First we need to understand the role excuses play in our psychology. Excuses are a defense mechanism that are meant to protect our self-esteem and self-confidence. By giving an excuse for something, we deflect responsibility and don’t internalize the criticism, so that we can separate ourselves from the failures or shortcomings in the result.

But there’s an expression I love that sheds some light on the truth - “Excuses are like buttholes, everyone’s got one and they all stink!”

The problem with making excuses is that by not taking the necessary responsibility, you don’t put yourself in a position to grow. Where is the lesson without the pain? When you justify why you didn’t meet expectations by making excuses, you are doing yourself a disservice that prevents you from developing in a way that will allow you to meet expectations next time.

To share a quick example of this in practice, a few weeks ago we had a family photo shoot and allowed a photographer in the backyard. We have been extremely careful to take precautions and not expose ourselves to others who might have COVID. There were times when he touched furniture and things we’d prefer he didn’t touch, and he unmasked a few times out of comfort. Instead of making an excuse and saying “Oh it happened so fast, it was out of my control”, in reflection I recognize that I could have communicated to him sooner that we wanted him to follow strict quarantine protocols. Had I done so we could have avoided the situation and now I know how to act moving forward.

So I encourage you, lose your excuses. Take full responsibility, full ownership for the events in your life. Instead of making a comfortable excuse, try reflecting on the decisions you made that led to that result. You’ll find a lot more is in your control than you realized, which is great because then you know what you can change for next time!

Let me start by giving you some credit. There are a lot of things to balance in life and the fact that you have taken the time to come to this resource is incredible. And I can’t express to you how grateful I am because of it. But let’s take it a step further and talk about why that is important.

Every time you show up for yourself it provides evidence for the person you want to be, and over time it becomes more and more effective. Essentially, slowly but surely, you can prime yourself to embody the traits that you access and make it more of a subconscious, natural response. 

It’s important, because when it comes to taking action throughout the day you’re going to need some of it. That’s why exposing yourself consistently to motivational content helps you to be more motivated. Your daily choices serve as the fuel for you as you go throughout your day on a mission.

And if I’m not enough for you, then my friend Spencer Ferrari Wood has you covered. He’ll send you an email every single day with "40 seconds of Fuel", to help you fill up your tank so you can go out and conquer the day!

You probably hear it all the time, you need to “lay the right foundation” or “have structure” in your life. It sounds great, but what does it actually mean, and how do you actually do it? To me, it means that you need to first spend time establishing the basics and fundamentals so that you can grow on top of it with the assurance that you will be supported. 

Well, personal development is growth, and every time you grow you put stress on your foundation. With a strong and solid structure, you can challenge yourself to be more consistent in difficult areas, you can put yourself in more uncomfortable situations, and you can gain confidence in yourself because you know that your foundation will hold you up through it all.

So how do you build a stronger foundation? You invest in it. You put systems in place to help you carry the weight of uncertainty and doubt. You get proactive and adapt your belief system so that it interacts effectively with the context of your life. And you validate it by having faith in the process, and that you are capable and worthy of everything you desire.

I know that’s a lot... but I want to help you have more structure in your life!

In general, we misunderstand passion. This idea was highlighted in Angela Duckworth's best-selling book "Grit". The way culture glamorizes passion is through hot steamy romance and big defiant action steps. It focuses on the intensity of the experience, and it represents the topic unfairly. 

True passion is more consistent. It is delivered slowly and surely over time. Don’t mistake enthusiasm for passion. Enthusiasm is great but it’s often not sustainable, it’s a high intensity emotion. Passion doesn’t come in bursts, it isn’t as sexy as it is made out to be, but it in this way it is more enduring and more effective.

So let’s get critical and think about what you’re really passionate about? Maybe you suffer from shiny object syndrome, where you see something new like a new project, relationship, or hobby, and get so excited about it, only to leave it behind in a few days or weeks. That’s not passion. What you have showed up to do, what you have prioritized and will continue to prioritize, that’s what you are actually passionate about. Things like being there for family events, working on projects for months or years, or interests that you’ve been able to dive really deep into throughout your life.

I bring this all up because tapping into your passion can be one of the strongest factors in discovering your purpose. And when you’ve identified what that thing is, you can create opportunities to bring more of that passion into your life.

