Recently, I was on a Zoom call with my friend, David Meltzer, who is always full of wisdom, and he shared a super powerful story that we all have something to learn from.

This happened pre-quarantine, but David woke at 4:30 A.M. as usual and went outside to drive to the gym. He noticed that his daughter’s car wasn’t parked anywhere near the house. He started to get really angry thinking through what she was doing and how he was going to punish her. She snuck out, and never came home. Is everything okay? He went to call her up but then thought twice because he didn’t want to approach the conversation with that kind of energy. He took a few moments, calmed himself down, then made the call. His daughter answered.

“Hey honey, is everything okay? I noticed your car isn’t out front.” 

“Yes it is Daddy, last night I went out to a party where people were drinking and you told me not to drive home if people had been drinking, so I left my car there.”

"Sweetie, I’m so proud of you, thank you for making the right decision, go back to bed, I love you.”

“Love you too Daddy!”

David recognizes that this probably means she was drinking too, but found it more important that she had the confidence to make the right decision.

Had David acted on his emotions, and accused his daughter of wrongdoings, she would have gotten defensive and this event would have been a much larger deal. So much so that the next time she’s out, she might choose to drive home to avoid this confrontation, and who knows what might happen then.

I share this story to help us remember that it’s so important to think about the energy you’re carrying, and how others may receive it, because it directly affects the results you generate.

I wanted to share a thought I came across in Grant Cardone’s book the, 10x Rule. I’m taking a few liberties in the way that I approach it, because I’m putting an ultra positive spin on it.

There’s a quote in the book that goes as follows, “Wherever you go, there you are”.

Don’t take this quote too literally. Of course you are there wherever you go, that’s obvious. I’m not talking about being physically present, I’m talking about being emotionally present.

Specifically, emotional support. Have you ever came across a time in your life where you’ve felt alone? Maybe trying to figure something out in your work, personal life, or finances? Or maybe when you receive some bad news?

The truth is you might be physically alone, but you’re never emotionally alone, because you are always there for yourself. You will always have your own back. You can always count on yourself. Wherever you go, there you are supporting yourself in that new environment, getting creative and resourceful to satisfy your needs, and helping yourself to get through.

You have everything you need and you are everything you need. Not only do all of the skills and experiences you’ve acquired can apply to your life, your potential to figure things out and your ability to provide for yourself.

This message doesn’t have the usual pep and enthusiasm, but it’s necessary and I want to use this platform to potentially help someone. I want to share what a mentor of mine, Paul Carrick Brunson, has done to support those experiencing domestic violence.

VID Here

Please stay safe everyone, and please support each other. If you need me for any reason use the code word “bubble” and I will do whatever I can to help.

When you look at the mirror it gives you life exactly how it is. No lens, no filter, just at face value. This is it. It’s a simple equation, but we forget the ways in which it applies, and sometimes even see ourselves as an exception where the formula doesn't apply.

My friend Stephanie Zee once told me that, "when you judge others in life it has nothing to do with them and everything to do with you, meaning that you project your own insecurities and issues onto others". If that’s the case, which I believe it’s true, then we can see how honestly life reflects back to you what you put out.

So if you want to receive kindness, be kind. If you want to be loved, love first. If you want others to be patient with you, start by being patient with them. 

We’ve gotten in our heads that this world is unpredictable and inconsistent, but the universal laws that we live within have never changed. While we can only perceive the world through our brain’s interpretation of our 5 senses, I fully believe that there are other universal laws that we are susceptible to. This is one of them.

Life is a mirror. What you put in is what you get out. So why not choose to add to your life the qualities that you know will serve you? Lead with kindness and from a place of support, and you’ll find it will return in the most important ways.

What is your purpose?

To me, purpose is what we’re all searching for. It’s the cause or area of service that lights you up every time you’re in it. It’s the combination of your interests, strengths, and causes that perfectly come together to get you feeling aligned and fulfilled. And when we’re working within our purpose, we find a flow that allows you to pour everything you have into whatever you’re working on in the most meaningful and fulfilling way.

