The one certainty about life is that life is uncertain. As much as we want to know what’s going to happen next, we simply can’t. There are too many variables, many of which are out of our control, and as you’ve probably noticed things don’t go exactly according to plan. 

This is interesting because we as humans crave certainty. Our brains are designed to seek comfort, so we default to trying to make calculated choices that lead to more predictable results. This process is informed by our past experiences, learnings, and beliefs to try and create a future that is as certain as possible.

Unfortunately, this often leads us to living the “shoulds” of life - Seeking to meet the expectations of others, to live a particular life’s path, even when you know it’s not authentically yours. It’s the “I should get a solid job with benefits and a pension”, “I should get married and have kids”, “I should be saving more for retirement”. The fear of uncertainty nudges us to look to others and the standards they’ve set to determine our own.

But if you’re being honest with yourself, even that is uncertain. It’s simply more comfortable because you don’t have to feel responsible for your own happiness. But if we recognize that our future is constantly uncertain, then we can take risks and make decisions that feel true to ourselves, and feel more alive and aligned more often.

We’ve probably all heard how important it is to get advice from others, but also how careful we need to be about the source of that advice. Darren Hardy put it great by saying “Only take advice from someone you would immediately trade places with.” While that might be a bit extreme, I want to frame this thought in that perspective - You need to be really careful about the advice you receive, but for a different reason.

Let’s talk about what it means to seek counsel. It’s slightly different than getting advice, and that’s even evident in the root word being used. When someone offers counsel they’re taking more of a consultative approach to providing feedback. They’re lending their experience, expertise, and years of knowledge to provide perspective around the issue at hand. However, in a consultative relationship, the final decision maker is still you. This means that the intent of seeking counsel is to become more informed about what your options are before making a decision. 

Advice, however, is usually someone telling you what they think you should do. There’s a bit more of an expectation there because the dynamic of the conversation is a little different. It’s only a small nuance, but the intent slightly shifts because their goal is to get you to think what they think, which may very well be in your best interest, but does not necessarily mean you’re thinking for yourself. 

So what changes? Not much, except that the advice you receive has a new tint to it. Yes, get insight from others who have been there and done that, you have a lot to learn, but no two stories are the same and ultimately it’s up to you to integrate that information and think for yourself. Seek counsel, not advice.

This mindset is a total game-changer for me. My intention for 2021 is to get uncomfortable and I’m getting really intentional about stepping outside of my comfort zone as often as I can. Shared by Brian Johnson, the anti-fragile mindset really embodies how to make the most of leaving your comfort zone. It's the growth you can experience by doing things differently and putting yourself out there.

The anti-fragile mindset is about reframing difficulties and obstacles to see them as fuel for your growth. With this mindset you can embrace challenge to create opportunity for yourself, and strengthen the way you relate to life’s circumstances. I’m using anti-fragility in a few ways. First with my cold shower routine, I have started smiling in the cold because I feel myself growing through the pain. Also, when someone tells me “No”. In the face of rejection I have learned to pull the benefit out of it, trusting that the experience is preparing me for something bigger. 

It’s unnatural to do, but when you start inviting challenges in your life instead of running from them, you begin to accelerate on your path toward excellence.

You want to hear something great? Failure. I know that might not sound right to you but I’m going to elaborate on why that’s the case, and share with you what I do when I fail.

First off, the fact that you failed means that you tried. Former US president Theodore Roosevelt was quoted saying “It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed.” The attempt should be celebrated, and it in itself is more meaningful than we give it credit for. Most importantly, failure is a lesson. It is incredible feedback about your process, and allows you to learn at an accelerated rate. But, this is only possible when you allow yourself to pull the lessons embedded in the failure.

And that’s what I do, I have a Failure Reflection Framework that takes me through a series of prompts to really understand my performance, the good and bad about it, and identify areas for improvement moving forward.

Ultimately, what the framework does is it brings your awareness to the opportunities you didn’t pursue and the insights you didn’t consider. Then it gives you the structure you need to figure out what you’re going to do next to apply those learnings, because what matters most is using the experience to inform your next attempt.

This thought about the difference between positivity and optimism is very interesting, and I discovered it on Simon Sinek’s podcast “A Bit Of Optimism.”

Positivity is a reflection of your current state. It’s seeing the best in the way things are right now. It’s a perspective because it’s a lens through which you see your reality, and it helps you to experience better moments. I’m a big advocate for positivity.

