Today I’m drawing inspiration from Commander Mark Divine. Commander Divine is one of the toughest men alive as a Navy seal, but he pairs that willpower with an incredible spiritual awareness. He knows the mind's power to influence reality, and during the difficult times he experienced in Navy Seal Training and beyond, he chanted this quote to himself as a pick me up - “I’m feeling good, I’m looking good, I oughta be in Hollywood.”

Commander Divine understands something about our psychology that I want to elaborate on today, which is the difference between your external and internal environment. The hours of calisthenics and physical punishment he endured were all out of his control, and they certainly placed an incredible demand on his body. But he controlled the story he was telling himself to make everything more manageable.

When you feed your brain with positive messaging, you tell it what to think. It is then primed to structure everything you’re exposed to within that positive frame of reference you’ve created, assimilating new information in a way that is consistent with your positive thought patterns.

While we don’t have to overcome the same challenges Commander Divine did in his training, we do come across stimuli in our environment that we choose to relate with. If something feels like it’s challenging you, convince yourself differently. If something is uncomfortable, give that feeling meaning by acknowledging how it’s generating personal growth. You can pick the story you tell yourself about your situation, just like Commander Divine did, and you’ll begin to better control your emotions, circumstances, and perceptions.

And the next time you’re tired during a workout, repeat this to yourself and you’ll know what I mean - “I’m feeling good, I’m looking good, I oughta be in Hollywood.”

This might sound like bad advice, and maybe it is, that’s for you to judge. Nonetheless I want to encourage you to be wrong more often. I already know what you’re thinking - Isn’t being wrong a bad thing? The answer is both yes and no. Yes, because it shows that you’re not quite where you thought you were in your understanding of something. But more importantly, no, being wrong is not always a bad thing. In fact it’s often not a bad thing.

First being wrong means you’re putting yourself out there. You’re stepping into uncomfortable territory and acting boldly and decisively in it. I’m not inviting you to be out of place, but sometimes a little confidence in times of doubt can go a long way. With that perspective, being wrong is not entirely a bad thing because it demonstrates your intent to be right in big and new ways.

Then second, believe it or not “being wrong” is subjective for many people. And that means that not everyone is willing to admit that they were wrong. This is because they want to protect themselves from the emotional and relational consequences of it, so they simply don’t expose themselves to the possibility of being wrong. However, when you do accept that you were wrong, it means you’re open-minded and open to feedback. You’re not the person that refuses to admit they’re wrong even when it’s clear they are, and therefore you benefit from the experience and use the error to learn.

The summary is - Being wrong can actually be a good thing because it represents your intent to put yourself out there and remain open to learning and growing. For that reason, if it really is a good thing, I invite you to be wrong more often.

I want to make a distinction between the two ways we’re perceived in this world, and with that awareness begin to understand how we can better become the person we want to be. There are two things to consider. First is your character - The virtues and values you hold in your life. And there’s your reputation - The way others think about those virtues and values.

It may be clear already, but the difference between the two are whether you're acknowledging an internal or external perception. What’s internal is within your control, and what’s external is not, meaning that your character is not your reputation, and that the way you do things will be received differently by others that it is by yourself.

People can misinterpret your character because they don’t know your intentions. You can do your best to communicate your intentions, but when that information is received by someone else it gets filtered through their own frame of reference and perspective. Now when someone’s character is out of alignment they can try to fake it, and create a false reputation so that others think differently about them. But that deception is near impossible to keep up, and eventually it will cost them.

To really understand your character I ask you one question - “What do you do when no one else is looking, and no one else will know?” In those instances there’s nowhere to hide, and you face off with who you are at your core. Do you chase down your trash when it’s blown away? Do you practice self-compassion? Do you undo the minor mistakes you make? There’s a lot to be learned about each of our own character, take the time to probe, but don’t get too preoccupied in your reputation.

As you may know by now, I am very purpose-driven. I’m in a fortunate position where I can put my efforts into things that I really believe in. As one speck on one planet in one of billions of galaxies, I am very aware that there is something larger going on than what exists within myself, and in order to tap into that I turn to purpose.

Purpose is that heartwarming feeling you get when you hold a child or nephew who depends on you. It’s the rush you get when you connect the dots on something that will impact a lot of people. It’s the buzz you feel when you see someone’s smile after having helped them with something. It's no accident, we experience these positive sensations because we are evolutionarily designed to be rewarded by connecting with purpose.

The amazing part about discovering your purpose is it is unique to every single person. Everyone finds meaning on their own given their own life history, the situations they’ve encountered, and the lessons they’ve learned. However it is often difficult to communicate about purpose because it is so visceral, and as a result it’s not something we share about as often as we should.

Well that’s where I think things need to change. In order to connect to purpose, we need to connect with other people navigating their own purpose journey. Learning about their experience helps us relate to our own. Visit www.forpurpose.com to surround yourself with change-makers all dedicated to making the world a better place!

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Recently I heard a term that I thought was really funny, and all too accurate, and I wanted to share it with you. It relates to the biggest issue people have with personal development, which is how easy it is to say it’s a priority but how hard it is to actually practice it consistently.