I imagine you’ve experienced micro-moments of this throughout your life, where you’ve felt an incredible buzz or energy that makes you feel truly alive, and like you matter.

We need this more often! I think we’ve all created a story in our heads, which has been fed by the social norms we’ve come to accept, that prevents us from dreaming about pursuing our true purpose because it’s not practical.

Well guess what? That’s not the truth. That’s what you’ve been telling yourself, and the second you lift that expectation you’ll find that you’re actually ready to discover your purpose.

There were times when I wanted to pursue something bold or share a controversial opinion or tell someone how I feel and I just didn’t have the courage. When my head was on the pillow at night it was so easy to tell myself I was going to do it, but then when it came to doing it I just couldn’t!

Well, this topic might fix that. It’s about having 20 seconds of courage. Literally, it’s about getting out of your head, silencing your thoughts of doubt and insecurity, and just doing it. Stand up for yourself! Ask them out! Be bold!

I’m not asking you to sustain this. The reason you aren’t acting is because it is so uncomfortable. But I am asking you to shift your mindset for 20 seconds of courage, because that’s all that’s needed.

In a lot of these moments, it’s just about initiation. The fear usually isn’t in the act itself, it is in starting the act. The truth is we’re more competent and prepared than we think when it comes to expressing the things we want to stand for. It’s the getting into that space to facilitate the conversation or the act where a lot of people drop off. We are extremely adept at morphing and molding to the setting we find ourselves in. 20 seconds of courage will help you arrive to the setting that you’ve been resisting but you know is good for you.

To delve deeper, the fear of inaction is based on the perceived consequences. Of course, we’re going to be resistant to negative consequences, but we need to evaluate how those compare to the positive payoff. Let me put it this way. Have you ever heard of liquid courage? Imagine being able to apply that but in a more intentional way. Are there consequences? Yes. But, how does it feel to act in a way true to yourself?

Long story short, It’s 20 seconds. That’s all I’m asking. You can do anything for 20 seconds. The next time you find yourself resisting how you feel or how you want to behave, and it’s appropriate, gather the courage and go for it!

A trait that many of us value across the board is courage. We all respect when someone is courageous and does what is required of them, but I don’t think courage is embraced as much as it should be. Let me ask you this. When was the last time you were courageous? It’s tougher to think of than it should be. This is because we often see courage as something external that other people do, but never think to embody it ourselves. This comes from our brain protecting us from the fear we are trying to avoid. But I believe that gaining awareness on the topic will help us to practice it more.

Being courageous involves three things which are gaining clarity on what you want, acknowledging the fear, and taking action.

First, we need to clarify what we want because if we don’t have that then what’s the point? We can never rationalize our way in to doing something we fear if we don’t believe it has purpose. So start there.

Then, if the means to accomplish it makes you afraid, then you need to acknowledge that emotion. Don’t avoid that truth because then you’ll avoid everything associated with it. I bet you’ve been forced to be courageous when you had non-negotiable responsibilities to attend to. This shows that you can act in the face of fear, and labeling it helps you understand the nature of your discomfort.

Then last, you have to take action. Courage doesn’t exist unless you take action because courage describes a state that involves overcoming the fear, so by definition you can only be courageous by taking action.

I wanted to feature a really important message that was central to the conversation I had with Shane Sams, the founder of Flipped Lifestyle and our next SISD guest. As we get into in the interview, Shane went through some major pain and hurt to discover what he wanted and needed to do with his life. His story is powerful and I encourage you to tune in for the full conversation. All you need to know is that this pain fueled his desire to make a change. As he puts it, that’s the catalyst, but that’s not enough, you need to see the dream too. And that’s what Shane did.

If you want to make a change, you need to be motivated to do it and you need to be prompted into action, and if that change is big and sustainable it needs to be a sustained motivation. Then, if you actually want to make it happen, and realize the dream, you need to learn how to do it. Watching and learning from other people who have done it can be the template to get started to creating it for yourself.