Society has labeled addictions a certain way, only representing a fraction of the ways it actually affects society. Even in doing research on the subject, addiction is formally defined as a compulsive physiological need for and use of a habit-forming substance. That’s a pretty narrow definition that only relates to substance-abuse, which of course is a huge problem, but only speaks to one very specific amount.

I think the mutually accepted understanding of addiction is that it’s generally a bad thing. It means that your behaviors and habits are considered to be in excess of what’s required, and it leads to some negative consequences. But even so, those consequences are a spectrum and often don’t have negative effects. In fact, I think we all have everyday addictions that we don’t acknowledge as such because the term is used in such a derogatory and extreme sense.

For example, checking social media more often than you want to is an addiction because it is a compulsion for your unmet need to belong. Compulsive lying can be an addiction to help you receive validation about your self worth. Even biting your nails can be considered an addiction because it soothes and placates during stress.

Once we open up this definition for addiction, we can see what needs aren’t being met in our lives and start brainstorming alternatives to live a more constructive life. As with everything, the first step is awareness - Knowing your negative habits that have a strong hold on you, knowing your defense mechanisms - So that you can grow through them into a more actualized you.

We all know the value of communication. It’s our way of sharing our internal world, whether that be our thoughts, feelings, or desires, so that others can understand what we’re experiencing. Communication is at the heart of every form of collaboration because it helps people get on the same page, no matter if the collaboration is personal, professional, romantic, or creative.

There’s one fatal flaw inherent to communication though. It is extremely inefficient. There are no amount of words you can say that completely represents an internal experience, and for that reason I don’t think you can communicate enough. In fact, I recommend that you overcommunicate when possible.

You’d think that overcommunicating would be too much and beyond what’s required, I mean that’s what “over” means. But that’s also the point because you don’t want to limit your communication. You don’t know how much of your communication is being received, or how well it’s being received, and you need to be sure you’re sharing your message in its entirety. Overcommunicating helps you voice the things that you believe to be assumed and verify that there is a mutual understanding.

And what’s the tradeoff? Maybe you’re a little long-winded and you ramble a little too long. Worst case scenario is someone tells you to stop talking. That’s not so bad to ensure you’re getting your message across.

If communication is at the root of collaboration, and communication is already naturally inefficient, it makes a lot of sense to share more and make sure that you vision and experience is being fully understood.

You know when things work out even better than you hoped, and seemed to magically materialize from nothing? How things came together by no doing of your own and just fall into your lap in the best of ways? That’s "dumb luck", but I think the term itself discredits what is actually happening.

First to call something 'dumb' is simply incorrect. With the infinite intelligence that exists around us it’s naive to call anything related to your environment 'dumb'. Just because you can’t see or measure what’s happening does not mean that it doesn’t exist. There is more design and intention behind every element of your life than you realize and it’s important to respect that.

Then the word luck. I think a better word to use is "coincidence". I don't mean the traditional definition of coincidence that involves randomness, but instead the root etymological meaning. To co-incide means for things to happen together. There doesn’t need to be an element of luck or chance in what things coincide. What often happens is that we can’t perceive the synchronicity in the event, and therefore we rationalize it as a random occurrence. Again, this isn’t respecting the nature of what is actually happening in a more divine way.

In either case, if you choose to see dumb luck as a random fluke or pre-destined serendipity, it’s important to maximize the opportunity in front of you. Those who get the farthest in life do the most with the advantages they have access to. So if you want to find ways to advance your career, network, or skills, you’re going to need to take advantage of your strokes of good fortune so that they produce real outcomes.

It's important to take action and be the doer that creates your world.  While I still do strongly advocate for that, there’s more to the equation than you might first think. Obviously everything you do is an action-step in your life, but also everything you don’t do is an action-step as well. More briefly put, inaction is also an action.

When we think about taking action we think about the new and novel activities or behaviors we introduce to our lives. They leave an impression because they are being done consciously within our awareness, and therefore are very top of mind. But the far majority of our actions and behaviors are done at an unconscious level. They’re still actions, we just aren’t aware of them and therefore we don’t label them as such. Your inaction on one thing does not lead to nothing... It leads to you doing something else that you’ve been habituated to doing. That is still action. Instead of beginning a new workout routine, you resort to the inaction of scrolling through social media. Instead of speaking up about a new idea at work, you recoil into a sequence of self-defeating thoughts about your creativity.

Your behavior is the language of your identity, and what we call “inaction” is actually just a proxy for taking action on the things that are already comfortable, habitual, and sub-conscious. By not taking the desired action, we revert to doing the same things we’ve always done and strengthen the sub-conscious belief we have about that thing.  It makes overwriting that your identity (which is done by taking a new action) that much more difficult the next time.  

Every choice you make is a tradeoff. You can do new things that generate new results in your life. If you don’t you’ll be relegated to taking the same old actions that lead to the same old outcomes. The choice is yours but recognize that even inaction is actually an action.

There are random moments that may come up in your day where you do something “small” to help someone out. At a grocery store they drop their basket, and you help them pick up their groceries. Or you give a subtle compliment to a stranger and then walk away. While these things don’t take much effort on your end, the impact is truly infinite. Which means they’re not actually that small of acts of kindness, even though they feel that way.

