I want to share something I learned at sales training that really stuck with me. It is a very empathetic technique that doesn’t feel natural at first, but with repeated use it gets a lot easier.  I myself am still working on presenting it smoothly.  

What I was taught in sales, is that its important to first probe your target to figure out how you can deliver value, Then, explain why your product or service fills that need, with the close coming at the end of that explanation.  The very small part I want to focus on here is when you check to see if your communication was effective.

The tip. Instead of asking the clarifying question “Do you understand”, instead ask “Did I explain that well?”.

Framing the clarifier in this way seems subtle but it is packed with implications. Most notably, if the point wasn’t effectively communicated, stating it as an “I” statement, "Did I explain that well?", implies that you are the one responsible for the misunderstanding. This is important because it ensures that you are being respectful of the target’s intelligence level while making sure they understand exactly what you are trying to say.  Growing on that, putting the responsibility on yourself is an act of humility that often goes appreciated in relationships, and anything that strengthens the rapport in the conversation is a step closer to a sale. Lastly, by allowing the target to be disassociated from the error, they are more likely to admit if they don’t completely understand, which will let you get deeper into your pitch.

You can train yourself to say, “Did I explain that well” instead of “do you understand” just as you would train any sales technique, which includes rehearsals, role plays, and memorization. And if you manage to make the substitution naturally, I’m curious to hear about your results!

I want to share something from Kim Kaupe, the CEO of the SuperFan Company, who talks about the most effective method to work your way to the top of your company, which is simply by helping out.

This would help not only at work, but in just about anything! People appreciate when you go out of your way to lend a helping hand.

If you need to spend time digging deeper into something, whether it is to solve a problem, or come up with something creative, try creating a vision board. This isn’t a novel concept, some of our first projects in school involved creating big poster boards. However, a lot of us have forgotten how useful of a tool this actually is.

Let’s take a step back and talk about why it works. First, getting everything down in front of you in one place does wonders for creating associations. Instead of spending our brain power recalling information, you can dedicate your energy to finding those hidden relationships subtle similarities that help solve the puzzle.  Also, your capability to process the information increases when the thoughts are presented in a tangible way, because by nature it activates more areas of your brain. 

To give it a try, when you have something big you want to figure out, you need to be prepared. The limiting factor in this equation is having the resources to create a good visual representation of your thoughts. So, something you could do proactively is to have sticky notes, colored pens, a poster board, and all necessary tools on hand so you can jump right into it when it is time. This is exactly why a lot of companies have whiteboards readily accessible throughout the office.

The visual representation can take a bunch of different forms. Whether it is scrapbooking, writing ideas on stickies, or drawing charts and webs, try to find the way that makes the most sense to you. The bigger and more colorful the presentation, the better!

In this powerful clip, Mel Robbins explains to someone who is struggling to find meaningful relationships how their life would transform if they were to support other people more. Without further adieu lets jump into it.

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So, be a cheerleader, and as Mel Robbins explained, it works for obvious reasons in all facets of your life. But, what does that look like from an actionable standpoint?  For starters, ask people about their lives, but that’s an obvious one. Something I like doing is when responding to a direct message, email, or text, talk about them at the beginning of your response before sharing about yourself. And also really important, minimize your complaining. It comes off as a very self-centered act and it doesn’t really make anything better.

Being a cheerleader is a classic way to improve your life by improving others. It comes in many forms, so don’t shy away from trying new things out!

Are you familiar with the expression “trust your instincts”? If the right thing to do is to trust our instincts, then why do we hesitate so much when it comes to taking action?

Lets discuss moving fast when committing to decisions you have already made. 

It is scientifically proven that the urge to act fades away the longer we wait to take action. This happens because we have more time to come up with excuses and try to rationalize our behavior. This is due to our brains are that are hardwired to seek comfort and reject uncertainty, so our brains work overtime to eliminate spontaneous urges. So, if there is something you want to try, or a courageous act you want to pursue, you are more likely to follow through and do it if you move fast.

Hesitation is the enemy in this scenario because it gives us more time to overthink things, when our gut instinct is telling us what we want to do. Trust your instincts and do it. This concept is demonstrated in one of my favorite quotes, “Don’t pump fake the money shot”, which is all about failing to act in the big moment. 

So, one way to move fast is to develop a starting ritual when you feel a moment of hesitation. This ritual can be a form of self-talk, like a motivating affirmation.  Alternatively, it could be a breathing pattern, a nice stretch, or even a clap. Think about which of these options seems most realistic in your life, and try it the next time you feel some hesitation.

What do you do when you are overwhelmed by tasks?  Do you have a sound and optimized decision making strategy?

Something that helps a lot of people make decisions is using former US Presidents Dwight D Eisenhower’s guidelines called the Eisenhower matrix.

The matrix divides each decision into two categories. How urgent it is, and how important it is. Based on those two factors, you have a better structure for how to attack it. If something is both urgent and important, do it now. If it is urgent and unimportant, delegate it to someone else. If it is not urgent but important, schedule to do it another time, and last, if it is neither urgent nor important, eliminate it. With this framework, you will have more success moving between tasks and making final decisions, allowing you to be more productive with your time and work with more conviction.  

First, familiarize yourself with these four different options, or make a poster and keep it on your wall. Then, as problems arise, write them on a sticky note and figure out where on the matrix they belong. You’ll soon realize the right way to proceed has been decided for you.

Let’s be honest, there are a million ways to talk yourself out of doing something. Messages like what if I mess up, or what if I do it wrong, or what if I don’t meet expectations? You can hear the self-doubt creeping in, but did you hear the common theme? 

Stop asking yourself, “What If”. There is a large degree of variability, probability, and inconsistency in everything we do, and if we are always worried about these little factors, we wouldn’t get anything done. By thinking about all of the "What If" scenarios, you are passively looking for a way out, and your brain to begins justifying why you shouldn’t do something before you have even thought about it.    

A different option, though, is if the script is flipped. "What If" can be used in a positive way, it’s just not as common. Say for example, what if I get the job? Or, what if she says yes when I ask her out? Approaching situations with an optimistic "What If" might be exactly what is needed!

But, let’s go back. What do we do when the negative "What Ifs" creep in? It’s pretty easy actually, just replace one word, switch up the order and Instead say “So What?”.  This expression still lets you think about the consequences built into whatever you are thinking about, but approaches it in a much more manageable way that isn’t setting yourself up for self-doubt. Next time you’re trying to talk yourself into something, or out of something, ask yourself “So What” instead of “What If”.

 The concept of priming was proposed by Daniel Kahneman in his book, Thinking Fast and Slow.

By definition, priming is when factors in the environment create a predisposition to think a certain way, and operates at an unnoticeable level. Here is a good example to illustrate the concept. You have the letters s o blank p in front of you, and you are told to fill in the blank. If you are given the context of food, you will be more likely to place a u to make the word soup.If you hear mention of cleaning supplies, you are more likely to add an a to make the word soap.  As subtle as that difference is, it creates a drastically and consistently different result.   

So, lets discuss the power of priming.

We are capable of priming our own brains to respond quicker and stronger to certain triggers, thus improving our performance, but it takes some work. It can be used to help shift our mentality, make better decisions, or control our emotions. For instance, if you are easily frightened in scary movies, you can prime yourself to smile in that moment to mask your negative emotion. The first step is knowing what result you want to have or avoid, and then work backwards to associate that response with the trigger. The cool thing about priming is once your brain has made the shift, it will work to your advantage without you having to ask it to!