Do you ever feel like something happens and it is the end of the world, only to realize a few days, weeks, or months later, it wasn’t as big of a deal as you thought?  It’s human nature and you’re not alone, it happens all the time.  And I’ll admit, those emotions feel very real, but there are things you can do to make them more manageable in that moment.  

Try to write down your issue so you can revisit it at a later date, or as I call it, “Write and Revisit”.  This came up in a podcast interview I was in recently, and I wanted to take this time to share my thoughts in full.

The Write and Revisit Method works because the physical action of writing your concern down addresses the issue face on, as you are actively working through it. This then operates in two ways.  First, when you reread the problem immediately, you can look at it more objectively because at that point it has been removed from yourself, and you may already feel better about the situation. Second, and what I prefer to do, is I write down the issue in my journal “The Happiness Project”, ensuring that I am going to reread that segment in a years time. This puts everything into perspective and reminds me that time and life will go on regardless of this issue, which helps me move beyond it.  

Write and Revisit doesn’t have to be in year long spurts. It can be done in the amount of time feels right to you. What is important is that you write it with the intent to revisit it. So, with the next end-of-the-world event you face, try the “Write and Revisit” Method, and see how it makes you feel.

Matt Sheldon, a professional soccer player and founder of the insanely popular YouTube page and Brand called “Become Elite”.  Matt tells us a bit about a technique that helped him get to the top, called the 80 20 rule.

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Interesting concept, the majority of successes come from doing just a few things really well.  What little things do you do lead to your success?

As a kid, do you remember hearing the expression “you can be whatever you want to be”? Even though I’m not a professional athlete, or an author, , I still love playing sports and writing! I understand that life happens and it’s not always practical to be whatever you want to be, but that doesn’t mean you should stop working on things you love.

Lets discuss the importance of having a passion project. Whether that means you have an art studio in your house, a business on the side, or a self-care hobby, it is important to stay in touch with things you are passionate about.  

Beyond your extrinsic reasons, having a passion project will motivate you to be productive and efficient during the day so you can get to something you really enjoy. This outlet will also energize you because it wakes up your brain and stimulates your body. It also will get you in the habit of putting more effort into your work.

To start pursuing your passion, you first need to know what you’re passionate about. Simply reflect on your 5 happiest moments this past year and what caused that emotion. Then find a way to tie into your daily activity.

Let listen to this Ted Talk snippet from Phil Boissiere and a technique he developed to simplify how we practice mindfulness.

"Mindfulness. It has really become the buzz word in recent times. There is an abundant amount of research illustrating the positive affect that mindfulness practice has on the quality of life, improved focus, and decreased stress. Unfortunately, most of us tend to pump the brakes when we think about sequestering even a small amount of time to practice mindfulness. I paired one of the most basic breathing techniques alongside one of the most basic mindfulness techniques, thus, the three-by-three method was born. The three-by-three method is extremely simple. All you are going to do is identify one physical object in the environment, name it, and take one deep breath, and repeat it three times".

Next time you feel stress or want to re-center your emotions, try the three-by-three method to practice mindfulness.

You can avoid falling victim to the hindsight bias by practicing objectivity. Our brain is flooded by stimuli throughout the day, and it is impossible to remember everything. For that reason, our brains choose to fixate on certain things in particular that seem like they are worth remembering and everything else is purged. This is why it seems like something always happens, because the times it doesn’t happen aren’t encoded into long-term memory.  

Now how does this change our lives?  Well, the things we choose to remember are often negative and our mood and focus change as a result. With more distractions, we can’t get as much done. The fix is to take a moment to step away from an aggravating situation and look at it objectively. "Do I actually always miss this light?"  "Does he actually take long lunches?"  In some cases, sure, your feelings are justified, but very often you realize that your assumption is pretty flawed. Don’t let those negative emotions get you when they shouldn’t.

So, the next time you are annoyed about something that just doesn’t seem to be going your way, take a moment to reflect and see if that’s actually the way it is.  

Will power. It’s something you’re either born with, or your not, right?  Wrong!  Studies show that will power is actually utilized like a muscle, and that it depletes in strength when you use it just like a muscle does.  There’s a really cool study done at Case Western University that I want to quickly share.  One group of participants were asked to eat a cookie, and another group was asked to eat a raddish with a plate of cookies next to it that they couldn’t have. Then both groups did a difficult puzzle, and the study found that those who resisted the cookie gave up sooner because they had already expended their will power.

So today’s tip is to train your will power, and there are two ways to do that, two will power workouts.  

The first workout - set yourself up for success by writing down what you need to do and when it needs to be done by.  This is like stretching your muscle and getting it ready to go.  Workout 2 is to condition yourself and build discipline.  make a plan for how you can tackle the task gradually and follow through with it.  

I’m feeling stronger already!  Give those two exercises a try next time you don’t feel like doing something.

I’m a big believer in the effects of bottom up processing, meaning your body can influence your mind’s activity. So, I try to create good physical habits that influence my mind positively.  

So here it is. At the end of a run, or a workout, or sometimes even after I finish a big task, I clench my fists and hold my arms above my head to celebrate like a boxer.  I probably look really dumb doing it but it feels good.

Physiologically, your body releases positive neurotransmitters as a result of your strong body posture, and that paired with an endorphin high and the satisfaction of having a good workout makes for a pretty nice kick. I usually talk to myself to pump myself up, but I don’t need to get into that one. This whole process energizes me to transition into my next task and keep the momentum going.  

I know it’s corny but give it a try. At the end of your next work out, stretch your arms out above your head, clench your fists, and hold it like a champion!  You’ll feel like you can conquer the world.  

Legend says that this was taught to man by the immortal buddha, and since has been used by people like Tony Robbins, Oprah Winfrey, and Denzel Washington. It is about believing in something so much that you can will it into existence. This is called the Law of Attraction. 

It’s an all or nothing mentality, and may not be for everyone, but at the very least it will be a useful insight into the minds of some of the worlds’ great successes. It’s a process that involves repetitive behaviors that condition your mind of some truth. This is done through affirmations, visualization, and performance checks. The law of attraction is on display in the behavior of one fierce competitor, UFC fighter connor mcgregor, and his rise to the top.  

Connor’s mentality clearly demonstrates an all in, unwavering vision for his life and what he wants. It is incredible to see the power of the mind and how it can get results.