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July 28, 2022

"You define your own life. Don't let other people write your script."

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If you’ve been going through a bit of a lull lately, or you feel stuck or stagnant, I wanted to share a quick note of encouragement. It can seem as though the days go by and nothing really meaningful is happening. Maybe you’re not as present with loved ones as you’d like to be, or you’re doing mundane work that you don’t believe in any more, or you’re just looking back at the day and feeling like you didn’t make the most of it. In any case, Oprah has a reminder for you.

“You define your own life. Don’t let other people write your script.”

Oftentimes feelings of dejection or lack of purpose are a result of you living for someone else, or allowing someone else’s vision for your life to take priority over your own. These are the ‘shoulds’ of life and they come from all over - The expectations of others, the precedent established by society, and the ways of accepting the way things are around you.

But that’s exactly it. You get in life what you’re willing to tolerate, and in every moment you’re establishing your standard. It’s a dynamic set point that fluctuates over the course of days, weeks, months and years. But knowing that you have a say in the matter is an incredibly empowering thought because it gives you the freedom of choice.

You can choose to live your own story rather than the story that appears to be written for you. It takes courage to do, it’s uncomfortable, and it creates confrontation. Lisa Bilyeu calls this having “radical confidence”. If you want to feel an enthusiasm for life and excitement about the things you do, you cannot expect to get that by living by anyone else’s standards but your own.

So go there with me for a moment. What do you secretly want that you haven’t given a strong voice to? What things have you always wanted to do but you felt like it was too controversial or against the grain in your life? I’m not asking you to do it, but I am asking you to think about how good it would feel if you did.

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