How do you become an overnight success?

It sounds pretty appealing. We associate success with fulfillment, purpose, and validation, which are components we all are seeking in our life.

We all know someone who has been an overnight success. Other ways you might have heard it are they “blew up” or “are killing it”. Their path seemed so easy. One day they woke up and boom! They’re crushing it and they have all of this inbound interest and became the asset other people wanted to work with because “success” follows them around.

But structuring success as a process that happens overnight is narrow-minded. At first, it may seem lucky or coincidental, but that is far from the truth. It’s about awareness.

That overnight success has actually been compounding micro success for quite some time. That measurement has been internal, and no one else is truly aware of the progress, so they’re comparing the new successful state to the previous state which is zero. That way it seems like the success came overnight, when in reality it was brewing and stewing over time without anyone noticing it. 

This is an issue, because what happens is we feel like and know we’re making progress and no one else sees it. This makes us question or motivation to push on because we rely on others to validate our own interpretations, and often pushes us toward quitting or giving up.

So, What's the secret to being an overnight success? Work hard for a long time, with faith in your process and confidence in your ability!

Let’s talk about death, I know, death usually has a negative connotation, it’s a taboo topic, but it’s important to remember that it exists in contrast to life. In fact, talking about death can be a vehicle to better understanding how to live. That’s exactly what Kate Manser is doing. She is dedicating her life’s work to facilitate her “You Might Die Tomorrow” movement. One very practical exercise she shares is this thing called the Deathbed gutcheck, which is a tool to make decisions authentic to the life you want to live.

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I know it might sound difficult, but give it a try. In fact, in a deathbed study Bronnie Ware found that the biggest regret people had was, “they wish they had the courage to live a life true to themselves, not the life others expected of them”. This deathbed gut check is a way to determine just that, and just in case you’re life is cut short, you can be confident that you are truly living.

I know, it’s so easy to say the phrases; "Just get over it", "Let it go", "Try not to think about it","It’s in the past". While all of that might seem like beneficial advice, the sentiment of a bad day seems to still linger.  We’re quick to default to getting frustrated about a situation all because we’ve been primed by a bad day. This is a normal and evolutionary mindset. Our brains have been designed to notice the bad in our environment because it helped us with our survival.

Fortunately, that’s not our lives anymore. The stresses and issues that put us in a bad mood aren’t threatening our existence. They’re merely minor inconveniences. We cannot let a bad day ruin the present.

Thinking about a bad day is not the main issue. The real issue is over thinking, which gets us into trouble. With that in mind, I'm going to make a small tweak to the quote, and read it as, “Don’t ruin a good day by ruminating about a bad yesterday”. Overthinking leads to a cascade of negative emotions that could make make you frustrated and continue to think about the issue, thus, sustaining itself in a vicious cycle. 

So, it is really important to think about and process your bad days, because it’s through the process of reflection that you can discover yesterday’s purpose. Maybe it was teaching you a lesson, or preparing you for something greater. It could also humble you so that you can perform better in the future. And when you process the emotion, you can be grateful for what it offered you so you can move on emotionally.

I want to share a really interesting tidbit from a former SISD guest, Heather Monahan. She shared this story on her LinkedIn, I am going to read it now.

"I was on a flight to New York City and I had to go to the bathroom. 

Here’s the problem I’m flying GP aka General Public aka didn’t get upgraded and the line for the bathroom is insane. 

I look to first class and no line. 

I jump up and walk right into the bathroom. No one says a word. I move pretty fast. I head right back to my seat. The man next to me says, “how did you do that?”

I said 'speed to market is key and if you noticed I didn’t ask for permission'.

He jumps up and starts walking to first class where the flight attendant explained he would need to wait in the other line.  

I’m always seeing examples of business wherever I am. Don’t wait for permission. Don’t ask for permission. Move fast because speed is the new currency in business, and apparently bathroom breaks".

