As you could imagine, it is important some people are well-liked, and this is something I struggled with for a long time as well. It took me a few years and some major realizations for me to overcome this feeling, and I want to share a bit about what that process is like.

The first thing I had to realize is some people just don’t mix, and it’s no fault of your own. People aren’t always compatible, and it’s important to understand and accept that.

The second thing I had to realize is when thinking about the opinions of others, think hard about if that person’s approval is something that is really important to you. Is the person that doesn’t support your message someone you want to dedicate that much energy to in your life?

And lastly, what is most important is that you like you. The only person that you spend every moment of every day with is yourself, and that’s the person you need to take care of the most.

So, if someone doesn’t like you, what does that mean? Well, think about the reason why that might be. Is it jealousy? Is it because you did them wrong? Determining the cause of the disagreement, and how you feel about the nature of it, will help you think more about how important it is. If you aren’t proud of something and want to reconcile a situation, then it likely is important to think about how to make this person like you. But if it’s something that you feel confident in, then maybe it’s best they’re kept at arms distance.

It has been a while since I featured something from Mel Robbins. She is one of my favorite thinkers and she shares a valuable message.

While Mel speaks referring to romantic relationships and companionship, it’s important to extend the same thought into different areas. Is that new car going to make you intrinsically happy, or is it compensating for something you’re afraid to admit. Is your social media page filled with affirmations that you don’t live by? So often, when we come across challenges, we look for solutions and explanations that are out of our control. There is a comfort in not taking responsibility for things. But those external things are just band aids, and if you want to really cut to the core of the issue, you need to look inside yourself.

Down the road, I’ve heard that the strongest negative emotion humans feel is regret. They wish they tried this, or did that, or maybe wasted too much time doing something else. Similarly, a lot of people regret their outlook on life and their mentality that they wasted too much time stressing about things or neglecting things that were important to them.

It is possible to have the best of both worlds with doing something in the moment that prepares you for fulfillment in the future. That thing is to choose positivity.  When you feel like you are living, enjoying the moment, and experiencing special things, it is hard to hold on to regret. Choosing to see things as a positive influence in your life will help you minimize that regret when you get older. So, do something today that your future self will thank you for.

There is nothing more human than a human connection. With the rise of technology, we are starting to lose sight of that. But, we still know that there is so much joy to be found, opportunity within, and emotion around building face to face relationships.

A timeless book titled Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi, gives us the best practices on how to build a network. A network is important professionally because, as per the latest estimates, 80% of job placements are done through referral rather than a traditional interview. So to be successful, it’s important that you know people, and Keith Ferazzi’s book does a great job explaining how to do so.

The first thing to keep in mind is the type of relationship you’re looking to build. Ferrazzi puts it as having refrigerator rights. Basically, you should have relationships that are intimate enough that you have no issue going through each other’s fridge without permission, which is pretty intimate if you ask me, but a relatable standard.

He also explains that relationships are like muscles, don’t work them and they won’t grow, work them too hard and they’ll strain. These relationships require reciprocation to continue validating that there is mutual value in the exchange. The quality of time is better than the quantity of time.

Lastly, Ferrazzi talks about being proactive about building your network, and that you should do it before you need it. This gives you the time to let those relationships mature and leverage them when the time is right for you.

If you’re looking to grow your network, look no further than Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi. He is full of great ideas that can improve the quality of your relationships and life.

Many people are fighting with themselves, trying unsuccessfully to manage their own lives. Whether it is depression, substance abuse, addiction, or anything really, it feels like a solo battle, but know that these people aren’t alone. There are many ways to get help, and that everyone has what it takes inside themselves to beat it. 

An extremely brave soul by the name of Brittany Burgunder is a pioneer in the fight against eating disorders after living through it herself. But, her message applies far beyond her immediate influence.

As Brittany mentions, it is a long process to get back to being okay and restoring quality of life. The first and most important step for someone is to admit they have a problem, because that can serve as the trigger and motivation for more action to take place.  

Big or small, I challenge you to take a look at yourself and see what you find. Maybe you aren’t motivated to workout, and you could use the accountability of a coach or friend. Or maybe you eat too many sweets before bed. Or maybe you do have clinical depression. Whatever it might be, the first step in the right direction is acknowledging you have a solvable problem and need help.

Recently, I watched a movie called “Free Solo”, which is about a guy named Alex Honnold who dared to climb El Capitan, one of the tallest rock faces in the world, without a support rope.  It is arguably one of the greatest athletic feats in history, but the underlying message in it was fascinating and something I want to talk more about.

At one point in the movie, Alex said something extremely profound. Alex stated, “if you keep pushing to the edge, eventually you’re going to find it”.  While the quote has quite a literal meaning in his life, the figurative meaning applies to us all.  So often are we told to go above and beyond and push the boundary because that is where opportunity lies. But, that thinking is misguided if you believe that there is no limit to the possibility.  The reason people color between the lines is because there is danger in stepping outside of the lines. This means that you need to take extra caution and be prepared for things to go wrong anytime you do push the boundary.

Now, how do we quantify that trade-off?  It seems like a big dilemma between risk and reward.

Well in Alex’s case, it was deciding between life and death. The way he approached it is exactly how all of us should approach our own relatable circumstance. First, Alex was practical, and had accepted the consequences of his decision, which freed him to act without obstruction. Second, he prepared incessantly, and got to a point where he was content with being uncomfortable.

While the stakes might not be so severe in your life, be mindful of this trade-off between risk and reward. Be sure to pursue opportunities in a way dares you to dream and acknowledges your limits.

How often does this happen to you. You hope for big results and create big plans, but then when it comes to start working toward it you don’t know where to start?

That’s me, and just about every big plan I’ve had.

But I’ve gotten better at it over the time, and here’s why

I started slowing down and thinking about the actionable steps that create results.  This often involves setting micro goals, forecasting timelines, and not thinking twice about decisions I’ve already made. In my mind, all of the above and more are all part of creating a cohesive action plan.

Action plans are important because they do exactly mean what they imply. They give you direction on how to go about executing.  An action plan naturally has a hierarchy of priorities that can help you to complete more fundamental components before others and set you up for success.

Still, going through an action plan can be daunting, especially at the beginning, because there is such a long list of things you have to do to get there.

So do you want to hear my personal hack? Add things to your action list that are already completed!  This will shift your psychology on how you approach your list of things to do.  

How does this happen? It’s the endowed progress effect. Basically, if you have already made some form of advancement toward a goal, you will be more motivated to complete the goal because you’ve already made progress. So in this case, having a few things completed on your action plan will help motivate you get to other items in it!

I don’t consider it cheating, I call it working with what you’ve got!

“I may not be there yet, but I am closer than I was yesterday.

This quote is all about acknowledging progress. When working towards our goals, we can get impatient and hope to get results in a time frame faster than we are meant to. This can create disappointment, and discourage us from continuing to take our goals as seriously. It creates room for excuses and doubt. But, when you assert to yourself that you know you’re not at your goal yet, a strange thing happens. Your current becomes more contextual, both in the sense of looking forward and looking behind you. Recognizing that you are on the path to your goal, you can begin to see how the pieces come together and the stars align.

Seeing life in this way, that small wins compound into large wins, brings a wave of positivity into your life that enriches your every action. With that heightened motivation and presence, you can be more effective making more progress on your goals, feeding and sustaining the cycle.

So, if things don’t seem like they’re coming together how you wanted, or something still seems to be missing, provide a layer of context to the state of it, you may not be there yet, but you are closer than you were yesterday.