This lovely quote is actually in the form of a question, “Why fit in when you were born to stand out?”

Let’s first look at the state of culture. We are encouraged to conform and do what makes conventional sense in order to abide by general societal norms. Of course there are situations where this is appropriate. For instance, making sure not to behave in a way that jeopardizes someone else’s safety or ability to find joy. What about those times when that is not the case?

Many of the limits we place on ourselves are self-imposed, which often comes out of fear. Fear that challenging the norm will create problems for yourself or others. Fear that others will judge you for being different. Fear that you expressing yourself will do more harm than good. Fortunately, the results of these self-imposed fears are often misguided assumptions, overestimating the severity and consequences of your actions. You can overcome this by gaining self-awareness.

Now let’s look at the alternative. It takes something different to do something different. If you abide by all conventions then you can expect conventional results. We both know that’s not you, and lies within you to grow beyond average.

It literally is you! The uniqueness you offer, the experiences you’ve acquired, and your perspective of the world is beyond average. You offer something no one else can. When you allow yourself to express that, you can generate outcomes no one else is capable of. 

If you dream big and have aspirations to do something great, you can’t fit in, because greatness is never average. We were each born to stand out, and that’s something worth celebrating.

Our guest was Sarah Speers, who is a woman at the forefront of eating disorder advocacy and treatment. We often have awareness of things that we know we should or shouldn’t be doing, and we come up with rationalization strategies to justify our behavior. In the interview, Sarah reflected on a very common rationalization, “I’ll start tomorrow".

While Sarahs’ example is specific to her relationship with disordered eating, at the end she broadens it and explains how it applies more generally to making healthier choices. I mean think about it, haven’t we all told ourselves “I’ll start tomorrow” at some point? And then we find a way to justify our way out of doing it, or into giving in to the urge one last time. It could be food, exercise, porn, video games, alcohol, you name it! But knowing what we know now, that our brain has this rationalization strategy, we can be more aware of the times it’s prevalent in our lives.

When it comes down to it, all of us just want to be loved. It’s in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs and it’s something that is important to each and everyone of us. What’s interesting is, when we think about love, we think about receiving but we don’t think about giving it. And the thing is, it’s just as important.

A perfect example of this is an event I went to a few months ago that recently became top of mind again. I’ve gotten into a workout group called November project, and they’re a very supportive and fun-loving group, so they hosted a cheering section at a 10k to root their friends on in the race! I decided to go and support, see some friends, why not? And I’m so glad I did. It was very different experience than I expected because, there were 10 people we were there to specifically cheer for, but continued on to support thousands more who were participating. 

And since we were there, we poured our heart and soul out for each and every person that passed us, complete strangers, rooting them on, just because.

It was powerful to look someone in the eye, say something encouraging, and see their response. You could see their spirit lift and mentality shift all because they felt supported. It was also powerful to serve someone while expecting absolutely nothing in return. The feeling of taking a complete position of service was really grounding.

And that brings us back to the first point I made. When it comes to thinking about love, we default to receiving love and not really giving love. But what happens is, when you give love, it ends up serving you in the way that you feel validated by serving others.

Give love for no reason. Wish someone a good day, give out a high five, shoot someone a smile. What this does is it creates ripples in this world that invites more goodness, returning back to you stronger, and helping you to perpetuate it.

Have you ever claimed to have the next billion dollar idea? I think we all have. There’s a lesson to be learned in that. One route is that you fail to pursue the opportunity, which requires its own breakdown, but the other side of it is that a “billion dollar idea” actually fails. This is because not all good ideas are a good opportunity. No one would know this better than our favorite pitch expert and former SISD guest Brant Pinvidic.

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So, I hope that all makes sense. it’s about bringing something into fruition not just starting and getting close. There’s a genius to understanding that, of the 8 billion dollar ideas we have, they still need the right timing, the right team, and the right context. It’s about having the awareness to know if there’s more fuel to the idea than just the concept. This translates to life and life opportunities. Just because something is available to you doesn’t always mean you should pursue it. It’s a fine line between humility and ambition that we’re all quantifying for ourselves.

Today I wanted to share a communication technique I learned from Bill Sanders, that was brought to my attention again by Darren Hardy. It is a way to manage expectations at work, and it is brilliant.

Maybe it’s best viewed in the lens of an example. Your boss swings by your desk and tells you that you need to work on project A. “Hey Brian, just got word from up top we need to get this done ASAP. Can you do that?”.

You can’t say no right? Well, you don’t have to!

“Absolutely, I am more than happy to get that done. I am currently working on Project B and Project C, which one of those would you like this to take priority over?”

