Self Improvement Daily Podcast

There’s a book that I haven’t read yet, but have heard it mentioned enough times where I feel I can share the general concept. It’s called “The Second Mountain” by David Brooks.

The Second Mountain tells us about the two phases of life. The first phase, and the first mountain, is to build our careers and families. We identify with success as having a stable career that we enjoy and a nice house with the people we love in it. It’s a life that makes us happy.

It’s not a bad life by any means, but Brooks finds that there’s a Second Mountain that you can only see from the peak of the first that is truly our life’s work. It’s a mountain where we’re dedicated to being of service to others, making a meaningful contribution to the community, and tapping into the ultimate pay off of “moral joy”. 

It takes courage to climb the second mountain because it means you need to descend the mountain you just climbed. You need to separate yourself from the achievements, accolades, and success that you thought you wanted, and that society told you to pursue. You also need to accept the sunk costs of moving on after all of the time and energy you put into climbing the first mountain, which is hard to do especially when it comes as a personal sacrifice.

Personally, I’m extremely drawn to living a life of purpose, so I was interested to learn more about how I can go about living a life of service while still establishing myself. Brooks’ has two recommendations. First is to prioritize relationships and connections. While the First Mountain’s effort is very individualistic, you can choose to pursue personal achievement alongside others. It’s a simple shift in approach. 

Second, as you’re developing skills and building strengths, keep in mind how those skills and strengths could be applied in service of the community in the future. It’ll make the transition that much smoother.

Let me offer a fact that doubles as a huge perspective shift - Darkness is simply the absence of light. Darkness itself isn’t a thing. There’s nothing that creates darkness. Even a black hole in space - it has such a strong gravitational pull that it prevents reflected light from being visible to us.  

What this does is it helps us really grasp what’s in our control about creating a less dark, brighter life. And that’s to allow more light into our lives.

With that in mind, I want to share a powerful Victor Frankl quote that really contextualizes what it means to produce more light. Rather than being at the mercy of the scary, sullen, despairing, hopelessness of darkness, we can understand what’s required of us to produce more light in the world. And that lesson from Frankl is “What is to give light must endure burning.”

Dropping some more physics into this, it is physically impossible for something to produce light without producing heat. This means that heat is a requirement for light, which means there will always be a burn associated with bringing light to the world. 

This is literal of course, but the same rings true for how we abstractly create positivity. We must be willing to endure the criticism of others. We must accept that there is pain on the journey as we experience the setbacks and challenges that make us most prepared to give light.

Ed Mylett often says that our hardships, insecurities, mistakes, and shortcomings are what most qualify us to be of service to others, to be the light others need. But that light doesn't brighten the darkness without experiencing the burn that comes with it.

So instead of taking any kind of burning as a sign that we’re doing things wrong, we can change our perspective and see it as a necessary ingredient for what’s to come next. And as long as we stay deeply immersed in the process and persevere through the discomfort of the burn, the more we create the potential for light.

And why is that? “What is to give light must endure burning.”

This is a mindset I’ve been working on a lot for the last year or two, and I wanted to add perspective to it. You’ve probably heard this idea a bunch of times and in a bunch of different ways: “Failure is feedback”, “You either win or you learn”, or when you lose, “You either get bitter or you get better.”

As with just about everything in our personal development, knowing it is one thing and actually believing it is another. It’s easy to rehearse good sound-bite quotes but it’s another thing to actually live them out. Especially when it’s something as vulnerable as losing, making a mistake, not being good enough, or failing... It’s even harder to be accountable to having a strong mindset.

Another way it was phrased recently by Dr. Benjamin Hardy, that really clicked for me, was that “Mistakes are gains”.

But it was within a different context. Dr. Hardy also said that “Who you are right now is as fleeting as the present moment.” The present moment is here and it’s gone, which is exactly the same as the version of you that heard the beginning of this sentence and the version of you that is finishing this sentence. There’s new information that has been incorporated to create a new you.

As humans are evolving on a moment by moment basis. This means that when we experience success or failure, it permanently changes us. But failure is an information-rich data source, so when we fail we actually advance more than we do when we succeed. Our evolution accelerates when we lose, don’t meet expectations, and fail.

That’s why it creates a binary result. Either you succeed, which is a win, or you have the opportunity to evolve more than you would have if you succeeded, which is also a win. But notice the caveat. It’s the opportunity to evolve…

The extent of growth that you experience is dependent on how receptive you are to it. So if you choose to feel bad for yourself, be avoidant of the fact that you fell short, or otherwise turn your back on really experiencing the failure out of self-preservation, you’re suffocating your ability to actually extract the full lesson that’s available to you.

As a personal example, I had a collaboration with Uber that I worked really hard to get live, but unfortunately it didn’t pan out how I wanted to. Rather than being self-critical about it or upset with myself that I blew this chance,I have dissected the reasons why it didn’t go as well as it could have so that I can be more prepared to make my next partnership successful.

