Past Episodes:
When To Quit
No one likes a quitter, right? We’ve been taught for so many years to never quit, to never give up, and to always persevere. We’ve created a culture that looks down on people who don’t follow through and locks people into sticking with things much longer than they’d like to and should.
I’m certainly not endorsing that you should give up and quit any time you feel like it, but I do want to share some of the misconceptions we have about quitting and ways we should be thinking about it differently.
The implication of quitting is that when you quit, things are done for good. It’s all for naught. All that effort and time put into it is wasted. That’s simply not true because of the development and growth you experienced while pursuing it. But even so, when people quit it usually isn’t a full-stop. It usually leads to a change of course or a transition.
What’s interesting is this double-standard we’re facing - On one hand we’re told to persevere and work through it, and on the other hand we’re told to be receptive to feedback, and that we need to constantly innovate or change our processes to get better. I think people are reluctant to make changes because of their strong associations with the idea of quitting. But if what you’re doing isn’t working then you should stop doing it. Do we call that quitting? I’d argue we do more often than we should, and it keeps people from making forward progress.
So what I propose is that we should view quitting through a different lens that doesn’t have such a strong label. Oftentimes quitting is actually just pivoting, reprioritizing, or transitioning. You need to know what’s serving you and what’s not, and have the confidence to try something new.
Let’s bring this concept into your life right now - What do you feel like ‘quitting' that should actually be viewed through the lens of transitioning or reprioritizing?
If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily prompts that help you get to know yourself better and build a more meaningful life every day.
If you’re looking to grow alongside a community of like-minded improvers, then click here to join the Better Together Community.
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See More"Many people have a hand in our success."
I wanted to feature a quote from former first Lady of the United States, Michelle Obama, to share a dose of positivity rooted in an overlooked truth. “Many people have a hand in our success.”
There are so many factors that go into success, the majority of which go unseen, unnoticed, and underappreciated. We know that good results and outcomes don’t produce themselves, but we also don’t give credit or know to give credit to some of the most important pieces. Ye, a lot of that is your hard work, some of it is good fortune, but what’s equally important to acknowledge is that your success has been supported by the contributions and sacrifices of so many others.
I think many people fail to realize the role certain people have played in our development. There are the obvious contributors - Family and friends who provided for you as a child, mentors and colleagues who you work directly with... But then there’s also the enemies and adversaries who rerouted you in ways that you didn’t know you needed. People have played a role in every move you’ve made and opportunity you’ve pursued, and it would be a disservice not to recognize that.
The most beautiful part about it is that’s exactly how it’s meant to be! We exist as individuals but we were born to create and collaborate. Our ideas and dreams are strengthened by the perspective and touch of others. Just like someone else’s hand was created to hold up your sail against the wind, yours was created to help them on the boat. And vice versa, you’ve undoubtedly had a hand in someone else’s success without realizing it or without needing to go out of your way to provide it. It warms my heart to remember this, that we live to serve each other, and it all facilitates the flow of value.
To wrap up this thought I’d like you to reflect on this prompt - Who played a more influential role in your life than you realize?
If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily prompts that help you get to know yourself better and build a more meaningful life every day.
If you’re looking to grow alongside a community of like-minded improvers, then click here to join the Better Together Community.
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See MoreThe Difference Between Amateurs and Professionals
Something that people often say about personal development is it will help you ‘get to the next level’ or ‘level up’. While I don’t think there are distinctive tiers or levels of self-growth I do believe there is a full-spectrum, and it’s our job to climb our way higher. What’s crazy about this spectrum is that the better you get at something, the harder it becomes to make additional progress. That’s why it’s pretty easy to get pretty good at something and it takes years to become elite.
There’s a serious mindset difference as well between being an amateur and being a professional, and the way you approach the work assigns you to a certain skill level. An amateur practices until they get it right, a professional practices until they can’t get it wrong. Read that again and let it sink in.
What this naturally means is you can’t be a professional at everything. If you want to be a professional you need to be very specific about what you’re investing your time and energy into. There’s a level of professionalism and discipline required to perfecting your craft that is redundant, monotonous, and ungratifying. Not everyone is cut out for it, but that’s what it takes to be a true pro.
