This mindset is a total game-changer for me. My intention for 2021 is to get uncomfortable and I’m getting really intentional about stepping outside of my comfort zone as often as I can. Shared by Brian Johnson, the anti-fragile mindset really embodies how to make the most of leaving your comfort zone. It's the growth you can experience by doing things differently and putting yourself out there.

The anti-fragile mindset is about reframing difficulties and obstacles to see them as fuel for your growth. With this mindset you can embrace challenge to create opportunity for yourself, and strengthen the way you relate to life’s circumstances. I’m using anti-fragility in a few ways. First with my cold shower routine, I have started smiling in the cold because I feel myself growing through the pain. Also, when someone tells me “No”. In the face of rejection I have learned to pull the benefit out of it, trusting that the experience is preparing me for something bigger. 

It’s unnatural to do, but when you start inviting challenges in your life instead of running from them, you begin to accelerate on your path toward excellence.

You want to hear something great? Failure. I know that might not sound right to you but I’m going to elaborate on why that’s the case, and share with you what I do when I fail.

First off, the fact that you failed means that you tried. Former US president Theodore Roosevelt was quoted saying “It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed.” The attempt should be celebrated, and it in itself is more meaningful than we give it credit for. Most importantly, failure is a lesson. It is incredible feedback about your process, and allows you to learn at an accelerated rate. But, this is only possible when you allow yourself to pull the lessons embedded in the failure.

And that’s what I do, I have a Failure Reflection Framework that takes me through a series of prompts to really understand my performance, the good and bad about it, and identify areas for improvement moving forward.

Ultimately, what the framework does is it brings your awareness to the opportunities you didn’t pursue and the insights you didn’t consider. Then it gives you the structure you need to figure out what you’re going to do next to apply those learnings, because what matters most is using the experience to inform your next attempt.

This thought about the difference between positivity and optimism is very interesting, and I discovered it on Simon Sinek’s podcast “A Bit Of Optimism.”

Positivity is a reflection of your current state. It’s seeing the best in the way things are right now. It’s a perspective because it’s a lens through which you see your reality, and it helps you to experience better moments. I’m a big advocate for positivity.

But optimism is different, and just as important. As Simon stated in the podcast “Optimism is not a denial of the current state, it’s a belief that the future is bright, but it accepts current darkness.” In learning this, we can see that optimism doesn’t say much about how you feel in the moment, you absolutely can be stressed, worried, or anxious. It merely allows you to accept it as temporary. 

So now that begs the question, how are positivity and optimism different in practice? I think a lot of the short-term tactics like positive body posture, parasympathetic breathing, and gratitude are all great in helping to change your physiology so that you’re more comfortable feeling positive. But when it comes to optimism it’s more about practicing faith and surrendering to the process, trusting that things will ultimately be as they should.

So, let's be both positive and optimistic!

Sometimes you’ve just gotta go before you’re ready. I’m not telling you to be reckless, but if you wait for things to be perfect then you’ll never get started. In some of my more recent entrepreneurial endeavors I have taken this philosophy to heart, and that philosophy is “Ready, fire, aim.”

As you probably noticed, I spoke out of order. It doesn’t make sense to aim after you take a shot because then it's too late to do anything. Well that’s exactly the point! Sometimes you need to sacrifice detail and perfection in order to go quickly.

Don't get me wrong I’m a very detail oriented guy, but I’ve found this philosophy has helped me lately in a crucial way. It makes you commit. When you take your shot, it’s too late to take it back. You need to be prepared to back up the shot you took, and be accountable for doing the work that needs to get done to truly pursue the opportunity. One pillar of high performance is necessity, and committing early generates a necessity that influences your performance.

Now when is the right time to use this? As I mentioned previously, it’s when you want to get moving, either to go faster or to get started. Energy is required to overcome the heaviness and inertia you feel with things as they are, and the “ready, fire, aim” mentality helps you to pick up momentum in important ways.

We spend enough time thinking and planning, and let’s do more doing. Whatever is on your mind, take your shot and get moving. Experience is the greatest teacher. "Ready, Fire, Aim"!

Something that is fundamental to personal development is becoming the person you’re meant to be. But this is tough because, what if you don’t know who you want to be? If you’re like me then you probably have a bunch of different interests, and a few too many ideas about how to build a life and career. And with all of these ideas it could be tough coming upon a comprehensive and focused life mission.

