I have some big news to share, and I am super proud of it, because it’s the culmination of a lot of hard work. The podcast Self Improvement Daily has reached 1M downloads! It blows my mind, that is such a huge number, and it’s still hard for me to grasp.

The best part is, I didn’t even know what that meant! After having conversations with other podcasters about it, I learned how big of a milestone it is. It’s funny too because I wasn’t even watching for it. I did not check my overall play statistics in months but something compelled me to check, and wouldn’t you know it I was at 990,000.

I say this all because there is a huge lesson in it. When you achieve something, celebrate it! It doesn’t matter that it’s an impressive statistic in the scope of all podcasters. It means something to me and that’s something worth celebrating.  

Too often do we resort to comparison and relativity when it comes to assessing our accomplishments. If you think something is worth celebrating, then go for it, and enjoy your win and appreciate the work that it took to get there.

But honestly, I owe it to you. To each and every one of you who has shared an episode with a friend, came back to listen to me frequently, and allowed me to be a part of your life and routine. You have already given me way more than I can ask for, but I learned recently that the truest demonstration of humility is being able to ask for help, so here it goes.

I am going to break this quote up into pieces.  First, “Stop doubting yourself”.  The most influential limitations we experience are the limitations we impose on ourselves.  We believe that we are not capable or not worthy of whatever we want to achieve. If I had to guess I think it comes from the way our brain is hardwired to identify and fixate on negativity.  We see all of the errors and flaws in ourselves, and focus on the 10% bad rather than the 90% good.  We have to get over it and stop doubting ourselves.

Then the second part of the quote reads, “work hard and make it happen”.  The beautiful thing about life is how flexible it is. Even though things may appear one way doesn’t mean it will always be that way.  To work hard is to take action on something in a very focused way, and it is possible to bring about change if you truly dedicate to it.  

The thought that our condition is temporary, and that we are capable of creating change in our lives through hard work, is a beautiful thing. It empowers us to take our time and effort seriously because positive results are possible.  With this new-found optimism, it’s hard not to be grateful for the opportunity.  Choose the perspective of positivity, take control of the important elements of your life. Lastly, be sure to not doubt yourself while you’re doing it.

We know the value of working hard and being diligent to seize opportunity, but what do we do for the unpredictables?  A quote that I always try to keep in mind is, “you don’t know what you don’t know”.

In the face of that unpredictability, we can be proactive about introducing variation so that we can roll with the punches when the moment comes. This concept was presented to me by Kira Day, Founder of the Passion Centre.

‍

So, in order to microdose change you need to intentionally experiment. Let’s say your job requires you to be in at 6 am every morning instead of 9. You can proactively add variation to your wake up schedule to be more prepared to make that transition.  

This technique is best put into practice when your life is a bit in flux. Give yourself a brief exposure to something new might be the difference in you securing an amazing opportunity!

In the book, Atomic Habits, by James Clear, Clear talks about our genetic predispositions that we inherit. Someone who is 6’4 with a long torso is much more likely to be an olympic swimmer, not a runner. Why don’t we have the same realizations about ourselves?

The example Clear gave in the book describes this best. You warm water to a boil. You put a potato in and it turns soft. You put an egg in and it becomes hard. You cannot decide whether you are a potato or an egg, but you can decide what field you play in, and if that field is better suited for being hard or being soft.  

We all exist in different fields of competition and are subject to this same thought. There are certain things we are naturally better at, and often we are pushed in that way based on interest, validation, and intermediate successes. We must not be resistant to that push because that is where our natural aptitude lies, which often is the place of our unique purpose and ultimate contribution.

Having an understanding for where your skill-set lies requires self-awareness. Acknowledging that there is an element of genetic predisposition, paired with the environment that you exhibited those tendencies in, creates this beautiful formula that creates you and all of your uniqueness. That needs to be embraced if you want to be truly effective in your life with respect to impact, efficiency, and fulfillment.

When it comes down to it, everything that we are working on comes down to outcomes. It could be an outcome like getting a raise, which is very externally facing, or it could be to gain more self awareness, which is entirely intrinsic. And even for those like myself who believe that you need to find joy in the journey not the destination, I would still argue that joy itself would be the outcome you are seeking in the journey.

