We all have a lot of ‘shoulds’ in our life. 

They can be self-imposed - I should eat healthier. I should spend less time on Facebook. I should be more present at dinner with my loved ones. I should have more focus at work…

And they can be imposed by others - You should have a stable job. You should get married. You should stop hanging around with that person. Or even you shouldn’t spend so much money on that…

Things are already hard enough as they are and the added pressure of knowing you should be doing things differently adds extra weight that is heavy to carry. And I imagine that you’re already trying your best. So let’s make one simple switch in vocabulary to completely change the meaning of these recommendations.

Trade out ‘should’ for ‘could.

I could eat healthier. I could be more present at dinner with loved ones. I could spend less time on Facebook. Or you could have a stable job. You could get married. You could stop spending so much money on that.

Doesn’t that sound completely different? What it does is it creates empowerment. Instead of feeling out of control, it brings awareness to the choice you have to make things different. It’s a way to frame the exact same concepts so that they’re much more approachable and available rather than prescribed to fix you. 

Your self-imposed 'shoulds' shift to an awareness of areas for improvement. The 'shoulds' imposed by others shift to perspectives that you can consider and ultimately choose how to relate with for yourself. 

So the next time that you catch yourself saying that you should do this or that, change the narrative to what you could do about it and see how your energy around it changes. And the next time someone tells you what they think you should do, think about it as something that you could do and see how much more receptive you are to it.

If you want to start seeing your potential in ways you never have, and feel inspired by the possibilities of what life 'could' be rather than what you're telling yourself it 'should' be... So that you’re not only inspired by who you can become but genuinely following through on it in a way you never have before, start right now by installing your Super Habits system.

So much of life is the story we tell about it. There’s a story behind a past experience and how we relate with it in the present. There’s a story about who we are, what we’re capable of, and the details we’re including that either hold us back or propel us forward. There’s a story you tell about your perceived level of success, or lack thereof. 

All a story does is it creates meaning. Our life has a certain set of facts. The story becomes the way we relate with those facts and extract meaning from it. Let’s say for example you get in a car crash. One story is that it’s a major inconvenience and hassle, working with insurance and not having transportation for a few days as your car gets repaired. Another story is feeling like you have a second chance at life, that you’re being protected and destined for something. 

Two stories, very different meanings, and even more different implications around how that impacts you moving forward.

I recently came across a quote that I really like that relates to this concept. It goes “Don’t write your story about what happened, write your story and make it happen.”

Read that again: “Don’t write your story about what happened, write your story and make it happen.”

The future is undefined and uncertain. We’ve all had huge things happen to us where life has become permanently different on a moment's notice. We hold that power in every moment of every day. Seriously. But we have fears, doubts, and insecurities that keep us from dreaming as big as we want to.

If we don’t dictate the direction of our future, something else will. Either way tomorrow will happen and it can be by your design or by something else. Just like you can look back and choose a new more empowering story, you can look forward and pursue a new and better story as well.

Writing your story about what happened is the reactive way to live. It’s your story still but it’s not the one you’d most want to tell. Writing your story and making it happen is a proactive way to go out and chase the footsteps you want to leave behind.

Embedded in the quote is something important - a statement of commitment. You’ve written your story. It’s already decided. Now it’s up to you to be accountable to it, show up for it, and do the things required to make it happen.

If you want your story to be one that is healthier, more bold and courageous, and full of deep and meaningful work and relationships, you need to step up your self-improvement game. And the fastest and most effective way to do that is to register for the Super Habits System.

One of the things that holds us back most is the fear of making a mistake. We don’t want to do anyone wrong, harm ourselves or others, embarrass ourselves or expose ourselves to the judgment of others. And that’s what a mistake is - it’s when something didn’t go according to plan and it led to an unintended negative consequence.

Mistakes are closely connected to our behaviors, meaning they’re things that you did or didn’t do. We made the wrong decision, said something the wrong way, interpreted a situation incorrectly, or whatever else it might be. These bundle into real behaviors and actions that you would have preferred to have gone differently.

But on the other side of the coin, we know that our behaviors and actions are the drivers of change in our lives. So if we’re too afraid to take new actions, while it may help us avoid making mistakes in the short-term it often leads to larger, much more difficult to fix mistakes in the long run.