No one is an overnight success. Like the tip of an iceberg you don’t see everything that goes into it under the surface.
And while not everyone is meant to be the best in the world at something, there is something inside of each of us that is destined for greatness. With that in mind I want to ask you this question - What do you work the hardest on in your life, and how is that producing results for you?
If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily prompts that help you get to know yourself better and build a more meaningful life every day.
If you’re looking to grow alongside a community of like-minded improvers, then click here to join the Better Together Community.
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See MoreShow Up And Show Out
My friend Demi has a mindset that has catapulted her to success in many different areas of her life. It’s very simple but at the same time it is very effective. Her philosophy is “Show up and show out”. It basically translates to ‘do it and do your best’. But what’s really powerful about this is you’re leaving value and opportunity on the table if you don’t do both at all times.
First you need to show up, which is not an easy thing to do. It can be hard overcoming the inertia of comfort to get yourself to do something, and on top of that it’s hard to justify any wasted time. At the end of the day our brains are designed to take the path of least resistance, to conserve energy, and anything else needs a strong reason and some internal convincing. When opportunity arises, no matter the obstacle or the doubts she might have about how worthwhile showing up would be, she finds a way to do it. To show up. Demi has built an identity around it and it continues to open doors to this day.
The second part is to show out. The term literally is taken from showing your hand of cards. No holding back, no reservations, giving it everything you’ve got. It’s unfortunate but many people don’t give things their all because they fear that what they are actually capable of, that their 100% is not good enough. So they hide it out of protection. Demi doesn’t hold back and she lets the world see her for who she is, giving it her all in everything she does. And guess what? Usually it is good enough.
And that’s her formula. You show up to everything you can, give yourself more chances to prove yourself. And then you show out. You give it your all and put everything you have into it. Compounded time and time and time again you’ll build skills, strengthen relationships, and gain a confidence that points you toward success.
To finish up this thought I want to challenge you to embrace this philosophy - When is the next time you’re going to show up and show out?
If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily prompts that help you get to know yourself better and build a more meaningful life every day.
If you’re looking to grow alongside a community of like-minded improvers, then click here to join the Better Together Community.
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See MoreWhen You're Playing Catch Up
We all encounter times when life seems to run off the rails and we fall behind where we want to be. It can be stressful because you already have so much on your plate, and now you need to do extra to get back up to speed. Today I want to share a few ways to think about how to get on track and catch up.
First I want to share something I learned from my friend and mentor Mark Divine, who is a former Navy SEAL. There’s an expression in the SEALs that goes “Slow is smooth and smooth is fast.” The reason I bring this up is because when you’re behind and playing catch up it seems natural to do everything faster. But what happens is with speed we can lose control and end up making mistakes and doing more harm than good. So while it might seem counterintuitive, when you need to catch up on things focus on going slower, because slow is smooth and smooth is fast.
Another thing I'd recommend is to prioritize. When there’s so much to do it can be overwhelming. Largely your to-do list is made up with non-critical things. You feel behind when you’re late on deadlines or expectations, but there’s usually only a handful of things that actually contribute to getting something done. So when you slow down you’ll have the space to determine what is most important so you can attack it head on.
This is also complemented by an important law of human behavior - momentum. Once you get going things start to get easier. So while it all might be daunting and it paralyzes you from even getting started the sooner you get yourself going the sooner more pieces will start to move into place.
So when you’re playing catch up pause to remember those 3 pieces - Go slow, prioritize what needs to get done, and get started so that you build momentum. Let me bring this together by asking an indirect question - What do you fall behind on in your life that requires you to play catch up often?
If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily prompts that help you get to know yourself better and build a more meaningful life every day.
If you’re looking to grow alongside a community of like-minded improvers, then click here to join the Better Together Community.
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See MoreDiamonds Are Formed Under Pressure
All I want for you is to shine! I want you to be surrounded by things that excite you and I want for you to show up for those things with an incredible amount to contribute. But how do you get to be that way where you light up everything you touch? You’ve got to become the diamond that brightly reflects everything back into the world, and maybe you’ve heard this before - Diamonds are formed under pressure.
