Our days start when we open our eyes. Some people have morning routines, some people Zombie walk to the bathroom, and some people hit the "Snooze" button. That first decision really does set the tone for your day, and it’s important to get it right. Regardless, when you do get up and start your day, there are a few really unique opportunities you can take advantage of.

One of those opportunities is the idea of being creative before you’re reactive. Once you check your email, check social media, or check your messages you immediately start answering to other people’s lives and no longer can completely live your own. You’re reminded you need to update your car registration, you hear some good news from a friend and you want to chat with them about it, your work makes a few requests of you... While all of those things need to be addressed in their own time, the second you’re exposed to them it shifts your mind and you start becoming reactive to their presence.

However, there is a lot of value to being creative every single day, and that ability is diluted when you start answering to other people. You can cut that out by silencing the inputs. Put your phone on silent, and don’t scroll through social media until you’ve taken the time to live in your own world and bring your own ideas to fruition. Without the external stimulation, during exercise you might start brainstorming ideas you can use later to improve the quality of your work. Or since you didn’t see that stress-inducing email, you can sit deeper into a personal meditation routine and align with your values. 

Creativity takes so many forms, and unfortunately we're pulled out of it so often by the pings, dings, and rings of life. Give yourself some time away from that, and make sure you have the opportunity to be creative before you become reactive.

The quote "Kill them with kindness" is funny because it’s such an oxymoron. The words “Kill” and “Kindness” don’t seem to belong in the same sentence, but it makes perfect sense when you think about it from a broader context. 

When we’re referencing the idea of “killing” in this quote, we’re not talking about taking a life. We’re talking about killing their argument, killing their vibe, or killing their accusations. This expression is usually used when someone has wronged you in some way, or they’re coming at you about something. When you choose to respond with kindness you’ll find that kindness is effective in deflecting the situation and often leads to a positive resolution. 

A perfect example of this is if someone is upset and challenging you, or disagreeing with something you did - Tell them "thank you". “Thanks for bringing this to my attention.” What can they do in response to that? They can’t keep digging into you because now it’s out of place. You’ve changed the nature of the situation. 

Or if there's someone who just doesn’t like you, or you don’t get along well with them, when you come across that person they might try to instigate confrontation or conflict. But don’t stoop to their level, treat them with kindness and respect, and they won’t know what to do because they were so prepared to battle you.

That’s the more appropriate meaning of the phrase. Be pleasant, mitigate conflict, have empathy, and "Kill them with kindness." That’s the real way to win.

There are two incredible motivating forces in life - Inspiration and desperation. They both have the ability to grab hold of you and get you to do whatever it is you need to get done. While the end result may be similar, which is pursuit of a better life, the means by which you pursue the end result are very different.

With inspiration, you’re connected to your future through purpose. You experience positive qualities like enthusiasm, ambition, and creative imagination. You are called to act because it’s in service of yourself and the world as you see it, giving you a way to improve your skills or actualize your potential around something that you’ve deemed worthy. That’s what inspiration is to me. You see a future that you’re attracted to because you and others would be better off because of it.

Desperation comes from the other side of the spectrum. You get it done because you need to, because there’s no other acceptable alternative. It often arises at times when you’re struggling. For your own safety or sanity, you're motivated to act in order to find your way out. It is exhausting to live desperately, and it causes you to be more willing to look past the ways you usually do things, sometimes even compromising your own ethics and integrity in order to do so.

While I haven’t truly experienced it for myself, I think desperation is a stronger motivator. Inspiration is more affirmational, and nice to have. Desperation is stressful and anxiety provoking, rooted in reality and a must have.

I bring up this topic because I think there’s a lot to be learned from knowing the sources of our motivation, and if you need to get something done, now you’re more prepared to tap into these motivational energies.

This is one of the most important topics in self-improvement approached in a slightly different way. When it comes to creating positive change in your life or the world, the most important factor is always consistency. But it’s not good enough to be consistent most of the time, you need to be consistent all of the time. Committing to doing something 98% of the time is incredible, but that extra 2% to get to 100% is disproportionately valuable not only from the results you can generate, but from the effort required to do it as well. 

First let me bring in an example from a book I just finished, “How Will You Measure Your Life” by Clayton Christensen. He talked about the idea of making exceptions, and if you allow yourself to make a concession once it opens the door to making more excuses in the future. This means that you need to use a lot of energy to stay disciplined because you’ve established that “not doing it” is an option. 

And then let’s also reflect on David Meltzer’s rule of Zeroing Out. Consistent behaviors compound on top of each other, allowing the same input to produce a larger output over time. But when you miss a day it’s like you throw a zero in that compounding equation and you have to start all the way back at the beginning again.

The way that I handle this, because of course there will be a day that you forget to do that thing, you need to affirm the original intention, and find a way to make up for the error. This allows you to bypass the “Zeroing Out” effect and justify that you didn’t make an excuse because you found a way to make yourself even again.

