Self Improvement Daily Podcast

Alright, remember when we learned so many life lessons, like “The golden rule of treating people the way you want to be treated”, or “sharing is caring”.  Well, I want to talk about the phrase, “Actions speak louder than words”.  

This was brought to my attention, indirectly, by an article I read that was written by Kaja Perina, the Editor in Chief of Psychology Today.  In the article, Perina talks about how our true intentions usually can be hidden in our words but can be seen pretty clearly in our behavior, particularly when we are faced with challenging situations.

So, in challenging situations, let your actions speak louder than words, and put your positive intentions on display.

First, this is a good tactic from a conflict resolution perspective. If you respond to conflict in a positive way, as shown by your actions and genuine desire to come to an agreement, then your perspective in the argument will be more valued and the conflict short lived. But, your actions shouldn’t only convince others of your intentions. They should also convince you. Your actions have a crazy way of influencing your physiology and creating a cycle that rewards that behavior. So, by going out of your way to help someone else, whether it be a random act of kindness or a good friend, the action induces a cascade of positive effect that can manifest in other areas or your life.

It’s simple, Let your actions speak louder than words by choosing to act.  It will say more than words ever could.

This message demonstrates how powerful our minds are. This messages is shared by Katherine Miller, who introduces how changing one word can change your life.

"Today's tip is a simple way to finally stop relying on sheer willpower to stay on that diet, cut out unhealthy habits, stop dating and keeping toxic people in your life and more. Researchers have discovered the best way to get every one of these thing accomplished is to do one simple word switch. Replace the word 'can't with 'don't'. It is that simple. Instead of saying, 'I can't drink sodas', when your friend offers you a coke and you are on a diet, say ' I do not drink soda', and then replace that soda with water. While don't and can't seem like different side of the same coin, physiologically, they are worlds apart. The word don't implies that we are making a choice,and we have control over our actions. While the word can't tells our brain someone else is controlling us and we are being deprived, even if that is not the case. This triggers an automatic subconscious desire to break free and even repel grab that coke or date that person you know you should not be dating".

Have you gotten dressed and ready for the day yet? If not, then hear out this little tidbit. And if you have, keep this in mind for tomorrow.

Go ahead and put on something red. It sounds a little ridiculous, but there’s truth to it. Studies show that people rate themselves as more attractive, powerful, and prestigious when wearing red. In turn, you feel more confident throughout the day.  

Living with confidence has a weird way of attracting people to you. You become a more appealing conversational partner, you are sought after more often to provide input, and you are someone that people generally want to spend more time around. You are viewed as a leader, and with this attention you may discover new opportunities and interests that used to be out of your scope. Feeling confident affects your physiology, altering your hormone levels to help you take on challenges head first.  

However, don’t go buying 10 new red shirts, because this isn’t meant to work every day. Over time, our physiology becomes less sensitive to the stimulus of wearing red and we no longer feel the same extent of confidence.  

Now, that you’re in on the secret, use the power! Give it a try sometime this week and note how you feel. Then, save it for a special occasion, like a big meeting or a first date, and let the confidence exude!

Take the stairs. 

I realize many of us may not work in an environment that requires being on multiple floors, but for those who do, hear me out. As important as long, strenuous bouts of exercise are, it is equally important to incorporate exercise throughout your day rather than all at once. This approach complements our physiology’s natural process by extending the positive effects of exercise throughout the day, because the threshold to receive those benefits is lower than you might think. Experts believe that climbing just eight flights of stairs a day lowers average early mortality risk by 33%, and just two minutes extra stair climbing a day is enough to stop average middle age weight gain.  

How simple is that? It’s not rocket science to incorporate this tip. Make a conscious decision to get exercise in random moments. Another example of how you could do this is choosing to park in the back of a parking lot and walking a bit to your destination. 

When you’re sitting down at dinner and your friend leaves, or a service worker tells you to wait for a few moments to be helped at the front of a line, what is the first thing we all do?  We check our phones!  Why do we do this?  It’s a comfortable behavior, and we are familiar with everything on our phone, and it provides shelter from the crazy world around us. I mean who would just sit there and look around? That’s weird!

Well no, it’s actually a really good and beneficial thing to do, and here is why. First, it keeps you from hunching over your phone, and sitting or standing up with good posture reflects positive in your physiology. Second, we seldom take time to just be in the moment. Society is very fast paste these days, and setting aside time to be with yourself is valuable from a mental health perspective. Lastly, it’s a small way to break the habit of relying on our phones. We have developed a strange dependence on our phones that is pervasive in our lives and behavior. 50% of people feel uneasy when they don’t have their phones with them, and 61% of people keep their phone either under their pillow our next to their bed. Although technology and connectivity is important, just like any behavior it needs to be done in reasonable amounts.

