A great quality to have in life is an ability to be flexible. While it is generally healthy to be physically flexible, what I’m talking about is to be flexible within your day. High performers are really good at making the most of whatever they’ve got to work with. They find a way to win within unfamiliar, uncertain, and unpredicted circumstances.

Ultimately, flexibility is the perfect combination of structure and freedom. If things are too structured, then either it’s resistant to variation or breaks under stress. If things are too free, then they don’t take shape in such a way that can hold anything significant. Flexibility maintains the best of both - it’s not too rigid and not too loose.

One of the hallmark characteristics of flexibility is that it has a baseline structure to it. When under normal, non-straining conditions, it rests in a comfortable state. When it is under strain, it temporarily compromises its shape to accommodate the demand but then returns it’s preferred state when normal conditions are reestablished.

That’s exactly what happens when you have flexibility in a day. You have your schedule that you follow with discipline, but then as things come up you can effectively move things around to prioritize what’s urgent without deprioritizing other major commitments. Flexibility in your spending finds that perfect contrast between having sound principles and making reasonable exceptions to the rules when the setting calls for it. Flexibility in your diet helps you to find the healthy option when eating out with friends without being overbearing about your dietary restrictions.

Maximizing your flexibility requires two things: That you implement solid structure in your life to create meaningful restriction, and that you keep an open-mind so that you’re not attached to things being exactly a certain way, and you can creatively navigate what life throws at you.

And over time, as you get feedback, understand your tolerance, and become clearer on what you want, your flexibility forms into the amount that is right for you.

One of my favorite quotes of all time comes from Ralph Waldo Emerson, and it goes “What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say.” After all, actions speak louder than words.

But I don’t think that tells the full story. I’m someone who cares a lot about intentions. There’s a full context behind what you do that says a lot about you. That’s why perhaps the greatest testament of character is the way you act, and not the things that you do.

The way you act is the way you show up on a moment to moment basis. It’s the energy that you bring to what you do. While it’s largely imperceptible to others, doing somethin for one reason has a different meaning than if you do it for another. And sometimes you’re the only one that knows the difference.

This mirrors a stoic concept called ‘arete’, which loosely translates to ‘being the best version of yourself moment to moment’. Arete is about living a virtuous life that you’re proud to lead, with integrity and authenticity.  The things you do are a byproduct of what really matters, which is the way you act.

When you encounter a challenge or setback, you step up courageously to the task. When you have a disagreement with someone else, you reject being defensive and take the position of being patient as you seek to understand. When someone makes a mistake that negatively affects you, you respond with encouragement and calmness. Life’s adversities put your character to the test, and It’s how you show up to these events that puts your true self on display.

Speaking from personal experience, I’m certainly not perfect. Every day I experience moments where I could have done better, lost control, or wasn’t as thoughtful as I could have been. And often this leads to choices and actions that aren’t optimal. But equally, every day I reinforce my commitment to acting as the best, most virtuous version of myself.

Yes, observe what someone does because it’s often a reflection of their motivations and intentions. Believe what someone does more than what they say. But also, consider the engine behind what they do as you decide what to think about it. Public speaking might be scary to one person and commonplace to the next, so it’s impossible to judge the action itself. It’s the virtues the person embodies in taking the action that represents a fuller version of the truth.

In our pursuit to become the best versions of ourselves, and be an inspiring example for others, there are two different sources of transformation: Inside out and outside in.

First, inside out - This is when you energize your own positive change. You take the initiative to read a new book, listen to a podcast, and implement an idea into your life. We can only make choices from our current level of awareness, and by investing in acquiring more wisdom you can elevate your awareness and improve the way you navigate the world. The inside out direction of growth represents how your own internal shifts change the shape of your external world.

Outside in growth is the opposite and in my opinion, way more powerful. This is the influence that your environment has on you. It’s how your habits and lifestyle resembles the 5 people you spend the most time with (without you even intending to do so). Your walking pace speeds up and slows down based on who you’re walking with. Humans have survived many years because we are adaptable, but this also means that we are susceptible to external forces. It’s the design of the environment around us that plays a large role in determining what happens.

That’s why the fastest way to improve your life is to plant yourself in a community of people who are taking action at the level you want to. They have the health habits, business success, and thriving personal life you aspire to. They enjoy the world through a lens of gratitude, possibility, and curiosity like you hope to. Their influence disrupts your current pattern and holds you to a new and higher standard.

Or, perhaps your current community is having a negative influence on you. Perhaps your health, business, and relationships are held back by their underachieving standards. Their norms create resistance to any improvements you want to make to your life, forcing you to put a lot of effort in to make an inch of progress.

My encouragement to you today is to capitalize on these two sources of growth - What idea can you implement to change your life inside out, and what adjustments to your environment can you make to change your life from the outside in?

A belief that you are self-disciplined is what I call a foundational mindset. If you don’t follow through on doing the things you know you need to do, then all of your intentions to apply yourself aren’t supported by your own ability to execute them.

