There are an infinite amount of ways our lives can go. Sometimes we’re pulled into things we have no business doing and we grow comfortable in that thing. It could be a job, a relationship, or a tension that you just grow accustomed to. Other times you’re called into a greater purpose, a destiny or role that only you can fulfill and your entire body is screaming to pursue it. But it’s scary, uncertain, and unknown. There is something larger in store for all of us that calls us to take action, but you don’t have to do it alone. The Universe or God or source, or whatever you choose to believe is guiding you the entire time.

But it can only do so much, and it’s a two way street. As much as it might be telling you what to do, you need to be willing to listen. And if you don’t listen then it’s going to need to try harder to get your attention. That brings me to today’s thought - A poke, a slap, a ton of bricks. The universe escalates how it communicates to you, making it more forceful and obvious until you get the hint.

It starts off with a poke. It lets you know that the possibility is there, and lines up other little coincidences or synchronicities for you to start putting the pieces together. It’s subtle but if you’re really listening, you’ll hear it. Then if that doesn’t work, it’ll slap you. It will do something that jolts you and really brings your attention to the path. It’ll shake you around but in a non-harmful way, demanding that you acknowledge it in some capacity. Then if that doesn’t work, it resorts to a ton of bricks. It will do something so undeniable and clear that you need to change. It uses trauma, emergency, or deep emotions to give you no alternative and forces you do what’s best for you.

Well just over a week ago, I got slapped around a bit. The universe gave me a much stronger sign than I had been receiving before that told me clearly how I’m playing in fear. I’m staying comfortable and although I’m projecting big I’m playing small. And I took the sign. I’m leaving my full-time job, doubling down on myself, and stepping into that uncertainty, doubt, and fear. I’m trusting what feels right for me and my path. And it might be coming at you too. It might be a poke, it could be a slap, and eventually it could turn into a ton of bricks. Look out for those signs, and take action as you think is necessary.

Cruise control is a setting in a car where it maintains the same speed, it’s often used on a freeway or highway and ultimately makes driving easier because it gives you one less thing to think about. Similarly we have certain decisions, behaviors, and patterns in our lives that put us in our own personal cruise control, opening up attention to focus on other things. That could be great in certain situations, and bad in others. How do you know which is which?

Cruise control is also known as "autopilot", and psychologically what that means is you’re engaging in behaviors with little effort. More technically, it means that your behavior is being driven by your subconscious. When you put in the work to train your subconscious and your habits to perform a certain task, and you know it’s beneficial for you, then cruise control is a great thing because you can do more of what you want to do without having to put in the effort. This is where creating a plan to build systems around a positive habit can be scalable and effective for you in the long term.

On the other hand, cruise control can be a bad thing. In areas where you want things to be dynamic, where you’re actively pushing for improvement, cruise control can be limiting. The first step to behavior change in any capacity is awareness, and by the nature of it cruise control operates without your awareness. Once you gain an awareness of the habit you can determine how it is currently serving you, and create a plan to help it best serve you.

The summary here: There’s a lot of opportunity to improve your life by recognizing the subconscious “cruise control” habits you have. Design more of the good and become aware of more of the bad so you can do something different, if needed.

I was listening to a rare podcast interview with Darren Hardy and he said something that was really humbling. As the author of "The Compound Effect" and one of the most influential minds in the self development space, Hardy said that he doesn’t think he has ever had an original idea. Hardy went on to explain that he is constantly learning, processing, and integrating the perspectives of other people to formulate his own.

The way I see it, if Darren Hardy still draws inspiration from those who come before him and serve alongside him, then we certainly have a lot to learn. The beautiful part is that this information is available at our fingertips. There was a day where you had to go to a library to checkout a book and learn, or travel to a speaking event to hear your role model talk. We can access everything we need instantaneously which accelerates our ability to learn and grow exponentially.

Your next great idea, or the solution you’ve been looking for, is already out there and has probably been shared by someone who came before you. Instead of retreating and feeling disempowered by that, you can feel motivated and inspired to pursue that information. What will always be entirely unique is your context. No one will ever interpret information exactly the same as you because your life experience is solely yours. So the idea might not be original, but the understanding always is, which  allows you to contribute something novel.

But in order to gain that key insight, you need to be a sponge. You need to soak in the wisdom of others and let it influence you. And if the books, podcasts, videos, and worksheets aren’t enough, reach out to that person directly! You’ll be shocked to learn how accessible some people are when you approach them with a genuine curiosity about their work.

As a contrarian thinker, Matthew Zachary presented an interesting philosophy about introducing change to the marketplace. In describing this thought he mentions a book that has a very logical title for the topic - "Disruption".

It takes an extra step of empathy to do, but being able to deliver on the wants and needs of others before they voice them to you is a game changing skill to develop.  It's relevant because it also applies to yourself and your own development. If you continue meeting your own needs as they exist at face-value, you’re going to be missing an opportunity to dig deeper and get to the root of what would be most valuable to you.