But if I didn’t allow myself to see the lesson because I got caught up in being disappointed, I’m way more likely to make the same mistakes again.

My core philosophy for improving the quality of our life, whether it be in your health, productivity, relationships, mindfulness, or whatever, is to raise your baseline. When you hold yourself to a higher standard on a daily basis, and improve the quality and consistency of the fundamentals, that’s when you really put yourself in a position to achieve sustainable growth! 

More specifically, when we have clearly defined standards for how we want to be and behave on a daily basis, then we have a benchmark to measure our lives against to see how we did. 

This philosophy of raising your baseline comes primarily from Brian Johnson at Heroic, and recently he shared an additional metaphor that I want to connect to enforcing your standards.

Imagine you’re driving a car on a freeway. As you go fast on the road the white lines on each side of the lane blur to create almost a single faint line. This is your path forward, and you stay between the lines.

But when you need to exit, or do something different, then you need to switch lanes. So what you do is see where the lines of your lane are, see the lines of the lane you want to be in, and safely cross the lines to find your new best spot.

You’re the car, the lines are your standards, and your objective is to make the lines of your lane as bright as possible.

What does that mean?

When you’re about to deviate from your protocol, compromise a standard, or not meet your personal expectations in some way, you want it to be as obvious as possible. Instead of drifting out of the lane you’re in without realizing it, you want full awareness that it’s happening.

This does two things for you:

First, if you were drifting without realizing it, it gives you the opportunity to make a new choice to get back on track and course correct.

Second, if you are willing to go outside of your protocol, it acknowledges that you’re doing it by choice and intentionally. This makes you feel less guilty about it because you see it as a well thought out exception rather than a lapse in discipline or commitment.

As for creating brighter lines in your life, and clearly defining your standards... You must take the time to identify exactly what you want and be accountable to it.

How many times a week do you want to work out? How many nights a week do you want to go to bed on time? Under what circumstances are you okay with having dessert or cheat meals? How often is it acceptable to work beyond 5pm, or on weekends?

Without these standards in place you won’t know when you’ve crossed the line, which makes it way more likely that you’ll cross the line often.

And every time that happens it comes at the expense of you being able to feel and perform at your very best.

To establish brighter life lines in your life... And hold yourself to the higher standard you know you're capable of... Join me in the 21 Day Super Habits Challenge!

In just 3 weeks you will be more consistent, disciplined, and intentional... And as a result you'll begin actually achieving your goals (and more!)

One of the most iconic figures of modern history is Mahatma Gandhi not only for what he did, but the way he did it. The virtues he displayed, and the sacrifices he made created monumental changes to the world. We have a lot to learn from Gandhi, but today let’s focus on just just one of his quotes: "There is enough for everybody's need and not for everybody's greed"

I think we underestimate how destructive human greed is. It’s what leads to war so that countries can secure resources and live an opulent lifestyle. It’s what causes businesses to push their employees beyond their limits in the pursuit of greater returns. It’s the cause of corruption, no matter how big or small.

At the root of greed is a desire for security. Hard-wired into our brains is a scarcity mindset, where we need to make sure we have enough to keep ourselves safe. This causes human-nature to pursue resources in excess so that you have more comfort and security should some of it be taken away.

Going one level up from security is where we see the true expression of greed, which is a desire for power. With power you have more leverage to change the system and secure whatever it is that you need when you need it.

Of course, the opposite of scarcity is abundance, and that’s what Gandhi’s quote here is encouraging us to consider. "There is enough for everybody's need and not for everybody's greed". If we have faith that we are secure and safe, that we don’t need excess for ourselves because there’s infinite access to more, then we don’t need to go beyond our means.

This brings up an important conversation about what is ‘enough’. There are two sides of the coin - One that is 'just enough' to get by and meets your needs at a tolerable level, and one that is enough to fully satisfy your needs. Gandhi is suggesting this second form of enough, of sufficiency. If we can recognize when we’re at that level and reject going beyond it for unnecessary reasons, as a collective we can more readily tap into abundance.

So what can you do today to integrate this idea and live more abundantly? Reflect on this question - Is there anything where I am pursuing more even though my needs are being met?

The idea of ‘having an ego’ has gotten a bad reputation. People have learned to associate it with being ‘self-centered’ and ‘egotistical’. But that’s only one expression of the ego. It’s also in place to create your sense of self and identity, which when harnessed properly can be an incredible and positive driving force in your life.

So rather than completely removing and separating from our ego, let’s find ways to tame it so that we can operate with the virtues and characteristics that represent the best version of ourselves.

The idea of “taming your ego” is more commonly referred to as “swallowing your pride”. As the ego wants to maintain a positive self-image, it often rationalizes things so that you feel self-confident and self-assured. But it’s this manipulation of the facts that often causes our ego to lead us astray when we’re not in control of it it.

