Have you ever set an intention, had strong reasons to do something, but when it came down to doing it you found a way to talk yourself out of it? Maybe it was a new exercise or diet plan you committed to, a tough conversation you needed to have with someone, or a big decision you thought you made that you backed out on. 

The reason that happens is because your brain can make sense of just about anything. No matter what you throw at it, it will find a way to find meaning in it. But unfortunately, if your brain detects something as new then it flags it as a threat. This creates a problem where your brain actively resists changes you’re bringing into your life, and it is incredibly gifted at telling you a convincing story that is biased and meant to protect you.

It's called self-sabotage, and one of the main forms of it is called rationalization. This is literally your subconscious mind biasing your conscious thinking to draw certain conclusions about what you should do or want to do.

So if you want to pursue your growth you’re going to need to have a system that double checks your own thoughts so that you can be accountable to your original intentions, and not the convenient story you mind is producing to protect you. That’s why I want to introduce this idea that specificity creates accountability.

When something is specific it has extra details considered. It gives you a more objective criteria to determine if something happened as you wanted it to or not. This is important because when that rationalizing thought in your head comes up, trying to convince you of something you don’t want to believe, now you have extra reference points to make that comparison conscious and more reliable.

Let’s say you want to read more. Your intention is probably to read more to acquire specific knowledge, but setting a goal to read more is too ambiguous and non-specific to really do anything for you. Maybe you read an article on social media or somewhere else that your brain could classify as “reading more”. 

But if you add specificity, by committing to reading a physical book and a certain amount of it, you give your brain way less wiggle room to interpret things incorrectly. You cannot hide and the end result - You remain more accountable to your intention because you have better criteria to ensure you’re delivering on it.

On your personal development journey, you need to be sure you have the right foundation in place. Discover the 7 Fundamentals To Self Improvement and instantly accelerate your growth! (Who knows what you might be overlooking and how it’s holding you back…)

If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily text messages that help you grow and discover yourself every day.

You may have heard before that you get in life what you’re willing to tolerate. Instead of naturally reaching to achieve your wildest ambitions, your life hovers at whatever level you determine is acceptable. These are the standards you have in life but the thing is, if they’re not enforced, then they’re not actually your standards.

That’s where tolerations are really interesting. They are the things that either breach the standards you set and established a new and lower benchmark for what’s acceptable, or they’re preventing you from raising your standards and improving the quality of your life. When you hear talk about self-growth it often is in the form of stretching your capacity or getting outside of your comfort zone, but an underrepresented opportunity for growth is raising your baseline standards.

With that in mind, it’s important to understand what you’ve been tolerating in your life because they are a limiting factor in your growth. Tolerations take many forms. They include the little things in your physical environment like the things around the house that need to get done - A lightbulb that doesn’t work, a corner that needs to be cleaned up, or an appliance that needs to be repaired. It also includes your social environment and the people who are asking for too much, who don’t have reasonable expectations for you, or who are a drain on your energy but you’re afraid of confronting them about it and setting boundaries.

Again, you get in life what you’re willing to tolerate. But these little things that aren’t ideal couldn’t be that big of a deal, right? Wrong. Not only do they add up to weigh on you, adding avoidable pressure and friction to your life, they’re compromising your standards and dictating what you feel like you’re worthy of. And you know how it goes, it feels so good to get something done or fix something that deep down has been affecting you! It’s liberating, and if you’re ready to take on a challenge I have something for you.

I’m participating in a 24 hour challenge that is explicitly designed to help you identify the things you’ve been tolerating and commit to fixing them. I know from experience you’ll be amazed by how much you can get done when you allocate time to doing it. So if you don’t want to be held back by these small inconveniences, which are restricting your growth and happiness, I encourage you to register for the challenge right now.

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It’s very likely you’re going to encounter times when you’re not good enough. That’s the truth, and while it might not feel good to hear, it shouldn’t be a concern.

I believe that we’re in a major worthiness crisis. Many people are riddled with self-doubt and low self-confidence because they fall short of the expectations they set for themselves. But not being good enough is okay. In fact it’s inevitable. If you were good at everything then you’d be good at nothing… So what’s most important is how you respond to your feelings of not being good enough.

With all of that in mind, I encourage you to adopt a growth mindset. A growth mindset is a belief that you can improve, that things are not fixed but within your power to change, and any adversity or setback is merely a lesson you need to learn so that you can be better for next time. So instead of taking it personally when you’re not good enough at something, or failed to rise to the occasion, use it as an opportunity to grow by using these three expressions.

“I don’t know how” - It’s likely that you feel like you’re not good enough because you don’t know how to do something. You can learn! Not knowing how is not an issue, that’s easy to fix.

“I need more time” - Some things come naturally to us, and some don’t. But just because something takes longer for you to do doesn’t mean you’re not good enough. With practice you’ll get faster at it, but while you’re learning it you can’t expect to begin at a fast pace.

“I need help” - This is HUGE! Just because you need help with something does not mean you’re not good enough. Everyone needs help and everything is better when people get help. Asking for help is a strength not a weakness, remember that.