With that in mind I’d like us to shift our relationships with making mistakes. What if mistakes were just ‘miss takes’? Just like the takes of a movie, what if all making a mistake means that we have another opportunity to try again?

Behaviors don’t exist in isolation. They’re all connected and linked to each other. And sure, there are certain behaviors and actions that are irreversible when done… But that doesn’t mean that the end result is permanent. You can make up for mistakes, apologize, get creative, do something differently, or otherwise reconcile the situation to produce a new result.

Making mistakes is part of the process. No one is immune to it, everyone makes mistakes. But I’ve found that the people who are more willing to put themselves out there and do something wrong are also the happiest, most successful, most achieving, and most fulfilled.

Life would be so boring if all we did were things that we knew how to do perfectly. Life is a learning experience and as we learn, there are going to be errors along the way. The more we allow ourselves to embrace the mindset that mistakes are okay, they’re just ‘missed takes’, then we give ourselves permission to do things differently (and get different outcomes).

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If you feel like you’re leaving potential on the table and not achieving the levels of personal health, success, productivity, and contribution you’re capable of… And you know that more focus and structure is your ticket to reaching your goals… Then this is for you!

In 5 minutes a day for 21 days you can install the Super Habits System to become ridiculously consistent, take your daily output to elite levels, and live a life that other people have a hard time keeping up with!

You know how so often throughout the day we ask each other “How are you?” There’s a question in it but no one really answers it, it has become a way to politely greet someone and initiate conversation. 

But imagine if we started taking that request seriously. That any time someone asked us how we were doing we took a genuine moment to reflect and respond honestly. We would cultivate so much more awareness of our own personal state and learn about others'.

With that intention in mind, I’ve been experimenting with an alternative question, “How’s your spirit?” I’ve noticed that it breaks the pattern and prompts a much more thoughtful response. It goes one layer beyond the perception of how we’re feeling in the moment and to the core of how we’re feeling overall in our life. It transcends emotions and taps into their being. 

I must caveat, I’m not asking this question to my Uber driver (or maybe I would!) But I’m definitely more intentional about using this question when beginning conversation with people I’m closer to and care about because it opens the door to connect on a deeper level. 

And because I care I want to ask you - How’s your spirit? Not how you’re feeling right now, and not even how you’ve been feeling overall… How’s your spirit? Is it full and inspired? Is it broken and low on hope? Is it tired of persevering and reaching a breaking point? Or is it unwavering and strong?

Seriously, pause for a moment right now to ask. How’s your spirit?

This really matters because it’s the energy that coats everything about you and may provide insight into your life and well-being. And once you’ve done your own self-reflection, ask a friend or family member how their spirit is and inspire the same reflection within them.

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If you feel like you’re leaving potential on the table and not achieving the levels of personal health, success, productivity, and contribution you’re capable of… And you know that more focus and structure is your ticket to reaching your goals… Then this is for you! 

In 5 minutes a day for 21 days you can install the Super Habits System to become ridiculously consistent, take your daily output to elite levels, and live a life that other people have a hard time keeping up with!

Do you know what’s the hardest part about running a marathon? It’s not hitting mile 5 and realizing you still have over 20 more to go. It’s not mile 18 when you’re exhausted and you still have a 10k to run. And it’s not the last mile when you’re fully spent and you’re trying to get yourself to finish strong.

The hardest part about running a marathon is getting to the starting line.

It’s having the courage to make the commitment. Getting through months of training without injury or life getting in the way. Going to bed the night before afraid of the physical punishment you’re about to put yourself through but getting up and out the door anyway. 

This isn’t unique to running marathons though, the hardest part to anything is just getting started. In fact, Woody Allen has a famous quote “80% of success in life is showing up.”

That means getting yourself into the gym even when you don’t feel like it. Following through on your sales plan even though you’re afraid to. Making it out to that event that you committed to but you have every excuse not to go. Whatever’s going on, just show up.

It will always be easier to not show up - To make an exception, have an excuse, feel bad for yourself, minimize responsibilities, and take the easy path. It’s the mind and body’s preferred and evolutionary state. But it’s that kind of thinking that keeps us alive rather than makes us feel alive. And isn’t that what we want?

