This is a verbal communication framework I’ve been studying for a year and it really simplifies our basic interactions. In knowing this model, you’ll be better prepared to understand the factors and intentions of why people say what they say. I can’t take credit for it, this model comes from my mentor Jim Bunch.

The communication model breaks down the content of our statements into 4 categories: Facts, opinions, feelings, and wants. The idea is that when you directly address all 4 of these things in communication, it makes your message clear and fully understood.

First are the facts. This is what actually happened with no emotional connection, and no assumptions. You know something is a fact when it’s impossible to disagree with. When you start by stating the facts, it creates a neutral ground and firm foundation.

Next comes opinions. This is when you state your perspective or frame of reference. This is an elaboration on the facts and how you’re interpreting it. Note that your interpretation is not factual itself, it’s simply your biased judgment of the facts. When you express your opinions with that level of awareness, people are more likely to listen and see where you’re coming from.

Then we get to feelings. This is the specific emotion that your opinion, interpretation, or judgment caused within you. When you communicate how you’re feeling about everything, it removes any blame or fault. This reduces the threat and allows people into your world so that they know how you have been impacted.

And last, we get to ‘wants’. This is your opportunity to talk about what you’d like to happen next. When teed up correctly, your ‘wants’ don’t come off as so selfish because you’ve explained the context, and your request is more reasonable.

In a practical example, this is how a manager might speak to an employee:

Fact - The deadline was yesterday and I did not receive the completed project

Opinion - To me this means that either you have too much on your plate, or you’re not being efficient with your work

Feelings - This makes me worried because we have a lot riding on servicing this client

Wants - In the future, I want you to meet your deadlines but if you know you’re going to miss it, give me 24 hours notice so that I can plan accordingly.

Doesn’t that feel effective, fair, and solution oriented? The next time you find yourself miscommunicating with someone else, take a step back and make sure all 4 elements of the communications model are being addressed! It will make things clear, smooth, and understandable.

The main thing that keeps us from getting more done in a day, or doing what we needed to do in a day, is distraction. It’s crazy how easily we can get pulled off task and how often it happens without us even realizing it.

The reason is because getting distracted is a form of self-sabotage. Self-sabotage is an unconscious force that prevents us from doing the things we consciously want to do. It’s our mind’s way of keeping things how they are by diverting us away from doing something new.

So rather than staying on task and focused on what’s in front of us... Especially if it’s something that threatens our current belief system... We get pulled into something else that is more psychologically safer.

As with anything, defeat distraction starts with awareness. That’s why I love the way that Nir Eyal, a prolific author, behavioral design expert, and friend thinks about how to deal with this. He says “you cannot call something a distraction unless you know what you’re being distracted from.”

We must be clear on what we intend to be doing so that we know when we’re not doing it. And when we’re off task, we can confidently label it as a distraction.

So let’s marry these two concepts of understanding distraction as an avoidance tactic and how our first step to conquering it is awareness. Is there something we can do to defeat distractions, get more of the right things done, and open up time guilt-free for the other things we enjoy in life? 

We absolutely can, and in fact, one of the 9 Super Habits addresses this directly It only takes 30 seconds to do. And when you get consistent with it, you start breezing through the hard things that you’ve been procrastinating on or getting distracted from.

If you want to install this Super Habit, alongside the 8 others that help you improve your health, multiply your productivity, and make you effortlessly self-disciplined to crush every single day, today (February 5th) we just started another round of the 21 Day Challenge to install your Super Habits System.

If you have a big vision for the impact you want to create in the world but feel like you’re too easily distracted, too inconsistent, or too unstructured to make it happen, in 21 days we will change that and you’ll become unstoppable!

And remember, today's the last day to sign up so make your decision right now!

When most people talk about wanting self-improvement in their lives, I think they actually want something more specific called “self-management”. Self management is one of the pillars of self-improvement and of all the pillars, it’s the thing that people struggle with the most.

People who want to make better dietary and health choices, the solution is better self-management. People who've made a commitment to themselves but they struggle to follow through on it, the solution is better self-management. People who give great advice but they don’t take it for themselves because they get in their own way, the solution is better self-management. People who spend too much time on their phone instead of in their work or present with loved ones need better self-management.

Self-management is a dynamic process that decides our daily living. When done well, it’s a careful and calculated balance that helps you engage in the right behaviors. This means that self-management is the actionable part of self-improvement and it’s in place to integrate your habits, address your needs, and hold you steady.

Going one step further, self-management is made up of two specific elements: Self-control and self-discipline.

Self-control is about being above the momentary impulses you feel and resisting an inclination to do something more pleasurable. Self-discipline is about consistently connecting your behavior with your overall goals. Good self-management involves high levels of self-control and self-discipline so that you effectively guide your behavior.

In my opinion, the reason most people fall short of the expectations they have for themselves is because they don’t have a strong enough self-management system. Instead of trying to rely on will-power and determination to enforce certain standards for yourself, you can incorporate new systems in your life that do the hard work for you. 

When you have a deliberate, defined process to create a certain result (aka a system), it creates efficiencies that allow you to achieve that result in less time and with less effort.

