A mentor of mine is David Meltzer, and he was my first real introduction into the specifics of the law of attraction. He introduced me to the idea of abundance and how there’s more than enough. What I didn’t realize is that humility lies at the center of the flow, allowing for value to pass through everyone without friction.

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Humility is about understanding that you have value to offer, and you should share it generously, and pairing it with receiving values and encouraging others to share their value with you. It creates a flow of abundance, the tide that raises all ships, that everyone can benefit from.

There’s a big distinction here between the two phrases that work together to create the full meaning. “Don’t limit your challenges” is about overcoming being defensive. It’s about fighting against the safe thing to do, what is comfortable, and where you are complacent. After acknowledging those limiting beliefs on how we are diluting risk in our life or monitoring expectations, we can now overcome this scarcity mindset and work through those areas where we are being defensive.

Then the second part of the quote, “Challenge your limits”, could be seen as offensive. This is about stepping into the unknown to discover what you are capable of. It’s leaving your prior expectations behind to find new frontiers. You don’t know what you’re fully capable of until you ask yourself the question. What’s the worst that can happen. You fail? You will not fail if you approach it as an experiment.

In the book, “The subtle art of not giving an F”, novelist ,Mark Manson, talks about choosing your pain. Manson writes,“what is the pain you want to sustain”? The pain in being defensive is that you never realized your potential, and takes the form of regret. The pain in being offensive is that you get rejected, or fail. But it also means you tried to do something meaningful.

So which pain do you want to choose?

Something I talk a lot about is stepping out of your comfort zone. Recently, I tried improv for the first time. Improv is scary. In improv, there’s a pressure to be creative, to be clever, to be funny, and I think it’s the kind of thing that sets you up for embarrassment. So, we assembled a group of people willing to go for it and give it a try! It was a blast, we kept it really basic and everyone did extremely well, but the most interesting part was all the underlying messages built into the rules of improv.

First, is “yes and”. This is a concept of just growing on whatever the person before you said. If they make a suggestion and ask you to expound on it, you do so without question. This helps everyone feel like their contribution was good and made the story better.

Another big piece of improv is support. When someone was struggling or starting to run out of ideas, or getting uncomfortable, it was time to jump in and help. I initially thought improv was individual and singular, but it’s totally a team game where everyone is involved at all times.  

To enumerate on improv, it is extremely important to be present. The beauty of it is that everyone has their own vision of how the scene is going to conclude or transpire, but the end result is an accumulation of everyone’s ideas. This means that you can’t just hijack the scene and make it your own. That would be like listening to respond in a conversation. By being present and active,you can react in the most appropriate way and create something that everyone will enjoy and understand.

All in all, improv was really fun, and definitely a step outside of my comfort zone. I hope to do it more often!

Let’s talk about an epidemic that the world is dealing with. In general, people care way too much what others think about them. I don’t know if social media has made people hyper-aware of others’ feedback, or it has been around for a while and has never had a forum for discussion. In either case, we need to do something about it.

First, I’m going to be my own devil’s advocate. Optics can be important. Behaving a certain way or being perceived as a certain type of person is important when trying to relate with someone. One of Dr. Robert Cialdini’s pillars of influence is “liking”. He talks about how others will want to work with you if you have more things in common. It’s a real thing that helps us accomplish what we want in life.

But that’s the key. It’s doing something that contributes to what you want to do, and not living to meet someone else’s expectations. In fact, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to have tens of thousands of followers on Instagram. At face value, that seems like a really superficial metric that leads to a lot of emptiness, and finding fulfillment in the wrong “fleeting” places, but if that’s a tactic that contributes to your larger goal? Then why not? In fact, that’s my strategy, because I believe the credibility and social proof associated with big Instagram accounts is worth the pursuit.

However, not many people have clarity on their reasons, and the problem that this all stems from is that many people are disconnected from their desires and hyper-focused on how they’re being perceived. There’s not much I can do to help with this. Of course, I’d be willing to ask the hard questions and have the conversation, but the growth needs to come from within you to gain clarity on your purpose. Thinking through that might help illuminate if you stand by your reasons for doing things, or if you’re doing it for the gram.

I recently had a really interesting observation that forced me to challenge myself, so I wanted to share. I was waiting in the airport security line and a few people in line before me did the same thing. They acted kind of cool and experienced at the airport. However, when it came time to empty their pockets and fill their bins it was chaos. And I mean electronics were hitting the floor, paper was being ripped, it was a scene. Then I realized, I’m probably exactly the same when I do it because, why would I be any different? So, I challenged myself to stay focused on acting slowly and deliberately. I think it went well! It took about the same amount of time to get everything done, but I did it in a much more controlled manner, and was more careful to not do any damage.