So, resist the urge to take out your phone in non-stimulating situations. Or, better yet, if you’re really up to the task, choose to leave your phone behind for a while. Give it a try and see how in-tuned you are with everything else going on around you.

Alright, let’s talk dollars and cents. What is the safest place to put your money? I’ve heard real-estate is pretty good, or what about mutual funds? The answer to this question is neither of those, the best place to invest is in yourself.

This can be done in a number of ways. One thing you could do is get an education. The concepts you’ll learn and the ways that you’ll learn to think will benefit every part of your life. This can mean going to college, taking online courses, buying books, or whatever form of education reaches you best. Something else you can invest is your time. Dedicate a summer to learning a new trade, or working under an expert in your field for free. The time you spend doing these things with authentic intentions will set you up for future success. Or last, you could try investing in your body. This means eat right, exercise, have loving relationships, limit stress, and practice gratitude.  Doing the things necessary to have a healthy body is incredibly valuable because it allows you to live in a good mental state. So, be prepared to take advantage of an opportunity when it presents itself.       

Investing in yourself goes beyond financial gain and professional performance. It leaks into your mentality and approach towards life. You’ll feel more confident in your abilities, eager to take action, and fulfilled in your life. Success comes as a result of taking care of yourself, which is hard but important work. That is why investing in yourself emotionally, physically, financially, and spiritually, is the best thing you could ever do.

You’ve heard the expression, “be comfortable being uncomfortable”, haven’t you? It is important for anyone to be able to execute in situations that aren’t cozy or convenient. Well, there’s only one way to get better at situations like that, and it is exposure. But, this exposure doesn’t need to be hugely disruptive. It’s okay to put a toe in the water instead of jump into the deep end. In fact, it’s much more practical to easily introduce yourself to uncomfortable situations.

Break your routine in subtle ways.  

This concept is strangely effective. Breaking routine requires your brain to take conscious control of your actions and uproot the habit it is accustomed to acting within.  What this does is it activates different areas of your brain that usually aren’t active, strengthening neural connections that go underused and forming new connections among neurons. Our brains have the ability to adapt, so electing to put yourself in uncomfortable situations slowly changes our brain’s wiring for the better.

Something that I do is I set my wake up alarm for a weird time, like 6:37.  For whatever reason, It feels uncomfortable to that, but I do it anyway knowing that breaking my routine in a small way has great benefits. A fun example of this was an experiment I ran on myself when I brushed my teeth with my non-dominant left-hand everyday. I initially felt extremely uncoordinated and awkward doing it, but was shocked to see how quickly my motor cortex adapted to the exercise and became completely capable of the task.

Our brain and thought patterns are largely influenced by the way we feel and perceive things. For that reason, treating ourselves in a way that sets us up for success should be a priority. And we can do that by priming our brain to think a certain way simply by telling it how it feels. This is the concept of self talk.  

A great but a bit exaggerated example of this can be found in this viral video of a girl talking to herself in the mirror:  

Video 1

So, the tip is to use self-talk to your advantage, and that starts by knowing how. To create a positive setting, use affirmations in the first person. This is exactly what we just heard. But, when in a negative setting, it is more effective to dissociate a little from the message by talking in the third person. LeBron James handles a question when he decided to sign with a new team: 

Video 2

As you can probably tell, taking a step away from the situation makes internal thoughts feel a little more rational and controlled. This is something to give a try next time you start feeling overwhelmed.

Have you ever benefited from something somebody did out of the goodness in their heart? Afterwards, you tried to wrap your head around why they did it, how it brought value to them, and what their long term play was. Although it seems like there is no good reason for the gesture, oftentimes people do it for one simple to pay it forward.

The concept of pay it forward survives to keep a string of good karma going by serving other people without expectation. This can be done in response to someone else doing a good deed for you, or it could be done out of gratitude.  

So, try to pay it forward. It can be financial, by paying someone else’s toll or bus fare. It could be emotional, by taking the time to send a nice note to someone who could use a pick me up. Or chronological, by giving away your time to help someone through an issue they are having.

The benefits of paying it forward are associated with acquiring a broader understanding and appreciation for your life. By doing things for other people with nothing expected in return, your actions come from a place of sincerity that spurns self-reflection.  

Another thing to think about paying it forward is it's usually practiced by a superior, or someone in the position to offer value, to an inferior. This establishes a mentor-protege relationship that can be replicated in the future for generations, keeping the goodwill chain alive!

Try paying it forward sometime soon, either financially, emotionally, or with your time.