I know, doing something 100% of the time sounds difficult. But compared to 98% it is much more effective, and ultimately a lot easier.

Do you feel like there’s anything you’re doing in life where you’re just doing it to "check the box"? You know it’s a priority of yours, but maybe you’re not maximizing the benefit from actually doing it. Another way to phrase it is that you’re “going through the motions”. 

I’m totally guilty of this. There was a time when I’d close my eyes and sit in my chair for 10 minutes and tell myself I was meditating. Or during a workout, would show up to the gym and hardly exercise, just there to be there and not really making the most of it. While I am a fan of doing the mental reps and prioritizing consistency, I also think not applying yourself in these moments is a partial waste of time. For that reason, I’m encouraging you to stop going through the motions.

You know what it is for you, that thing where you show up and you don’t feel like your heart is really in it. Let’s fix that. First, remember your reason for doing it and tap into that deeply rooted motivation. You’re doing this thing for a reason, how is it meant to serve you? Then once you’re inspired, think about how you could challenge yourself in that area. A challenge brings your attention to the task in front of you and helps you to be more mindful of the activity. 

For me, I remembered that meditation helps me think creatively and manifest my future, so I challenged myself to start visualizing my affirmations. Now I no longer feel like I’m going through the motions with my meditation routine. My meditation is serving me exactly how I want it to! And if you want to receive the true benefit of whatever activity you’ve committed to, then don’t let yourself play at half speed and change it up.

This topic is a bit more advanced and is meant for someone who is pursuing greatness. When it comes to being the very best at something the margins are thin. Someone with a little more talent, know-how, or execution may beat another person out by the smallest of amounts. While the difference is small, it’s a very important amount because that narrow gap has major implications.

For example, in “The Compound Effect” by Darren Hardy this difference is evident. An example Darren uses relates to golf, and how the #1 in the world who plays only 2.7% better on average than the 10th in the world earns 5x as much money in tournament payouts. The #1 is only slightly better, but receives a much different financial outcome.

With that in mind, one of the differentiators at the top is an ability to move fast, which brings us back to today’s topic - Don’t flinch. When you flinch, you hesitate for the briefest of moments. You reflexively react in the smallest of ways in preparation of protecting yourself. However, in those moments where you lose concentration, your competitor is taking one more step forward, leaving you one step behind.

When I think of not flinching I think of a few things. The first being mindfulness, and not getting too emotionally wrapped up in what’s going on around you. The second is concentration, being so good at staying on task that little disruptions don’t knock you down. And last is preparation. Having thought through various situations in advance so that you know the proper response and can act on it before too much time has passed.

Let's turn to one of the utmost experts in motivation, performance, and living a life based on values -John Wooden. Coach Wooden is known for many inspirational quotes, one of the most prominent being “Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out.” 

This quote demonstrates how our results are in our control. Our life, our destiny, our success, is most predicated on our decision to make it so. We are the creator of our future and the beneficiary of our own efforts. We all know that one person who just continues to have bad things come their way, where one unfortunate thing is layered on with another and another. That’s someone choosing to make the worst of a bad situation. 

Instead of looking at the circumstance, I try to look at how they might be responsible for what’s happening in the most indirect of ways, and how they may be attracting those things into their life. This is the person that finds the sliver lining in everything. The person who has faith and respect for the way life is happening for them. They put off an energy that attracts good things into their life, and ultimately that’s how this all works. 

But let’s go back to the quote and dissect it a bit - How do we "make the best of the way things turn out"? We control our energy through our perspective. We choose to see life’s circumstances as the best thing that could have ever happened to us. And we perpetually wear a lens that adjusts reality to appear more constructive and optimistic. It’s crazy but it’s true, on a weird metaphysical level all of these things are connected and your future truly is shaped by your present. So if you want the future to be bright, make the present bright, and you’ll see first hand how "things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out".

We can work as hard as we want to make progress on something, but that doesn’t guarantee that you’re going to produce anything meaningful. It's not enough to work hard, you also need to be working specifically in the right way so that your hard work is actually effective. This probably isn’t new to you, you’ve heard the expression “Work smarter, not harder” before, but I want to make this a bit more tangible by sharing an additional quote by Abraham Lincoln - “Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.”

If your task is to cut down a tree, you could put a bunch of effort into swinging a dull axe that hardly makes any progress. Sure, you’ll get more swings in, but when it comes to cutting the tree down your effort yields minimal results. If you invest the time instead in being more efficient, helping your tools and effort to be more effective, then you’re more likely to cut the tree down but with less physical work. 

It’s a great concept, but then that leads to the next question - How do you sharpen the saw? You invest in building systems. You take an extra 20 minutes to write out your protocol so that you can duplicate the activity exactly how you need it to be done. You prepare your environment in a way that’s conducive to the behaviors you want to do. You’re clear on the task, why the task matters, and why other things should be avoided so you can stay focused. That’s sharpening the axe. That’s fitting more than 6 hours worth of time into two hours. And it’s all possible because you’ve taken time to prepare and optimize.