Positivity is a spectrum and always relative. I sometimes lose sight of this, but positivity isn’t always about adding more good, it’s also about reducing some bad.

Something we do subconsciously is fixate on the threats in our life, which are often things that are undesirable. It’s human nature and in our evolutionary history to pay close attention to threats, as it was an important behavior in our survival. But things are different now, and we are in more control.

That's the first thing we could do to reduce the bad in our life: Stop letting it have power over us! 

I had a interesting experience recently that totally relates to this. A colleague and I were talking about imposter syndrome, which is a feeling that you don’t deserve the success or authority you have. Interesting enough, after I had that conversation, I felt imposter syndrome stronger in my life. The energy I spent talking it through with my buddy about how I had to relive my major bouts of imposter syndrome to relate to him, renewed the sentiment which began to effect me. I, then, had to restructure it in a positive way by talking through the issue rather than internalizing it. I also had to move the emotion on and out. 

You can call it the law of attraction or vibrations or spirituality, but the common principle here is that the energy you put into something emphasizes that component in your life. So emphasize positivity and you’ll be surrounded by more of it!

This is inspired by my weekly goal sheet, and the reflection I consistently have that I call wins of the week. What this does is it forces me to acknowledge the positive work I did, and give myself credit for the progress I made. This exercise is more impactful when thinking about the entire year, and I encourage you to write out your 3 wins of the year!

For me, my 3 wins of the year are: 

1. Moving to San Diego and building a great community for myself. This includes strengthening the relationships I already had with my coworkers and girlfriend, as well as forming new relationships with aligned individuals like those at Greatness Collective.

2. Grinding out some really impactful and influential partners in my full-time position. We are poised to activate in a big way in many different areas, and it took a years worth of work to get these partners onboard.

3. I have discovered the person I want to be, how I want to live my life, and what is meaningful to me. I am clearer than ever on who I am and what makes me happy. I know this will change, maybe even tomorrow, but for now It’s motivating to know that I don’t need to search too much, and now I can just execute!

Let me know, what are your three wins of the year?

It’s been a while since we’ve talked about goal setting, and I want to take a different angle on it, especially as we are drafting our New Years Resolutions. Not much changes from the previous conversation. Use smart goals that are specific measurable attainable realistic and time bound. Leverage some of the principles in habit formation like starting small, being consistent, making sure you find a way to reward yourself to drive the cycle. This is all good and important, but I realize it’s missing what is most important, the bottom of the pyramid so to speak that everything depends on.

Before setting a goal or committing to a habit you need to know your reason why! You won’t have the discipline required to achieve your goals if you’re not motivated to achieve it, and your reason is that motivation. It’s best summarized in the timeless quote, “He who has a why to live can bear almost any how”.

So, as you’re setting goals and getting ready to hit your stride in this new decade, ask yourself why those plans even matter. For me, my overarching “why”, the truest motivation I have, is I want to impact others and leave this world better than I found it. After gaining that clarity, we can brainstorm themes that contribute to our why, and find the tactics and resolutions themselves that support those themes.

The conventions we use limit our ability to think, and words are at the root of it. So, if we change the words, we violate the conventions and can explore new ideas. The reason I say all this is because I am going to share an example brought to my attention in a podcast episode featuring Jim Kwik that leverages this concept.

Typically, we ask the question, "how smart are you, or how smart are they?". With this question, you’re using the standard definition and metrics for intelligence, and seeing how they fit into that general expectation. Someone might respond by referencing their IQ, or talking through a time when they thought they were clever or creative. Sure it could help as an ordinary point of reference, but it doesn’t add much beyond that. The question in itself is limiting because it asks you to answer with standardization.

But let’s change the order a bit. "How are you smart?". Sounds different doesn’t it? It’s open ended, which lends the respondent to really showcase something about themselves. It helps you get to the real quality of it and uncover the areas where someone is at their best. I mean, that’s what you want to know about, what makes someone different or special, not just how they compare to the average, right?