Unfortunately we live in a culture where many people view asking for help as a weakness. If you need help that means you’re not capable of it yourself, which reflects negatively on who you are. But that doesn’t make sense. Are you expected to be the absolute best at everything? We know that can’t possibly true, and asking for help is actually a strength because it allows you to focus on what you’re good at and get support where you need it. Ask anyone who’s done well for themselves and they’d tell you the same. So the first piece to this - You need to let others help you.

And all you need is a little help. It’s not like you’re completely reliant on other people to manage your own well-being. In getting help you’re not undervaluing your own ability to get things done, you’re supplementing it by tapping into the skills and perspectives of others. When you ask for help, you’ll find that people are happy to give it to you. It makes others feel good when they can help because it reminds them of their own capabilities, so you’re giving them a little gift in opening them up to your world and how they can be supportive. The world is only give and take if you choose to see it that way. I prefer to see it as give and give, because then value can be transferred and received.

So let’s tie it all together - "I get by" (access the things you need, when you need them) "with a little help" (it actually doesn’t pull people that far out of their way) "from my friends" (who are all around us people we don’t even know that intimately). You’re not the only person on this planet for a reason, we all need some help sometimes, we’re all capable of offering help as well.

The beautiful and sometimes frustrating part of life is that we’re all different. With our own histories and experiences, we see things different ways, and often that leads to disagreement. Today I want to share what I’ve learned about how to fairly, honestly, and effectively disagree with someone.

First, it’s important to not wrap yourself in the idea that you have to be right. If we disagree with someone and engage them about it, it’s likely because we want to convince them of our view point. If that’s the intent of the interaction, then you need to be prepared to change your perspective because that’s the other person’s objective as well. If you want someone else to be open to a new way of thinking, you first must be open to a new way of thinking, and setting a constructive, non-defensive, inquisitive tone to the conversation will be mutually beneficial.

Then, when it comes to the core argument, don’t seek to prove the other person wrong. Any form of personal attack will violate the openness of the conversation and it can turn defensive very quickly. So the best thing to do is ask clarifying questions, have them elaborate on points you don’t understand, and after knowing what they believe you can share your honest perspective on their opinion.

Something that goes a long way is communicating how your opinions have changed based on their insight. Although it may only be subtle, it affirms that you are listening, internalizing, and interested to learn. In approaching the conversation as a mutual learning opportunity, you encourage the other person to be more open to learning as well through your actions.

At the end of the day, sometimes it’s just not worth it to align on everything with everyone. Pick your battles, know that everyone is entitled to seeing things their own way, and have confidence in yourself, your intuition, and your own perspective.

Value isn’t fixed, it’s actually very moldable and subjective, meaning that it very much can be a matter of opinion.There are 3 different components to value that I think are important to keep in mind when determining something’s worth.

The first piece is the context. The urgency and scarcity of something drives how valuable it is perceived to be. For example there’s no cost on air. It is abundant and around us every day. But if you’re drowning underwater I imagine you’d pay quite a bit for some air. That’s an extreme example but it demonstrates how important context is.

This leads to the second component of value, which was referenced - Perception. Perception includes context because it includes how all people view things through their own relative lens, and draw their own conclusion on how valuable something is. There is where sales comes in, you can create a higher perceived value on something based on how you position it.

Now this leads to the third component, and most importantly, how value can be created. A bar of iron costs $5. Made into a horseshoe it costs $12. Made into needles it’s worth $3500 dollars. A core fundamental resource can be used and manipulated to become something more valuable. You are in a position to create more value in everything you do simply by leveraging it accordingly. Your time, money, and energy can all be spent in any number of ways. But there are some ways that are more valuable, and you can choose to pursue those ways to lift the value of everything you do.

If we want to continue benefiting from certain things in our lives we need to consciously control the way we access it. We’ve been trained to think that there’s not enough to go around, and the responsible thing to do is save it for when you need it. Quotes like “save it for a rainy day” and “don’t count your chickens before they hatch” really encourage this idea that what we have exists in finite quantities.

But I believe this idea is out of place and that we should think more abundantly about that which we have access to, which is why I’m posing an alternative quote - “If you don’t use it, you lose it.” In fact, there are many everyday examples that abide by this more welcoming principle. Think about your muscles - if you don’t exercise or workout, they decrease in size and begin to atrophy. Or a company budget - if you don’t spend the amount you’ve been allotted you’ll receive less next year. If you don’t use it you lose it. But what I think is more compelling, and the real nugget to today’s thought, are the more subtle ways this concept exists in the world.

First it applies to your creativity. If you don’t actively pursue creative thinking on a consistent basis you will become less creative. And second, which may seem backwards, is your energy. It takes energy to make energy, and being more active throughout the day actually helps you to be be more energized. It’s not that you’re dipping into the well and pulling out finite resources, your creativity and energy are strengthened by being used.

So if the first half is about losing these qualities if you don’t use them, then the second half is that you can grow these qualities if you actively participate in them. If you want more love in your life give more love. If you want to make more money, spend money and invest in developing skills. We’re not meant to protect our resources, we’re meant to share them and exercise them, because then they’ll return in numbers. Reject scarcity for abundance.