But those who refuse the allure of complacency and commit themselves to doing the uncomfortable, unfamiliar, and hard thing have a serious advantage over the rest! The more you put yourself out there, the more pathways you give the universe to self-organize everything you need to make your dreams a reality. And when you don’t show up, you are pinching the flow that creates more abundance, coincidence, and serendipity in your life.

But showing up is more than just being physically present, it also requires that you’re energetically present. It asks you to bring the best version of yourself to the table and not just the shell of who you could be. 

If you need help showing up consistently to the commitments you make, to yourself and others, and feeling on fire so that you make the most of every moment of every day, I encourage you to check out the Super Habits System: In just 5 minutes a day you will supercharge your productivity and focus, and make your previous best days your new every day.

One of our evolutionarily hardwired mindsets is negativity bias.

We are literally optimized to see all of the things that are wrong, generate fear, or aren’t working out because bringing those things to our awareness was a mechanism for keeping us safe. As civilization has advanced, this bias is often out of place and keeps us from enjoying things as fully as we otherwise could. 

That’s why today I want you to be aware of your daily glimmers. You’ve heard the expression about having “a glimmer of hope”, right? Throughout the day we experience little shining moments that remind us how many things in our lives are going right. 

But, because of negativity bias, we aren’t primed to see them…

A glimmer can be something as simple as a sensory experience, like the waft of some cookies from a bakery. It can be a moment of connection where you got a text out of the blue or had a friendly interaction with a stranger. It could be a mention at work acknowledging a job well done. 

If we can try to be extra perceptive of these glimmers in the moment while they’re happening, it will completely shift our mood. The recognition of a small win brings a micro moment of accomplishment, creating a rush of positive neurotransmitters that shift your physiology. This also could induce some momentary gratitude that adds to the experience. 

Now here’s the tough part. Even though these moments are happening all day everyday, we don’t benefit from all of its potential because we don’t naturally perceive it.

The best way to bring something into your awareness is to choose to be more aware of it. Every time you pay attention to your glimmers, you’re training your subconscious mind to look for more. You’re priming yourself for it and slowly but surely, the process will become more natural.

Now with all of this in mind, how would you get started? My recommendation is to intentionally reflect on the “glimmers” of your day every evening before bed. And that daily conscious action will impact the unconscious pattern your mind uses throughout the day.

If you have a hard time being consistent with new routines and habits like this, that you know are best for you but for whatever reason you can’t bring yourself to doing, that’s exactly what I’ve created the Super Habits System for. It’s the single process you can use to build the structure you need to reach elite levels of daily performance and consistency.

My mom got me a new sweatshirt that has an awesome message and mission that I wanted to share about. The brand is called Wear The Peace and it was all started by two guys who are sons of refugees and wanted to contribute to helping people who are less fortunate around the world.

The embroidered words on the sweatshirt that inspire me every time I wear it are “Humankind. Be both.”

What this expression does so eloquently is it reminds us of our shared humanity while also giving a strong call to action. We are so much more similar than we are different, but too often we don’t see that. This message reminds us all to take a step back and separate from the labels and categories we live in every day and instead identify as part of the collective.

That’s the first part, now let’s get into the second. "Be both".

When you layer on this command and split the word humankind into its two elements, we’re told to be human and to be kind.

To be human is to accept that you’re imperfect but also acknowledge that you’re an individual. We all have our own lives, experiences, and stories that make us the beautiful humans we are.

To be kind is to choose to be positive, friendly, considerate, and supportive of others. When we’re kind it means that we’re not only peacefully coexisting but we’re adding to each other’s experience.

To me that’s where this message all powerfully comes to one - when our shared humanity combines with our individual intention to support each other. This is what has the power to change the world. Imagine if more people saw each other as more similar than different, and were motivated to be helpful more often… 

There would be less hate and more love in the world. Less fighting and more cooperation. Less suffering and more thriving. Everything would be better off!

And as individuals in this humankind collective, all we can control is what we do ourselves. So let’s be human, let’s be kind, and let’s be the example that inspires other people to do the same.

Want to support Wear The Peace? Check them out here!

