What is the first thing you think of when someone mentions jealousy? It has a negative feel to it doesn’t it. I thought that too, until recently when I heard Mel Robbins share her take on the cause of jealousy. 

“You can be in a space where you can be happy and you are thrilled for someone you love and care about and respect, because you’re watching them have their dreams come true, so you can feel all of that. And if you also feel jealous, what that means is that’s your unrealized dreams trying to get you to pay attention.  It’s not about hatred for the other person.  Envy is about hatred for the other person, because envy is when you think ‘well you didn’t work hard enough for that’.  Jealousy is basically your dreams saying ‘hey, that is something that you care about.”

The way Mel broke down the difference between jealousy and envy was brilliant. It’s important to strip each emotion and reveal its cause and deeper meaning. Jealousy is fueled by introspection and problems within yourself, whereas envy resides in your resentment of others. So, jealousy is much healthier than envy because you can do something about it! Next time you start feeling jealous, think about how that emotion relates to your own insecurities.

This is one of the oldest tricks in the book but so under used. Even with all of the technology we have available to us today, there sometimes is still no replacement for doing things the old-fashioned way, and this is no exception.

Write a handwritten note. This doesn’t mean write an email, or send a text. It means pull out a piece of paper, write down your thoughts in your own handwriting, and deliver a tangible product.  

I know, it seems like unnecessary effort, but that’s the point. Dedicating the time to express appreciation, show an interest, or be there for someone else is extremely well received. Your commitment to another person is clear when its in your own handwriting, and it represents more than digital words ever could.  

Additionally, it makes the words you write more true to yourself. The physical act of writing something down has a deep association within your psychology, and your affirmations affect your psyche in a more physiological way

Give it a try the next time you want to say thank you, send an invitation, or share a memory. It’ll make you feel better about what you’re writing about, and it’ll be better received by the recipient.  

Next time you can, give a friend the gift of a handwritten note and see what happens.

What do you do when you’re stressed?  Let’s say a bunch of things have gotten out of control and have added up in your life. How do you release that tension?  Did screaming cross your mind?

Screaming is a great way to get emotion out of your system. This works because emotion can’t really take a physical form, in fact, we usually suppress it. But, it is very healthy and natural to let it out of your system, and screaming is one of our most natural forms. Think about how we yell at the TV during sports, or how we raise our voices to ourselves when we make a mistake. Screaming definitely serves its purpose in society.

So scream, but do it when appropriate. You don’t want to scare your neighbor, or have anyone question your sanity, but find the right opportunity to get it done and you’ll feel better and refreshed. Just the other day I was having a tough day, and things weren’t going well, so I went on a run and, when it felt right. When I was alone, I gave out a good yell, and man did it feel good. Give it a try yourself the next time you need to get that emotion out of your system.

Personal development is all about taking steps toward our greatest potential, and viewing it as a process reminds us that it’s not going to happen all at once.  We’re on a beautiful journey toward that better version of ourselves!

To continue, the quote has an implicit faith in the process.  Whether the influences alone are positive or negative, this quote is about choosing to see everything that happens to us as a step forward.  

Knowing that everything plays its role in crafting the person you are meant to become helps in all areas of our life.  It helps us reason when things don’t go right, and iterate when things can be improved, and see the greater vision through the fog.  So I’m going to say it again. “I am in the process of becoming the best version of myself.”  We are all a work in progress aren’t we?

Let's talk a little bit about the importance of being in tune with yourself. Whether you are a high achiever or a low achiever, the achievement should always be viewed within the context of how you went about working on it. Being honest with yourself, and doing the right things for the right reasons, can make lesser accomplishments feel more fulfilling. Bradley Tusk, the CEO of his own Venture Capital Fund and a successful author, touched on this in an interview I had with him recently. 

“I try to challenge my own assumptions every day, right? So, if we have a weekly call and after the third time in a row, if I don’t feel it was that productive, I question ‘Do we need this call and what do I need to do to do this differently?’ I also go to therapy every week. I mentioned I pray every morning. I try to figure out if I did anything good the day before, did anything bad the day before, if I did something bad I try to make amends. I hold myself extremely accountable, and some of that is ethically / morally, some of that is intellectually, some of that is professionally. Sometimes it gets done through lists, sometimes it gets done through routines and habits. But, I have a lot of things I want to accomplish both in my work career and as a human being, and it only gets done if you make it get done. So accountability to me is everything”.

This message is to Check Yourself. It is so important to allocate a time to just evaluate your life and the means by which you live. Are you proud of your work and accomplishments, or a little embarrassed by some of your actions? If it’s the latter, it is not too late, and a performing a personal audit on your values will help right the ship. In order to have an intrinsically successful career, you must have an ethically sound foundation to start from.

Who hasn’t heard this expression before, "don’t judge a book by it’s cover"?  As tempting as it is, making judgments about the way something is can be a slippery slope.  Although I must preface, being judgmental is important in a lot of ways. For one, it helps us evaluate threats, understand our surroundings, and usually make good decisions.

I want to focus on how making judgments about other people can be to a detriment, which brings us to today’s tip, “Don’t judge a book by its cover”.

Our first inclination when assessing someone is external. Our attraction to them physically, the way they dress, the way they carry themselves, is all communicated within seconds. This is featured in Malcolm Gladwell’s book, Blink, where he calls this quick perception “thin-slicing”.  Make a point to see beyond the exterior and more into where compatibility lies.  

To do so, simply start getting to know the other person and remove any pre-conceived notions about who they are or what they do. Having an open-mind when first meeting someone is the foundation to a mutually beneficial relationship so that you can understand each other for who your are.

Then, as the relationship builds, continue to use that information to better relate with them.  

So don’t judge a book by its cover. Compatibility is way more than skin-deep and each person deserves that you take the time to see it.

This message is all about eliminating self-doubt. Charlie Houpert, the eloquent founder of “Charisma on Command”, talks about his 5 tips to overcome self-doubt.

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Have you heard of the term “elevator pitch”?  Basically, it is a sales pitch, usually about your product or company, that you can recite in the amount of time it takes to ride in an elevator, just in case you are in the elevator with someone important. Although limited in time, a good elevator pitch can portray enough information to allow a decent overall understanding while making them excited to want to hear more.

I propose that we all have a personal elevator pitch. Something that is just enough to explain what we do, why we do it, and what we are hoping to achieve.  

This can be useful from a few different angles. First, is it will help you hone in on your personal brand. When crafting a short message, you only have time to mention your personal highlights, which might be pretty revealing in understanding your own priorities. Also, if you do come across a big moment, maybe someone you are hoping to network with, you have an optimized way to present them about yourself and close a meeting.  At the very least, developing a personal elevator pitch will help you be transparent with yourself and where your skillset and priorities lie.  

So, to get started, brainstorm a few things to help identify those important parts of your life. For me, those things are personal development, being creative with the psychology of others, and making an impact. I’m still working on how I synthesize all of it, but I think there is an easy connection between those pieces and the marketing and self improvement daily roles I am in.

The next steps are to write that story and rehearse it, so that it is ready in the arsenal when the right time comes.