It’s such a good example, and refreshing to know that I’m not the only person that finds inspiration on airplanes. But, her point is about rules and permission. There’s always a way around it. Act ethically of course, there was no harm in what she did, but know that if you can’t go straight, you can go around.

On the last SISD, Case Kenny and I shared stories about how we each did something extremely uncomfortable just to push our personal boundaries. Case argues that it’s in these moments of doubt and self-questioning where we need to take action to move forward, because that experience will serve us in unimaginable ways. In fact, in the face of the uncomfortable situations he’s made a habit of unequivocal action.

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Basically, Case turned a weakness of his into a strength of his by shifting his identity. On the vein of Case’s practice, taking that next step, whatever it may be, has been so crucial to his growth and his success. I encourage you to try it. Introduce yourself to that stranger, upload that video, do it for you and don’t look back.

One of the most crippling things we can do is not take action. How can we expect anything to change if we don’t do something different? 

This next angle is within the context of reaching out to someone. And this is someone you don’t have a relationship with. Either you’re trying to expand your network, you’re trying to generate a new lead or partnership, or you’re hoping to make a new friend.

We’re afraid to reach out because we’re afraid we’ll get rejected. Yea, that sucks, but what’s the underlying, real consequence in that? I took the time to think through the real consequences and this is what I found.

So, the person you are targeting in your outreach, they currently are blind to you and your work. This means that they are not supporting or discouraging you in any way. What changes when you reach out? You briefly come into their awareness, and they make a decision on next steps. They either reply or schedule or whatever, great that's a mission accomplished! Or they ignore and dismiss. It’s in that dismissal where our fear lies. The embarrassment of not being enough, the foolishness for thinking it would work. But, those are your interpretations. You want to hear their interpretation? They treat you exactly as they did before, literally no different, not supporting or discouraging you. 

This is a powerful realization because, you can not lose if you reach out. You either make it better, or it stays the same. This is a hot take, what are your thoughts?

You can’t change the fruit without changing the root.

Sometimes we’re just waiting for things to be different. For whatever reason we think things will change on their own. A system or routine or mode of operation will continue to produce exactly what it is designed to do. Sometimes this is good, we’ve worked hard to incorporate certain positive habits in our lives, and we’re getting exactly the result we’re looking for. If that’s the case in your life, as I imagine it is in many areas, then well done! But, what about those areas that aren’t?

I love this metaphor because it’s so visual. I just imagine someone taking a chainsaw to the trunk of a tree, thinking they did something massive, only to wait a few months for the tree to grow back and find it producing exactly the same fruit it was before.

This is a philosophy people use in medicine. They say instead of quote putting a band-aid on the issue, doctors are told to address the root cause that creates the pathology.  

Oftentimes, that root isn’t what you’d expect it to be, something that first thought is distantly related and seemingly indirectly contributing to the outcome. But, all of those layers are just your conscious mind trying to rationalize and defend yourself from the truth in the subconscious. By doing the work and gaining clarity on the root, we can begin to change the fruit. 

There is a lot that has been manifesting in my life recently, and I really do owe it to being in the right frame of mind, and encouraging myself to pursue opportunities as the story unfolds. This concept is very similar, if not identical to the topic in my TedX Talk “Do it for the story”.

The slight nuance is that I have been more intentional about being okay with failing. Almost like I’m pushing just a little farther passed that boundary where it could hurt a little more. That’s why this quote is about being ready to try, because a very inherent part to any attempt is the chance of failure.

Fortunately, with more risk, there’s more reward. It is unbelievable what this incredibly abundant world has to offer us. 

So I’d encourage you to approach your challenges, or risk, with a little more optimism. Understanding that the reward has a slightly higher probability than the risk, and that the big breakthrough is just around the corner. It might be exactly what you’re looking for, it might be what you didn’t know you were missing, or it might be an entirely new trajectory. Just know that greeting what life has in store for you with open arms is a choice, and while the discomfort of doubt might pull you away, it’s right where you’re supposed to be.

"It’s amazing what happens when you’re ready to try”.