Will-power is getting a lot of attention these days and is being talked about from many different angles. Let’s explore all of it so that we can stop being confused and conflicted and decide what we want to think.

On the positive side, will-power is known to be a point of differentiation for successful people. There’s a study that suggests will-power is a better predictor of academic achievement than IQ by a factor of two. Alongside that, in the infamous Marshmallow experiment where kids were closed in a room with a marshmallow and told to delay eating it to get an additional reward, the kids who could hold off on eating the marshmallow for longer were found to achieve significantly more in their career.

Now on the negative side, we’re learning that will-power is like a muscle, with a finite capacity that eventually wears out. This means that will-power is unsustainable and cannot be used as a primary source of motivation. We’ve also heard that will-power isn’t even the most effective thing you can use to change your behavior, and that your environment is the greatest contributing factor to the things you do or don’t do. Dr. Benjamin Hardy wrote a book all about this called “Willpower Doesn’t Work”.

With all of that in mind, what if I told you that all of it was correct? That willpower was the greatest point of differentiation and unsustainable and dwarfed by the influence of environment?

This all can be true when you talk about when and how willpower is meant to be used.

In “The One Thing”, Gary Keller says “When it comes to willpower, timing is everything.” It is not meant to be used in every moment of every day but rather reserved for the high-leverage things when you need it the most. And equally willpower is not best used over and over again to do the same thing, but only initially to get yourself to take action enough times so that it becomes a habit.

This is a strategic approach to using willpower ensuring that you have it when you need it, you’re not relying on it for everything, and you don’t need it forever. And taking a step back, that’s similar to how self-discipline works - first structure your environment to make the right choices easy to make and when appropriate use willpower to enforce the commitments you’ve made when you don’t feel like following through.

If you want to establish this healthy balance of willpower in your life and implement high-level systems that make consistency easier than ever (which is what will-power is meant to help you with), and because of that become more productive and intentional on a daily basis... You should register for the Super Habits System Bootcamp. After just 21 days of dedicated focus to your mindset and life systems you will take your game to the next level!

One thing that I see so many people get caught up in, including myself, is people pleasing. And it’s not entirely wrong, it comes from a place of genuinely wanting to make sure other people are happy and supported. But the challenge is, how can we do it in such a way so that we don’t step over the line where it goes from being helpful to being sacrificial?

Many of us find ourselves on the extreme side of people pleasing and because of that, I want to get more specific about what’s actually happening. 

In a few different ways, seeking to please others at our own expense teaches us to become dependent on external validation. Instead of finding pride in our own actions, we trust someone else’s opinion over our own. Instead of feeling intrinsically rewarded by our effort, we connect fulfillment with perceived achievement.

And every time we put someone else’s needs above our own, we further permit the belief system that makes it more and more acceptable.

What this leads to is that you’re much less likely to enforce your personal boundaries for fear of making someone else feel bad, which ultimately causes you to be pulled further away from what you want and need. It also causes you to be overstretched so that you have less to give others, pouring from a glass that is nearing empty.

Again, this is the extreme side of the equation. So how do we strike a more healthy balance?

It’s all about intentions and communication. If you can tell someone the ways you’d like to be helpful, within the conditions that do not lead to you compromising your own needs, you have more authority to say “no” when your boundary gets tested. This requires that you define where your boundary is and you make sure the people around you know it.

For example, I’m really prioritizing my sleep right now. So what I did was I told my fiance that my intention is to be asleep by 10:30pm and if she wants my attention, I have plenty of it to offer before then. She has received that message and complied with it, helping us to find mutual ways to get our needs met.

To summarize - Don’t completely reject that people-pleasing nature you have inside of you. It’s beautiful and it means that you care. But when you compromise yourself to please others it reinforces a negative loop that makes things worse for everyone involved in the long run.

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If you feel like you’re leaving potential on the table and not achieving the levels of personal health, success, productivity, and contribution you’re capable of… And you know that more focus and structure is your ticket to reaching your goals… Then this is for you! 

In 5 minutes a day for 21 days you can install the Super Habits System to become ridiculously consistent, take your daily output to elite levels, and live a life that other people have a hard time keeping up with!