Self Improvement Daily Podcast

As a kid, do you remember hearing the expression “you can be whatever you want to be”? Even though I’m not a professional athlete, or an author, , I still love playing sports and writing! I understand that life happens and it’s not always practical to be whatever you want to be, but that doesn’t mean you should stop working on things you love.

Lets discuss the importance of having a passion project. Whether that means you have an art studio in your house, a business on the side, or a self-care hobby, it is important to stay in touch with things you are passionate about.  

Beyond your extrinsic reasons, having a passion project will motivate you to be productive and efficient during the day so you can get to something you really enjoy. This outlet will also energize you because it wakes up your brain and stimulates your body. It also will get you in the habit of putting more effort into your work.

To start pursuing your passion, you first need to know what you’re passionate about. Simply reflect on your 5 happiest moments this past year and what caused that emotion. Then find a way to tie into your daily activity.

Let listen to this Ted Talk snippet from Phil Boissiere and a technique he developed to simplify how we practice mindfulness.

"Mindfulness. It has really become the buzz word in recent times. There is an abundant amount of research illustrating the positive affect that mindfulness practice has on the quality of life, improved focus, and decreased stress. Unfortunately, most of us tend to pump the brakes when we think about sequestering even a small amount of time to practice mindfulness. I paired one of the most basic breathing techniques alongside one of the most basic mindfulness techniques, thus, the three-by-three method was born. The three-by-three method is extremely simple. All you are going to do is identify one physical object in the environment, name it, and take one deep breath, and repeat it three times".

Next time you feel stress or want to re-center your emotions, try the three-by-three method to practice mindfulness.

You can avoid falling victim to the hindsight bias by practicing objectivity. Our brain is flooded by stimuli throughout the day, and it is impossible to remember everything. For that reason, our brains choose to fixate on certain things in particular that seem like they are worth remembering and everything else is purged. This is why it seems like something always happens, because the times it doesn’t happen aren’t encoded into long-term memory.  

Now how does this change our lives?  Well, the things we choose to remember are often negative and our mood and focus change as a result. With more distractions, we can’t get as much done. The fix is to take a moment to step away from an aggravating situation and look at it objectively. "Do I actually always miss this light?"  "Does he actually take long lunches?"  In some cases, sure, your feelings are justified, but very often you realize that your assumption is pretty flawed. Don’t let those negative emotions get you when they shouldn’t.

So, the next time you are annoyed about something that just doesn’t seem to be going your way, take a moment to reflect and see if that’s actually the way it is.  

Will power. It’s something you’re either born with, or your not, right?  Wrong!  Studies show that will power is actually utilized like a muscle, and that it depletes in strength when you use it just like a muscle does.  There’s a really cool study done at Case Western University that I want to quickly share.  One group of participants were asked to eat a cookie, and another group was asked to eat a raddish with a plate of cookies next to it that they couldn’t have. Then both groups did a difficult puzzle, and the study found that those who resisted the cookie gave up sooner because they had already expended their will power.

So today’s tip is to train your will power, and there are two ways to do that, two will power workouts.  

The first workout - set yourself up for success by writing down what you need to do and when it needs to be done by.  This is like stretching your muscle and getting it ready to go.  Workout 2 is to condition yourself and build discipline.  make a plan for how you can tackle the task gradually and follow through with it.  

I’m feeling stronger already!  Give those two exercises a try next time you don’t feel like doing something.

I’m a big believer in the effects of bottom up processing, meaning your body can influence your mind’s activity. So, I try to create good physical habits that influence my mind positively.  

So here it is. At the end of a run, or a workout, or sometimes even after I finish a big task, I clench my fists and hold my arms above my head to celebrate like a boxer.  I probably look really dumb doing it but it feels good.

Physiologically, your body releases positive neurotransmitters as a result of your strong body posture, and that paired with an endorphin high and the satisfaction of having a good workout makes for a pretty nice kick. I usually talk to myself to pump myself up, but I don’t need to get into that one. This whole process energizes me to transition into my next task and keep the momentum going.  

