WBeing human is about instinct, and I’m still trying to wrap my head around exactly what it is, and why it exists. It had an initial purpose way back in our evolutionary history as a mechanism for survival, where having an innate sense about the way things are, particularly when they don’t feel right, was the difference between life and death.  

The stakes aren’t quite as high, but instinct still plays an important role in our lives. Being in tune with that feeling is incredibly important to have a complete understanding of how we are meant to respond.  This thought was inspired by Mike Sherbakov, an incredible philanthropist and entrepreneur, who has coined this feeling “divine discomfort”. 

The point that Mike really brings home is the way we approach that discomfort - do we ignore it and let it fester in our subconscious, or do we address it and use it to make a change?  With his life experience, he has learned to trust that the discomfort he feels is communicating something unique and important.  Allowing space for it in your mind, and to not reject it, is an essential way of coming upon a new realization.

Do you ever feel like something happens and it is the end of the world, only to realize a few days, weeks, or months later, it wasn’t as big of a deal as you thought?  It’s human nature and you’re not alone, it happens all the time. I’ll admit, those emotions feel very real, but there are things you can do to make them more manageable in that moment.  

Write down your issue so you can revisit it at a later date, or as I call it, “Write and Revisit”. 

The Write and Revisit Method works because the physical action of writing your concern down addresses the issue face on, as you are actively working through it. This  operates in two ways. First, when you reread the problem immediately, you can look at it more objectively because at that point it has been removed from yourself, and you may already feel better about the situation. Second, I write down the issue in my journal, “The Happiness Project”, ensuring that I am going to reread that segment in a years time. This puts everything into perspective and reminds me that time and life will go on regardless of this issue, which helps me move beyond it.  

Write and Revisit doesn’t have to be in year long spurts. It can be done in the amount of time feels right to you. What is important is that you write it with the intent to revisit it. So, with the next end-of-the-world event you face, try the “Write and Revisit” method, and see how it makes you feel.

The bottom line to making an effort is that you need to try. It’s all about your intentions. This is demonstrated by the amount of energy you put into something which shows your commitment and prioritization, because it is worth your energy.  

However, there are different ways to try, and that’s what I want to jump into.

First, is to be present. Making an effort to plan around a certain person or event indicates that you are doing everything you can to be a part of it. The obvious implication is that you took the time to organize and prioritize the event, which is a true dedication to making something work in your life. 

But, you can make an effort by demonstrating how much you care without being present. This might be best explained in an example. Let’s say you’re invited to a birthday party, but you can’t make it because of a scheduling conflict. You can still make an effort by playing a role in planning the party, sending a gift that makes you part of the event, or by calling in and including yourself in the excitement before the event and the reflection after the event. That’s all people really care about, that you care, and you can show that without being there.

So, make an effort simply by trying. But, try in the way that is most practical given the event. Anything in life requires efforts, especially relationships, and your presence and best wishes are a form of support that will strengthen your bonds.

Valentine’s day has the reputation of being about romantic love, but it doesn’t have to be. It’s never the wrong time to spread love, because this world could always use a little more of it.

For me, love involves devotion, and I don’t reserve the specifically for my significant other. I am devoted to my family, friends, and even my causes and passions.  We are surrounded by love and I think Valentine’s Day is the perfect day to recognize that.

So, let’s run through a few reminders.

Today, love yourself, because even though we can be way too critical on ourselves, we are devoted to our own happiness and success. That is self-love.

Love your significant other. I never said to ignore romantic love, it’s a very important part of our lives. Make sure they know how much you care, and do that everyday, but especially today.

Love your friends. Tell them that you are grateful for the influence they have in your life, and encourage them to understand how important they are to you. You are not the same person without them.

Send some love into your environment. The people, places, and things we choose to surround ourselves with respond to the energy we put out, and it’s a better world for everyone when we inject positivity whenever we can.

And last, tell your family you love them. Family is one of those things that you don’t get to choose, but it is the foundation that the rest of your life is built on.  And many family members have made sacrifices for you, and it’s important to be devoted to appreciating them. My grandma has been my Valentine for 26 years, and today is no different, she always will be!

I was looking a bit into the story of Ellen DeGeneres, and I was inspired to hear a bit about her life, and the obstacles she has faced to become who she is.  She lived privately as a homosexual for a long time, and even had to deal with the tragic death of her girlfriend.  She slowly worked her way through the entertainment ranks, and found herself as the star of her own tv series and was killing it.  She then made a move that put her entire career in jeopardy, and came out in a large and unexpected publicity stunt.  She had a tough time securing work for many years and thought it was the end.  

