Happy New Year, and may 2019 be the best year yet for all of us. Let’s not rag too much on 2018, because a lot of very important things happened that have shaped the course of the rest of our lives.

So, instead of setting resolutions or goals, today let’s be appreciative of what 2018 did for us.  This approach has come to my attention from a few different angles recently.One is something I already talked about, which is end of year planning with YearCmpass, but after that a few powerful voices on LinkedIn independently introduced me to the concept of gratitude at the end of the year.  

First, is Kira Day, who encourages us to #ReflectAndShare. She has laid out a three step process of gratitude, focus, and motivation. Think about what you are most thankful for (gratitude), name a highlight from 2018 (focus on something positive), and state what you are most excited for in 2019 (motivation).  It’s the perfect trifecta.

Or, listen to what Brian Almeida and Scott Berty are doing. They started a gratitude campaign, (gratitude spelled GRATI2DE), at the end of the year to get people into the habit of practicing gratitude so that it is in full swing for when the New Year comes around. 

I highly suggest connecting with all three of these stars on LinkedIn (Kira Day, Brian Almeida, and Scott Berty) so you can be a part of everything they’re tackling in this New Year.

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When was the last time you tried something new? It could be as simple as going to a new restaurant, attending a new class, getting on a random phone call, or trying a different workout. A small disruption to your normal routine is highlighted in your mind as a focus point in your day and has the opportunity to radically shift your perception.

Try doing something new, just because. Last week, for no reason whatsoever, I decided to embark in a personal push-up challenge. Basically, this means I have found myself panting on the floor at work trying to knock a few out at random times throughout the day. What’s interesting is I’ve noticed that it has served as a little brain break from my work routine and refreshes my mind.  

A push-up challenge might not be for everyone, but there are a ton of ways to bring that small disruption to your routine. Also, the benefits of it are far-reaching. A Huffington Post article says that doing something new can stimulate creativity, help you overcome fears,and get to know yourself better.  

The easiest way to do something new is to say “yes” more often when people invite you to things. By accepting an offer you mentally commit to it, and your brain holds you to it because it prefers a state of consistency.  So, become a yes-person, put yourself out there, and do something new just because.

An important lesson I learned is to control the things that can be controlled. There are many factors in our life that influence the way things are. Realizing that many of those things are out of our control, and coming to terms with those results is an essential piece to a happy life.

For example, you can’t control the call a referee makes during a game, which very well could change who wins and who loses. But, what you can control is your effort, your preparation, and attitude. We all should evaluate our own performance and results from the lens that makes the most sense through what we can control.

Similarly, other people’s behavior could affect the way you are feeling, especially if you care about them and their well-being. But, at the end of the day, their behavior and choices are out of your control and should not dictate the way that you feel. Have confidence in yourself, and you will see that you can maintain that inner peace you are so dedicated to achieving.

Tony Robbins takes at least ten minutes every morning to do the following:

"We all want to be able to change the way we feel, and that's why I spend my life showing people what to do. Most people don't know emotion is created by motion. The way you move determines the way you feel.You have eighty different muscles in your face. For most people, this is the largest area of unemployment in the country. Everyday I say look, you got to have ten minutes to yourself. You don;t have ten minutes for yourself you don't have a life. We think we are just feeling what we are feeling, but if we don't take control of our environment, it takes control of us. The way I do this process is for ten minutes I put this music on and I do this massive change in my breathing so it erratically changes the way I feel. And then, I do this three step process. First, I do three minutes of gratitude. I think of three things that i'm really grateful for. Then, I do a three minute prayer for my family and my friends, and then I do a three minute process of the three things that I want to accomplish, and I see it as done. Sometimes I go twenty, but the idea is ten so there is no excuse not to do it".

There you have it. Gratitude, thoughts for loved ones, and three goals for the day. As simple as that.

Happy Holidays, and Merry Christmas to those who are celebrating. I wanted to take a quick moment to share a bit about what the Holidays mean to me, and challenge you to think about what the Holidays mean to you.

Our family’s celebration on the eve was entirely different from last year. Two new babies, a few unfortunate passings, and many major life transitions later, we were brought together to enjoy each other’s company.  It’s crazy to think about how much changes in so little time, but I guess that is a given in life.

A great tradition in my family is that we decorate the family tree.  What we do is collect memories and major milestones in ornaments, and reflect on great times as we retell those stories. Again, it reminds me of how quickly things change, and how the events that seemed like they were my entire world have already come and gone.

But, from all of that change, I have found consistency. The core group of people that I couldn’t be without. So for me, the Holidays are a great reminder to what sits at the core of my life.  What does the Holiday season mean to you?

It is so important to take the time to formalize your core principles.

When I started this process myself, it took me over a week to figure out what I truly hold most dear and what I take the most pride in. I still see this as a dynamic process, and my own core principles will always be re-evaluated based on new circumstances. Nonetheless, it is important to have them. For example, my core principles are Quiet Diligence, Dream Big, Enjoy the Journey, and Dependable Execution.

Having formal and explicit core principles provides a cornerstone for all decision making. If they truly reflect the person you want to be, then you can use them in any dilemma, with the point being that all decisions align with your overall vision and values. 

If having concise representations of complex concepts is difficult for you, like it was for me, then I suggest adding smaller affirmations that contribute to the larger core principle.  For example, within quiet diligence, one affirmation is “I believe in practicing humility and letting actions speak louder than words”.

In life we get rained on. We hear bad news, miss opportunities, and lose friendships. Times can be really hard and test your will. But, it’s all about how you greet those challenges and moments. Rain is meant to test your character and see what you’re made of.

To those things that beat you down and wore you out, can you think of what happened next? You evolved and changed to your new reality, and likely grew as a person.  Those moments are necessary sometimes because it takes hitting a new low to push a new ceiling.  Darren Hardy articulated this like a pendulum, you need to be far on one extreme to swing back and hit a high point on the other side.

So, “Be like a flower, survive the rain but use it to grow”. Adding a positive outlook to those negative moments will help you extract more out of them and become even more resilient to their power.

Let’s talk about leadership. As a leader you are required to make big decisions, keep the peace, and get everyone pointed in the same direction. A tactic many great leaders use is to lead by example, to be the one with their elbows in the dirt, delivering the energy, and executing on a day to day basis.  

I heard a really cool thought recently from Alex Pirouz, the CEO of LinkedInfluencer. He made the comment that true leaders don’t say “go”, they say “let’s go”.  I think this embodies how we can truly lead by example.

To enumerate, if we expand out the abbreviation" let’s" into it’s two components," let us", we can realize the power in the expression. By putting the command in the “We” form, it takes a more inclusive meaning that integrates the speaker into the action. This is called “we speak”, and it’s a very effective communication form for leaders. By making the choice to place themselves in the brunt of the action, they assert themselves as an equal in the group, rather than an authority figure, and is more likely to garner more support as a result.

So, the next time you are managing someone, choose to lead by example and say “let’s go”. Then, to stay consistent with that message, execute on that level, and you will earn a ton of respect from your team.