Okay, now the question becomes. How do we go about getting the outcomes we seek? Well, an outcome is often broad and abstract, and it needs to be broken down into actionable steps if we want to begin making progress on it. So, the logical answer would be to take action. But, taking action comes in many forms. We often take action in ways that are detrimental to the outcomes we want to achieve without even knowing it! We need to think about if the action is contributing to the larger mission, or is it doing more harm than good? To be on the positive side of that, focused action is key to earning a result or outcome, and I would call that form of action “intentional action”.

Okay, let’s take one more step. How can you make sure you’re taking intentional action? Well, your actions are dictated by your choices, whether you’re conscious of those choices or not. So, being clear and intentional on your choices is fundamental to taking the right form of action.  

Now, let’s see it come full circle. Outcomes are a result of your actions. Actions are a product of your choices. So, if you want to achieve a certain outcome, you need to make the right choices and set yourself up for success!

Something I’ve been doing recently when I get home from work is throwing darts. My roommate has a dartboard, and he’s really good at it, so I figured I’d give it a try. Through consistent practice I have gotten better, but I’m still not great at it. At the least, I go until I get one bullseye. Sometimes it takes 5 minutes, sometimes it takes 15. But this weekend was different. Instead of casually throwing darts like normal, I decided to dedicate all of my focus to it. I visualized, I rehearsed, I told myself in my mind I was going to do it, and on the first throw I got a bullseye. I was blown away. It worked! I geared myself up again, focused, visualized, and boom. Bullseye again. This time I hit center red! 

I’m not saying I could duplicate that on command, but I am saying that my heightened state of focus and effort allowed me to improve my outcomes. I had never thrown two bullseyes in a row before, I didn’t even think that I could, but now I did, and I’m wondering what else I have been ruling out when it comes to my capabilities.  

You are more capable than you know.  

There is something inside each of us that we can access if we really want to. It might be within your core competency, it might be something you’ve never tried before.  But, just because you can’t see something in the moment doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist, or that you can’t tap into it. We all have a latent potential that is begging to be accessed.

Let's listen to a part of J. Cole's song, "Love yourz", because there is an amazing message in it.

"And that's a man who was once in your shoes
Living with nothin' to lose
I hope one day you hear me
Always gon' be a bigger house somewhere, but man feel me
'Long as the people in that place love you dearly
Always gon' be a whip that's better than the the one you got
Always gon' be some clothes that's fresher than the one's you rock
Always gon' be a woman that's badder out there on the tours
But you ain't never gon' be happy till you love yours

No such thing as a life that's better than yours
No such thing as a life that's better than yours
(Love yourz)".

It is all about appreciating what you have which is everything you need and more. It is a natural tendency to be ambitious and look forward about getting more. He talks about a bigger house, a faster car, and a hotter girlfriend. But the truth is there will always be more to reach for. If you only find contentment in possessing that ideal, then you will continue to feel like you are coming up short in life. So, love yours. Look at what you have in your life already, and how amazing that is. The enemy of good is better. When observing what you have in your life through a lens of positivity you can begin to see that you already have everything you need. The rest is just a bonus.

Have you ever felt the urge to do something, knowing you shouldn’t? It is so strong and your brain does whatever it needs to do to rationalize the behavior. Whether it was holding off on finishing the food on my plate, checking my Instagram to see if people commented on my post, or texting an ex because I felt lonely. I have definitely been there and we all have.  But fortunately for us, there is a solution!

The technique is called Surf the Urge. Basically, when you get that urge to act on something, give yourself 10 minutes between feeling like you want something and indulging on it. This does a few things that positively affect your psyche and decision making process.  

First, notice that you are not resisting the urge. You are not ignoring it or telling it to go away, you are merely putting it on hold for a later time. This makes the urge powerless over your behavior because you give it nothing to fight against. Therefore not providing it with the mental energy that fuels its persistence.

Then second, is taking 10 minutes to wait out the urge does an interesting to your habit process. If you take action immediately, your behavior immediately follows the trigger that prompted it, which is how habits like to work and often continue subconsciously. But, if you put time between the trigger and the behavior, you are weakening the relationship between the two and your decision to act becomes much more conscious. This means that you are deciding based on your intentions rather than your deeply ingrained habits, which is more likely to produce the result you want.

So, the next time you feel that irresistible urge, don’t ignore it. Just tell yourself that you will satisfy the urge in 10 minutes if it remains. Odds are it wont!