Sometimes, instead of these resources being true sources of growth and development through self-help, they become shelf-help. They’re the books and magazines that are really good at collecting dust and not so good at teaching you the lessons inside their pages. We’ve all been there where we feel motivated to buy a new book but never get around to reading it.That’s shelf-help.

But more broadly, I think this thought also comments on the importance of being an active participant in your self-growth. The learnings, lessons, and perspectives you’re seeking can only be incorporated when you put effort into educating yourself. It’s not the idea of trying new things that helps you grow, it’s the doing and experiencing it. It’s not the purchase of a book, podcast, or course that helps you create the life you desire, it’s implementing the practices and techniques into your own life. That’s the core difference between self-help and shelf-help - It’s using the resources you have access to versus merely having access to them.

Accessing resources doesn't need to be huge. As you know some short form content on a daily basis will serve you just fine! Reading a book summary gives you the general gist. It’s doing something, anything, that allows you to truly pursue your personal development.

You should be proud of yourself, and I want you to feel proud of yourself, because you really do deserve it. You are doing some many things right. I’m sure you’ve navigated difficult situations, had your ethics and morals tested, made a mistake you had to make up for, offered really good ideas, and adjusted to major changes in your life. You’ve been through all of that and made it out the other side to get to this moment.

You have been there for yourself every step of the way. Of course, with phases and periods where things weren’t so good, and maybe they still don’t feel like they are, but all of your experiences have made you uniquely trained to offer a certain perspective that the world needs.

Have you failed and failed big? Good! That means you’re trying, and it’s the only thing you can do. So much is out of your control, but your effort and intentions are not, so measure yourself on those and be proud of how you’ve applied yourself.

I was having an issue with this myself so in my evening routine I added one simple practice - To write one sentence about something I did that day that I am proud of. When you’re forced to sit down and think about it, you’ll realize how much you actually do, the grace you have in handling certain situations, the ways you act within your integrity, and you’ll become more aware of reasons to be proud more often.

“Be proud of yourself and everything you are.” You’ve proven it time and again, and I hope you’re starting to believe it.

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Amidst all of the liars and cheaters and hypocrites in the world, there is one universal law - You cannot fake the truth. Sure, you could be convincing in telling an alternate story, and it’s very possible that other people will believe you, but sharing anything but the truth has consequences that will come back in one form or another.

The reason being, you know what the truth is. You can lead someone else to genuinely believe anything, but you can’t persuade yourself to do the same. And that disconnect puts off an energy that influences your environment and brings more of it back into your life, you start experiencing indirect repercussions. Some people call it "karma", some people call it “getting what you deserve”, but I don’t think this phenomenon deserves a positive or negative label. It’s a “just is” of the world.

And you probably already knew this. You were probably told from a young age to always tell the truth, and you have to appreciate the wisdom in that. It’s an important lesson that has been passed down so that we know how to properly relate with this universal law.

The caveat is, sometimes there’s a good reason not to tell the truth. Call it a white lie. Your partner feels insecure about something so you say something that makes them feel better about it. Your boss asks about progress at work and you tell him or her that you’ve already got it done when maybe you have it on the list to do today. While these are small non-truthful statements, remember it’s about the energy associated with them. And that energy resides in your intentions - What was your reason for saying it, and how can you deliver and affirm that reason.

The truth is exactly as it is, you can’t make it up or fake it, and you’re always held accountable to it.

Things just keep seeming to get busier and busier don’t they? Sometimes it comes in waves, but I think a lot of the time it’s just our new reality. How many times have you heard someone say, “Sounds great! I just need to wait for things to cool down.” You might have even said it yourself, only to find that a week passes and a whole new list of things have been added to your plate.

Is that the perpetual cycle that we want to be our existence? I understand the value of being busy, trust me, but when this stuff comes up at the expense of the things you want to do, it’s a little harder to comprehend and it’s not going to resolve itself.

Even look at the phrase “Waiting for things to cool down.” I think we know by know what happens when we wait for things to get done. They don’t. So if we truly want to free up more time, to do more of the things we want to do, we need to take a proactive approach. I’ve recently implemented a few of these things into my life that I wanted to share.

First thing you need to do is become aware of how you’re spending your time. I wrote out my responsibilities and the time required to fulfill them, and am committed to tracking my behavior for the next month to gain more awareness. Then, and I haven’t gotten to this part yet, make a plan to take action based on what you learn. What things are your pouring time into unnecessarily? What priority is being neglected? That will give you the insight you need to change something so that things start going differently.

To me, that’s how things can actually cool down for you, it’s not waiting for things to happen, it’s taking ownership of your time and getting more intentional about how you spend it.

Susan McPherson, a serial connector in the social good space, has game-changing theories about growing your network. She utilizes the Gather-Ask-Do method of building meaningful relationships, allowing for reciprocal value to be shared and created for all parties involved. If you want to have stronger professional relationships most definitely can implement Susan’s Gather Ask Do framework, and your best suited starting at the beginning by learning how to gather the right community.

The Gather phase requires you to first become self-aware about what you’re looking for in a relationship, then also identify how you can build a community around your own goals. Then finally, it involves learning what you have to offer those people to help them with their personal mission. A theme in Susan’s book “The Lost Art of Connecting” is all about how you can lead with helping others, and the Gather phase is very much about being of service to the right group of people.