That’s why, sometimes we need to accept the fact that we were wrong or that we didn’t do good enough. This is painful for the ego to consider. But when we get through that layer of consciousness and can see the truth of the situation, then we can use that awareness to make positive adjustments in our life.

I have a textbook example to share with you. I used to wake up at 5:59 in the morning every day. Why? Because then I could tell myself I was up before 6, and it caused me to feel like I was striving, achieving, and more committed to my goals. But it was a facade. It was a construct I created to make me feel better about myself.

In understanding the motivation behind it, I started to see what I was sacrificing. I wasn’t getting the amount of rest I needed, causing me to not have my very best to give in moments that mattered to me. With less energy I had less discipline, made worse decisions, and stayed stuck and plateaued at a level that was less than when I would’ve been with more rest.

This was the byproduct of my sense of self trying to maintain that I was a “high-achiever”, which is still important to me, but it came at the expense of me actually being able to live up to it. I had to swallow my pride, admit to myself that I was wrong, and make a change. And now I’m performing at a higher level because I’ve advanced beyond the superficial standard my ego was holding me at. 

To tame your ego, use curiosity. Ask yourself why. Why am I getting up that early? Why am I committed to this project? Why do I feel myself judging people who are partying a lot, or eating unhealthy?

There’s a whole lot of understanding on the other side of how your ego has manufactured things to be.

Alright, this is basically a page from my diary - this is something I’ve been thinking a lot about for 2 weeks now, it really impacted my life and I’ve been meaning to organize my thoughts on it.

Something that a lot of people want in life is to find their purpose. It’s our reason for being and the difference we want to make in the world. This can be massively ambitious like wanting to solve  world hunger, huge and narrow like disrupting the pharmaceutical industry, or it can be humble and local like making sure your loved ones have a comfortable and happy life, or helping the dogs at your local animal shelter.

The realization that hit me like a ton of bricks was: What if our purpose in life isn’t about what we do, but it’s about who we are? What if purpose is found in the way we show up to things rather than what comes of the things we show up to?

It was November 8th and I finally understood this, and it was an emotional moment for me. I was hit with a wave of relief. It’s not about what I do. I don’t need to keep doing and doing and doing. I gave myself permission to just be, and that my being was enough. I don’t need to achieve or make things happen to be a success. I don’t need to do whatever it takes at all costs to hit my goals.

Now as you can tell this is really raw and tricky to navigate, and as of right now this is the sense I’m making of it. I want to place more focus on my being. I want to show up to my work with optimism, patience, and courage. I want to be disciplined and accountable to making good choices throughout the day in my health. I want to be present and enthusiastic in my interactions with others.

What’s interesting is that the ‘doing’ comes as a natural byproduct of who we’re ‘being’. So we still get our workout in when we don’t feel like it, and make the phone calls that scare us, and take action in ways that improve our life. But it’s not about the ‘doing’, it’s about holding yourself to a standard of who you’re ‘being’ in every single moment.

And as far as I can tell right now, even when you don’t ‘do’ to the extent that you’d want to, or to the quality that you need to in order to hit your goals... If you can honestly come back to feeling like you showed up for it, or found ways to improve how you can show up better in the future, then you’re living your purpose. And you can find fulfillment in that.

As someone who studies productivity and actively tries to live the most productive, intentional life that I possibly can, I think a lot about time management. Typically we see time management through the lens of how we can strike a balance between our personal priorities, professional commitments, and overall well-being. And while that’s all spot on and an appropriate place to focus our attention, the label of time management is misleading

We can’t manage time - it’s an ongoing, unrelenting construct that connects the present moment with the next. So until we invent time travel we’re all stuck with the same 24 hours in a day.

When we talk about time management what we’re really doing is managing our energy and focus. It’s a matter of where we apply the resources, that we have control over, within the time that is passing. This is a major shift in perspective because it helps you realize what we really should be optimizing for.

This has been the biggest area of growth in my personal development in this last year. I’m just not making myself busier and using new hacks to ‘get more done’. I’m really intentional about exercising, resting, and fueling myself so that I have more energy to deliver quality in the moments that matter. And further, I’ve been really particular about what I’m working on to stay more focused on what’s important, and doing more planning so that I’m spending my time doing only the most high-leverage things that create the best results.

Time management really is an attempt to become more productive, which has two variables: Quantity of effort and quality of effort. I’ve been focusing more on the latter by being more strategic, resourceful, and intentional where now I’m doing less but getting more done and getting better results.

When you see time management with this new perspective it creates a shift that allows you to evolve the way you do things. A new paradigm asks something new from you. And if you want to maximize the impact of this perspective shift, and implement the exact same  self-improvement and productivity systems I use to be less busy and make faster progress on what’s most important to me, I’ve consolidated a decade of trial and error into a 21 day process to get you up to speed.