You’re supposed to encounter situations where you don’t feel like you’re good enough. It means that you’re doing new things, pushing boundaries, and exploring your own capacities. Life is hard as it is, and through this process you don’t need to add an extra layer of pressure on yourself. 

Commit to changing that voice in your head to one that is empowering, supportive, and has your best interest. It will begin to conquer the influence that your weaknesses and inadequacies have over you.  Reflect on this - How would the best version of yourself respond to times when you don’t feel like you’re “good enough”?

On your personal development journey, you need to be sure you have the right foundation in place. Discover the 7 Fundamentals To Self Improvement and instantly accelerate your growth! (Who knows what you might be overlooking and how it’s holding you back…)

If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily text messages that help you grow and discover yourself every day.

Not in the US or Canada? Send me a DM on Instagram to @self.improvement.daily

If you’ve been going through a bit of a lull lately, or you feel stuck or stagnant, I wanted to share a quick note of encouragement. It can seem as though the days go by and nothing really meaningful is happening. Maybe you’re not as present with loved ones as you’d like to be, or you’re doing mundane work that you don’t believe in any more, or you’re just looking back at the day and feeling like you didn’t make the most of it. In any case, Oprah has a reminder for you.

“You define your own life. Don’t let other people write your script.”

Oftentimes feelings of dejection or lack of purpose are a result of you living for someone else, or allowing someone else’s vision for your life to take priority over your own. These are the ‘shoulds’ of life and they come from all over - The expectations of others, the precedent established by society, and the ways of accepting the way things are around you.

But that’s exactly it. You get in life what you’re willing to tolerate, and in every moment you’re establishing your standard. It’s a dynamic set point that fluctuates over the course of days, weeks, months and years. But knowing that you have a say in the matter is an incredibly empowering thought because it gives you the freedom of choice.

You can choose to live your own story rather than the story that appears to be written for you. It takes courage to do, it’s uncomfortable, and it creates confrontation. Lisa Bilyeu calls this having “radical confidence”. If you want to feel an enthusiasm for life and excitement about the things you do, you cannot expect to get that by living by anyone else’s standards but your own.

So go there with me for a moment. What do you secretly want that you haven’t given a strong voice to? What things have you always wanted to do but you felt like it was too controversial or against the grain in your life? I’m not asking you to do it, but I am asking you to think about how good it would feel if you did.

On your personal development journey, you need to be sure you have the right foundation in place. Discover the 7 Fundamentals To Self Improvement and instantly accelerate your growth! (Who knows what you might be overlooking and how it’s holding you back…)

Something I want to encourage you to question is your relationship with stress. The physiological definition of stress is “a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances.” Notice in this definition how there are two different conditions that cause stress. The first is in adversity and the second is upon extreme demand. What’s not nearly well enough understood about stress is that is plays a purpose in both positive and negative situations.

As it relates to adversity - This is when something isn’t going right and the stress provokes concern, doubt, or worry. This corresponds with the first version of stress which is called distress. Distress is associated with negative emotions like anxiety, sorrow, and pain. It’s something that we want to avoid at all costs because it really affects our well-being. While that is a good intention to have, when you are feeling distress it’s simply indicating that things aren’t where you want them to be in your life, and it’s an alarm for change. So in that way, distress is meaningful and useful.

The second circumstance is when you’re doing something very demanding. This happens when you’re working out hard, pushing yourself through a project, or doing something outside your comfort zone. We don’t often equate this to stress because the challenge experienced creates short-term moments of pain and strain, but it doesn’t carry lasting negative emotions. But this is in fact stress, and the term for it is eustress. Eustress is the strain you experience when you place temporary demands on yourself, often intentionally, and it is an incredible source for growth because it allows you to access new frontiers in your mind and body.

Despite what we’ve come to learn, stress is actually really good for you. It’s only when it becomes chronic and unrelenting where it can cause health issues. But once you learn how to manage it, and induce it in controlled ways, you’ll start to really see the benefits.

Now reflect on both sides of this right now - What is causing you distress right now, and what is an opportunity for eustress?

On your personal development journey, you need to be sure you have the right foundation in place. Discover the 7 Fundamentals To Self Improvement and instantly accelerate your growth! (Who knows what you might be overlooking and how it’s holding you back…)

If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily text messages that help you grow and discover yourself every day.

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As taboo as it might be, something that is very closely tied to our personal well-being is our finances. The reality is money is a huge source of stress and challenge for many people, and while I’m far from an expert on financial management (which is why I don’t talk about it much), I wanted to share a basic principle that relates to your spending, which is about being intentional.

Just like anything else, the way you spend your money is your choice. And when it comes to making choices it’s important that you make your decision through these two lenses: 1) Is this something I actually need?, and 2) Is this a value exchange I’m willing to engage in?

