As you may know by now, I am very purpose-driven. I’m in a fortunate position where I can put my efforts into things that I really believe in. As one speck on one planet in one of billions of galaxies, I am very aware that there is something larger going on than what exists within myself, and in order to tap into that I turn to purpose.

Purpose is that heartwarming feeling you get when you hold a child or nephew who depends on you. It’s the rush you get when you connect the dots on something that will impact a lot of people. It’s the buzz you feel when you see someone’s smile after having helped them with something. It's no accident, we experience these positive sensations because we are evolutionarily designed to be rewarded by connecting with purpose.

The amazing part about discovering your purpose is it is unique to every single person. Everyone finds meaning on their own given their own life history, the situations they’ve encountered, and the lessons they’ve learned. However it is often difficult to communicate about purpose because it is so visceral, and as a result it’s not something we share about as often as we should.

Well that’s where I think things need to change. In order to connect to purpose, we need to connect with other people navigating their own purpose journey. Learning about their experience helps us relate to our own. Visit www.forpurpose.com to surround yourself with change-makers all dedicated to making the world a better place!

‍

Recently I heard a term that I thought was really funny, and all too accurate, and I wanted to share it with you. It relates to the biggest issue people have with personal development, which is how easy it is to say it’s a priority but how hard it is to actually practice it consistently.

Sometimes, instead of these resources being true sources of growth and development through self-help, they become shelf-help. They’re the books and magazines that are really good at collecting dust and not so good at teaching you the lessons inside their pages. We’ve all been there where we feel motivated to buy a new book but never get around to reading it.That’s shelf-help.

But more broadly, I think this thought also comments on the importance of being an active participant in your self-growth. The learnings, lessons, and perspectives you’re seeking can only be incorporated when you put effort into educating yourself. It’s not the idea of trying new things that helps you grow, it’s the doing and experiencing it. It’s not the purchase of a book, podcast, or course that helps you create the life you desire, it’s implementing the practices and techniques into your own life. That’s the core difference between self-help and shelf-help - It’s using the resources you have access to versus merely having access to them.

Accessing resources doesn't need to be huge. As you know some short form content on a daily basis will serve you just fine! Reading a book summary gives you the general gist. It’s doing something, anything, that allows you to truly pursue your personal development.

You should be proud of yourself, and I want you to feel proud of yourself, because you really do deserve it. You are doing some many things right. I’m sure you’ve navigated difficult situations, had your ethics and morals tested, made a mistake you had to make up for, offered really good ideas, and adjusted to major changes in your life. You’ve been through all of that and made it out the other side to get to this moment.

You have been there for yourself every step of the way. Of course, with phases and periods where things weren’t so good, and maybe they still don’t feel like they are, but all of your experiences have made you uniquely trained to offer a certain perspective that the world needs.

Have you failed and failed big? Good! That means you’re trying, and it’s the only thing you can do. So much is out of your control, but your effort and intentions are not, so measure yourself on those and be proud of how you’ve applied yourself.

I was having an issue with this myself so in my evening routine I added one simple practice - To write one sentence about something I did that day that I am proud of. When you’re forced to sit down and think about it, you’ll realize how much you actually do, the grace you have in handling certain situations, the ways you act within your integrity, and you’ll become more aware of reasons to be proud more often.

“Be proud of yourself and everything you are.” You’ve proven it time and again, and I hope you’re starting to believe it.

‍

Amidst all of the liars and cheaters and hypocrites in the world, there is one universal law - You cannot fake the truth. Sure, you could be convincing in telling an alternate story, and it’s very possible that other people will believe you, but sharing anything but the truth has consequences that will come back in one form or another.

The reason being, you know what the truth is. You can lead someone else to genuinely believe anything, but you can’t persuade yourself to do the same. And that disconnect puts off an energy that influences your environment and brings more of it back into your life, you start experiencing indirect repercussions. Some people call it "karma", some people call it “getting what you deserve”, but I don’t think this phenomenon deserves a positive or negative label. It’s a “just is” of the world.

And you probably already knew this. You were probably told from a young age to always tell the truth, and you have to appreciate the wisdom in that. It’s an important lesson that has been passed down so that we know how to properly relate with this universal law.

The caveat is, sometimes there’s a good reason not to tell the truth. Call it a white lie. Your partner feels insecure about something so you say something that makes them feel better about it. Your boss asks about progress at work and you tell him or her that you’ve already got it done when maybe you have it on the list to do today. While these are small non-truthful statements, remember it’s about the energy associated with them. And that energy resides in your intentions - What was your reason for saying it, and how can you deliver and affirm that reason.

