Rich Giving

Recently I picked up a book called “Rich Relationships” by Selena Soo. It was gifted to me at an event and as someone who really values having strong relationships... And has come to learn that it really is about “who you know”... I was curious to see some of the recommendations.

The book was a Masterclass on building meaningful, authentic, strategic relationships. In a world where everyone is trying to get something from someone, especially professionally, it was a refreshing reminder that the fastest way to ‘do good’ for yourself is to ‘do good’ for others without expecting anything in return.

As humans we are hard-wired for short-term reward. Evolutionarily it was most advantageous for us to take action in a way that improves our immediate situation because it best ensures our survival. But, we know that this comes at the sacrifice of a greater long-term gain.

This is just as true in our relationships. Rather than trying to extract value in the short term, the more we invest in people by serving them, giving to them, and providing for them - the more that value multiplies and returns to us.

But that’s only when you engage in what Selena calls ‘Rich Giving’. This is a purposeful way of contributing, coming from a place of abundance and with intention. It’s done with the spirit of wanting to help and is unattached to getting anything in return. No keeping score, no entitlement that someone owes you something else… Just pure contribution.

This compares to two other types of giving: ‘Transactional Giving’ where you give because you actually want something of equal or greater value, and ‘Indiscriminate Giving’ where you share everything but then overextend yourself, and feel regret or resentment for your choice to give.

And I can personally attest to this. For a while I was a transactional giver, not with bad intentions but knowing that giving was a way to get. The more I’ve transitioned away from that and allowed myself to practice true abundance, where I give because it’s the right thing to do - it’s helpful and I want to help - I’ve felt more fulfilled and I’ve attracted more goodness into my life.

If you want to learn more about how to shift your networking energy to being more abundant, my two recommendations are to read Bob Burg’s book “The Go Giver” or of course, Selena Soo’s new book “Rich Relationships”.