So now let’s be self-aware for a second. Reflecting on your intentions to listen to this podcast and reasons for investing in your self-improvement, is it for the purpose of building better habits, improving your mindset, making better choices, and living a higher quality life? 

If so, then you’re looking to change your behavior, and that falls directly into the category of improving your self-management.

And if you’re ready to take leaps forward in your self-management, I host a 21 day challenge to help you install the Super Habits System. This is a new life-operating system that gets you more consistent than ever with your health, multiplies your daily productivity, and transforms your mindset.

These 21 day challenges only run once a month and the next one starts on Monday! So if you’re serious about your self-improvement and want to make a year’s worth of progress in just 21 days, this is your ticket!

Guess what? I have bad days. I have days when I don’t feel like getting my workout in. Days when I get caught scrolling on Instagram. Days when I’m not as patient or kind to the people who are important to me. Days when I don’t show up as the best version of myself.

And I know I’m not alone. Everyone has times when they’re less productive, feel less motivated, or for whatever reason aren’t in a good mood.

Instead of feeling guilty that we couldn’t “mindset” our way through it, let’s be real about it. Somedays you just don’t quite have it, and that’s okay. But do you want to know the opportunity? You can make your bad days better.

An unproductive day still involves you getting some good things done, but not everything. You catch yourself scrolling on social media after 20 minutes instead of 2 hours. You choose to go for a walk or stretch instead of blowing off the gym altogether.

In my opinion the greatest evidence of growth is not witnessing how incredible things are when you feel good, but catching yourself from slipping too much when you don’t. It’s about holding yourself to a higher standard.

Making your bad days better is not a matter of will-power. It doesn’t make sense to rely on will-power at the times when you have it the least. The best way to hold yourself to a higher standard is by implementing  personal-performance systems. Systems allow you to get predictable results with less effort because the whole process has been systematized.

So if you want to have more discipline, more consistency, and more productivity even when you don’t feel like it, you need a system that helps you to do it. And the system I’ve created and perfected over the last decade is called the Super Habits System. When you take just 21 days to install this system into your life, you will become unrecognizably more productive and focused on the good days, and way more determined and consistent on your bad days.

Through this 21 day challenge I’ve helped hundreds of people break through their current level to get in the best shape of their lives, get promotions, break bad habits, and really feel like they’re making the most out of life. Click here if you want to be a part of it!

This is the single biggest hack I’ve ever come across in behavior change. It’s timeless and probably the #1 thing experts recommend to do if you want to improve anything about your life.

It’s called the Hawthorne Effect.

Basically, the Hawthorne Effect is a behavioral principle where performance improves when it’s being observed. That’s a lot of fluff so let me put it plainly - The best thing you can do to change anything about your behavior is track it.

If you want to eat healthier, sleep more, or exercise consistently? Track it. Want to be a better spouse, partner, parent, or daughter? Track it.

But here’s a caveat. You need to be actively tracking it! Your watch telling you how many steps you took in a day doesn’t work if you don’t look at it. Tracking how much time you spend on social media doesn’t help you spend less time on the app if you don’t observe your performance. 

If you know me well, you know I’m a huge advocate for this. Tracking is the one thing that has most transformed my life and I have never come across anything that can’t be improved by implementing some form of tracking it.

And here’s the psychology. When you are actively tracking something, you bring a moment of awareness to it. A lot of our bad habits or underperforming happens unconsciously without our choice. Tracking interrupts the unconscious pattern and brings consciousness to it, creating space to reflect on what might have caused it.

Your consciousness enables two things. First is it plants a message into your subconscious so that you become more aware of it moving forward. It makes you less unconscious about it when you’re doing it. And second is it gives you the ability to make better choices. You cannot make a choice without awareness, and often we make the wrong choices simply because we’re not in control of them, and they’re being made without us even realizing it.

Do not underestimate how powerful this is. I’ve seen it work hundreds of times and I know it can work for you. In fact, tracking is the most fundamental component to what I call your Super Habits System.

First you use tracking to create awareness, then you implement the 9 Super Habits to become ridiculously consistent with life-changing health, productivity, and mindset habits, and then you layer on the one question that accelerates everything you want to improve.

If you’re ready to take things to the next level, I run a 21 day challenge to walk you through the 3 step process to installing the Super Habits System for yourself and on the other side of it, you become an unstoppable force in this world!

Want to learn more about it? Click here!

We live in a world that has so much information. There’s so much to know, so much to learn, and so many perspectives to incorporate. For so long we’ve been taught that there’s nothing more important than getting an education, and while that still might be true, there’s an important nuance to it.

Learning is different than acquiring knowledge. 

The difference becomes more obvious when you hear Alex Hormozi’s definition of learning. He says that learning is “when there’s a change in behavior”. When you learn something it means that you took a new action when presented with the same stimulus.

Acquiring knowledge is different. Knowledge is simply about having the right information. But if you don’t use that right information, or apply it in a tangible way, then it doesn’t actually impact your life.