My understanding of the physics and geology of this process is that carbon atoms deep in the Earth are exposed to really high levels of temperature and pressure. These forces cause the carbon atoms to rearrange themselves into the ornate crystalline structure that we’ve come to know as diamonds.
What this means for your life is that your environment shapes who you become, and more particularly, the ways that you grow. For example, if you want to improve a certain skill, you need to put yourself in a competitive environment that forces you to get better. This is well-documented in Anders Erricson’s iconic book titled “Peak” where he talks about this concept called deliberate practice. One of the fundamental pieces to deliberate practice is challenge - Doing the activity at a level that is beyond comfort. If you don’t do that then you will grow to meet the level you’re training at and plateau from there.
All this to say if you want to shine brighter in business, with your family, and in your passions, you need to apply a little pressure. Diamonds are formed under pressure and so is a better you. To wrap this up let me leave you with this reflection prompt: In what area of your life do you think you could push yourself more?
If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily prompts that help you get to know yourself better and build a more meaningful life every day.
If you’re looking to grow alongside a community of like-minded improvers, then click here to join the Better Together Community.
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See More"We are proud of you, yes we are proud of you."
If you've been following my work for a while I think you've realized that I am your personal cheerleader. I believe in you, I see you for who you are, and while we’ve maybe never met or spoken I really do mean that. In fact I believe everyone already has everything they need to be great inside of them, and the fact that you’re reading this means that you’re that much closer to letting it express itself.
Anyway, as your resident cheerleader I’m featuring a classic high school cheer for our positivity quote today - “We are proud of you, yes we are proud of you!”
In today’s world we place so much emphasis on the major moments that we lose sight of the small wins. When we evaluate ourselves and see how we’re showing up in the world, the meaning we have and the things we’re contributing, we sometimes see things through this same ‘hard to live up to’ lens.
Give credit to the small things that go unnoticed. It’s not all about setting a PR in the gym, it’s also about showing up and getting 15 minutes in when you don’t feel like it. It’s not just about closing the big deal on a call. It’s about how you put yourself out there even when you don’t get the result you were hoping for. We often chase the approval of others and try to do things that make others proud, but you know your challenges and daily efforts better than anyone else. I see them too, and on behalf of everyone I want to tell you, “We are proud of you, yes we are proud of you!”
To wrap this up I want to ask a question - What are you doing well that you should be more proud of?
If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily prompts that help you get to know yourself better and build a more meaningful life every day.
If you’re looking to grow alongside a community of like-minded improvers, then click here to join the Better Together Community.
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See MoreGetting Through The Day
Sometimes days are daunting and feel like they never end, where there might be some long, difficult, or mundane task that you need to complete. It’s typical for someone to say “I just need to get through the day” as a way of creating the mindset they need to get themselves to do it. The intention is to 'tough it out' and 'do what it takes' to get it done. But instead of approaching everything from that negative lens I think there’s a more empowering perspective you can use, and you don’t even need to change the words you’re saying.
Think of getting through the day as receiving through the day. Whatever it is that’s long, difficult, or mundane can actually be a great resource for you that has something to offer. Don’t just count the days and get through the things that are in front of you, make the days count by extracting value from everything you’re experiencing. It’s a mindset shift and a choice for you to engage deeper in what you’re doing rather than letting it pass you by.
The mind has an amazing way of finding whatever it’s looking for, the amazing poet In-Q has a quote "You will always find the evidence for what you choose to believe.” So if you choose to look for the opportunity and growth in your difficult days, you’re going to find it. As with anything in life YOU are the greatest vehicle for change, and this mindset shift will help you to find the richness in life where you might not already be seeing it.
Let me finish by asking you this - When are you just passing time, and when are you receiving value throughout the day?
If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily prompts that help you get to know yourself better and build a more meaningful life every day.
If you’re looking to grow alongside a community of like-minded improvers, then click here to join the Better Together Community.
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