Whether it’s our time, money, energy or attention, we must be aware of the fact that we’re vulnerable to manipulation. We can be persuaded to think a certain way based on the emotions we feel or the urgency, scarcity, or prestige associated with the decision. And particularly with money, marketing has gotten really good at making us feel a certain way to bias our decision making process and purchase things that we wouldn’t with a clear mind.

So the lesson today is to double check your spending. Get really clear on what things you’re investing your money into just so that you can be aware of your habits. Many people, myself included, have a tendency to avoid their finances because it feels uncomfortable and even embarrassing to feel so incompetent or negligent. And it’s easier to just ignore it. But keeping it in the back of your mind affects you more than you realize. 

When you have the courage to dive in and address your inadequacies head on, you’ll realize how liberating it feels to give attention to something you’ve been neglecting. It takes a weight off your shoulders and opens up your capacity to do more. This certainly applies with your personal finances and the best way to audit your financial choices is by simply looking at your spending.

Now if you’re like me, and you feel like this all applies to you but you don’t know where to get started, or you need extra accountability to actually follow through on something like this, I want to invite you to a free 24 hour wealth challenge that my mentor and coach Jim Bunch is hosting. It starts tomorrow, and in this challenge Jim will give you a step by step process to identify where you’re spending money unnecessarily and the encouragement to take action on it, helping you save hundreds of dollars a month. If this sounds like something you need you can register for this free challenge right now.

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There’s a lot of buzz around the New Year that causes a lot of people to reflect on their lives. "Who do I want to be? What do I want to stand for? What am I passionate about doing more of? What’s important to me?"

It’s a great opportunity to pause and align, so much so that New Year Resolutions have become somewhat of an expectation. While setting these resolutions often don’t work for people, there’s a great intention to it that I want to bring forward now.

Think about it. Exactly one year from now, you’re going to be in the groove living your day to day. You’re going to have different projects you’re working on, people you’re investing time with, plans that are coming up. It’s going to feel like just another day, but what happens on that day is still very much to be determined. You’re building toward it right now, and who you are and what you’re passionate about a year from now is the result of the decisions and priorities you hold right now.

Your future will not change if you do not change. We all desire a better life, and as the years pass, we hope that things keep on getting better. But hoping is not enough. As poet William Ernest Henley put it “You are the master of your fate and the captain of your soul.” Well today, in this very moment you’re listening to this, you have a world of opportunity in front of you waiting to be seized.

There’s a very clear path to getting what you want in life but many people aren’t willing to do what it takes to have it. First you must decide what you want. Cultivate that strong vision for how you want things to be. Then you need to backtrack and think of the intermediate things you need to do to create that vision. It can be uncertain and ambiguous, but having any sort of plan helps you to get on the path to then start navigating. Then finally, you need to do the things you’ve determined you need to do. You know this, there’s no replacement for doing the work and taking action.

To get you started on this process I’m going to ask you to reflect on this question - One year from the present moment, who do you want to be, what do you want to do, and how do you want to show up in the world?

On your personal development journey, you need to be sure you have the right foundation in place. Discover the 7 Fundamentals To Self Improvement and instantly accelerate your growth! (Who knows what you might be overlooking and how it’s holding you back…)

If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily text messages that help you grow and discover yourself every day.

I’m sure you’ve experienced a time when you’ve been in chronic pain. It’s uncomfortable, limiting, and exhausting. It puts a heaviness on top of everything, making everything harder to do because of the physical and emotional energy it takes to get yourself moving.

Something that is less physically debilitating is a toothache. But if you’ve ever had one, you know how consuming it is. It takes up your entire existence because you cannot ignore it or act like it’s not there. 

When you have a toothache the only thing on your mind is "Man, I wish I didn’t have a toothache! Things would be so good if only I didn’t have a toothache.” The crazy part is, all of the time you spent in your life without a toothache, you never thought twice about it. You didn’t even notice it. But now that you no longer have a pain-free mouth, it’s what you want most, and you realize how much you took it for granted.

The toothache is a metaphor for many things in life. What blessings do we pass by every day that we’ve grown accustomed to just being part of our lives? Running water, a garbage person who comes and hauls your trash away, your ability to walk, speak, and think. Your ability to call a parent, kiss your partner goodnight, drive to get groceries. Like a toothache takes away a painless mouth, imagine if any of what I just mentioned was taken away from you. Your quality of life would be different and you’d be envious of how good you had it.

That is how good we have it right now! We’re living in these privileges and blessings. It’s incredible, but we don’t think about it. But the toothache reminds us that things can change quickly, and we should be better at appreciating what we have before it’s gone.

Do you want to live blindly and passively, unaware of the good fortune you live with? Or would you prefer to exist in a state of gratitude and appreciation for the quality of life you have? To make that tangible for you today, take a moment to reflect on this - What have I taken for granted my entire life, and how can I acknowledge it right now?

On your personal development journey, you need to be sure you have the right foundation in place. Discover the 7 Fundamentals To Self Improvement and instantly accelerate your growth! (Who knows what you might be overlooking and how it’s holding you back…)

If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily text messages that help you grow and discover yourself every day.