But optimism is different, and just as important. As Simon stated in the podcast “Optimism is not a denial of the current state, it’s a belief that the future is bright, but it accepts current darkness.” In learning this, we can see that optimism doesn’t say much about how you feel in the moment, you absolutely can be stressed, worried, or anxious. It merely allows you to accept it as temporary. 

So now that begs the question, how are positivity and optimism different in practice? I think a lot of the short-term tactics like positive body posture, parasympathetic breathing, and gratitude are all great in helping to change your physiology so that you’re more comfortable feeling positive. But when it comes to optimism it’s more about practicing faith and surrendering to the process, trusting that things will ultimately be as they should.

So, let's be both positive and optimistic!

Sometimes you’ve just gotta go before you’re ready. I’m not telling you to be reckless, but if you wait for things to be perfect then you’ll never get started. In some of my more recent entrepreneurial endeavors I have taken this philosophy to heart, and that philosophy is “Ready, fire, aim.”

As you probably noticed, I spoke out of order. It doesn’t make sense to aim after you take a shot because then it's too late to do anything. Well that’s exactly the point! Sometimes you need to sacrifice detail and perfection in order to go quickly.

Don't get me wrong I’m a very detail oriented guy, but I’ve found this philosophy has helped me lately in a crucial way. It makes you commit. When you take your shot, it’s too late to take it back. You need to be prepared to back up the shot you took, and be accountable for doing the work that needs to get done to truly pursue the opportunity. One pillar of high performance is necessity, and committing early generates a necessity that influences your performance.

Now when is the right time to use this? As I mentioned previously, it’s when you want to get moving, either to go faster or to get started. Energy is required to overcome the heaviness and inertia you feel with things as they are, and the “ready, fire, aim” mentality helps you to pick up momentum in important ways.

We spend enough time thinking and planning, and let’s do more doing. Whatever is on your mind, take your shot and get moving. Experience is the greatest teacher. "Ready, Fire, Aim"!

Something that is fundamental to personal development is becoming the person you’re meant to be. But this is tough because, what if you don’t know who you want to be? If you’re like me then you probably have a bunch of different interests, and a few too many ideas about how to build a life and career. And with all of these ideas it could be tough coming upon a comprehensive and focused life mission.

Well let's think about it in a different way - Instead of figuring out who you re, let's start with who you’re not. Just like you’ve seen other people and admired the things they’ve done, you’ve also seen a bunch of examples of who you don’t want to be. And I think it’s easier to know with more certainty what to avoid rather than what to pursue.

When it comes to your job or schooling, do you know what you don’t want to do? In a relationship do you know the type of person you don’t want to be with? And when you’re looking in the mirror, do you know the qualities you don’t want to see in yourself? It doesn’t seem like gaining clarity on this would reveal anything compelling, but the reality is you are narrowing in on fewer options that are better suited for you. It’s through experience that you can learn more about yourself, and see how it relates back to you. 

If something works or something doesn’t, that’s more insight you can use to determine what you ultimately should be focused on. Sometimes it’s not about being who you want to be, it’s about not being who you don’t want to be. And in order to do that you need to start with who you’re not and go from there.

It's time to dispel an old myth because it is the roadblock to so much prosperity. To put it simply, what you do matters, in all areas of your life, and I’ll show you why. 

First let’s talk about this concept called the Butterfly Effect, I believe it was a movie that showcased how the smallest of changes can have major, unforeseen consequences. This was presented as it relates to creating the future, and how one small decision here can create a whole world of difference somewhere else.

Of course, and this has come up hundreds of times, the small things you do on a daily basis matter. Being disciplined in your routines slowly strengthens you, allowing you to grow into a more energized and actualized person.

And let’s talk about this through the lens of impact as well. Your small choice to show up positively or negatively to one person matters! Who knows how that energy goes on to affect other people in their day, and it very quickly could grow into an exponential. The same goes for social impact. We don’t think that small, seemingly insignificant contributions make a difference.  That couldn’t be further from the case, because you have no idea how your example might inspire someone else with more means, and how your contribution is a necessary drop in the sea of change you’re a part of.

I really want you to get this - What you do matters, because in every moment you are creating the future. There are an infinite amount of ways the world can go, but your choices make one of those possibilities a reality, and we better start making the right choices to create the right future.

As it relates to social impact, check out the platform I’ve created called For Purpose at www.forpurpose.com, and you’ll start to see the real effect your decisions can have in the community!