Self Improvement Daily Podcast

In every professional setting there is something important to note. You likely have someone who influences the way that you do your work, and someone whose work you can influence. As for any team, it is important to get multiple opinions, perspectives, and sets of eyes on a project to ensure it is done well. Often times, that oversight can be very critical and makes us question what the other person thinks of us. This only happens when we choose to see it that way, which is within our control.

The first and most important factor in accepting feedback is to manage emotion. It is human nature to be resistant to differing opinions, and we often defend ourselves to maintain our comfort zone and status quo. This response is often driven by emotion and can distract us from the intent of the communication, which is improvement.

First, when presented with feedback, don’t view it as a opposing opinion. Merely view it as an opinion. Treating the feedback as a data point, not a personal attack, helps us dissociate from the negativity in the feedback and take the actionable components as good insight. Then, to be sure that next steps aren’t emotionally charged, circle back on the project after some time has passed to approach the challenge, and all of the solutions to it, in a less emotional and more objective state.

Similarly, when feedback is positive, don’t let it occlude your mind from other possibilities. We have a tendency to grab onto the opinions that align with our own impressions, creating a stronger contrast with the different opinion. View all feedback, criticism, and praise as an independent opinion that will be evaluated equally when the right time comes.

I had a pretty big realization the other day that is testing my own definition for self improvement. My philosophy toward personal development is very similar to that presented in the Compound Effect by Darren Hardy, which is all about how small things add on top of each other. For that reason, I have tried to instill great micro-habits that serve as the foundation for that growth, knowing I would reap the benefits in time as they compound on top of each other.

However, I now realize I haven’t paid enough attention to the complimentary part of that argument that the same things occurs with bad habits and poor decisions.  Removing the negative is just as important as adding the positive when it comes to personal development, and it’s something I want to spend some time exploring.

It’s not just about adding something new to your day to be more productive and feel like you got more done, it’s also about efficiency, and doing less of those things you know are wasting your time and energy. A good example is instead of focusing on how many days this week you worked out, start keeping note of how many nights you resisted the urge to make yourself a bowl of ice cream. It’s not as glamorous, but subtracting is just as effective as adding when creating a self-improvement lifestyle.

So, in your life, think about the things you might want to cut out and dedicate some of your attention in those areas to reap benefits. It’s not always about working harder, it’s also about working smarter.

I came across a great story, and I wanted to share it with you. The message is clear, but the means a bit unexpected.

“A man saw a snake being burned to death and decided to take it out of the fire. When he did, the snake but him causing excruciating pain.  The man dropped the snake, and the reptile fell right back into the fire.  So, the man grabbed a metal pole, took the snake out of the fire, and saved its life.”

Someone who was watching approached the man and said “that snake bit you. Why are you still trying to save it?”. The man replied” “the nature of the snake is to bite, but that’s not gonna change my nature, which is to help. Do not change your nature simply because someone harms you. Do not lose your good heart, only learn to take precautions.”

The events in this story remind me of something that is extremely important to me, which are intentions. And I feel like that word is synonymous with the concept of “nature” in this story. The snake’s intention was to protect itself, not to hurt.  The man realizes that and decides not to punish the snake for its actions, and follow through on his own intentions, which was to help.  

The observable world is one thing, and many events can be misconstrued into the wrong interpretation. The purest form of behavior is behavioral intent, and seeing through the action into that intent will help you decide how to act.

Gain clarity on your own intentions, and don’t compromise them just because it appears that a situation doesn’t call for them. It’s not in your nature.

Lets talk about taking control of our lives and the events that transpire in it, because we are a result of everything we experience.  

The mentality is best summarized as things that happen to you, versus things that happen for you. Let’s dive a little deeper into that.

When things happen to you, it means that you believe you are merely the byproduct of the event, and not the focus. This is a victim mentality because things seem out of your control, and you inherit the situations you are presented. And having a passive relationship with the events in your life prompts you to be reactive in nature.

But, when you believe things happen for you, you realize everything plays a necessary role in your journey.  And it places you as the central focus for the events, because they are so uniquely essential to your development and path. It reminds you that there is a greater sense of purpose, a destination you are meant to reach, and the only way to get there is by embracing your current environment.

Sounds a little different huh? It’s not all reading between the lines, but the way you read is a choice. Do you want things to happen to you, where you aren’t even considered in the grander decision, or that things happen for you? Whatever happens is the logical next step in your adventure?

