I was interviewing an expert in human behavior, Vanessa Van Edwards for this weekend’s SISD and we were talking about personality types. There’s consistency among people in terms of what elements make up our personalities, but obviously all of our personalities are very different. However we feel like there is one ideal type, and that is not the case. Vanessa shared more about that.

Not only is there no best personality type, but it’s actually crucial that we have a variety of personality types working together because they offer different strengths. Our diversity should be celebrated, and it’s important we understand how to get the best out of each other.

“Your next chapter is going to be amazing”. It kinda feels like life is on pause. We’re counting down the days and doing our best to continue on as best as we can despite the circumstances. There’s no doubt that we’ll remember this time the rest of our lives. But that makes me think of a follow up question. How are we going to remember this time?

While the world around us seems to be stopped that doesn’t mean we have to. In fact, I think this is a really unique opportunity for us to invest in ourselves and our future. I believe, if we want to, we can remember this time as the catalyst that helped us focus up and commit to the person we know we’re capable of being.

This chapter is still being written but, let’s be honest, it’s going to be a pretty boring one. Stayed in doors, couldn’t travel, spent a lot of time on my laptop and phone. Nothing too compelling. So let’s start thinking about our future chapters and how we might be able to script that today.

By taking the right steps now, we can lay the framework to accelerate at the beginning of the next chapter. Imagine one of those toys where you wind it up a bunch of times and then release it, and it moves all over the place. That’s exactly what we can do today. Put your energy in the right places so that when these restrictions are lifted and life has normalized, you are wound up and ready to go!

Your next chapter is going to be amazing. But amazing doesn’t happen on it’s own. How are you going to respond?

In the face of everything that has happened with the Coronavirus pandemic so much has changed, and even things that didn’t have to.

I have to be honest, I’ve spent some time outside walking, going for a run, and grabbing something out of my car. But, it’s important to get some exercise and stimulation. Of course, I’ve been practicing social distancing. I’m trying to be as responsible about this as anyone else, but this is what I noticed. 

When going for a walk or a run, and there’s someone on the same sidewalk as you, it has been courtesy that one of you steps into the street or some place to create distance. Have you noticed anything about that interaction? I’ve found it has been as though you are trying to avoid the other person.

It’s not the human we’re told to avoid, it’s the virus!

I understand physically avoiding them, that’s the point, but how about even acknowledging they are there? It seems to me like there’s almost an embarrassment to even have to do it, like our distancing is saying something negative about what we think about them, and we don’t even look up to make eye contact to avoid that awkward moment.

But again, it’s not the human that we’re avoiding, there’s nothing wrong with the human. It’s the virus! We’re all on the same page with the same concerns, which means there’s a mutual understanding about it in this potentially awkward exchange.

Given our lack of face to face social interaction, we need those passing moments more than ever! In the last SISD, Radha Agrawal talked about how mental health issues could potentially claim more lives than the virus this season. We’re perpetuating that problem by projecting the concerns we have about catching the virus ontoother people.

So, I challenge you to help change that culture. While walking, say hi, give a smile, and be present for the other human that is there. Because you never know who it is, and how much they might need your acknowledgement.

I was listening to an incredible conversation recently where Jay Shetty interviewed Lisa Bilyeu. Lisa has a long history of being placed in challenging circumstances, personal, financial, ethical, and had to find a way to move through it and move forward. Often, she is faced head on with fear, and her philosophy on it is something we all can relate to.

There will be fear when you step into uncharted territories, but you don’t always expect it, and it’s up to you to decide how you respond to it. Lisa says that if that fear is blocking what you really want, it’s not a decision about if you should overcome the fear, it’s a matter of how. She, then, thinks through the worst case scenario, which is the force behind the fear, and rationalizes how the discomfort and possibility of failure can not more be influential than what she wants to achieve.

I had the opportunity to meet Adam Roa virtually via Zoom call. You probably know Adam best for his spoken word poem, “You are who you’ve been looking for” with the famous line “Treat yourself like someone you love”.

On the zoom call, he performed a poem that isn’t available publicly or recorded in any other capacity other than what I’m about to play for you, which is a raw and authentic production of his thoughts. He wrote it a few years ago as a specific project but it resurfaced recently, and it rings really true given the state of our world and the Coronavirus. It is titled, “A message from death,” and it speaks to the cycle of life and death that we’re all subject to, how we currently receive that reality, and what opportunities it presents for us moving forward within our own growth and development.

It’s such a great poem. First how he articulates the recycling of resources and how everything alive inside you today has been alive before you and will be alive again after you. He uses incredible metaphors like cocoons and natural contrasts like the night and the sun. And it all comes to a point when he describes that the only given in life is change, and embracing change is embracing opportunities for growth.

Let’s dive into a dose of positivity. This is one you’ve heard before, but it rings truer than ever today.  A little positivity goes a long way.

I remember hearing something impactful from David Meltzer. It’s that one particle of light outshines millions of particles of darkness. Just a little positivity is enough to stop a cascade of negativity. And it’s contagious, and that’s something I want to share in an example.

I want to highlight what my friend, Tom Alaimo, is doing. He’s also in the personal development space with a blog and podcast called Millennial Momentum. Tom has decided to step up as a leader in this dark time and be a beacon of light that encourages other people to share theirs. 

The bottom line is, a little positivity goes a long way. Not only will your positive act create ripples that affect those who are exposed to your message, but you will notice more positivity and optimism around you, further encouraging you to share and extend your ripple.

Life is a contrast. Negativity in one place in this world requires positivity in another. Let’s not lose sight of that, and let’s make sure people are aware!

This is an interesting concept I learned about in the book “Belong” written by Radha Agrawal.

It’s the idea that everyone speaks their own life language. To be truly empathetic and to interpret the correct meaning in someone else's words, you need to consider holistically where they’re coming from. There are 3 questions to ask about the context of the conversation, that apply individually to both people in the conversation, which will help you to understand each other better.

The first question - Where am I in life? What’s the state of your health, finances, and personal life? It’s important to consider this because it sheds light on where they might be coming from, and what motivates the emotion or requests made in the conversation.

The second question - Where am I right now? What's your state of mind? How are you feeling physically? Are you hungry, tired, etc? This is important because your current state of arousal influences the way you communicate.

And then last, Where am I with you? Are we on good terms, are we getting along, is there unresolved conflict? Because that definitely affects the way we speak to each other.

By being open and understanding of the truth to the answer of these 3 questions, we create a space for things to be communicated more authentically. Where am I in life, where am I right now, and where am I with you?

Pre-Covid quarantine, my alarm went off at 5:30 am and my goal was to be at work by 6:30. This gives me an hour to wake up, journal, do my affirmation, set goals, and meditate before getting ready for the day. It varies between an hour and 45 minutes. Which I think is acceptable.

Well, I noticed a while back, I set my alarm for 6:15 instead to give myself an extra 45 minutes of rest, and I found something very interesting. When my alarm went off I popped right out of bed, got to my morning routine quickly, and I found myself pulling up to work at 6:55! Yea, that’s 25 minutes later than I normally get there, but from the standpoint of getting out the door I had never done it faster! It only took me 40 minutes. 

I didn’t battle myself for 5 minutes to get out of bed. I didn’t get distracted by little triggers in my room. I was able to stick to my intentions and just move forward.

In my mind, there’s an opportunity to create 20 minutes of efficiency in my day and it’s a tradeoff I’m trying to quantify. To me, the math breaks down like this. Changing my wake up time by 45 minutes means I get 45 more minutes of sleep but 25 less minutes of work. It seems like I win in this equation, but I do want to explore it more moving forward.