I tell this story to state that every day we are surrounded by opportunities to test ourselves. And these are micro moments of personal growth. If you’re in an Uber and get social anxiety, challenge yourself to strike up a conversation. When you’re walking in the grocery store, think ahead and see if you can come up with the most efficient route possible. Or, when you step out of a bathroom stall, don’t do everything in your power to avoid interacting with the person that walked in. 

Putting ourselves in situations where we must respond to small self-imposed challenges will help us be better at responding to real life challenges. It’s like the concept of getting comfortable being uncomfortable, you have to experience those moments to improve your performance.

So, get creative because this can apply for anything you’re trying to emphasize in your life. For example, I want to be better at focusing on the task at hand, sometimes I try to keep too many balls in the air. So, any time I notice I have too many things going on, which usually takes the form of having too many tabs open in my web browser, I’m going to delete those not immediately pertinent to my work. Find your moments to train yourself in small doses so you can improve in the areas important to you.

You want to hear a secret? “you are the boss of you life”. Let that settle in for a second. It means that you don’t need anyone’s permission to do anything. You don’t need to seek anyone’s approval but your own, and you don’t need to answer to anyone but yourself.

I know what you’re thinking, "Brian that’s not how it works". You’re right. There are people who influence your decision making, so much so that you sometimes put your agenda on hold to satisfy there’s. However, that’s not the full story because you are still in power. You choose to let those people have that kind of influence, and you prioritize others in your life because you’ve decided that’s what is best for your life.

With that choice, you are still the boss of your life, and of course there are consequences, but you don’t have to do anything. That’s where you need to figure out what’s best for you. If there’s a negative situation in your life, do that self-audit and see if that is doing more net good than bad for what it is that you want in your life.

Like any boss, you need to make some tough decisions, but remember all of those decisions factor into the net result at the end. The outcomes or objectives you are striving to accomplish. I understand I presented this in a simplified way, but let it serve as a reminder that you are in control of your life and your destiny. You have the power to cut out or double down on anything that you feel best serves you.

I’m tired of putting things off, I’m tired of saying what if, and I’m tired of waiting for the right time. Nothing changes if nothing changes. We need to take control of the things we want in our lives and create it for ourselves. These things don’t happen overnight, in fact, they take a long time and often come without much visible progress, but starting the pursuit is the only way to begin taking steps forward.

Think of a plant. It starts as a seed and stretches out to try to find some sunlight. Our ideas, goals, and dreams are the same. They need to start somewhere. Everything grows from an origin and moves and morphs into what it’s meant to be. 

So let’s get our mentality right.  Is it one day, or day one?  

The One Day mentality is passive. It’s also theoretical and immaterial. One day, I will lose 15 pounds. One day, I will stop smoking. You already hear the doubt and complacency in that self-talk, and if you talk like that you can’t expect anything to happen.  It’s just delaying the introspection, effort, or vulnerability of what you want to do.

But, with the Day One mentality, It starts now. Want to lose 15 pounds? Start a nutrition journal and sign up for a fitness class. Want to quit smoking? Tap into some resources and get on a plan. It is an action-oriented mentality that serves as the foundation of the life-change you are looking to make. It’s answering the call to the challenge you see in front of yourself and, at the very least, giving it a try. Yes, failure is a real possibility, but you can’t succeed without giving it a shot.

As we know, consistent action is the key to habit formation, and making a change to your life is no different. It can’t happen one day, it has to start now.

Let’s have a harsh reality check. Sometimes, you don’t know what’s best for you. Our brains are hardwired to avoid conflict and discomfort, and sometimes that leads us astray in our decision making. This means we tend to avoid the things we should actually do. Darren Hardy easily simplifies it for us.

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Hardy stated, "One of the key philosophies that I learned is whatever it is that you don't want to do, is usually the thing that you should do. Whatever it is that I fear, I just try to do what I don't want to do. I don't want to go workout. I don't want to go for a run. It's cold. I should go run. I don't want to bite my tongue and apologize to my wife, when I think that I am right. I probably should do that. I don't want to make this call. I am a little intimidated by calling this person. I should probably call that person. When faced with the choice, and you're not sure which one to take, take the one you don't want to do. I know it sounds simplistic, but it's amazing how often that is the correct choice, because fear is facing you at every turn. The hard choice, and so if you just do what you don't want to do, that is usually the thing you should do".

Powerful. When we get into the habit of questioning our reasons, and build a habit of stepping outside of our comfort zone, we can begin to experience a whole new potential for growth.