Something I believe to be true about the world is that it has a disproportionate nature to it. The amount of effort, difficulty, or intention you put into something creates an outcome that is disproportionately large in return. A perfect example is introducing two people. You take the 5 minutes to draft up an email and it could lead to mentorship, collaboration, or a new business. The possibilities are endless and far greater than the amount of effort you put in.

Your kindness is the same. Your smallest contribution creates a permanent shift in the universe that grows and continues to interact with people, creating change on a larger magnitude than you can conceive. The world is not linear, it is exponential, and if you want the world to be a kinder place then you just figured out your solution. Add more kindness and let it compound!

There is no small act of kindness, truly, even though it might feel small to you in the moment. I hope this encourages you to invest your energy and attention into more acts of kindness, knowing that the universe’s natural process will amplify it and allow it to touch those who need it.

There are an infinite amount of ways our lives can go. Sometimes we’re pulled into things we have no business doing and we grow comfortable in that thing. It could be a job, a relationship, or a tension that you just grow accustomed to. Other times you’re called into a greater purpose, a destiny or role that only you can fulfill and your entire body is screaming to pursue it. But it’s scary, uncertain, and unknown. There is something larger in store for all of us that calls us to take action, but you don’t have to do it alone. The Universe or God or source, or whatever you choose to believe is guiding you the entire time.

But it can only do so much, and it’s a two way street. As much as it might be telling you what to do, you need to be willing to listen. And if you don’t listen then it’s going to need to try harder to get your attention. That brings me to today’s thought - A poke, a slap, a ton of bricks. The universe escalates how it communicates to you, making it more forceful and obvious until you get the hint.

It starts off with a poke. It lets you know that the possibility is there, and lines up other little coincidences or synchronicities for you to start putting the pieces together. It’s subtle but if you’re really listening, you’ll hear it. Then if that doesn’t work, it’ll slap you. It will do something that jolts you and really brings your attention to the path. It’ll shake you around but in a non-harmful way, demanding that you acknowledge it in some capacity. Then if that doesn’t work, it resorts to a ton of bricks. It will do something so undeniable and clear that you need to change. It uses trauma, emergency, or deep emotions to give you no alternative and forces you do what’s best for you.

Well just over a week ago, I got slapped around a bit. The universe gave me a much stronger sign than I had been receiving before that told me clearly how I’m playing in fear. I’m staying comfortable and although I’m projecting big I’m playing small. And I took the sign. I’m leaving my full-time job, doubling down on myself, and stepping into that uncertainty, doubt, and fear. I’m trusting what feels right for me and my path. And it might be coming at you too. It might be a poke, it could be a slap, and eventually it could turn into a ton of bricks. Look out for those signs, and take action as you think is necessary.

Cruise control is a setting in a car where it maintains the same speed, it’s often used on a freeway or highway and ultimately makes driving easier because it gives you one less thing to think about. Similarly we have certain decisions, behaviors, and patterns in our lives that put us in our own personal cruise control, opening up attention to focus on other things. That could be great in certain situations, and bad in others. How do you know which is which?

Cruise control is also known as "autopilot", and psychologically what that means is you’re engaging in behaviors with little effort. More technically, it means that your behavior is being driven by your subconscious. When you put in the work to train your subconscious and your habits to perform a certain task, and you know it’s beneficial for you, then cruise control is a great thing because you can do more of what you want to do without having to put in the effort. This is where creating a plan to build systems around a positive habit can be scalable and effective for you in the long term.

On the other hand, cruise control can be a bad thing. In areas where you want things to be dynamic, where you’re actively pushing for improvement, cruise control can be limiting. The first step to behavior change in any capacity is awareness, and by the nature of it cruise control operates without your awareness. Once you gain an awareness of the habit you can determine how it is currently serving you, and create a plan to help it best serve you.

The summary here: There’s a lot of opportunity to improve your life by recognizing the subconscious “cruise control” habits you have. Design more of the good and become aware of more of the bad so you can do something different, if needed.

I was listening to a rare podcast interview with Darren Hardy and he said something that was really humbling. As the author of "The Compound Effect" and one of the most influential minds in the self development space, Hardy said that he doesn’t think he has ever had an original idea. Hardy went on to explain that he is constantly learning, processing, and integrating the perspectives of other people to formulate his own.

The way I see it, if Darren Hardy still draws inspiration from those who come before him and serve alongside him, then we certainly have a lot to learn. The beautiful part is that this information is available at our fingertips. There was a day where you had to go to a library to checkout a book and learn, or travel to a speaking event to hear your role model talk. We can access everything we need instantaneously which accelerates our ability to learn and grow exponentially.

Your next great idea, or the solution you’ve been looking for, is already out there and has probably been shared by someone who came before you. Instead of retreating and feeling disempowered by that, you can feel motivated and inspired to pursue that information. What will always be entirely unique is your context. No one will ever interpret information exactly the same as you because your life experience is solely yours. So the idea might not be original, but the understanding always is, which  allows you to contribute something novel.

But in order to gain that key insight, you need to be a sponge. You need to soak in the wisdom of others and let it influence you. And if the books, podcasts, videos, and worksheets aren’t enough, reach out to that person directly! You’ll be shocked to learn how accessible some people are when you approach them with a genuine curiosity about their work.