I know it’s corny but give it a try. At the end of your next work out, stretch your arms out above your head, clench your fists, and hold it like a champion!  You’ll feel like you can conquer the world.  

Legend says that this was taught to man by the immortal buddha, and since has been used by people like Tony Robbins, Oprah Winfrey, and Denzel Washington. It is about believing in something so much that you can will it into existence. This is called the Law of Attraction. 

It’s an all or nothing mentality, and may not be for everyone, but at the very least it will be a useful insight into the minds of some of the worlds’ great successes. It’s a process that involves repetitive behaviors that condition your mind of some truth. This is done through affirmations, visualization, and performance checks. The law of attraction is on display in the behavior of one fierce competitor, UFC fighter connor mcgregor, and his rise to the top.  

Connor’s mentality clearly demonstrates an all in, unwavering vision for his life and what he wants. It is incredible to see the power of the mind and how it can get results.

Here’s a trick that will help with your communication skills.  So often, in conversation, do we feel like we need to fill a silence with noise to relieve the tension. In reality, it is better idea to embrace the silence, as it is a stronger statement and testament to your comfortability in the conversation.

You’ve heard the phrase “pause for effect” before I’m sure, especially in a public speaking setting, but the same concept can and should be used on a daily basis.  A master of this is perhaps the most influential speaker in history, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

"And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream. I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal."

A pause in conversation does a few interesting things. For starters, it makes both people think deeply what was just said, and even draw some of their own conclusions in only seconds.  Additionally, it shows that you are comfortable being vulnerable, which comes off as a clear sign of confidence.  And last, it allows the speaker more time to think, which in turn makes them more eloquent and impactful with their words.  Next time you’re in a conversation, embrace the silent moments, and feel the empowerment.

Feeling discouraged is a natural part of life. We all have moments when we wonder why we spend our time and energy doing the things that we do. Perspective is huge, and knowing that getting observable results takes time, is a necessary perspective to have. Fabio Marrama shares a bit about his relationship with this reality.

" How many people can relate to this quote, 'I do not know what I am doing, but I know what I am doing is leading me somewhere good'. That is the epitome of my life right now. I think it is am awesome quote because nobody knows what they are going to be doing in five years. Some people do, but most people do not. Listen, If you have that quote on your mind, just keep doing it. That means you are doing little compound things that are opening doors of opportunity of new challenges that is leading somewhere good. A saw a great quote by Goldie Chan, and she stated, 'I do not really know what I am doing, but I know that I am doing a lot of it really well'. Keep doing those things. Listen, you do not have to know exactly what you are going to be doing in five years . But, if that is the thing that is in on your mind, just keep doing it. You are going to be going to some great places that you didn't expect".

Marrama does a great job articulating the concept of delayed gratification. Keep your chin up, because the wins are around the corner.

Let’s have an introspective and reflective moment. Which of your qualities are most important to you? Take a good hard look at yourself and see what you find. The reason I ask is because the answer to that question is usually pretty revealing.  It tells you what you really prioritize about yourself. Another way of putting it, it uncovers your core principles. So, lets take the time to formalize your core principles.

When I started this process myself, it took me over a week to figure out what I truly hold most dear and what I take the most pride in. I still see this as a dynamic process, and my own core principles will always be re-evaluated based on new circumstances. Nonetheless, it is important to have them.  For example, my core principles are Quiet Diligence, Dream Big, Enjoy the Journey, and Dependable Execution. I am still working on a fifth, which is something along the lines of Treat People Right.  

Having formal and explicit Core principles provides a cornerstone for all decision making. If they truly reflect the person you want to be, then you can use them in any dilemma, with the point being that all decision align with your overall vision for yourself and the person you want to be. 

If having concise representations of complex concepts is difficult for you, like it was for me, then I suggest adding smaller affirmations that contribute to the larger core principle.  For example, within quiet diligence, one affirmation is, “i believe in practicing humility and letting actions speak louder than words”.