Something beautiful about our lives and world is that we have the freedom of choice. However with choice comes multiple options to select from, and you don't know the full potential and consequences from certain decisions until they’ve been made. If we want to get better at life, we need to get good at receiving feedback so that we can have more information to make a better decision next time. When it comes to getting good feedback here are a few rules of thumb.

First, don’t ask one person about everything, ask many people about one specific thing. The more narrow and targeted the feedback is the better, because it controls for the circumstances different people are coming from and keep things from getting too complicated. For example if you wrote an article, don’t ask one person “Hey what’d you think?”, instead ask a few different people “What do you think is the core message in this article, and was that clear to you?”

Also, pose questions in a way that are unbiased. There are different ways you can present a question that prompts people to validate a certain thought instead of reflect upon a certain thought. For example, and using the article example again, instead of asking someone “Do you think my article is too long?” you can ask “What do you think about the length of the article?” That way they aren’t primed in any way to respond and you get their genuine feedback, which will ultimately be more useful. 

There’s definitely an art to getting good feedback, and these are a few ideas to keep in mind as you go about asking others about their thoughts on different decisions you’ve made.

This thought was inspired by something I heard Jay Shetty say, and it’s something that many of the most successful people in the world can relate to. No matter what you accomplish or how great your achievements are, “be humbled by your dreams”. 

Your dreams are meant to serve you in a few ways. The first is with motivation, knowing that you have a vision for who you want to be and being dedicated to realizing it. When you have a big dream then you always have something to chase, always something to push you forward, which will be necessary when the road gets bumpy.

Your dreams also serve you in a way that is directly related to today’s quote, and being humbled. When the vision for your life is so profound, so far-reaching and ambitious, then no matter what you do it’ll always pale in comparison to how you want things to be. 

This isn’t to say that you shouldn’t appreciate or recognize your intermediate accomplishments, but it does mean that you shouldn’t over value them at the expense of your potential. The most successful people in the world don’t need to prove their wealth or success to others because they don’t compare their wealth and success to others. They compare it to their own dreams, and in recognition of how they are only a fraction of the way there, they find no need to flaunt their accomplishments.

So I encourage you, dream fearlessly big. And take a stand for what you believe in, so that you can be humbled by the size of your future.

The way I see it, personal development is fundamental to our lives. Given that we live in a constantly changing world we need to be dynamic as individuals to best exist within it, and that’s where our self growth comes in to help us meet those demands. However, I don’t think it stops there, I think the development and growth we seek to experience is meant to serve more than just ourselves. I firmly believe that you cannot give what you don’t have, and personal development is just preparation to be able to contribute toward the lives of others.

Having said that, I’d like to introduce you to For Purpose. I have been developing a social impact platform that is designed to help people make a difference in the world. I truly believe that we all have something unique to offer but it can be overwhelming knowing where to get started. And sometimes we feel like what we have to offer doesn’t actually make a difference. Well I’m here to tell you, I think that’s bullshit. Your compassion, your creativity, your daily choices, and your dollar all make a difference, and we’re building a platform that makes it more doable than ever to live a life in service of others.

I had a major realization when I spoke with Commander Mark Divine. We talked about how a thought is required for any external action to be taken, but I didn’t realize how thoughts are reflected and integrated internally by the subconscious. There’s a bidirectional effect to every thought we have that first interacts with our external environment, but also interfaces with our internal environment. 

Every thought takes two paths. One is how the thought turns into decisions and ultimately actions in your external world, and the other is how it validates or violates beliefs you have in your internal world. Beyond that, what I found interesting is how other people can influence your thoughts and play a role in this entire cascade. This is just another reminder to be really intentional about what you’re exposing yourself to, what you tolerate in your life, because you never know how it might be subconsciously influencing you.

The dictionary definition of “potential” is “the latent qualities or abilities that may be developed and lead to future success or usefulness.” Amazingly, we have this ability in life to think about how things can be and even change the way that things are to make progress toward a new future. We know and feel that we are capable of more, that’s us acknowledging our potential, but it’s difficult to quantify what “more” means.  For that reason I want to broaden and elaborate on this definition.

