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April 23, 2020

"Be nice to yourself, always."

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"Be nice to yourself, always”. This should be our number one priority. It’s unbelievable how sensitive our minds are to the information we fill it with, and when we start to talk in a self-deprecating way, it leaves an impression. For example, when I do something dumb, maybe a typo in an email or I make a silly editing mistake, I jokingly say aloud, “Stupid Brian”. Also, when my girlfriend is in the room and hears that she immediately jumps in and says, “hey, don’t talk to him like that”.

We laugh about it but it’s true! It’s important. Yea my conscious mind acknowledges that it’s a joke and I don’t actually believe what I’m saying, but my unconscious mind doesn’t have the same presence, and it processes whatever it’s exposed to without context. I think that’s why my girlfriend and I have this conversation about me in third person, because it really is something completely separate with a mind of its own.

This self-criticism comes out of something that we all share. We are our own toughest critics. We hold ourselves to unreasonable expectations that we couldn't possibly ask of someone else. So, when we fall short of those expectations we express our disapproval in unacceptable ways. To reiterate, our brains are sensitive. We need to be careful before we start believing the lies we tell ourselves.

So what can you do? Be nice to yourself. Always. You deserve your own respect and patience. Yea things are going to come up and not go according to plan, but remember to take care of yourself before everything else.

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