The truth is exactly as it is, you can’t make it up or fake it, and you’re always held accountable to it.

Things just keep seeming to get busier and busier don’t they? Sometimes it comes in waves, but I think a lot of the time it’s just our new reality. How many times have you heard someone say, “Sounds great! I just need to wait for things to cool down.” You might have even said it yourself, only to find that a week passes and a whole new list of things have been added to your plate.

Is that the perpetual cycle that we want to be our existence? I understand the value of being busy, trust me, but when this stuff comes up at the expense of the things you want to do, it’s a little harder to comprehend and it’s not going to resolve itself.

Even look at the phrase “Waiting for things to cool down.” I think we know by know what happens when we wait for things to get done. They don’t. So if we truly want to free up more time, to do more of the things we want to do, we need to take a proactive approach. I’ve recently implemented a few of these things into my life that I wanted to share.

First thing you need to do is become aware of how you’re spending your time. I wrote out my responsibilities and the time required to fulfill them, and am committed to tracking my behavior for the next month to gain more awareness. Then, and I haven’t gotten to this part yet, make a plan to take action based on what you learn. What things are your pouring time into unnecessarily? What priority is being neglected? That will give you the insight you need to change something so that things start going differently.

To me, that’s how things can actually cool down for you, it’s not waiting for things to happen, it’s taking ownership of your time and getting more intentional about how you spend it.

Susan McPherson, a serial connector in the social good space, has game-changing theories about growing your network. She utilizes the Gather-Ask-Do method of building meaningful relationships, allowing for reciprocal value to be shared and created for all parties involved. If you want to have stronger professional relationships most definitely can implement Susan’s Gather Ask Do framework, and your best suited starting at the beginning by learning how to gather the right community.

The Gather phase requires you to first become self-aware about what you’re looking for in a relationship, then also identify how you can build a community around your own goals. Then finally, it involves learning what you have to offer those people to help them with their personal mission. A theme in Susan’s book “The Lost Art of Connecting” is all about how you can lead with helping others, and the Gather phase is very much about being of service to the right group of people.

Our days start when we open our eyes. Some people have morning routines, some people Zombie walk to the bathroom, and some people hit the "Snooze" button. That first decision really does set the tone for your day, and it’s important to get it right. Regardless, when you do get up and start your day, there are a few really unique opportunities you can take advantage of.

One of those opportunities is the idea of being creative before you’re reactive. Once you check your email, check social media, or check your messages you immediately start answering to other people’s lives and no longer can completely live your own. You’re reminded you need to update your car registration, you hear some good news from a friend and you want to chat with them about it, your work makes a few requests of you... While all of those things need to be addressed in their own time, the second you’re exposed to them it shifts your mind and you start becoming reactive to their presence.

However, there is a lot of value to being creative every single day, and that ability is diluted when you start answering to other people. You can cut that out by silencing the inputs. Put your phone on silent, and don’t scroll through social media until you’ve taken the time to live in your own world and bring your own ideas to fruition. Without the external stimulation, during exercise you might start brainstorming ideas you can use later to improve the quality of your work. Or since you didn’t see that stress-inducing email, you can sit deeper into a personal meditation routine and align with your values. 

Creativity takes so many forms, and unfortunately we're pulled out of it so often by the pings, dings, and rings of life. Give yourself some time away from that, and make sure you have the opportunity to be creative before you become reactive.

The quote "Kill them with kindness" is funny because it’s such an oxymoron. The words “Kill” and “Kindness” don’t seem to belong in the same sentence, but it makes perfect sense when you think about it from a broader context. 

When we’re referencing the idea of “killing” in this quote, we’re not talking about taking a life. We’re talking about killing their argument, killing their vibe, or killing their accusations. This expression is usually used when someone has wronged you in some way, or they’re coming at you about something. When you choose to respond with kindness you’ll find that kindness is effective in deflecting the situation and often leads to a positive resolution. 

A perfect example of this is if someone is upset and challenging you, or disagreeing with something you did - Tell them "thank you". “Thanks for bringing this to my attention.” What can they do in response to that? They can’t keep digging into you because now it’s out of place. You’ve changed the nature of the situation. 

Or if there's someone who just doesn’t like you, or you don’t get along well with them, when you come across that person they might try to instigate confrontation or conflict. But don’t stoop to their level, treat them with kindness and respect, and they won’t know what to do because they were so prepared to battle you.

That’s the more appropriate meaning of the phrase. Be pleasant, mitigate conflict, have empathy, and "Kill them with kindness." That’s the real way to win.