When it comes to these latent qualities or abilities inherent to your potential, there is no limit to the amount of things you can access. Whether it’s through books, podcasts, life experience, shared lessons, or intuition you have access to every tool ever conceived. That’s a lot of options and an infinite amount of future states that we can create, an infinite potential, but in order to exercise your potential you need to harness it and steer it in the right direction. And that right direction is your truth.

In order to gain clarity on your truth you need to be vulnerable, you need to be honest, you need to be open-minded, and you need to be empathetic to yourself and others. This way you can be more clear about how you're meant to grow, and in what areas you need to grow, which will guide you on what qualities, abilities, and possibilities you need to access to pursue that truth. Going back to the original definition, those are the qualities that are most useful. Those are the qualities that lead to future success. And your willingness to receive guidance will help you to pursue your unique potential.

When you put time and effort into something, you see the value in that right? Even if it didn’t turn out as well as you had hoped. Even if you need to spend extra time redoing what you just did. Well, I ask that you do the same for others and that you don’t discount their effort.

We’re in a culture that is so strongly controlled and driven by external validation that we design our lives around it. For this reason people often go about things without trying their best. Unfortunately this offers a nice and comfortable protection against the criticism of others, but it also holds so many people back from their fullest expression. As people we don’t want to feel like what we have isn’t enough so we fail to even show what we’re capable of. 

I think this problem is made worse by the nature in which we evaluate someone’s work, which is based on the result they generate and not their effort. This is a societal flaw with unbelievable emotional consequences. However, through our action we can help fight it, and help people feel more confident in their abilities by committing to being supportive in more empathetic ways. When people feel like the time and energy they invest in something is valued, and truly valued because they are being seen as a person and not evaluated based on their output, they will be more encouraged to contribute everything they have.

A discount is used to assign less value to something than it’s known to be worth. That’s not fair to anyone, but it’s a natural response given the way society tells us to operate. Don’t discount anyone’s effort and celebrate when people try their best, even if they come up short.

The imagery of this Helen Keller quote is something that makes it really appealing and attractive. We all know how shadows work and can draw associations about the meaning of light and dark, and this quote makes us reflect on how we can keep a positive mindset.

As long as there is light there will always be a shadow. There’s a contrast that exists in everything that is important to recognize, but it’s also important not to let it distract you. I believe that in many cases knowing there’s a shadow is enough, you don’t need to look back and confirm that it’s there. A shadow and the darkness within it holds you back and occupies your attention when you know well you’d rather be looking forward. 

Which is why Helen Keller encourages us to keep our face to the sun. Embrace the source of positivity and possibility. When our attention is directed toward the light, love, and lessons built into the world around us then we can be constantly reminded of how we exist in that way. We are so strongly influenced by our subconscious mind, which is often triggered by the environments we are in, so choosing to place yourself in the sunshine rather than the shadow allows you to literally see the blessings around you. 

That’s not to say the shadow isn’t important, it’s always there and always will be, but maybe let’s start looking for the sunshine more often!

Fortunately I was able to learn an important lesson at a young age. Whenever I lost a game playing sports growing up, I usually took it hard. My parents would console me and ask one question - “Did you do your best?” Not all of the time, but most of the time I did. It taught me to focus on what I can control, my own effort, when evaluating the result of a game.

I think that’s the only thing we can do, is to do our best. The results, the outcomes, the end-product are all dependent on so many external factors. In sports it could be an unlucky bounce, a bad call, or a teammate's error. In business it could be the political environment, a bad deal, or a global pandemic. And in life it could be a difficult situation imposed on you by others. In all of these cases, all you can do is your very best to work with what you’ve got to make the most of it.

But what does doing your best look like? It involves dedication - Being serious about the thing you want to achieve or work toward. It takes preparation - Anticipating in advance some of the things that might come up so that you can handle them better. And it takes effort - Applying yourself in the moment to your fullest capacity, putting your heart and soul into your craft in order to generate the best result you are capable of. If you do all of that, then you’re doing your best, and you can rest your head at night knowing that you gave it your all.

Doing your best is about you. The action steps you take, the way you play or engage, and the attitude you have through it all. And that’s entirely within your control. The best thing you can do is to do your best.