I don’t care who you are, it’s never okay to intentionally be mean to someone. When it comes to living alongside others, compassion and empathy is everything. And if someone feels like another person isn’t deserving of that respect, I think it’s more a representation of what they think of themselves rather than what they think of that person.

We all certainly are going to encounter bad people. It’s unavoidable. People who feel like they are too important and perceive themselves as superior, but no one has the right to treat anyone else differently.

I’m not perfect, I have plenty of judgments and hold grudges and assign blame just like anyone else, but I try to see the importance in everyone else. We all have a sense of self and in that way, we are all the center of our own universe. So while you might be the most important person in the world in your mind, someone else is the most important person in their mind. 

And that’s the underlying opportunity. In exercising compassion, and being understanding, you can learn to treat others the way you want to be treated, and allow them to feel meaningful and significant beyond their personal experience.

We’ve all been there... We’ve made a to do list and didn’t know what to do first. We’ve been inspired to create a business, invest in hobbies, and prioritize our values, but we don’t start. What I’ve found to be true in life is that the most difficult step is the first step, and that the hardest part to finishing anything is starting.

I believe this is because we are hardwired to reject change. Evolutionarily change in our environment signaled uncertainty and was often viewed as a threat, and our brains actively resist change because it is subconsciously perceived as dangerous. This is called "activation energy", the focus and an attention required to get started, and I’ve learned a few things that can help in overcoming it. 

First is to have a starting ritual. If you consistently use an affirmation to trigger your behavior it will eventually become automatic. My favorite starting ritual is the 5 Second Rule shared by Mel Robbins. If you want to get yourself to do something, simply countdown from 5 and take off like a rocket at 0.

A second way is to commit to only a fraction of the activity. In "Atomic Habits" James Clear talks about the two minute rule, where you distill the desired activity into a two minute activity, making the task seem much more doable.

And last, if it’s a bigger project or idea and you don’t know where to get started, just take a productive action in any form. Your small action is a commitment that is representative of your larger intentions, and will help you take the next steps. This is something Adam Braun did when building the non-profit Pencils of Promise, putting a $25 deposit down in the hopes he’d raise $10,000+ to build a new school. 

The hardest part to finishing anything is getting started, and if you’re inspired to get started on the next chapter of your life and move forward, I'd like to help you out!

Your environment is simply everything around you, the context of your life. What you might not realize is the way your environment may be influencing you in ways you aren’t aware of. If you think of it this way, your environment is rich with different stimuli that trigger you into unconscious behavior patterns. Some of those behaviors are good, many are bad, but in either case it is simply the things around you, your environment, that quietly leads you down that path.

Oftentimes your environment presents itself as circumstance, which is thought to be fixed or determined. But in understanding that your environment and context is dynamic and ever-changing, you realize you can actually manipulate your circumstances to change your life. So let’s start gaining an awareness about our environment by auditing the different environments we live within.

First is your physical environment. The actual space you’re in and where it is geographically. Is it conducive to helping you sleep well, eat healthy, be productive, etc? Then there’s your social environment. Your relationships, who you value in your life, who influences your expectations and standards, and how they support you. And then there’s your energetic environment. Your motivation, alignment, and integrity. How you pursue your values, and your spirituality.

Within the lens of these three environments determine what the ideal is, how you want these environments to contribute to your life, and when you identify a mismatch begin pursuing certain steps to tweak your environment to bridge the gap.

Today I want to ask you a fundamental question, and it’s something I’ve been spending some time asking myself. When it comes to personal development, your self growth, and the person you need to be to make your dreams come true, what are you working on?

Is there a certain skill you need to learn or improve in? A limiting belief that you’re working through? A routine or habit  you want to instill? A priority that you no longer want to neglect? 

That’s why it’s called personal development, because it requires growth or advancement in certain ways that will create more happiness, fulfillment, joy, and impact in your life. Don’t get me wrong, consuming the content put out by Self Improvement Daily is a great first step because it exposes you to what’s out there and it allows you to reflect and gain self awareness. But in order to really pursue your personal development you need to translate that learning into something actionable. Like a seed that grows toward the sunlight you need to have your destination that you are growing toward.

So I’ll ask you again - What are you working on? And how does that align with who you want to be? To make that actionable a follow up question, "What can you do today to begin making progress?" It doesn’t need to be massive action, but it does need to be something.