However, I do believe the idea of self-discipline is misunderstood. It’s not a notion of doing what you said you would do at all costs… I relate with it as something more beneficial - To faithfully do what you know most serves you, consistently, despite the circumstances surrounding it.

For that reason, to rest is to be disciplined. Let me explain this by running through a scenario.

You wake up in the morning with a plan to get a workout in, but your boss pings you or you have that one important errand to get done. You do it quickly but realize now you don’t have time for your workout so you start your workday. Things come up that pull you off track - getting distracted in non-essential things, requests from your boss, etc. - and you start to run behind. Maybe you squeeze a mini-workout in but most likely you put time into doing the things that others need from you. Even so, it pushes your work day a little longer.

Then at the end of the day you have dinner, spend time with loved ones and do activities that you enjoy, or even wrap up one last thing at work. But it’s not enough, and when it’s time to start shutting down for the day to get to bed on time, you have a decision to make. You have time to do more of those things you enjoy, didn’t do, or need to do… Or you can choose to go to sleep.

The right choice, that most serves you and everything else you have on your plate, is to take care of you. To get enough sleep and be well-rested for a new day. It takes self-control and will-power to get yourself to stop and actually go to sleep on time. It takes discipline to make that choice despite the circumstances and pressure of wanting to do more.

An investment in your energy is an investment in everything else. The quality of your output, focus, or presence is limited by how you feel when you show up to the moment. Going to sleep on time is harder than it needs to be, but that’s why it’s an ultimate expression of self-discipline. Challenge yourself to go to bed on time for a full week and notice how much it transforms your life.

If you want to really take things to the next level, learn about the 2 other foundational mindsets, alongside being self-disciplined, here.

With Thanksgiving around the corner, I wanted to share some actionable tips to support you in not overeating on Thanksgiving while still enjoying the Holiday. I’m going to line up a few ideas, shout out to my friend Arozo Shahabzada for organizing these insights.

Tip #1 - Don’t linger by the snack table. It’s so easy to mindlessly keep having one bite at a time when you’re hovering over the food. If you want to eat, make yourself a plate and then move away from the table.

Tip #2 - Drink 8 ounces of water before you get started. By getting something in your stomach first, you’ll find that you have less of a craving to keep eating.

Tip #3 - Keep your eating schedule regular and have breakfast. Many people skip the first meal to “make room” for a bigger meal later in the day. Doing that can cause more harm than good and may leave you prone to overindulging.

Tip #4 - Give yourself 8 minutes before going back for seconds. Instead of instantly reloading your plate with more good stuff, let it settle for a few minutes. This gives your body time to catch up and update your perceived hunger level.  Even if you do choose to get seconds, what you put on your plate, and the amount of it, will be radically different than if you didn’t take a pause.

And Tip #5 - Decide your dessert in advance. There are often a lot of different sweets to sample, when you set an intention for how much dessert you ideally want o enjoy, it’ll keep you from stuffing yourself full. Especially when it comes to rich foods like dessert, it’s important to practice moderation.

This information is great but it’s using it that what will actually help you be proud of the choices you make on Thanksgiving. So pick one or two of these tips and really commit to practicing them, helping you to eat more mindfully.

And if you're reading this not around the Holiday... Then these are good practices for any setting where you might be tempted to mindlessly overeat.

Recently lists have been getting a bad reputation. A ‘todo list’ plays into the overwhelm and busyness that so many people are experiencing, creating this unreal expectation for the day that leaves us disappointed when we don’t get it all done. 

Goal lists are great at getting clarity on what we’re working toward, but sometimes we stick to them too rigidly and actually pull ourselves off alignment in an effort to achieve the things that no longer represent what we want, or what most satisfies the true intention. 

However there’s another type of list that is underestimated, which is a checklist. A checklist is a step by step, written out procedure that helps guide our actions. Rather than trying to remember every detail required to complete a complex task, a checklist outlines it for us and makes it easy for us to produce the desired result with minimal effort and error. Atul Gawande wrote a book called “The Checklist Manifesto” to demonstrate the incredible power of a checklist, citing examples of how pilots, surgeons, and other high performers use checklists to ensure the quality of their work. 

The reason checklists work so well is because they’re a type of system, creating leverage that maximizes value out for what you put in. It takes time to build out a check list, but it’s just an upfront investment that makes things go smoothly every time moving forward.

In my morning routine, I have a checklist. There are specific tasks I want to do every single day, and in order to not forget them, I run through the list. This ensures that I maximize my daily priming and set myself up to have a killer day.

When I make my schedule for the day, I have a checklist. Instead of randomly putting things on a calendar I have a process for putting in external commitments and appointments, then my exercise and self-care, then my most priority tasks, and so on.

Using a checklist is not a sign that you’re less capable and need help doing basic things... It’s a failsafe way to create efficiencies in your life, hold yourself to a higher standard, and improve the quality of what you do. If that’s not one of the intentions of self-improvement, then I don’t know what is!