Here’s a trick that will help with your communication skills.  So often, in conversation, do we feel like we need to fill a silence with noise to relieve the tension. In reality, it is better idea to embrace the silence, as it is a stronger statement and testament to your comfortability in the conversation.

You’ve heard the phrase “pause for effect” before I’m sure, especially in a public speaking setting, but the same concept can and should be used on a daily basis.  A master of this is perhaps the most influential speaker in history, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

"And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream. I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal."

A pause in conversation does a few interesting things. For starters, it makes both people think deeply what was just said, and even draw some of their own conclusions in only seconds.  Additionally, it shows that you are comfortable being vulnerable, which comes off as a clear sign of confidence.  And last, it allows the speaker more time to think, which in turn makes them more eloquent and impactful with their words.  Next time you’re in a conversation, embrace the silent moments, and feel the empowerment.

Feeling discouraged is a natural part of life. We all have moments when we wonder why we spend our time and energy doing the things that we do. Perspective is huge, and knowing that getting observable results takes time, is a necessary perspective to have. Fabio Marrama shares a bit about his relationship with this reality.

" How many people can relate to this quote, 'I do not know what I am doing, but I know what I am doing is leading me somewhere good'. That is the epitome of my life right now. I think it is am awesome quote because nobody knows what they are going to be doing in five years. Some people do, but most people do not. Listen, If you have that quote on your mind, just keep doing it. That means you are doing little compound things that are opening doors of opportunity of new challenges that is leading somewhere good. A saw a great quote by Goldie Chan, and she stated, 'I do not really know what I am doing, but I know that I am doing a lot of it really well'. Keep doing those things. Listen, you do not have to know exactly what you are going to be doing in five years . But, if that is the thing that is in on your mind, just keep doing it. You are going to be going to some great places that you didn't expect".

Marrama does a great job articulating the concept of delayed gratification. Keep your chin up, because the wins are around the corner.

Let’s have an introspective and reflective moment. Which of your qualities are most important to you? Take a good hard look at yourself and see what you find. The reason I ask is because the answer to that question is usually pretty revealing.  It tells you what you really prioritize about yourself. Another way of putting it, it uncovers your core principles. So, lets take the time to formalize your core principles.

When I started this process myself, it took me over a week to figure out what I truly hold most dear and what I take the most pride in. I still see this as a dynamic process, and my own core principles will always be re-evaluated based on new circumstances. Nonetheless, it is important to have them.  For example, my core principles are Quiet Diligence, Dream Big, Enjoy the Journey, and Dependable Execution. I am still working on a fifth, which is something along the lines of Treat People Right.  

Having formal and explicit Core principles provides a cornerstone for all decision making. If they truly reflect the person you want to be, then you can use them in any dilemma, with the point being that all decision align with your overall vision for yourself and the person you want to be. 

If having concise representations of complex concepts is difficult for you, like it was for me, then I suggest adding smaller affirmations that contribute to the larger core principle.  For example, within quiet diligence, one affirmation is, “i believe in practicing humility and letting actions speak louder than words”.

This message comes from the founder of Huck's Sustainable Katie Wallace, who shares a bit about how to be more sustainable in your live.

"I am going to give you ten ways that you can start living a more sustainable life starting today. In order to live a sustainable life, you need to know what sustainability is. Most people hear that and think of the environment being green. Yes, you are absolutely right. But, there is a lot more that goes into it. Think people, planet, and profits. I will give you an easy definition of sustainability that you can carry with you. Essentially, it is the ability to continue to operate in the way in which you are offering indefinitely. This requires a lot of mindfulness and you have to realize that your actions profoundly impact all of the people, places, and things around you and around the world. Here are the ten ways that you can lead a more sustainable life, starting right now. Number one: consume less meat and dairy. Number two: meditate. Number three: buy organic products. Number four: buy these products locally. Number five: evaluate your companies practices. Number six: no plastics. Number seven: Workout. Number eight: Build community. Number nine: Say no to fast fashion. Number ten: Buy second hand. Hopefully those are helpful and you can start becoming more sustainable in your life starting today".

Alright, remember when we learned so many life lessons, like “The golden rule of treating people the way you want to be treated”, or “sharing is caring”.  Well, I want to talk about the phrase, “Actions speak louder than words”.  

This was brought to my attention, indirectly, by an article I read that was written by Kaja Perina, the Editor in Chief of Psychology Today.  In the article, Perina talks about how our true intentions usually can be hidden in our words but can be seen pretty clearly in our behavior, particularly when we are faced with challenging situations.

