We Sacrifice the Thing We Want For The Thing That’s Supposed To Get It

Chris WIllamson, the host of Modern Wisdom, often brings up a very powerful insight. It’s a flaw in our rational thinking, a short-circuit in our daily decision making, and sometimes we’re so close to it that we can’t see it for what it is.

He says “We sacrifice the thing we want for the thing that’s supposed to get it.”

What this means to me is that we’ve romanticized our dreams so much that we believe we couldn’t possibly make them true right now. We figure that what we want needs to be earned and fought for, but that’s only because we’re blind to the more direct path to getting what we want immediately.

There are three examples of this that Chris share to make the idea more concrete:

The first is related to happiness. We sacrifice our happiness right now by working hard, putting in reps, and doing things we don’t enjoy in order to earn the results that will make us happy. What’s keeping us from doing what we enjoy right now?

The second is related to self-worth. We do things that we’re not fully aligned with to impress people, who then in turn validate us and inspire us with self-worth. But why don’t we just do the things that we would do if we already felt worthy today, because that’s what will make you feel worthy the fastest.

And the third is related to freedom. We work hard for other people, work long hours and give our time away to make money so that when we have it, we can do whatever we want. I know it needs to be within reason, but why can’t we just do whatever we want to do right now? It’s very likely you can make a decent enough living doing what you want to do to cover your basic needs.

“We sacrifice the thing we want for the thing that’s supposed to get it”... But with a simple reorientation we can start getting what we want. And while it’s simple, it’s certainly not easy. But it’s possible, and something worth thinking about.

Rather than living by someone else’s playbook, start to write your own. You get to design your life. You can have the happiness, self-worth, and freedom you deserve right now. And achieving it doesn’t need to be some roundabout process, it’s actually way more accessible than you’d think.