It might be evident what areas of your life are underserved, but to strengthen that point shade in everything on the inside of the figure formed by the connected dots to really see it. What is shaded is your wheel of life, this is how things are right now, and like any good wheel it functions best when it’s an even and well-rounded shape. Those areas that are keeping your wheel from being round are the very things that are keeping you from taking steps forward in your life.

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Additionally, all of the space that is inside the circle but not shaded is your capacity. That’s what you’re capable of having in your life, and your goal is to push you 8 elements out to a 10 so you can flourish and live in a way that matches your potential!

Do this exercise and see what comes up. Personally, it was fun and adventure and physical challenge. Lastly, go about addressing those areas of your life that need more attention. 

It’s strange how normal this quarantine lifestyle has gotten. Social distancing 6 feet apart, bump elbows when you run into a friend, wash your hands in and out of the house. Perhaps the reason this has become so normal so fast is because it’s actually not all that different from what we do any way. It just is a more noticeable form of it.

That’s the premise of Adam Roa’s new, thought-provoking spoken word poem titled “Masks”. Sit back, open your heart, and have a listen. 

What Adam touches on is that our society has an authenticity issue. We feel like we need to be someone we’re not to accommodate for what others expect us to be, so we go on repressing our uniqueness and truth to gain the approval of others. But that’s no way to live, and our awareness of this idea can hopefully lead to a Renaissance of authenticity that allows everyone to be fully self-expressed, unhindered, and unstoppable!