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February 2, 2021

Start With Who You're Not

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Something that is fundamental to personal development is becoming the person you’re meant to be. But this is tough because, what if you don’t know who you want to be? If you’re like me then you probably have a bunch of different interests, and a few too many ideas about how to build a life and career. And with all of these ideas it could be tough coming upon a comprehensive and focused life mission.

Well let's think about it in a different way - Instead of figuring out who you re, let's start with who you’re not. Just like you’ve seen other people and admired the things they’ve done, you’ve also seen a bunch of examples of who you don’t want to be. And I think it’s easier to know with more certainty what to avoid rather than what to pursue.

When it comes to your job or schooling, do you know what you don’t want to do? In a relationship do you know the type of person you don’t want to be with? And when you’re looking in the mirror, do you know the qualities you don’t want to see in yourself? It doesn’t seem like gaining clarity on this would reveal anything compelling, but the reality is you are narrowing in on fewer options that are better suited for you. It’s through experience that you can learn more about yourself, and see how it relates back to you. 

If something works or something doesn’t, that’s more insight you can use to determine what you ultimately should be focused on. Sometimes it’s not about being who you want to be, it’s about not being who you don’t want to be. And in order to do that you need to start with who you’re not and go from there.

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