Well let's think about it in a different way - Instead of figuring out who you re, let's start with who you’re not. Just like you’ve seen other people and admired the things they’ve done, you’ve also seen a bunch of examples of who you don’t want to be. And I think it’s easier to know with more certainty what to avoid rather than what to pursue.

When it comes to your job or schooling, do you know what you don’t want to do? In a relationship do you know the type of person you don’t want to be with? And when you’re looking in the mirror, do you know the qualities you don’t want to see in yourself? It doesn’t seem like gaining clarity on this would reveal anything compelling, but the reality is you are narrowing in on fewer options that are better suited for you. It’s through experience that you can learn more about yourself, and see how it relates back to you. 

If something works or something doesn’t, that’s more insight you can use to determine what you ultimately should be focused on. Sometimes it’s not about being who you want to be, it’s about not being who you don’t want to be. And in order to do that you need to start with who you’re not and go from there.

It's time to dispel an old myth because it is the roadblock to so much prosperity. To put it simply, what you do matters, in all areas of your life, and I’ll show you why. 

First let’s talk about this concept called the Butterfly Effect, I believe it was a movie that showcased how the smallest of changes can have major, unforeseen consequences. This was presented as it relates to creating the future, and how one small decision here can create a whole world of difference somewhere else.

Of course, and this has come up hundreds of times, the small things you do on a daily basis matter. Being disciplined in your routines slowly strengthens you, allowing you to grow into a more energized and actualized person.

And let’s talk about this through the lens of impact as well. Your small choice to show up positively or negatively to one person matters! Who knows how that energy goes on to affect other people in their day, and it very quickly could grow into an exponential. The same goes for social impact. We don’t think that small, seemingly insignificant contributions make a difference.  That couldn’t be further from the case, because you have no idea how your example might inspire someone else with more means, and how your contribution is a necessary drop in the sea of change you’re a part of.

I really want you to get this - What you do matters, because in every moment you are creating the future. There are an infinite amount of ways the world can go, but your choices make one of those possibilities a reality, and we better start making the right choices to create the right future.

As it relates to social impact, check out the platform I’ve created called For Purpose at www.forpurpose.com, and you’ll start to see the real effect your decisions can have in the community!

Life is long with many different chapters where we have different interests, pursue dreams, face different challenges, and overcome different obstacles. As you observe  the contexts of your life and the decisions you've made, you know that no one understands your path like you do. Let's flip this around and speak more to the opposite point - You don’t know what other people are going through, why they’ve gone through it, or how it’s affected them like they do. As much as you want to be respected and appreciated for the circumstances of your life you need to respect and appreciate the circumstances of others’ lives.

As we think about people from the past that we had relationships with, in high school or in college or in our first job, we remember them as they existed in that moment. With social media and casual gossip we get small glimpses into what these people are doing now, but we hold prejudices about who they used to be and reflect on them accordingly. The truth is it isn’t fair, and when these moments to criticize come up I encourage you not to engage in the petty name-calling and talking behind their back. 

I’m going to say this about myself but it’s likely true for you… We want the people in our past to want the best for us. We want to believe that we left a positive impression on them, and that they have nothing but support to offer us. Let’s practice what we preach and lead with virtues we want to see in others like empathy, understanding, and belief. It’s unnecessary to hold onto grudges and prejudices because they don’t serve you in any way, and it invites more negativity into your life. You don’t want that do you? Lead by example and want the best for others.

This topic is one of the most important things to me in my life - loyalty. Nothing is more important than loyalty. It’s not something we talk enough about, especially in today’s day and age where marketing is so competitive and we’re constantly told that we need something new to be complete. I’m guilty of it to some extent too with the content I put out, which is why I wanted to clarify it today.

When you’re loyal it means that you are fulfilling a commitment. You made a decision to do something and loyalty is about staying true to that. Often we are loyal to other things - our favorite sports teams, the company we work at, our romantic partner - but what’s important in each of these examples is to recognize that you are also being loyal to yourself. 

When you make a commitment you have decided what is valuable to you, and if you go changing your mind one day, one month, one year later, then it reflects that you don’t trust your own judgment. This compromises your ability to make commitments in the future and keeps you from being confident about the new commitments you make. 

If you think of it this way, being disloyal can be seen through the lens of seeking more because you’re not satisfied, that you can’t have enough, which has roots in the way you fill your own needs and think about your own self-worth. I say “Nothing is more important than loyalty” because nothing is more important than the way you think about yourself. You are enough as you are, you have enough to offer, and being loyal to the things you commit to is the best way of proving that to yourself.