It Hurts To Be Honest With Ourselves

One of the most critical ingredients to improving our lives is awareness. With awareness comes choice, and we can’t choose to do something differently if we’re not even aware we’re doing it. This goes both for the actions we’re taking and the results we’re getting - there’s so much value to seeing the truth of it because that gives you something to work with.

Yet, many of us have a difficult time being honest with ourselves. It’s scary to admit that a relationship or job no longer feels right. It’s painful for someone to  confess that they’re in a bad habit, or that they’re an addict. That’s why the first step toward recovery is acceptance, which in other words, is awareness - it’s a willingness to let yourself know that it’s happening.

Psychologically we’re hardwired to stay in our comfort zone and keep doing the same things that are familiar to us. We stay in the same patterns of behavior, and root ourselves in the same realities, because they’re predictable and therefore less-threatening to our safety. Choosing to see something for how it is rather than how you want it to be is psychologically destabilizing because it suggests you should be doing something different.

But again, awareness and honesty serve us in the long-term. Our short-sighted bias for safety comes at the expense of our long-term health, wellness, and satisfaction. We will arrive at a more desirable future reality when we disrupt the present. Things need to get worse before they get better.

This tension is something I notice a lot in people who are completing daily tracking in their Self Improvement Scorecard. When they need to answer honestly to the fact that they didn’t go to the gym, avoid social media, or take action as they intended to… It’s easier to skip the tracking process altogether. 

Ignorance feels good today, but it comes at the cost of your growth. Choosing pain and discomfort today facilitates it.

Which is why I choose a different relationship with my daily tracking. Rather than approaching it with judgment and criticism, I get curious. I’m not attached to my performance and instead wonder about the conditions that led to it. When you relate with your shortcomings as breadcrumbs for improvement rather than evidence that you’re not good enough, awareness that could be hurtful becomes helpful.

Honesty is your own willingness to admit the real, unfiltered truth. That truth offers awareness. And with awareness, we can actually change our lives.

If you want to check out my Self Improvement Scorecard, how I track my performance on a daily basis, and how I implement this mindset, check out the video I made about it here!