Let’s talk about something that isn’t very glamorous, but is an incredible resource if managed correctly which is data. Data is all around us, and when treated correctly, can help us draw conclusions that were otherwise invisible.  It is the most reliable metric to make any decision off of because it comes from simulation and trial.

One of the world leaders in data is Sparta Science, and specifically Dr. Phil Wagner, and the work he does to use data to improve athletic performance. 

Dr. Wagner collects data, finds correlation between different sets of data, and translates it into usable terms so that coaches and players can benefit from the findings.  The value he offers is a solution coaches didn’t know they were missing, a deficiency they were unaware of, and when using data, the same can happen for you.

For example, I used data to make changes to my diet. When I started recording my meals at night, I realized two things. First, I skipped too many meals without realizing it, and that I ate out more often that I wanted to. With that finding, I have been able to prepare meals ahead of time and provide a solution to both of those problems, but didn’t realize the extent of the problem until it was presented in data.

So whatever you’re curious about, start keeping track of it, and see what you find.

I came across a great post from a friend of mine that I wanted to share. The piece was written by Manu Goswami, aka Swish, who is a Top 20 under 20 entrepreneur, serial startup founder, keynote speaker, the list goes on. But this time, his insight struck me in a particularly interesting way. He shared 6 adages, and I want to break them down one at a time.

Before you pray, believe. This is an inherent part of faith is that you yourself have the confidence that it is possible, which is belief.

Before you speak, listen. Every conversation has a give and take, and in order to communicate what you want, you must know where the other person’s mind is at.

Before you spend, earn. Not just money, it can be time, emotion, anything. You must first be in a position to give before you do.

Before you write, think. It’s important to have structure in life to create what you set out to create. Take time to prepare before acting.

Before you quit, try. You can’t know what you think about something until you do it, and it’s only after you do it that you can understand it isn’t right for you.

And last, before you die, live. This is pretty self-explanatory, but we each should try to get the absolute most out of the time we spend here together.

I am fascinated by dreams. In high school, I kept a dream journal to try and pick apart the subliminal meaning in my dreams and access my subconscious. It was a fun and creative activity because it made me find associations and challenge my own perceptions of myself, which undoubtedly contributed to the person I am today.  The adventures I went on while asleep wasn’t reality, but it was relatable enough for me to draw a few riveting conclusions

It is so interesting that we tend to use the word, "dream", when referencing what we want to accomplish in life. It paints our aspirations with haze and implies that our goals aren’t realistic or rooted in reality.  It also implies that we’re never going to achieve what we set out to. I think it’s kind of a cynical association, but it creates this scarcity to our dreams that motivates us to pursue them.

Nightmares are equally unfathomable and unrealistic. However, they leave a strong discouraging impression. The same thing happens when we work toward our goals. We experience setbacks, nightmares if you will, that sap are motivation.  Also, remember your next dream is right around the corner, and it might be the breakthrough you’ve been looking for to take a big step forward toward your goals. “Don’t stop dreaming just because you had a nightmare”.

Today’s tip comes from Shark Tank Star and entrepreneur Daymond John.  He achieved wild financial success by creating and scaling his apparel brand FUBU, but says it wasn’t solid business practice, smart spending, or anything financially related that led him to success - it was doing something that he loved.  Listen to Daymond describe that passion:

John said, "What changed my life wasn't the fact that I wanted to become a millionaire. What changed my life was the fact that I wanted to make for other people because nobody respected this market. I was doing something I loved, and then all of a sudden it started to take off. When that passion grabs a hold of you, as they say when the needle is finally in the vain, and you are really hooked, its like being in love. Its like um you know when you thought you'd like somebody when you were thirteen/fourteen years-old. It was just something new and it was puppy love. But, when you are twenty-two/twenty-three years-old and you are out there making life decisions and saying, 'I can see myself with this person for the rest of my life', and you are getting butterflies every time you see them. That's what it is when you have a business or a company that you love. You can't see anything else, and I would have dressed people til today for free if I could".

When we think about this message, without having Daymond John in mind, we can relate it to all of us.  There is a business, or an activity behind each one of our passions, and if we can tap into that, we will soar.  Work doesn’t feel like work when you’re doing what you love, what you would do for free.