Essentially, what just happened in this conversation I had with myself, is that you were supportive of the work added to your plate, respectful of its urgency, and then subtly communicated that there is a cost associated with getting it done that you want them to make the decision on. It’s a way you can stand up for yourself without standing out.   

What you did is you addressed the real factors built into the task, which are ability and time, saying that you by all means have the ability to get it done, and can make the time if they deem it priority over your other tasks.

So, when you feel like you’re being stretched a little thin, and something gets added to your plate, you now have a way of enthusiastically taking the project on while standing up for yourself and your time.

“You are so much more than you are going through”.

Isn’t that just refreshing to hear? Sometimes we forget how strong we are, and what we’re capable of. We forget that in the face of any challenge, we have what it takes to overcome it within us. The only person that can tell you differently is yourself.

That’s not to say life isn’t full of challenges, it absolutely is, and it’s meant to test us. We face adversity that tests our will. We lose motivation and desperately search for it. We get anxious and stressed when it seems like we can’t.

But let me ask you this, has anything you’ve faced ever won? Well I can tell you it hasn’t. It might not have gone according to plan or worked out in an ideal way, but you live to fight another day. In my book, that means you won.

It means that in every instance so far, you have had more within you than whatever it is you were going through. The best part is those experiences have only helped to make you capable of more. Every challenge faced generates experience that you can use in the next one. Be grateful for the role it played in your life. Extract the lessons and growth. Keep on winning like you have every time before.

You are so much more than you are going through. I believe it, and I know you do too.

Well, this is special. I came across a recorded message of Kobe Bryant when he wasn’t able to attend an award ceremony, and it almost sounds like it was made to be shared after his unexpected and unfortunate passing. Kobe’s illustrious career earned him elite accolades, titles, and historical recognition, but what is most impressive about Kobe are his methods. He would out work you. He would out work anyone. His singular focus from a very young age, and dedication to putting in the time to improve himself shows all of us that we too can achieve great things.

Central to the message you’re about to hear is his mentioning of doing something you love. The work becomes enjoyable when it’s contributing toward a passion. May Kobe’s legacy live on for generations, and may this be only the beginning of lessons we’ll learn from him as time goes on.

I had just sat down, waiting to board a flight at the airport when the gate next to me started boarding. This means there’s a big announcement, people lining up, time to go, right? Since I wasn’t focused in my work I took a moment to observe, and it was something really special.

The gate attendant, as she was announcing boarding groups, added her own style to it. “A as in awesome, group A boarding. Now up, Group B, B as in Beautiful. C as in charming Group C welcome aboard. D for delightful, come on in".

She didn’t have to do that, in no way is that a requirement of her job, but she did a small positive act just because. And if this doesn’t sound motivational let me explain. Everyone in the A group, on a subconscious level, identified with “Oh, I’m awesome”. As short lived as that mental processing was, it left an impression that creates micro ripples in the rest of their psyche. Same goes for feeling beautiful, charming, delightful. Doesn’t that sound motivational? And all because one person chose to act in a small, positive way.

Now, if you don’t believe me and the psychology behind what I just explained, you can’t deny the effect it had on me. I was moved, inspired by her choice, so here I am sharing it with you. Then you might share it with someone else, and this seemingly pointless act has propagated to reach many.

In your life, the small things matter. The smile at a checkout stand. The good morning in passing. The extra dish in the sink. Our actions have ripples larger than we can imagine, and to be a part of a greater world we can help those ripples begin.

How do you become an overnight success?

It sounds pretty appealing. We associate success with fulfillment, purpose, and validation, which are components we all are seeking in our life.

We all know someone who has been an overnight success. Other ways you might have heard it are they “blew up” or “are killing it”. Their path seemed so easy. One day they woke up and boom! They’re crushing it and they have all of this inbound interest and became the asset other people wanted to work with because “success” follows them around.

But structuring success as a process that happens overnight is narrow-minded. At first, it may seem lucky or coincidental, but that is far from the truth. It’s about awareness.

That overnight success has actually been compounding micro success for quite some time. That measurement has been internal, and no one else is truly aware of the progress, so they’re comparing the new successful state to the previous state which is zero. That way it seems like the success came overnight, when in reality it was brewing and stewing over time without anyone noticing it. 

This is an issue, because what happens is we feel like and know we’re making progress and no one else sees it. This makes us question or motivation to push on because we rely on others to validate our own interpretations, and often pushes us toward quitting or giving up.

So, What's the secret to being an overnight success? Work hard for a long time, with faith in your process and confidence in your ability!