Speaking Life Language
This is an interesting concept I learned about in the book “Belong” written by Radha Agrawal.
It’s the idea that everyone speaks their own life language. To be truly empathetic and to interpret the correct meaning in someone else's words, you need to consider holistically where they’re coming from. There are 3 questions to ask about the context of the conversation, that apply individually to both people in the conversation, which will help you to understand each other better.
The first question - Where am I in life? What’s the state of your health, finances, and personal life? It’s important to consider this because it sheds light on where they might be coming from, and what motivates the emotion or requests made in the conversation.
The second question - Where am I right now? What's your state of mind? How are you feeling physically? Are you hungry, tired, etc? This is important because your current state of arousal influences the way you communicate.
And then last, Where am I with you? Are we on good terms, are we getting along, is there unresolved conflict? Because that definitely affects the way we speak to each other.
By being open and understanding of the truth to the answer of these 3 questions, we create a space for things to be communicated more authentically. Where am I in life, where am I right now, and where am I with you?