The same goes for our internal messaging, and piggybacks off of Albert Einstein’s famous quote, “Everybody is a genius, but if you judge a goldfish by it’s ability to climb a tree, it’s going to live its whole life believing it’s stupid”.  Don’t fall for it, and don’t ask yourself the question, “How smart am I?”, ask yourself the question “How am I smart?”. That’s where you should be spending your time and attention.

I want to give you a sneak peak at a point from our next SISD with Brian Mazza. Brian is the definition of a high performer, someone who gets a lot out of himself, but that is because he expects a lot from himself. With an emphasis on getting results and an appreciation for incremental growth, Brian has adopted a very fitting motto for his fitness brand High Performance Lifestyle Training, which is nothing changes if nothing changes.

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While Brian Mazza’s sweet spot is in the health and wellness space, he acknowledges the importance of this mentality in all aspects of life. His commentary on his relationship, in business, and reflecting on the wake up call he received about his father’s health, he has been able to take action to change his situation. Because guess what happens if you don’t? Nothing changes if nothing changes.

What happens so often is, we aren’t fair in the way we reflect on our lives, holding ourselves to expectations we don’t hold others to. So in this reflection if you feel like things don’t add up, or seem like they’re in alignment, remember this quote.

“Just because your path is different doesn’t mean you’re lost.”

Do you know why that is? This is because no two paths are the same. Everyone has their own challenges, with their own uniqueness, to their own degrees. It’s impossible to look at something at face value and know the full picture. 

In addition, paying too much attention to other people actually distracts us and takes us off our alignment. It encourages us to spend our time and energy in the wrong ways, all because we attribute the details of someone else’s path to our own.

Which makes me want to touch on the final thought. This doesn’t mean you’re lost. Your path has your destination, and just because it seems like you’re walking it on your own doesn’t mean you’re going the wrong way.

“Just because your path is different doesn’t mean you’re lost.”

Let our instincts and intuition be the lighthouse that guides us home, and right where we’re mean to be.

Christmas a season for giving. Given that Christmas occurs at the end of the year, gifts almost serves as a yearly thank you for that relationship, and an acknowledgment that they have impacted your life. It’s a beautiful thing that people collectively choose to think about others, spreading love and warmth.

Then, there’s the Christmas cheer and buzz! It seems like every year Christmas, lights and decorations go up earlier than the year prior. Some people say it’s annoying, but this undoubtedly injects an energy that piggybacks off the prior point of energy of gratitude, appreciation, and reflection. The more people that buy in, the further the energy propagates, and larger the effect.

Then finally and more subtly, Christmas is a season of community. The secret Santa, the white elephants, and the holiday parties all create moments that bring people together. People of old, people of new, and people you haven’t met before. It’s a time that builds bridges between friend groups and communities, creating a friendly and cheerful environment to do so. 

Lets bring back an extremely important point. We talk a lot about the idea, and mentalities, and tactics of personal development, which is great and the education is really important, but when it comes to implementing it there are definitely some best practices. 

Of course, taking action is huge, but that’s not the full story. It’s about taking consistent action. And that’s the message that Brad Hart, an impact entrepreneur and mentor of mine, has for us.

 It’s all about keeping momentum high!

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Learn more from Brad at http://buildamastermind.com/mastermind-groups

Have you ever had a big project or errand to run, and you start thinking about how, maybe, you could do something a little different and get it done quicker? You could call it cutting corners, skipping a step, trimming the fat, whatever it is, think twice first.

Don’t skip a step. When you do, you essentially are prioritizing your short term efficiency over your long term investment. Skipping a step is placing more value in the destination than the journey, which compromises the growth and learning you experience while you’re on your path. It’s about building a foundation that you can safely use to grow upon, rather than constructing a tall building for the view at the top, that just might tip over.

This requires an awareness for the process, and an understanding that the small components are fundamentals not inconveniences. To be an effective leader you need to have a competency in the small tasks to be able to manage those who are performing them. The only way you can ever acquire that knowledge is by being a practitioner who learned it in the first place.

There are things in life that you can fake. You can go through the motions, and get the job done without anyone noticing any change in execution. But when you do that, you’re cheating yourself and teaching yourself that you’re not worth the time and energy.

Don’t skip a step, don’t take shortcuts, it’s a long game but it’s one that will be worth it in the end.