Ellen has been through a lot in her life, and everything she experienced has contributed to the person and comedian she is today, which is one of the most beloved daytime tv host in the industry.  And knowing that it wasn’t always that way makes her influence that much more meaningful.

More recently, she had the opportunity to play Dory in the movie Finding Nemo. Dory dealt with many of her own challenges, and approached her issues with her own philosophy, drawing many parallels to Ellen and the way she approaches her own life. The movie is about the most improbable quest of retrieving Nemo from across the world, and Ellen’s famous line embodies the main message in the story. “just keep swimming”.

It’s a powerful quote that has meaning both within the context of the movie and life in general.  In the movie, “just keep swimming" was the necessary action to accomplish the large feat of crossing the ocean, but more abstractly, it was how they coped with the improbability of the task,. This quote also helped them move forward without thinking too much about it.

In life, it takes a similar meaning.  Sometimes we are faced with huge and overwhelming setbacks, and there is no end in sight.  Remembering to “just keep swimming” can help us to take steps forward however possible, persevere in the smallest ways, and distract us from the reality of the circumstance. It also gives us hope that with enough time and energy, we can make it out the other end and overcome whatever is paining us.  It’s a mentality that has been adopted by so many to date, including Ellen, that can change lives.

So whatever you’re going through, know that there is an end to the madness, and just keep swimming until you get there.

Alright, picture this scenario. You’re in a parking lot and you just finished loading your groceries in the car. You, then, look to return your cart but you don’t see a convenient place to do so.  What do you do?

Okay, same situation, but this time there is a child in your cart.  Now, what do you do?

This scenario was analyzed in a scientific American article, revealing some pretty compelling psychological implications to the decisions we make in this situation. We are primarily motivated to act by two things. these are injunctive norms, which is how others will judge our behavior, and descriptive norms, which is how we use contextual clues to make decisions.

The article goes on to explain that there are 4 main responses. People who always return their cart, people who never return their cart, people who only return their cart when it’s close and convenient, and people who return their carts when they feel pressure from others around them.  

So, be an always returner. We should not let other factors dictate our actions. We should act with intention, and follow through on the principles that are important to us, even if it takes us 30 seconds out of our way.  Having this mentality in all areas of life, including in the grocery store parking lot, allows you to have more will power in other actions that have a larger influence on the state of your life. It serves as an opportunity to flex your will power muscles! Be someone with sound principles, ethical, moral and just, and hold yourself to those principles at all times!

This is a leadership tip from LinkInfluencer Founder Alex Pirouz, but before getting into that let’s talk about the qualities of a good leader. A good leader is someone who leads from the front, has a personal connection with their team, someone who can get the most out of their team, and someone who does what’s best for the group no matter what. That last part is what Alex’s thoughts are about how a leader must put their ego aside to do what’s best.

It’s a great lesson to learn. It applies to everyone, we are all leaders in our own ways, regardless of your position in a team. As a part of a team, it is essential that you do what is best for the group, knowing that personal success comes along with team success.

I spent my childhood by the beach in Southern California, and received an amazing opportunity to play collegiate soccer at the University of California, Davis. In my time there, I studied Neurobiology and became fascinated about understanding the way people think. I applied that interest in my first job as a medical device sales rep, gaining a unique skill-set with great experience, and now work at a startup as a marketer and strategist. I come from an extremely supportive and loving family, and am very driven by living a principled, joyful, and optimistic life.

Whew, I feel like I pulled the curtains on that one. But, see what I did there? In under 30 seconds, I managed to give you a much better picture about who I am, what I do, and why I do it. This is an important skill for many people to master.

We all have a story to tell, and as difficult as it may be for you to see, your story is truly unlike any other. And it is interesting! Maybe this is my Neurobiology and Psychology background speaking, but I am always fascinated to hear about how certain people become the way that they are.

But why tell a story? Well, it’s because people are more likely to follow, understand, and enjoy your message. Jonah Berger’s book, Contagious, talks about viral marketing tactics, and highlights “Stories” as the final component that incorporates all of the other marketing tactics. This is because stories are an extremely effective way of portraying emotional, practically valuable, and relevant information in an entertaining way.

When it comes to a quick personal pitch or story, you should obviously make it your own, but be sure to touch on the who, what, and why. With that framework, you will be able to concisely share information that will help others understand more about you, allowing them to better work with, relate to, and inspire you.