So, in challenging situations, let your actions speak louder than words, and put your positive intentions on display.

First, this is a good tactic from a conflict resolution perspective. If you respond to conflict in a positive way, as shown by your actions and genuine desire to come to an agreement, then your perspective in the argument will be more valued and the conflict short lived. But, your actions shouldn’t only convince others of your intentions. They should also convince you. Your actions have a crazy way of influencing your physiology and creating a cycle that rewards that behavior. So, by going out of your way to help someone else, whether it be a random act of kindness or a good friend, the action induces a cascade of positive effect that can manifest in other areas or your life.

It’s simple, Let your actions speak louder than words by choosing to act.  It will say more than words ever could.

This message demonstrates how powerful our minds are. This messages is shared by Katherine Miller, who introduces how changing one word can change your life.

"Today's tip is a simple way to finally stop relying on sheer willpower to stay on that diet, cut out unhealthy habits, stop dating and keeping toxic people in your life and more. Researchers have discovered the best way to get every one of these thing accomplished is to do one simple word switch. Replace the word 'can't with 'don't'. It is that simple. Instead of saying, 'I can't drink sodas', when your friend offers you a coke and you are on a diet, say ' I do not drink soda', and then replace that soda with water. While don't and can't seem like different side of the same coin, physiologically, they are worlds apart. The word don't implies that we are making a choice,and we have control over our actions. While the word can't tells our brain someone else is controlling us and we are being deprived, even if that is not the case. This triggers an automatic subconscious desire to break free and even repel grab that coke or date that person you know you should not be dating".

Have you gotten dressed and ready for the day yet? If not, then hear out this little tidbit. And if you have, keep this in mind for tomorrow.

Go ahead and put on something red. It sounds a little ridiculous, but there’s truth to it. Studies show that people rate themselves as more attractive, powerful, and prestigious when wearing red. In turn, you feel more confident throughout the day.  

Living with confidence has a weird way of attracting people to you. You become a more appealing conversational partner, you are sought after more often to provide input, and you are someone that people generally want to spend more time around. You are viewed as a leader, and with this attention you may discover new opportunities and interests that used to be out of your scope. Feeling confident affects your physiology, altering your hormone levels to help you take on challenges head first.  

However, don’t go buying 10 new red shirts, because this isn’t meant to work every day. Over time, our physiology becomes less sensitive to the stimulus of wearing red and we no longer feel the same extent of confidence.  

Now, that you’re in on the secret, use the power! Give it a try sometime this week and note how you feel. Then, save it for a special occasion, like a big meeting or a first date, and let the confidence exude!

Take the stairs. 

I realize many of us may not work in an environment that requires being on multiple floors, but for those who do, hear me out. As important as long, strenuous bouts of exercise are, it is equally important to incorporate exercise throughout your day rather than all at once. This approach complements our physiology’s natural process by extending the positive effects of exercise throughout the day, because the threshold to receive those benefits is lower than you might think. Experts believe that climbing just eight flights of stairs a day lowers average early mortality risk by 33%, and just two minutes extra stair climbing a day is enough to stop average middle age weight gain.  

How simple is that? It’s not rocket science to incorporate this tip. Make a conscious decision to get exercise in random moments. Another example of how you could do this is choosing to park in the back of a parking lot and walking a bit to your destination. 

When you’re sitting down at dinner and your friend leaves, or a service worker tells you to wait for a few moments to be helped at the front of a line, what is the first thing we all do?  We check our phones!  Why do we do this?  It’s a comfortable behavior, and we are familiar with everything on our phone, and it provides shelter from the crazy world around us. I mean who would just sit there and look around? That’s weird!

Well no, it’s actually a really good and beneficial thing to do, and here is why. First, it keeps you from hunching over your phone, and sitting or standing up with good posture reflects positive in your physiology. Second, we seldom take time to just be in the moment. Society is very fast paste these days, and setting aside time to be with yourself is valuable from a mental health perspective. Lastly, it’s a small way to break the habit of relying on our phones. We have developed a strange dependence on our phones that is pervasive in our lives and behavior. 50% of people feel uneasy when they don’t have their phones with them, and 61% of people keep their phone either under their pillow our next to their bed. Although technology and connectivity is important, just like any behavior it needs to be done in reasonable amounts.

So, resist the urge to take out your phone in non-stimulating situations. Or, better yet, if you’re really up to the task, choose to leave your phone behind for a while. Give it a try and see how in-tuned you are with everything else going on around you.