That’s the intention of the information, isn’t it? It’s not just to be able to rehearse good advice but use it to improve our health, time management, self-awareness, emotional control, and relationships.

Given how freely available information is, what we really need to master is the skill of implementation. That’s the differentiator - How successfully can we apply knowledge so that it leads to something real. In fact, this is so much more important that we’re better off investing time applying what we already know rather than trying to know something different. It’s through the implementation of information where learning happens, which is measured by achieving a new result. 

So take a minute to reflect on that. Do you have a way to incorporate what you know into your daily routines and processes? Do you feel like your life changes in meaningful and tangible ways after you finish reading a book, listen to a podcast, or fall short of a goal?

This is why it’s so important to have a high-quality self-improvement operating system. Your operating system is your foundational process for your self growth and if you feel like you’re experiencing a lot and consuming a lot but not actually learning anything, then your current operating system is probably the bottleneck.

When you do upgrade your operating system, all of the knowledge you’ve acquired actually converts into real and tangible improvements in your life. Like a hose with a kink in it, the results in your life are ready to come pouring through once you create an environment that can support it. 

If you want to upgrade your Self Improvement Operating System and install what I call your Super Habits System, click here to unlock the health, productivity, and progress you’ve been working hard for.

Something that no one is above in life is having problems. That’s not to say that there’s something flawed about the system, but rather that the very essence of life is about solving problems.

I don't believe that all problems are the same. Some are very basic, like not having a safe environment to come home to or enough money to put food on the table. And some are more complex, like getting into an argument with a romantic partner.

I define a problem as “an unmet need”. When you label something as a problem it means that it’s not perfectly comfortable in your life. Something is being agitated or irritated, and it’s impacting your well-being. The size of the need determines the size of the irritation and therefore, the size of the problem.

What this means is that we’re naturally motivated to take action in ways that alleviate our problems and address our underlying, unmet needs.

You might notice that this explanation is integrating a bit with Maslow’s Hierarchy Of Needs. Not having money to put food on the table is an unmet need for survival. Getting into an argument with a partner is a reflection of a need for more love and connection.

As we continue to step our way higher up the pyramid, where the “needs” are less significant and the problems are less dire to solve, they create problems all the same.

And then when we get to the top of Maslow’s Hierarchy Of Needs, we find ourselves seeking self-actualization.

What is self-actualization? I’d describe it as a need to be the very best version of ourselves and to maximize our contribution to the world.

This need is insatiable. Complete self-actualization can never be achieved. And it means that we’ll always have an unmet need and therefore, we’ll always have a problem.

So maybe this understanding will help you reframe the way you think about problems. Rather than seeing them as inconveniences in our lives, what if they’re actually stepping stones for our personal evolution? That’s what it’s there for at the top of the Hierarchy Of Needs, so why can’t it be true for every problem you experience no matter the need?

Problems are indications that there’s room for growth, for expansion, for improvement. And if that’s the ultimate purpose of life, then we should try to be thankful for the problems we face no matter the form they take. 

I don’t mean to discredit or minimize the hardship you might be facing from some of the problems in your life, but instead give you a new perspective you can use to approach them differently, and like a video game advance to the next level

Do you remember the fairytale “Goldilocks And the Three Bears”? It’s basically a story about a little girl named Goldilocks on her quest for comfort trying out chairs, porridge, and beds, finally settling on what is 'just right' for her. 

We’re all Goldilocks in our own way looking to find what’s ‘just right’ for us and in every aspect of our lives.

The process of discovering your ‘just right’ starts with the basics. We need to be self-aware of what we want (what our preferences are, how we like it, what feels right to us) and we need to accept ourselves and that preference, despite the criticism, judgment, or difference in opinion we might face.

Now how do we figure that out? First we need to understand the spectrum that’s out there. There are few things in life that are truly black and white - we need to find our shade of gray that’s ‘just right’ for us. We get there through trial and error, and experimentation and feedback, to better understand what we’re looking for. 

Like Goldilocks - She had to eat hot porridge and sit in an uncomfortably hard chair to learn what she liked.

Going beyond the fairytale, what’s equally important to accept is that your preferences can change. What you wanted before could be undesirable now. Your definition of success might change when you start a family. 

But you know what? We should change our minds! What’s ‘just right’ should change. As the world evolves around you, your way of fitting into it must evolve as well.

However, we see it as a weakness to change our mind on something. Almost like we’re giving up or quitting and it causes us to stick with things that are not right for us for too long.

That’s when we come back to the basics - Being self-aware of what you want right now, and accepting of that without concern of what others think. We get to run the experimentation process again with curiosity to figure out what feels ‘just right’ now in a different season of life, with different context.

The main source of disappointment I see in people is they fail to live up to the expectation they have for themselves. But when that expectation was crafted in a certain environment, like working out every day for an hour in your mid-twenties, you’re setting yourself up for failure when you hold yourself to that same standard but now you’re in your mid-30s and have two kids under 5.

Just like Goldilocks, feel it out, see what you want, align with your preferences, and boldly state what you think is ‘just right’ for you. And as long as you believe it, that’s all that matters.